What You Can See Is Not Always What It Seems To Be

To Become Your Light

Fandom: Katekyou Hitman Reborn

Genre: Drama/Friendship/Romance (AU)

Pairing: main Yamamoto x Tsuna, slight everyone x Tsuna

Rating: T/15+

Summary: Ever since saving Irie and losing his sight some years ago, Tsuna can see things more than when he still had his sight. He can see things about people around him that can't be seen by mere eyes, and his friends find the warmest place beside him….

A/N: Well, I am just trying to make series of this KHR fandom now. This story will goes start from Shouichi Irie till later become Yamamoto/Tsuna. It can be friendship-shounen ai-till yaoi. There will be many pairings, but like I said above, the main pair here is Yama/Tsuna, but I will also mention the others such as Reborn, Xanxus, Lambo, Gokudera, Hibari, Dino, Mukuro, and Ryohei. Their feelings towards Tsuna will be close to love, but…let's save that for the later chapters. Anyway, hope you like this story as well! XP

Disclaimer: KHR belongs to Amano Akira

Warning: some foul language, shounen ai—yaoi (everyone x Tsuna), AU (some of characters have different ages from its actual story, and Tsuna is not Vongola boss here even if there will be mafia also in this story, and he's not a coward in this story

Chapter 1: The Beginning and Shouichi Irie

This can't be true…

That was the thing Sawada Tsunayoshi, who was familiarly called dame-Tsuna(1), a small fourteen year old, short light brown haired boy who had warm beautiful light soil-colored eyes, a second year student of Namimori junior high school, could think when he woke up from his sleep. Or rather…when did he fall asleep? He could not even remember. And why the heck was it so dark? He couldn't see anything around him.

Wait—, wait a minute, Tsuna…. You can't panic at a time like this. Ok, try to remember what actually happens. Umm…sometimes ago, I…

Tsuna began to remember. Some hours ago…he was taking a walk from his home to the park because he had had enough with the piles of homework from his school. He just wanted to take a break for awhile before he would finish them later. However, that day was surprisingly hot and suddenly he carved of an ice cream.

Tsuna changed his direction from the park to an ice cream shop. On the way to the shop, he saw a boy with thick glasses, seeming younger than him a year or two—he was not sure, walking while reading a thick text book.

Hmm…kid these days study hard, eh….

Tsuna thought while smiling fondly. He was not a type of person who liked study, so sometimes he adored anyone who liked increasing his knowledge intentionally. He wished he was able to become like that, so he would not embarrass his father who worked in other nation and his mother who always encouraged him that he could be whatever he wanted if he studied and struggled hard enough.

Still, he didn't think he could do any of that. Tsuna was the easy-going type of person who would be happy enough as long as he could live peacefully and happily everyday. He never had any high ambition like being a successful doctor or a prestigious politician. As long as he could live without basic-life problems, it would be enough.

Well, it was his dream to marry Sasagawa Kyoko, though…but it was still far, and he would not have a high expectation on that because he realized that he only a mere junior high school student who couldn't do anything rightly without being a hindrance to his other friends, while Sasagawa Kyoko was an idol in his class, no, his school.

Still, he would try to speak his feeling to the girl. Who knew what would happen in the future anyway? No one knew if you didn't try, right?

A sound of siren from a car surprised Tsuna and brought him back from his train of thought. Tsuna looked at the traffic light and he cursed slowly under his breath as he realized that he had missed the green light while he was drowned in his own thought, spacing out earlier.

Tsuna sighed and scratched his messy hair grumpily while waiting for the light turning to green again when he saw a ball whirling to the middle of the street.


Tsuna's eyes were caught by the ball, following it, and then suddenly the boy from before appeared in Tsuna's field of vision, running at the ball at the same time as a red sport car entering his other field of vision.


Instantly, Tsuna's body moved on its own accord. He didn't know why he did that. He was not a type of person who would sacrifice himself for strangers actually. Still, he could think one thing though…that he would definitely regret it for the rest of his life unless he followed his instinct to move.

Tsuna jumped to the middle of the road, ignoring the red light, ignoring the scream that warned him to get away, and ignoring the car's siren that seemed shrieking in his hearing. Well, he honestly couldn't hear them actually because he focused on one thing only. He had to save that child from being hit by the red car.

