Chapter 13: Jasper's Wild Side.

Disclaimer: Can't we just share? No? OK.

SO sorry its late guys. It's been one heck of a ride for me these last few days. This chapter just would not come together right and the dreaded writers block struck,
-insert scream recording here.-

Oh so lets recap: Edward is depressed from his lack of Bella, though he doesn't know it yet. He also seems to have picked up Bella's luck. :3. Everyone is laughing hysterically at Esme's pain. OK all is right with the world, lets go!


The next morning brought with it a very annoyed Esme and still hysterical Emmett, this resulted in the loss of his new Xbox from said annoyed Esme. Carlisle was currently hiding in his study with no intentions to come out anytime soon. I had no idea where the others were.

I was sitting in my bedroom bored and hungry, my stomach was violently protesting the last part. The question was did I 'really' want to go out into that war zone? No-man's-land was not the place to be right now but if I didn't eat soon I just might pull a vampire.

I crept my way to the mangled kitchen to find something to eat, I 'had' skipped dinner after all. I looked around the corner looking for any signs of danger but the kitchen was deserted. Luck was with me today, at least that's what I thought.

The remains of the sink was still spouting water like some kind of bizarre fountain. The floor was completely soaked, as was half the living room carpet.

Being careful not to trip I made my way over to the refrigerator, surprisingly it was still intact. I only slipped twice trying to open it and was rewarded by... Nothing. The fridge was completely empty, unless you count an empty can of potted meat.

I sighed and made my way out of the kitchen, sliding like an ice skater on the standing water. It was a very good thing I had gotten out so quickly too. I had barley made it to the sofa when I heard a shout coming shrilly from lungs far too small to make such a noise.

"SLIP N' SLIDE!" Now thoroughly shocked I decided to take cover quickly.

Alice and Emmett slid down the stairs on pieces odd, light blue plastic. The crashes they made could probably be heard all the way in Forks. They shot past me and flew through the kitchen, splashing water onto the cabinets in the process.

They shot out of the back door at top speeds, they had probably just broken some kind of 'slip n' slide' record. I just stood there, in my pajamas, soaked and stunned. what the hell?

I heard Esme screech from somewhere upstairs, the sound of her crashing footsteps broke me out of my trance and I threw myself further behind the sofa.

"If there is so much as one SCRATCH on my marble floor, you-are-going-to-PAY!" She flashed past me and flew out the door after her delinquent and somewhat insane children. I made my way back into the kitchen, still as slippery as always. There were little ripples and waves in the water from the passage of the ADHD vampires.

I thought most of the danger must be gone now that Alice and Emmett were out of the house. Jasper and Rosalie were not likely to do anything drastic after all, at least I hoped not.

Carlisle slunk past me into the kitchen and stared out the wall-window, he looked whipped.

"Good morning Bella, can I get you anything?" His eyes never meet mine, he was still waiting for something to happen outside. I walked over to him to stare out of the wall as well. I couldn't see anything but the forest though, in the distance a tree broke in half.

"I'm kind of hungry, do you have any 'human food' around here?" He smiled, and shook his head.

"Not anything that wont send you to the emergency room. Esme was going shopping for food later, but I think she's a little preoccupied at the moment." He seemed to be holding back gales of laughter. I was not impressed, but I now had a since of hope.

"Carlisle, would you mind going shopping instead. I think I might be able to eat whatever you find." He smiled, and nodded.

"I'll pick up some stuff before I go to work." He took one last glance out the window and made his way towards the door, only a little faster than a normal human.

"Is there anything in particular you would like Bella?" I smiled and ran over to him, only slipping once on the saturated carpet.

"Yeah, there is Carlisle, I have a list. Hold on a minute and I'll go grab it." I took off like a shot down the stairs, to them I probably looked like a demented duck or something.

I made my way through the mess that had accumulated in the small basement room. Alice was planning to move me up to Edward's room soon, she said the closet was better. I just hope she didn't burn his clothes for room after she ransacked the mall for my new wardrobe.

I finally found the list buried under yesterdays, slightly charred, socks. After tripping on the stairs, running was not doing me much good, I made my way back to Carlisle. He hadn't moved one inch, he seemed to be thinking really hard about something. Probably whether or not to commit his 'family' to some kind of rehab center.

"Hey, here's my list. Oh and make sure you get the chocolate one of these." I pointed to an item on the list and he just looked at me blankly.

