/All human/I gawked at the boy walking through the door. The girls swooned at the sight of him. I froze. It couldn't be him. He turned, his eyes met mine. It was. And he was headed right for me. Him. I hate Edward Cullen. /I hate everything about you./
A/N: I AM NOT DEAD! But, I really need to work on my updating skills.
So, after a five month hiatus, I am back.
This chapter took a while for me to put it up, mostly because I had a lack of inspiration to work it, and because I wasn't sure what exactly to put in this chapter. My updates aren't very rapid or anything, but…
I've also realized that most of this chapter is a flashback, pretty much showing what happened in the past between Edward and Bella, and how they all became friends.
Anyway, I can't think of much to say, and I'm pretty sure that a lot of people skip over the A/N's, so I'll just cut it short here.
'Born Like This' by Three Days Grace
You try your best to mock me
You're always in my way
You've lost what you've been given
You'll get it back today
The time is right to change this
To make the life we know
They took what we were given
We want it back again
Ch. 6: Give, Take, and Take Again
Jacob snored lightly from where he was sprawled out on the couch, his russet face buried in the faded pillows. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees as I watched my brother-like friend sleep. I made up stupid equations in my head as he let out a gargled snore, burying his head further into the pillows.
Jacob plus me equals awkward relationship.
Me minus Jacob equals depression over losing a childhood friend.
Jacob plus me minus Edward minus depression plus use of lost kidney equals rather strange and insane situation that had no real relevance.
I shook my head, closing my eyes. I was giving myself a headache. Whatever I had just been trying to figure out obviously had no logical solution, so why bother? Just because I had Jacob and his family didn't mean I had a family of my own. Even if Jacob and I were together, would I ever be truly happy?
If I was with Jacob – no offense to him in anyway- he would be a replacement for what I wanted, what I needed. The one thing I now wanted more than anything in the world at this exact moment. Something I wouldn't be able to live without for the rest of my life.
I wanted Edward.
Of course, that also sounded pathetic, because hadn't I just told him to never come near me last night?
I slumped against the recliner as I had the day before. Had I been so stupid as to tell off the only non-related person I'd probably ever love? Was I so twisted as to tell him I hated his guts?
I truly wanted to cry at the moment. To break into uncontrollable angry tears that would wash away the agony and pain acquired by being in love with the boy I still hated until I was numb and unfeeling. Was I even truly human; being able to cause and inflict such horrible heartache and misery on the man who only wanted to apologize for his mistakes? I stiffened, now full of determination and fury.
No. He was the one who hurt me, almost more so than the other man had. Edward hadn't even set foot near the hospital I had been condemned to in all the three weeks I resided there. Would it have been so hard to drop by for even five minutes at the latest, or even settling for a quick phone call just to say hello and how are you doing? I would even have discussed the dismal weather if that were what it would have taken to get him to speak to me.
And then my return to social life! Everyone else had flocked around me, telling me which flowers and cards they sent, asking me how I was doing, and that they were sorry about my father. I'd been more of an unnoticed wallflower before, and suddenly after being shot I was everyone's best friend! I was invited to all the summer parties, included in plans, opinion being asked, even being called late at night with boyfriend issues!
I was sucked into a world I wanted no part of, and hadn't even appreciated the crowd before I was accepted into it. The Cullens and Hales had been good friends of mine before hand, and were always my back-up when I didn't want to journey to someone's parents' summer home, or attend whichever party was being thrown.
I grew up with Alice and her brothers by my side along with Jacob and his sisters, growing up as friends, watching one another change and mature. Jacob and I had made mud-pies together, Edward and Emmett burying themselves in mud to see who could get the dirtiest, Alice watching over all of us like a mother hen, later being brought into the fray by the four of us. Rachel and Rebecca, being older than us, lingered on the sidelines, treating injuries and often joining us.
The three Black children never talked about their mother Sarah much, Rachel refusing to do so, Rebecca barely offering much about her, and Jacob fairly clueless, being fairly young when she had passed.