And then…and then…what?

Tsuna had come back from his flash back thought. Honestly, he could only remember until that part. After that…he was not sure. He only saw a blinding light as soon as he hugged the kid and he lost all his consciousness after that.

Umm…assuming from what happened before…I think the car hit me after all. Speaking of that…, actually my body and my head hurt a lot right now…ouch…! I must have been in a hospital since I smell nasty chemical fragrance and some drugs' scent…

Tsuna had just realized that he was in a hospital, plus his whole body was aching in protest. He believed he had broken at least two or three bones. Tsuna sighed and closed his eyes.


And he realized. How the hell did he know that he closed his eyes? He couldn't even see anything. This room was too dark for its own good. At least there should have been a little light even if it was night, right?

Tsuna tried to move a little. He still could feel his arms and legs even if they're rather numb right now—drug's effect, he guessed.

Anyway, I know that my wounds aren't that bad.

Tsuna thought rather positively while sighing. Now if he could see his own hand, he would be able to move a little to reach the calling button. Anyone would do. He needed to talk to someone to brighten his room a little…

Then he heard a sound of door being opened.


Tsuna was confused. From the sound of the door, it should have come from in front of him. However, even if he narrowed his eyes, he didn't see anything in front of his eyes. It was pitch-black. Tsuna started panicking when a horrible thought suddenly flashed on his head.

Wait a sec…! Why can't I see the light coming from the door? It is a freaking hospital, right? There's no way that the hospital would turn off every light in its building—even in the corridor! Then…why can't I see anything?


Tsuna heard his mother's voice. "Mom?" Tsuna called his mother slowly in hoarse voice. He had just realized that it was the first time he spoke out his voice after regaining his consciousness. All this time he only thought inside his head. He was surprised when he heard his own voice. Oh, how hoarse and croaky it was, as if it weren't his.

"Tsu-kun! Oh thank god, you've regained conscious!" Nana said with the tone of joy and relief. Still, even if Tsuna could tell she was standing in front of him because he could hear her voice there, he couldn't see her!

This is ridiculous…why can't I see anything? Am I wearing bandage on my eyes?

Tsuna thought, rather panicked while his mother, Nana, began to ramble about how careless he was for being hit by the car, or how heroic he was for saving a kid's live and such.

Heck, Tsuna didn't care about them right now as he tried to move more…at least he could move his hands and he touched his face. He could feel the skin there. He could tell there's banded cotton on his cheek, seeming covering the wound under it. He could also tell that there's a bandage on his nose. Still…on his eyes—Tsuna touched the tip of his eye. His eyes were opened. He was sure they were opened because it hurt when he touched it with his finger.

Now Tsuna's fear rose on the surface of his expression.

"What's wrong Tsu-kun? Your face is pale. Do you feel sick?" Nana's rambling stopped and she asked Tsuna in soft voice, but it just increased Tsuna's fear.

"Mom…, are you in front of me right now?" Tsuna asked suddenly in trembling voice.

"What are you saying, Tsu-kun? Of course I am," Nana said in rather confused tone.


Tsuna laughed inside his head absentmindedly. "Mom…what time is it?" Tsuna asked suddenly.

"Why are you asking something like that? It's 1 p.m. Tsu-kun. Lunch will come soon," Nana answered in happy tone for having his son back from his coma.

This is a lie right?

"Then…is the curtain closed, or am I in a basement or something?" Tsuna kept asking questions that didn't make any sense, slightly worrying Nana.

"Tsu-kun, are you still sleep-talking? How can you be in a basement? This is inside a hospital's room, and no, the window isn't closed. Look at the beautiful willow tree outside, Tsu-kun! Today will be very lively, you know!" the young mother said in really cheery tone with her usual carefree attitude.

"Mom…," Tsuna called his mother again in low voice. Nana noticed the tremor on Tsuna's voice and turned her face at her beloved son.

"What is it, Tsu-kun?" she asked as she noticed that her son's face was beyond pale now, rather worriedly.

"I'm afraid…I can't see you anywhere in my sight right now," Tsuna said in a super panicked look.