"OK Bella, I'll try." He looked uncomfortable as he made his way out of the house. I didn't think I would be getting the chocolate cereal but at least it would be edible. I made my way over to the window to see if there was any action going on yet. Nope, still nothing I could see.

I was just planning to go searching for something else to eat when heard a small noise on the stairs. I turned expecting to see Carlisle or Rosalie but instead saw Jasper making his way towards me, he was grinning.

"Hey Bella, its good to see my idiotic family hasn't hurt you yet." I grinned, Jasper never held back things because he was afraid of scaring me. I liked him all the better for that. Of all of them I found Jasper the easiest to be around most of the time, probably because he was so calm.

I sighed and stared out the window again, today was going to be boring. I hoped Alice would stay preoccupied with Emmett and whatever ridiculous plans she had for the destroyed kitchen instead of a makeover.

"Hey, Jazz?" He flinched at my use of his nickname, Alice was the only one allowed to call him that.

"what it is Bella?" He was glaring daggers at me but the humor wafting off him proved his face to be a lie. Maybe today wouldn't be that boring after all.

"So Jazzy-pants." His golden eyes widened in horror and fear filled them turning them black. He gave a little girlish shriek and ran for his room tripping several times on the stairs. What the heck did I do?

I shook my head and walked over to the sofa where I flopped down. Jasper had some serious psychological problems that would have to be worked out some time. I just hoped I wasn't in the room when he decided to blow.

I was still musing when Alice came charging into the room with Esme on her heels. Alice was laughing her head off and Esme was snarling death treats in a very UN-Esme like fashion. I could hear Emmett shouting something from the garage but he was to far away for me to make out his actual words.

Alice blurred past me and strait through the wall-window with an ear shattering crash. Esme let out a roar like a wounded elephant and charged after her with new steam. I really hoped that Alice got away, but then again bloody pieces couldn't put mascara on you.

I heard Emmett's booming laughter long before he stumbled into the door. His hair was tousled and he appeared to be missing several chunks of it. He was absently twisting one of his fingers back to the proper shape.

"Hey Bells! You just missed the most awesome game of tag EVER!" If Jasper had been in the room he probably would have been the first vampire in history to be knocked into an emotion based coma. Even I could feel the waves of excitement coming off Emmett. They and his appearance were starting to shock me a bit.

"Oh, hi Emmett. Are you feeling OK?" He gave an Alice bounce and ran over to me.

"Never better Bella! Lets go find Alice before Esme does." Even if she was my worst enemy I couldn't leave her to Esme's wrath.

"Sure Emmett, lets go." He grabbed me around the waist and then we were flying trough the door at top speed. I was terrified of course.

"Emmett slow down!" He glanced down at me in puzzlement.

"Why?" He truly did looked confused, poor Emmett. All thoughts were ripped from my head as I slipped another few inches. My body seized up and I screamed. Emmett leaped into the air and landed in a tree.

"BELLA, Bella are you OK?" I glared at him as I picked twigs from my hair.

"Never better Emmett, never better." There was a flurry of sound and movement at the base of the tree as Esme and Alice appeared.

"Emmett what did you do!?" Alice and Esme chorused, they sounded really upset. Emmett shook his head.

"I don't know she just started screaming." I huffed and looked down at the worried vampires. At least they weren't trying to rip each other to shreds now. All it took was another near death experience.

"I almost slipped out of the arms of a vampire going light speed, that's what happened." Esme rounded on Emmett and I saw fire in her eyes. Emmett cringed and leapt out of the tree.

"Esme?" He was actually trembling, Alice was backing away from both of them.

"Go to your room now." Esme's voice was cold and even, like thin ice. Emmett saluted and ran for it, he was still shaking. Esme turned to me and I was glad to see the fire was gone. It had been replaced by a fierce concern, a lion checking her cubs health just before ripping open the offenders throat.

"Bella honey, are you OK?" I nodded, I was mad at Emmett but I didn't want him to die.

"Other than being stuck in a tree I'm fine, Esme." Alice laughed and leapt onto one of the lower branches, still a good twenty feet off the ground.

"Don't worry Bella, I'm coming to rescue you." I sighed and leaned against the bark. This would have been just fine had I not been Bella. I felt the bark give way under me and I was falling again, at least it wasn't at vampire speed this time.

I must have blacked out because I awoke in my room with five worried vampires leaning over me.

"She's alive!" Alice started dancing around the room happily. Emmett gave me one of is huge grins and Carlisle continued to check my pulse.

