Authors Note: Yessir. I'm back. Ta-Daaa, & all that jazz. Okie, so basicly I felt bad that I wasn't really "updating" anything because I've still been working on a secret project that will come out eventually that only my editor knows about (sharon, you lucky fiend), so I decided to grace you all with another oneshot. I like this one. I think its cute and finally a story that is not based on Sasuke and Sakura. So here you go, I love you all, and enjoy my friends.
Dedication: this one's for allurement, because she like just dedicated a story to me, and she's amazing and it was her stories that really inspired me to write this one. She's a pretty spiffy kid, man. & an ahhhhh-mazing writer. I want her children. lmffao, I kid, I kid... maby. looool.
Summary:"I'm not ready for this," he sighs. "Not ready for what?" he responds. "You know... fatherhood and junk."
Editor:I honestly think I would die without Roses of Sharon. She is god, wrapped up in a nice little asian bun. lmffao, ilu.
"... Holy shit, man."
"I mean, she's like, in there, and crap. Like, right now."
"And I'm like, right here. Like, now."
"I mean, like, it went by so friggin' fast, man."
"... Should I be in there with her? Like, I am the-"
"Would you just shut up, Minato? Mikoto's with her, she'll be fine. And it's not even that big of a deal, anyways," he sighs, rocking the baby in his arms a little faster.
"... What the hell? Dude, she's giving birth for kami's sake! I'm about to become a you-know-what for the very first time, dammit! How is this not a big deal?" The Other shrieks, traces of yellow hair being yanked from his scalp in the process.
He gives a skeptic look, "You're blowing this way out of proportion, you know. It's a baby. You decided to have yourself a little 'romp' with her, she got fat, she's carried the thing around for nine months, and now here we are. She pushes it out, you become a father, and we all go home. The end."
The Other snorts, "Yeah, I'm so sure it was that simple for you."
He puffs out his chest a bit, "Of course it was. I'm an Uchiha."
The Other raises his bright blond eyebrow.
"Yeah, okay buddy. Don't think I don't remember when Itachi was born. You almost shit your pants."
He pauses, red flashing dangerously in his dark eyes.
"Would you be quiet, Minato? I don't want my sons picking up on your foul language," he hisses, gesturing over to the sleeping little boy sitting beside him and the small baby cradled in his arms.
The Other smirks, "You just don't want your kids knowing how much of a dipshit their father is."
"Okay, okay, jeez... Calm yourself, man. We're in a friggin' hospital. We don't need more people dying... Gosh..."
The soft sounds of footsteps in the distant halls, the quiet shuffling of the few others sitting in the waiting room, the pattering of Minato's feet as they make a fast rhythm on the floor.
The air, thick with tension.
The small baby in Fugaku's arms is fast asleep, along with his brother, whose head rests gently on his father's arm. Minato sits opposite them, hands clutching tightly to the arms of the hard, plastic hospital chairs. His eyes can't help but stare at the father and his sons in desperation.
"... I'm too young for this."
"Yeah, I know you already had two of them."
"Yo, man, do you think she's pushing it out yet?"
"It probably hurts... Ha, thank kami we don't have to go through that shit."
"She's probably gonna be pissed when she gets out."
"... Oh my god... What if she leaves me when it's over?"
"She totally could!"
"Yeah, she is that kind of woman. She almost castrated me for not buying her that chocolate chip mint ice cream with ramen and carrots last week, she could totally leave me for making her go through... you know, labor and whatnot," The Other argues, worry and panic flashing through his eyes.
He rolls his eyes, annoied, "Mikoto didn't leave me, and she had to do this twice."
"Yeeeeah, but Mikoto's different," The Other whines.
"... How is she any different? They are both women, they both have vaginas. They might as well be one and the same," he states, as it it were the most obvious answer he could muster.
"Um, ew, didn't need to hear that, thanks. And, uh, yeah, Mikoto is so different from Kushina. She doesn't yell as loud as Kushina does and she's nice and talks softly and doesn't call me a moron and makes good sandwiches," The Other staits, throwing a missplaced peice of blond hair out of his eye.
His dark eyebrow arches, "...What does my wife's sandwich-making skills have to do with the situation that you are presently being faced with?"
The Other is bewilded, "Everything, man! Believe it."
After a moment's pause, realization dawns onto the agitated blond boy.
"... Holy shit."
"... Dude, what if it doesn't like ramen. Then what am I supposed to do?"
A frustrated sigh escaped the dark haired mans lips, "Who cares if it doesn't like ramen?"