We were quiet for months on end following her funeral, not quite as loud and obnoxious as we had once been before. I remembered watching Rachel fold in on herself, a mask to society as she silently grieved for her mother. Rebecca had told her little brother and us all about her mother, how beautiful she though she was, things she used to tell them, how amazing her cooking was, and how Billy was normally kept away from the kitchen because he lacked the proper tools of the trade for culinary skills.
I remembered how Jacob would look up at his sister with wide childish eyes eagerly filled with curiosity. Now that his mother was gone his sisters had taken her place, and the rest of us were always there for back-up.
The Hale twins moved to town with their parents a few months later, not far from where I now lived. The empty moving truck had just pulled away when the Cullen children and I were walking up, the two identical siblings standing on the front stoop to their new home as we started up the walk, voices of what we assumed to be their parents drifting to the outdoor air. I noticed how the girl has immediately grabbed her brother's hand, pulling him behind her in a defensive manner.
His eyes were a gray color, his expression hinted that he was much more of the philosopher in the duo, preferring to read and actually think and discuss things rather than the arrogant and disproving vibe I received from his sister. She put her small hands on her thin hips, her eyes narrowing defensively as we approached them on the walkway.
"Who are you?" She snapped in all of her seven-year-old glory. This caused us to backpedal, not expecting her to bark at us. Alice cringed, not sure of how to react. Emmett and Edward flanked us girls while Jacob stood to my side, the five-year-old grabbing my head in fear. The boy standing behind his sister poked around her, taking her arm.
"Be nice Rosie. I don't think they're gonna hurt us." The blonde girl glared at the boy, pulling away from him.
"Fine. But I'm telling mom." She said, turning on her heel and pushing her way into the fairly sizable house. The boy watched his sister walk away and sighed, shaking his head.
"Sorry about her." He said, sounding much more mature than he was for his age. He smiled the clump of us, still unsure of what to think of his sister. He leapt off the stoop, coming toward us to introduce himself. He extended his hand formally, still smiling. "Hi, I'm Jasper."
"Alice." The little girl shouted abruptly, clutching his hand and shaking his entire body. "I'm sure we're gonna be best friends!" Jasper nodded uncertainly, taking Edward's hand, who merely said his name and nodded before Jasper went to shake hands with Emmett.
"I'm Emmett. You hurt my sister or my friends, I hurt you." Emmett said. Though he was barely older and taller than the rest of us he'd still decided that he was the toughest, and as so it was his duty to defend us.
"Um, good to know." Jasper replied, obviously not sure what to think or how to respond. He turned over to Jacob, looking down at the wide-eyed little boy. "Hello."
Jacob stared at Jasper's extended hand as if it were diseased, refusing to touch it. He shifted his gaze from the hand to its owner, staring blankly at him. Jasper's brow furrowed and he withdrew his hand, choosing to then wave as a form of greeting.
"He doesn't talk to a lot of people." I said, giving Jacob's hand a reassuring squeeze as I explained. "Jake's kinda shy."
Jasper nodded at this, smiling wryly at the young Indian boy. He looked back at me, as if expecting me to say my name.
"I'm Bella," I offered, reaching out with my hand until he grasped it, shaking it.
"Well hello Bella," He said, smiling sincerely. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward clench his hands into fists, almost glaring at the new boy with jealously. I hadn't truly understood it at the time. "It's nice to meet all of you."
"You too." I said, taking my hand back.
The following week we all began second grade, Jasper's sister eventually introducing herself as Rosalie, assimilating into our renegade band of friends. At first she was slightly cold and defensive, later showing her fun and humorous side at Edward's birthday party at the end of the year, joking that as it was his birthday I was subjected to giving him a birthday kiss. It was a simple peck on the cheek, but it took a good hour for our faces to go from beet red to our normal pale features.
The rest of elementary school passed by without much event, only birthday parties and slumber parties –many of which the boys had to be banned form.
As I grew closer to the Hales and Cullens I had the guilty feeling of pushing Jake out of my life, desperately wishing that he could be included in some of our events, only to start hanging out with the other kids at the reservation such as Embry and Quil, along with an older boy named Sam and his friend Jared. There were two other girls named Emily and Leah, but I was never sure if I was jealous about them being around Jacob so much or not. Then again, Emily was nearly three years or so older than him, so I didn't have much to worry about there. Leah was another story…
Jasper Hale became my best friend and confidante on the days I couldn't see Jacob and Edward was just too Edward. We both liked a lot of the same books starting middle school, having many of our classes together.