"Alice I've been telling you for the past five minutes that she's alive." Carlisle sounded exhausted, I wondered what he had to put up with while I was out.

"I'm so sorry Bells, I had no idea that you were slipping. I'll make it up to you I swear, please forgive me." He would have continued to babble if Esme hadn't cut him off.

"Are you hungry dear, I've got some apple pie." She was dancing from one foot to the other in anticipation. Great, first the tree, now poison. I shouldn't have got up this morning.

"Umm, Esme?" She looked back at me wide eyed and quickly defended herself.

"It's one that Carlisle got from the store. I hope that's OK?" She was looking at me anxiously. YAY! I wasn't going to have to go to the emergency room, and the kitchen wasn't on fire! This might just turn out to be a good day after all.

"Sure Esme, I could use something to eat." I really could, I still had not eaten since lunch yesterday and my stomach was on the warpath. Alice pulled me to my feet and drug me out of my room to the kitchen. she didn't shut up the whole way, I'm not sure what she was talking about though, it was all in vamp speed.

"... And so I thought we would start with Hot Topic first," she concluded. She seemed to be waiting for some type of answer so I nodded. I probably wouldn't enjoy whatever it was that she had planned but I really wasn't up to arguing at this point.

"Umm, Alice, I'm really hungry so could we find some food now?" She nodded enthusiastically and ran over to the counter. There was a dishrag covered, something, sitting on it.

"Alice, what's that?" I was really starting to fear that Esme had not been entirely truthful to me. There was smoke rising from the dishrag, black smoke. Alice sniffed it and grimaced.

"It was frozen so Esme had to bake it, I'm sure its still good though." She pulled off the rag to reveal the charred mess that was once a lemon meringue pie. The rag had obviously been used to stifle the flames that had been there previously. Why me?

"That's OK Alice... I'm sure Esme meant well, I'll just make something for myself." I walked over to the cabinet and opened to find plastic sacked groceries. I sighed and opened the other cabinets only to find more bags. A pint of chocolate ice-cream caught my eye. It was OK, they hadn't been out long, I hoped.

I sloshed through the still soaked kitchen to the refrigerator, it was still empty except for the can. At least I didn't have to clean it out. I pulled out the can and threw it away as I began the long task of putting away the food. It appeared as if Carlisle had forgotten my list and simply bought me one of everything.

I was halfway through putting away the groceries before I noticed I had an audience. Emmett was watching me with curiosity and Alice's leg was shaking as she sat on one of the chairs. The others had left thank goodness but it was still odd to be watched like some kind of TV program.

"Umm guys, what are you doing?" They shifted and stared back at me. Emmett was leaning dangerously close to the edge of his chair.

"We were just watching you put away your food. That's okay right?" I just shrugged, if they found it entertaining why deprive them of their fun?

"Sure guys, whatever makes you happy." I went back to working with the mountain of canned food when I had the most wonderful idea. I turned back to than with what must have been an evil smile because they flinched.

"Bells, do we do anything wrong?" Emmett seemed ready to run but Alice's face lit up with a grin and she grabbed his arm.

"OH, BELLA WE'D LOVE TO!" She bounded out of her seat dragging Emmett along after her. It was an odd sight to see a little pixie of a girl dragging a horrified mammoth man.

Alice began throwing the cans into the cabinet at vampire speed. I heard more than one break and I'm sure the back of the cabinet was suffering from her crippling blows.

"Alice, Alice WAIT!" She stopped and looked back at me with puppy dog eyes.

"Did I do something wrong, Bella?" She sounded so sad, it was starting to make me feel guilty.

"Not really Alice, it's just that you cant throw them." I walked over and took the can of corn from her hand and set it on the shelf. A quick glance showed me that it looked like a major food war had taken place at the back, the plaster was broken out of the wall too.

"See you just set them on the shelf like this, you can stack them too." Emmett was starting to light up with glee when he saw what I wanted him to do.

"Now I want you guys to help me clean up this mess and then you can help be put the cans away." They rushed forward pushing me out of the way.

"Sure Bella, don't worry we've got this covered just go back to what you were doing." Emmett was really getting excited now I could hardly make out his words. Alice was just letting out a high pitched squeal that I'm sure was making the local bats go crazy.

Their arms were a blur as they started stacking the cans, I just hoped they didn't cause too much more damage. I made my way over to the freezer to start putting away the twelve gallons of Ice-cream when I heard it.