A look of complete astonishment mars The Others face, "What. The. Hell? What in the name of god do you mean by that?"
"You can feed it other things besides ramen, Minato. The day I see a baby living solely off of that stuff like you do is the day the Uchiha clan ends," He sarcastically remarks.
"Whats wrong with living off of ramen? That shit's amazing," The Other added, seriously.
"Everything is wrong with living off of ramen. Take a look at yourself. You've lived off of ramen your whole life and look what kind of an idiot you turned out to be," He smirks back.
"Then if I'm such an idiot, how did I become the Hokage, smartass?"
He pauses, contimplaiting a thought, before answering, "Sheer dumb luck."
The Other grits his teeth, "Ok then, Uchiha. I see how it is... Then what do you suggest I feed it if it doesn't like ramen, huh?"
He clicks his tongue, annoied, "... You feed it tomatoes, abviously."
The Other stares.
"That shit's nasty."
"Like, nasty like your face-type nasty."
"... My god, what if it does end up liking tomatoes?"
"I'll have to let those foul things into my house."
"And then it might come out like a completely stoic, cold-hearted bastard and then-"
"MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING MOOOOOOOORON. THIS IS ALLLLLLL YOUR FAULT!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The blond was cut off by the loud, shrilling voice of a woman inside the room down the hall only a
few feet away from the room he was in himself.
The Other froze stone cold. Every bone in his body was completely non-fuctional, his heart beat having stopped, his breathing almost non-existent. Before he could so much as re-gain his posture, five women came rushing down the hall, one of them with long, coral pink hair tied in a neat pony tail and the other styling two long, blond pig tails with a pig itself trailing after her.
Quickly snapping back into action, the exasperated boy jumps up from his chair and latched onto the blond woman's arm.
"Tsunade-baa-chan, is Kushina okay?" The Other asks, excitement and panic lacing his voice.
The blond haired woman gave an annoyed look, "Would you calm down, you idiot? Your girlfriends going into labor, she's not okay. If you would just sit down for a minute and-"
"Tsunade-sama!" called back the pink woman called, latching onto the older woman's free arm, "Uzumaki-san is almost there! The baby is crowning, its time for it to come out!"
The blond looks back at the pinkette and nods before returning her gaze to the jumping boy, "Get ready, Hokage-sama, you're about to become a father."
And she disappears.
Hesitantly, the shaking young man returns back to his seat, thousands of thoughts rushing through his head all at one time. The fait echo of screams could be heard down the hall along with soft voices of the women in the room.
The Other sat. Eyes closed, head hunched over, hands laced together and supporting him on his knees. Finally, he decided to speak.
"So... She's doing it now then, right?"
"Like, she's pushing out the baby and junk..."
"... Do you think it hurts?"
"... Maybe I should be in there with her..."
"You know, for like, support and crap."
"Sooo... Its like, gonna be a baby, right?"
"... What do you think it'll be?"
"Well, Minato, when a woman gives birth she usually only concives a small baby. But, I'm sure though in your case since your just so special, you might just give birth to an adult," He quips sarcastically.
The Other, trembling, glares, "No, I didn't mean that, asshole. I meant, do you think if it a boy or a girl."
He sighs, "Well, I told you before, Minato, that if you let me use my Sharingan I could just look for you and I'd be able to tell if its a-"
"Ew, ew, ew, gross!" shrieks The Other, fear-sticken, "I don't want you peeping at my Kushina, you twat. That's so nasty. Friggin' pervert."
"... Excuse me?" He demands, "I am an Uchiha. Uchiha's do not peep at other women and Uchiha's are certainly not perverts. I have my own wife, thank you."
"I'm so sure, temee... So, what do you think it'll be?"
He snorts, "I already told you, I could just go in there and-"
"No, you stooge. I mean, like, make a speculation," The Other corrects, annoyed.
"... Fine... a... a...a girl? ...Maybe? I don't know. This is stupid."
"A girl?! Dude, you've got to be kidding me."
"I kid you not, idiot. There is a fifty percent chance that the child could come out as a-"
"DON'T EVEN SAY THAT!" The Other screams, sheer panick rushing through him.
"... What's the matter with you? It's just a baby girl," He questions, poised.
"... Dude, you'll jinx me, shut up. I can not have a girl. Like, the mere mention of the possibility is killing me right now." the other fristraited man answers, breaths growing quicker, "I can't handle a girl, I'll tell you that shit right now, man. Like, I can barely handle Kushina. I'll live in constant fear, I swear to god! Like, she'll grow up and there'll be boys and she'll want to wear short skirts and revealing tops and grow womanly parts and-"
"Aren't those all things you like, Minato?"