Jasper Hale was also my first crush, something Edward didn't seem too happy about.
But I honestly didn't care.
By either a cruel twist of fate, or a stroke of luck, Jasper Hale also became my first kiss.
Alice had decided that in late July before we started high school we were going to have a huge slumber party, in which the boys would be included. After watching a few movies on their new TV three times the size of my head and pulling any and all food out of the cupboards and finding a stash of highly caffeinated soda Alice pulled all of the pillows and blankets onto the floor, ordering us all the form a circle. We'd been reluctant at first but she put her foot down, making us all plop down on the floor quickly.
She'd chosen the dread game of Truth or Dare, initiating it by asking Rosalie the truth about her hair color. Having proven that it was truly blonde she turned to me, asking if I wanted Truth or Dare.
In all honest I probably should have gone without the dare, as I would much rather have put a plunger on my head or sing about foods like Emmett had, but I just couldn't go with Truth.
I couldn't tell them how I had a crush on Jasper, that I secretly collected Beanie Babies and had them stuffed in my closet, or even how I a Clay Aiken poster until I tore it down because I couldn't stand it anymore and I'd only liked the one song Alice had played by him at my birthday.
The truth has never been my friend.
"Isabella Marie Swan," Rosalie began, looking at my mischievously, causing me to shift uncomfortably. "I dare you…" She drew it out, attempting to create suspense. I was waiting for my heart to burst from beating so hard that I barely even heard what she said. By the time it registered I had nearly keeled over.
"To kiss Jasper."
I swear I felt the world stop. Granted, I did have a crush on Jasper at the time, but really, his sister? Did she have to do that? And what about our friends? It would have been bad enough for me to confess it to Jasper in private, but here? With everyone watching? But I had to do it. It was a dare after all, and my pride was at stake.
I got on my knees and leaned forward awkwardly, never having kissed a boy before. This is for you Clay. I muttered in my head, leaning toward Jasper, who in turn glared at his sister, making me feel that he honestly did not want to do this.
But that was fine. If he didn't want to then I wasn't going to. I didn't need him! So what if I was slightly insulted! Pfft!
Rosalie was going to seriously maim me if I didn't though, I knew that much.
With slight reluctance now I continued to lean toward him.
"Um," I began; my face now inches from his. "So…"
"Yeah…" He replied, now looking at me and not his sister, ignoring the daggers glared at him by someone else in the room.
"Oh my god, it's not a tea party!" Alice said, throwing her hands up in the air; Rosalie rolling her eyes. "Just kiss him and get it over with."
And so I did.
My lips gently brushed his as I squeezed my eyes shut, neither of us looking at one another. I won't lie and say I hated it, as it was honestly one of the greatest things I'd ever experienced. I pulled away quickly, averting my gaze and wishing my face didn't feel so hot. My lips tingled, and I tried to maintain my dignity, forfeiting my turn and completely ignoring the rest of the game. I tried not to notice how Jasper would glance over at me often, his face slightly pink.
"So Edward, you say truth…" Emmett mused, rubbing his chin with his hand thoughtfully. "Hmmm… Let me see…" Edward looked up at the ceiling in annoyance, folding his arms while he waited for his brother to speak. A light bulb seemed to flash in Emmett's mind. "Aha! When Bella kissed Jasper, did that bother you?"
The entire room fell so silent you could hear our hearts beat. All eyes turned to Edward, who gaped at us, clearly debating the best reply. I bit my lip, not sure what I wanted him to say at the time.
"Of course not!" He yelled, then bringing down his tone to avoid waking his parents. "I don't care who she kisses, it's only Bella! She's my best friend! She can kiss whoever she wants to! I don't want to kiss her! I never have and I never will!" There was still more so silence following this outburst. I was the first to break it.
"You don't care?" I whispered, my voice wavering. 'It's only Bella!'
Edward blinked at me. "What?"