"EMMETT GET OUT HERE NOW!" I had never heard Jasper sound so angry, or so menacing. Waves of anger flooded through the kitchen making me clench my fist. Emmett dropped the can of peas he was holding and snarled.

Alice hissed and shifted into a crouch, Uh oh. Emmett was still growling as he stepped out onto the porch.

"You got something to say to me, or are you just bowing hot air out of your ass?" Wow, Emmett was really mad. Jasper was crouched in the middle of the front yard, his lips were drawn up in a silent snarl. I could see every one of his sharp, venom coated teeth.

"So, you thought it was funny to mess up my car did you? You know, I think your jeep need a few repairs." Emmett snarled and in a flash he had leapt off the porch strait at Jaspers throat.

There was a crash as they collided, it hurt my ears. They were rolling around snarling and trying to rip each other apart and I was standing on the porch too stunned to move.

"Bella get in here now!" Esme was yelling to me but my legs refused to work. I was staring at two raving monsters killing each other, two monsters that I was starting to think of as friends.

"Bella!" Esme grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up she started jogging back towards the house. Carlisle had come from somewhere and was trying to break the two of them apart, it wasn't working though.

Alice was still sanding where we had stopped, she seemed undecided on whether of not to help her husband or Carlisle.

"Alice?" She turned to look at me and shook her head. My last sight of her was her form leaping gracefully onto Emmett's back and sinking her teeth into his shoulder.

"Bella, are you all right sweetie?" Esme's soft voice brought me back into reality. Her butterscotch eyes were boring into my plain brown ones. I looked around the kitchen where my scattered groceries still sat. It seemed like a hundred years ago when I was packing them into their respectable places. I felt so tired.

"I'm fine Esme." I sounded as tired as I felt. I just wanted to go to my room and think, maybe I would get a hot shower.

"can I go to my room please?" She nodded but I don't think she believed I was as fine as I said I was. I didn't believe me either but I really wanted to get out of the room

"That's fine dear, I think you should try to sleep some. "I smiled, a nap sounded really good right now, even better than a shower.

I trudged down to my room still hearing the crashes and snarls of the deranged vampires. I hoped they didn't do this often, I was worried about Alice I had never seen her act this way before.

I struggled through the piles of clothes to my bed and flopped down. I couldn't believe how messy my room had gotten, Esme would probably have a heart attack if she saw it. I was just about to drift to sleep when I heard a small, annoying buzzing.

I sat up quickly and glanced around the room, nothing. I sat in my sleep induced dimness for a few minutes trying to find the cause of the noise. I was just starting to annoyed with myself for my lack of understanding when I recognized it, Alice's cell phone!

She had left it in my room yesterday after showing me her new wallpaper, her and Jasper at a theme park. I ran over to the phone and grabbed it, I was still too sleep fogged to realize that answering a vampires cell phone might not be the best idea.

"Hello?" There was a sharp intake of breath on the other line then silence. Well, that was rude.

"Hello, Cullen resiance how may I help you." Who ever this was, they were starting to annoy me.

"Hello, Isabella... This is Edward." It was my turn to gasp. What was Edward doing calling me! Oh, yeah... Alice's phone, now I felt stupid.

"Umm, hi Edward, I guess you wanted to talk to Alice?" There was a hum on the other end, it was enough of a 'yes' for me though.

"Sorry she's not available right now, I'll tell her you called though." I was about to hang up when I heard his desperate voice on the other end.

"Wait! Bella, no!" Huh? What could have possibly happened to make him act this way?

"Isabella, please don't hang up! I, I need someone to talk to." What in the world? He sounded so desperate, like the world was against him.

"Sure I guess, but please just call me Bella." I heard a relived sigh on the other side.

"OK, Bella then. So, how has your day been?" Small talk, okay. A little awkward but I wasn't about to complain, I could use someone to talk to as well. Alice would have been nice but she was currently mauling her brother.

"Not the best, yours docent sound like it was very good either." I wasn't one to change the subject but he didn't need to know about my terrible day.

"Really, what happened to make it 'not the best?'" Great, darn indestructible vampires.

"Do you want the long list or the short one?" I heard a melodic laugh come from his end, I loved that laugh. What! Get a hold of yourself Bella!

"The long one please, I'm trying to distract myself." I knew an opportunity when I saw it.

"Distract you from what?" I must have said it too fast or something because he started laughing again.

"Nice try, Bella. Now how was your day?" I sighed oh well the best way to get this over with was as fast as I could.

"All right Edward, I can see your not going to be sidetracked so lets get this over with." I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts.