"-and then she'll get her period and there'll be boys and she'll want to start dating and I know how thoese little bastards' minds work because I used to think like that too and-"
"You still think like that, you fool."
"-she'll go out and not listen to me and get raped and then she'll get pregnant and I'll have to kill a lot of people and there'll be boys and-"
"Well, if she's anything like you, Minato, rest assured that you won't have to worry about boys and pregnancies," He idly puts.
The Other pauses in his hyperventilation, "... And just what the hell is that supposed to mean, Fugaku?"
"Nothing, nothing... You're right though, having a girl is unethical."
"The idea itself is wrong."
"Completely out of the question."
The Other man clames down, gathering himself togeather again, before giving his companion a serious look.
"Okay then, its settled. I'm having a boy. Not a girl. Boys can do absolutely no wrong in life."
"Agreed," He nodds, wisesly, "Women are the cause of our societys fall in economy. That's why I had all boys', girls are simply too much of a hassle."
The Other questioningly quirks an eyebrow, "Don't say that like it was you who made sure you had all boys. You didn't have any control, over the situation, you just got lucky."
He smriks, darkly, michieviousness and pride masking his face, "Yes, I did. I'm an Uchiha."
"... How the fuck did you do that?"
"... There are ways, Minato, of... insuring the success of having a male."
"... And just what exactly are you insinuating, Fugaku-temee?"
"... You know what I mean... There are special ways."
A short pause, and then it clicked.
"Ohhhhhhh! You mean you did those special positions to make sure you-"
"Mother fu-... Would you just shut up, imbecile? You're so loud that I have no doubt in my mind that the people in Wave Country could hear you!" He hisses, the harshness of his voice almost waking the small baby bundled in his arms.
The Other man, jokingly, raised his hands up in his defense, foxy smile crossing his lips, "Sorry man, jeez. Didn't mean to almost spill the Uchiha super special techniques..."
He clicks his tongue togeather, aggrivaited.
The Other, impishly giggles to himself, "So... do you think you could teach me?"
Red eyes snap wide, "What the fuck did you just-"
A final long, loud scream.
And then, gradually, the soft whailing cries of a newborn baby.
And the door snapped open, the pink-haired woman rushing out once again. Still in her bloodstained uniform, she peels off dirtied gloves, hastily rushing over to the two sitting men and smiling brightly.
"The delivery was successful, Hokage-sama. I'm very happy to say that Ms. Uzumaki gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, baby boy,"announced the giddy pink-haired woman.
Minato opens his mouth to answer, but before the blond boy could so much as get a word out more cries were heard from inside the delivery room. As soon as she had gotten there, the pink-haired woman disappeared back into the white room, slamming the door behind her.
Tension hung suspended in the air.
Neither of them dared speak. Not yet.
Finally, Minato opened his mouth.
"... I can't believe this."
"T-this... This can't be real..."
"A... a b-boy?"
"... You know whose fault this is, don't you?"
"Yeah, it is. If he hadn't written all of them crappy porno's and then force me to read them, none of this junk would have happened."
"...Oi, Fugaku... What if it ends up hating me?"
"You know..." Minato, squeaks, his sky blue eyes downcast to the floor,"...What if... What if he hates me?"
"It won't hate you, dumbass,"
"Yeah... Yeah it could... I mean, like, what if I turn out to be a bad father? What if I'm not there for him when he needs me, you know? What if... What if I mess up, if I do somthing wrong and it ends up hating me forever?"
"Well, you'll have Kushina there and she probably won't let you do anything stupid with it until-"
"You know what I meant," Minato shot back, quietly.
"... Well, that's what it's all about, isn't it?" Fugaku put in carefully, soothingly patting his younger son's sleeping head.
"Isn't that all about what?"
"You know... Fatherhood. That's what its all about. You making mistakes, the kid making mistakes... Getting into fights, making up... Learning from each other... That kinda stuff..."
Minato was silent, his eyes never leaving the picture of Fugaku sitting there with his one son in his arms, the other sleeping peacefully at his side.
"... You just... You just learn to forgive each other... To love each other... No matter what the consequences are."
"Gosh, temee, I didn't know you were so deep."
There was a short silence between the two, a silence unlike the others that they had shared before. This one... This one was of comfort, brotherhood and understanding.
Fugaku got up, careful not to wake his older son or disturb the baby in his arms.
"Don't you think its time... time to see your kid?"
Minato got up slowly, his eyes still casted downward, "I don't know... do you think I'm ready?"