"It's just Bella, it doesn't matter." My eyes narrowed at him. "She can go get hit by a bus, but as long as she doesn't die, I don't care. Maybe I will kiss Jasper again!" Jasper raised an eyebrow, surprised at suddenly being brought into this conversation. 'I don't want to kiss her! I never have and I never will!'
"Well…" Edward was shaking his head, obviously not knowing what to say. "I-I didn't mean it like that. I mean, if you did get hit by a bus-"
I glared at him.
"No, let me re-phrase that." He said defensively, the other looking back and forth between us as we bantered.
"You don't have to. Just forget it. I don't care." I said, suddenly defensive, still hearing 'It's only Bella!' and 'I don't want to kiss her! I never have and never will!' still ringing in my ears. "Let's just do something else for a while."
There was quiet murmuring as we disbanded for bed, me making sure that I was as far away from Edward as possible. He tried apologizing numerous times as a movie was turned on half an hour later because no could sleep, but I merely brushed him off. He didn't care, so what?
I eventually forgave him a short while after school started, but still felt hurt at what he'd said. We slowly became best friends again, yet it was different because of the night that I'd kissed Jasper Hale on a dare.
Jasper was the one that asked me if I wanted to go to the dance. Our friends didn't seem all that bothered by it. (Later we both agreed that it had just been a bit too weird for the both of us, and that it would be more comfortable if we were just friends.) Emmett had asked Rosalie to the homecoming dance that year, and the two have been a couple ever since. I'd gone with Jasper that year, and Alice and Edward awkwardly standing on the sidelines, Edward chivalrously agreeing to dance with his sister every few songs.
Half way through sophomore year Edward and I became even better friends and he slowly became the one that I would always turn to. It was during mid-terms actually, and I had been busy studying when he'd called and asked if I was free. I blatantly told him no, but he was free to come study if he felt the need to.
That was the first time I'd kissed him. Not to be mean, but it was hundred times better than the time I'd kissed Jasper. (Again, it was actually pecks on the cheek I ever gave him after the dare. It was too weird otherwise. I'd never actually been all that happy in a relationship with Jasper. Edward was the only one I could truly see myself with.)
There was no actual tension, and I wasn't at all clumsy or afraid when he kissed me. He'll always say that he was the one who initiated it, but I always thought that we just so happened to lean forward at the same time.
He quickly apologized, as if uncertain of what I was going to do. I shook my head and smiled reassuringly, telling him it was fine before I kissed him again. Needless to say I hadn't gotten much studying done that afternoon.
We were given a week off for February break, and I was invited by Alice to join her and the others at a party they were going to attend, despite the fact that the host hadn't said they wanted me there.
Edward and I had never actually told anyone about that fact that we'd kissed, deciding to keep it low key to see if anything would happen. At lunch he would begin to place him arm over my shoulders, always catching himself and dropping his arm with a sigh.
I guess someone could say at the party was the first time we'd ever gone public, openly showing the fact that we were a couple by holding one another's hands and dancing to a few songs. I had a feeling that the fact that I kissed him made it all the more obvious.
We were together for quite a while, and I remember feeling like I was on Cloud 9 the entire time.
The feeling only increased when he told me he loved me.
I replied feeling the same way, living in pure bliss until Charlie flew down to Phoenix to check on my grandmother, initially leaving me in Forks with Renee. But I protested, and eventually I was able to go down to see the two, my mother being trapped in Forks at the hospital, unable to catch a break and go down to visit her mother.
That's when all hell broke loose and the one time I needed Edward the most he wasn't there.
A/N: Okay, was that a long flashback or what?
Reading over this I noticed how Edward's character seemed to fluctuate, going from being weird young jealous boy to weird boyfriend teenage guy. But whatever. He gets better when he's not in flashback mode.
And I'm sure that the hospital staff would be more lenient and let Renee go visit her ill mother, but this works out better for the sake of this story. (Actually, after having checked the beginning of New MoonI found that Gran died when Bella was eleven. I'm sure I'll go back and edit this later, fixing the story to something else. Until then, this is what it is.)
Kind of beside the point though, but here's Chapter Six for you finally.
I'm trying to get back into the writing fanfic mode, but it's not as easy as I originally thought it would be.
Thanks for reading though, and feel free to comment!