"OK, so first of all your family is crazy and as proof your kitchen is flooded." Another laugh.

"As for today I got stuck in a tree, I almost got feed a poisonous pie and I had to put away groceries with your deranged sister and her overeager brother." He was trying very hard to hold back his laugher, I had to give him points for that.

"Bella, it sounds like your quite a danger magnet. First you meet me, then you find every way possible to get yourself in trouble. I'm surprised your still in one piece." He chuckled again.

"Is that all that happened?" I got quiet, should I tell him about the fight? What could it hurt?

"Well, no. Jasper and Emmett kind of got into a fight." There was a sharp intake of breath.

"Bella are you OK!?" The concern in his voice made me jump. Why did he care so much?

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just hope Emmett, Jasper and Alice will be all right." Alice! I had forgotten all about her! She was so small Emmett could crush her!

"Don't worry about them Bella, vampires are almost indestructible." Almost.

"Almost?" He got quiet.

"We cant be killed by a little fight Bella. Besides they never really fight, they get into little skirmishes all the time. Their playing." I remembered the way Alice had sunk her fangs into Emmett's shoulder.

"I dont know about that Edward." He chuckled.

"Trust me Bella, they were playing. But are you sure your OK?" He sounded like if I said anything other than 'yes' he would be on the first plane home.

"I'm fine Edward, really. I'm just tired." It was quiet again.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to keep you awake. Good bye." I could tell he was about to hang up the phone. For some reason I really didn't want this, it must be because I was so tired.

"Wait, Edward!" My voice was meet with dial tone, he had hung up while I was thinking. Great, these things always happen to me. I sighed and closed the cell phone, I'd make sure to tell Alice tomorrow that he had called.

I tossed the phone onto a pile of my clothes and rolled over on the bed. It was time for the human to sleep.



I hung up the phone and sighed, what was getting into me? I felt, 'something,' towards this human, and I didn't understand what it could be. I needed to talk to Alice but if she was busy playing with Emmett she wouldn't be available for a while.

I felt a sudden odd sense of anger at my sister for scaring Bella. This was getting out of hand. I made my way out of the ally and towards a casino. It had taken most of the night to run there but I had reached the richer section of India. It was time for me to earn my bread, an expression of course.

There was a riot outside the casino, just more of my odd bad luck. I didn't let it bother me I just pushed past the sweaty, greasy, frenzying humans. I didn't loose any articles of clothing this time so I considered it a change for the better.

I opened the shining glass doors and steeped into the air conditioned Casino, ah, this was better. The lights and sound calmed me, reminding me of my days spent with my brothers in Vegas.

I thought of the time Jasper had been caught cheating at blackjack with a fond smile. We had ended up spending a very boring night in jail while we pretended to sleep. I made my way over to the poker table while I allowed myself to get pulled into another memory.

Emmett and I had gone to a theme park after a night of craps and roulette. We had staggered around pretending to be drunk while people around us laughed and took pictures. We ended up in a fountain on the property of our hotel, Emmett had been singing the Oscar Myers song at the top of his lungs.

The hotel had called the cops on us and we spent the rest of the night ducking and running throughout the lighted city hiding from them. We never let them get too close but we were almost always within sight. Those were the good times, before all this human nonsense.

I wished my brothers were with me now, but that wasn't possible. I sighed and sat down at a poker table, it had a very nice chair a textured pattern and done in velvet. I settled myself and tapped into the minds of those around me.

Their thoughts weren't very entertaining but I focused on them as I laid down my chips. I had found some money on the street earlier, right before attempting another call to my family.

That had been the only good thing that had happened to me since I had been here, except for the phone call to Bella. I shook myself, I needed to concentrate. The guy next to me had two, two's the guy across from him had nothing worth any value. ( A/N: I warn you all now I have no earthly idea of how poker works. I'm, as they say, winging it.)

The girl on my right had three jacks, great. I sat back in my seat and played my cards, not particularly good ones. After five minutes of nothing but bad luck I stopped trying not to think of Bella, I needed some kind of distraction from my bad luck. What was the deal with her? Why did she make me feel like this?

I picked up a new hand and found that I had pulled a royal flush. I concealed my smile, maybe my luck was changing after all.


Not my best at all but still, tell what did you think? Give me in a review and maybe I'll update sooner.

On another note: OMG!! 99 reviews! I cant believe it, I love you guys! -Gives everyone rainbows, cookies and soft, fluffy, shinny things.