Fugaku stared long and hard at him.
Minato paused for a moment befor releasing a soft, gentle smile.
He walks out of the waiting room, making his way down the hall and finally stopping in front of the door which the baby wails and cries were coming from. His hand rested on the doorknob for a long time: hesitant as to whether or not her should twist it open.
Still not looking back, Minato spoke one last time to his best friend.
"So... Is it worth it?"
Fugaku turn to look at him, head cocked to the side, "Is what worth it?"
"You know... Being a dad... Is it worth it?"
Fugaku thought for a moment before turning his line of vision down to his sleeping son. A soft, nearly invisible smile presented itself on his lips, something that only few people had ever seen.
He knew his answer.
"I don't know... When you come out of there, why don't you tell me what you think?"
Minato smiled, then opened the door swiftly and walked inside.
After the door had shut, Fugaku was perfectly ready to go back with his first born son and wait until his wife was ready to leave, but before he could so much as make a move to leave, the door snapped back opened. Quick as lightning, a flash of black hair whipped out of the room and then quickly shut the door behind her.
Turning around, Fugaku was graced with the sight of his wife. Tired, blood-shot eyes, pale skin, hair in disarray. Clothes covered in unmentionable things, posture hunched over and an aura of exhaustion.
Fugaku still thought she was beautiful.
A soft smile broke onto her lips when the young woman heard the baby's cries stop. Gently, she walked over to her husband and child, carefully removing the baby from his hold and beginning to rock it softly in her arms.
"...Hn?" Fugaku asks, knowing full well that his wife knew exactly what he was trying to say.
She flashes a smile.
"Oh, Fugaku-kun, she delivered beautifully! The baby was healthy and perfect, I was crying as much as I did when Itachi and Sasuke were born. I think he looks like Minato," she cooed quietly, careful not to wake her sleeping son.
"Fugaku-kun!" Mikoto gasps, her eyes hard and scolding.
Mikoto seethes for a moment, then goes to a more cheerful mood almost immediately afterwards.
"...Anyway, I think they'll do fine, don't you?"
"... Yeah, the dobe and his woman will do fine."
"...I remembered Kushina saying something about... Saying something about if it was a boy, Minato wanted to name it Naruto," Mikoto put idly.
"Naruto? Isn't that that stuff inside of-"
"Ramen, yes," Mikoto finishes, "But... But I think its fitting, don't you? Jiraiya-sama thought of the name in one of thoes books of his."
Mikoto raises an eyebrow, dissmissing her husbands comment, "Maybe he'll be friends with Sasuke... Wouldn't that be nice? Just like the two of you are."
"And Dr. Haruno in there was telling me that she gave birth to a lovely baby girl a few months ago too... Hmm, isn't that something? Her name is Sakura, such a cute little thing, I saw all the pictures," Mikoto giggles, going on and on about things her husband was probably not even listening to.
"Maybe she'll make friends with Sasuke and Naruto too..."
Mikoto giggles mischievously, "Hehe... Maybe... If she ends up looking anything like her mother, little Sakura will end up making both Naruto and my Sasu-chan fall head over heels in lover with her... Hehe, wouldn't that be simply adorable?"
Eye's widening, the words she said finally register full inside of his head.
"... an Uchiha does not marry a woman with pink hair. For goodness sake, think of their children, Mikoto. The clan will be made into a laughing stalk."
Mikoto glares, playfully, "Shut up. I think it would be cute."
Fugaku arches his distinguished brow "Uchiha's are not-"
"Yes they are. Just look at you, my sweety weety Fugaku-kun."
Fugaku sighs, thankful that there were no unwanted ears around to hear what his wife had said or see the faint pink blush tracing his cheeks.
Mikoto walks over to Itachi, patting his head gently before kissing his forehead. Looking deeply at her baby boy and then back at her oldest, the young Uchiha smiles to herself.
"... I think they'll make great parents. Kushina... She... I'd never seen her so happy before in my life, and Minato... Minato's a good guy, stupid at times, but a good guy... He'll make a great father, don't you think?"
Fugaku turns his back to her to gather up their sleeping five year old first born in his arms and prepare to leave the hospital. Looking into the window of the baby room, the Uchiha was greeted with the sight of his best friend sitting on the edge of a bed, holding a small, blond, baby boy in his arms, a tired red-head holding onto his hand.
It was unlike Fugaku to read into things too deeply, but the Sharingan-wielder could sware that he saw tears in his Hokage's eyes.
"Hn... Yes, the dobe will be fine."