Life is Everything
Word Count: 793 words
Summary: I can't really say, because it would be SPOILERY!
Spoiler Warning: MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR EXIT WOUNDS!! Enter at your own risk.
Characters: Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper, The rest of Torchwood near the end.
Rating: PG-13 for angst.
She knew it was too late for them to do anything, but she held on for dear life, praying to anyone who would listen that he would get out all right.
"Besides you've saved my back so many times…right from the moment I joined…" Something in his voice made Tosh nostalgic.
"Second week…I had to cover for you, pretend I was a medic, because you were hung over and unreachable…"
She heard the smile in his voice this time, when he reminded her of the space pig. She wasn't sure if it was the delirium, or the sound of him so comfortingly close in her ear, but she could feel herself drifting into the past. She struggled to keep up with the here and now, when they had these precious moments to themselves.
"We never did get that date, did we? We always seemed to miss each other…It was all my fault. I never noticed until it was too late…"
Sadness crept into their world, and she knew he wouldn't have too much longer before that coolant flooded the chamber. When he said "I'm sorry," she knew he meant "I love you". He knew it too, so when she replied that she was sorry too, he knew that she forgave him for being such an ass over the years, for all the things he'd put her through, whether he realized the pain she was in or not. All was right between them, and he could die in peace, knowing that she had loved him to the end. She could rest easy, knowing that he loved her in return.
And everything was going to change, she knew it would. Nothing would ever be the same without Owen, but she would be okay, because she had her friends to get her through.
The warning alarm started to blare.
"It's starting…" he said quietly.
"Owen," she whispered, unable to hold back the tears.
"It's all right… Really Tosh, it's all right…" He told her, and she could hear the serenity in his tone. He was going to be gone, but he didn't want her to worry and grieve for too long. He may be dying alone in that room, but he wasn't the lonely little boy he'd once been. He was a man, whole and broken, at war with his own existence, but totally at peace with his life.
"Oh god…" He murmured, and Tosh cried out his name one last time… then she turned to see his life sign on the radar flare and go out. Tosh allowed her mind to slide down along with her spirit. She knew she was dying, and she hoped that the others had gotten out safely, but there wasn't any room to worry left. Owen had taught her something in those last few moments. Death was not something to be afraid of. She wouldn't recover from the bullet wound. She knew this would be it for her, and she gave up trying to stop it. She wasn't giving up, she was allowing the pain to erase her sadness. She relaxed her clenched muscles. Owen had moved on, and so could she. Now that she didn't need to try to keep him alive, she found a peace within herself, and let it roll over her.
"Toshiko!" Jack was calling out for her, and she heard the anxiety that was so evident in him when he yelled for Gwen.
Ianto worried about Owen and the nuclear plant, but Tosh just looked up into Jack's eyes, and smiled. Her peacefulness blocked out the sound of Gwen's urgent pleas, and then the sobs that followed…
Tosh let go, and knew that now the people she loved were safe, she could truly move on. She loved them, and she thought that they might meet again someday, for all the talk of darkness after death.
As she felt herself slide away from them, she looked up into Jack's face again, and knew that he could see how much she loved them in her eyes…
And slowly, more slowly than she had ever thought, Toshiko drifted downward, toward something or nothing, moving in the direction that she couldn't discern, but it no longer mattered.
Toshiko Sato was laid out in her finest that day, in a white plastic bag that had been filled with the delicate flowers that she had loved so much. She had lived a full, if too short, life, but had learned more than any other person could have. And though she had passed on from their lives, she would always be in their hearts.
Life was everything, but sometimes dying for the people you love was more important.
In loving memory of Toshiko Sato; Computer Expert, Friend, and Lover.
Rest in peace