The usual I don't own or profit from this, ect.

This is a little dark to begin with. I promise only happy endings.

Chuck vs The CIA Assassin

"I'm must say again Director, I don't recommend that Agent Walker see Bartowski." Robert Carson was the psychiatrist in charge of Sarah Walker's case.

"It's been nine weeks, Dr. Carson. I cannot afford to have Walker benched indefinitely."

"Director, Bartowski is the reason why she is in this nearly catatonic state. She believes she killed him and has mentally shut herself off from the rest of the world. She could not live with the successful completion of her orders."

John Casey and Chuck Bartowski waited outside the CIA Psychiatrist's office. Chuck was nervous. He wanted to see Sarah but was also hesitant, even afraid. He knew she had pulled the trigger and that her aim was true. If not for Casey suspecting the hit order and making sure Chuck wore a protective vest, he would be dead now.

Chuck closed his eyes and replayed the scene for the millionth time. He was in his bedroom and turned around to see Sarah, gun drawn and aiming right at his chest. They locked eyes right before he felt the awful pain. He knew she was going to kill him from the look in her eyes. He also saw that it would kill her as well.

Chuck knew that the look shared between them lasted only a fraction of a second but he saw her apologize for what she had to do. He saw the fear in her eyes but could not tell if it was fear of pulling the trigger or fear of not pulling the trigger. He saw the moisture form around her eyes. Then he saw what hurt him the most. Her eyes told him she could not go on living after having done this.

He felt so sorry for her. If he would have had time he would have told her it would be OK.

Casey told him afterwards that Sarah crumpled to the floor. She tried to raise the gun to her own head but that he got there in time to prevent it. She kept repeating in a little girl voice, "I love you, Chuck. I love you, Chuck."

Chuck had not been allowed to see Sarah. The doctors thought that her grasp on reality was too precarious at the moment. She still believed that she had killed him, to see him walk through her secured cell door may push her right back to square one.

As for Chuck, ten weeks ago he would have bet his life that Sarah Walker would fight to the death to protect him. He would have been right. He just did not know that she would follow all orders no mater how difficult they may be. It was an unavoidable certainty now that when ordered to kill him…she would. It made him realize that although he thought he knew her, he did not.

But, he…still…loved her.

"Casey, how do you love someone that's just put a bullet through your heart, or at least tried to?" Chuck asked the question without looking at Casey.


Just when Chuck was resigned not to get a response, Casey said, "If I tried to explain to you what Walker has gone through to become one of the top agents for the CIA, you couldn't grasp it. You haven't seen men torture, murder and rape people just to get a bit of information or for no reason at all. Hell, Walker's seen a whole village massacred, every man, woman and child just because they would not disclose her location. That does something to you. You don't come back from that. The person you know is Sarah Walker, your protector. You don't know the countless other Sarah Walkers. Assassin, blackmailer, manipulator, adulterer, thief and anything else she has to be to complete her mission."

"Look," he continued. "She didn't know the orders were fake and that fulcrum had planned the whole thing to get rid of the intersect. How could she have? There could be a million reasons that order went out. Her job is not to question. An agent follows orders, period."

At that moment the CIA doctor and director came out of the doctor's office.

"Well Mr. Bartowski, I'm going to let you see her but only briefly . We'll see how she does."

Ten minutes later Chuck was escorted through Sarah's door by Dr. Carson. Sarah was asleep. The doctor asked Chuck to stand next to him at the side of the bed.

"Sarah, can you wake up? I've got someone that wants to see you." He waited for her to open her eyes. He held his breath until he saw her reaction.

Sarah's eyes slowly opened and were focused on the doctor. Chuck saw her realization that someone was with the him. She slowly moved her vision from the doctor to Chuck.

Her eyes grew wide and the confusion apparent upon her countenance. Chuck watched her eyes fill with tears and then overflow.

"Is this a reaction to the drugs?" She asked.

"No, Sarah. This is real. Chuck Bartowski is alive. You did not kill him. He's right here."

She turned her face away from Chuck. "Is it true?" She was speaking to Chuck. Wanting to hear his voice.

"Sarah, it's true. I'm right here."

She continued to look away from him. "Please leave, I can't take this. I can't take anymore."

"Mr. Bartowski, maybe it's better if you leave."

"Sarah, it's OK. Just get better. I need you back." Chuck was fumbling with his words as we walked out of the room.

"She's in bad shape, Director Graham," Casey said as they watched Sarah through a two way mirror, wailing at the top of her lungs and thrashing at her restraints. "I can't make out what she's saying."

Just then Dr. Carson entered the small observation room. "She's saying, 'Forgive me'."