"Eh…?" Nana asked in unsure tone, seeming unable to catch.

"I said…I can't see you right now even if I am not in a basement but in a freaking normal hospital room; the window is freaking open; and the summer sun is shining freaking brightly through it!" Tsuna covered his cheeks while widening his eyes in horror as he shouted his concern.

There's a complete silence after Tsuna spoke out his anxiety. Two minute passed before in the end Nana could digest the newly new information and shout, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!" in a really shocked face.


"Hmm…it seems he hit his head quite hard…. Part of his brain is damaged," the doctor said in front of Tsuna and his mother in troubled expression while looking at the result of a CT-scan and a photo roentgen.

"Sensei(2), will my son's sight come back to be normal again?" Nana asked in full concerned tone as she hugged Tsuna's head on her neck while stroking Tsuna's hair softly, as if she were trying to assure Tsuna that everything would be alright.

"Yeah, is my sight going to be normal again, sensei?" asked Tsuna nervously, following his mother. He was really worried if his eyes would never be normal again.

The doctor was silent for awhile…which Tsuna assumed that he was doubtful. "I can't say it surely," the doctor said eventually, really in doubtful voice. "Usually, if the wound was on his eyes, it could be healed by transplanting the corneas, or if the loosing sight was caused by a shock psychologically, it would be returning to be normal again gradually…, but in this case…," the doctor was being silent again.

"What is it, sensei?" Tsuna asked again, wanting to know yet not wanting to know at the same time. Somehow…he could guess what the doctor would say. Somehow…silently he had prepared inside his heart for the worst case he would even face.

"The damage on brain will not be easily healed," said the doctor. "The only thing we can do is waiting some miracles if by chance it can heal itself...or a brain surgery might help, but...the chance of getting recovered is low, and brain surgery isn't allowed in Japan, so...," the doctor tried to explain what they could do to Tsuna's eyes, but it seemed nothing good would come even if they did those suggestion. "...moreover, brain surgery in German is extremely expensive. It will not be easy to pay the bill," he continued slowly, thoughtfully.

Oh, God…

Tsuna thought silently as he closed his eyes, scared.

"I am sorry…we can't help you in this case," the doctor said in really regretful tone.

"No way…!" Nana said while hugging Tsuna's body tightly. She, who usually was really cheery and carefree, now was crying sadly while hugging Tsuna's slender body.

Tsuna felt regretful. He had made his mother cry. He had lost his sight. Of course it was also regretful, but it couldn't be helped since he was too reckless. However, making his mother cry was another thing. It was truly heart-breaking and should have never happened. Even though he had lost his sight, he should never have made Nana cry.

Tsuna hugged his mother's body back tightly while closing his eyes which were unable to see anymore. He could tell that Nana was crying because her body was trembling and hot, and he could feel his mother's warm tears falling on his back. Her hic-cups were also heard between the incoherent words escaping from her soft pink lips, still trying to assure Tsuna even if she was the one who needed assuring most.

They stayed hugging each other for awhile longer before Tsuna decided that he would cheer her up. "Mom," he called Nana slowly while soothing Nana's back. Nana didn't say anything to respond to his calling, but she clutched Tsuna's clothes more tightly than before while still hic-cupping. "Mom…please don't cry. I'm fine," Tsuna said again, now a bit braver and stronger.

Nana loosened her hug from Tsuna and then released him while looking at Tsuna's soft smiling face in still teary eyes. "Look," the brown haired boy said in now cheery smile. "I am fine. It's only my sight that is gone. I can still live even if I can't see. Moreover, without my sight, I can improve my other senses to the extreme! I probably can wake up the sixth sense inside my mind and become a successful fortune teller!" Tsuna continued now grinning and laughing jokingly with his true smile.

Yeah, Tsuna never used a fake smile. Even if right now his circumstance was really horrible, he could still grasp a little hope inside his heart. Once in a life-time, he wanted to be optimistic like Yamamoto, one of his classmates who became a star in baseball and was genius in every sport, even if he was so bad at academic lessons such as math and other subjects, not that Tsuna was good on any of it. He was even much worse than Yamamoto actually, plus he couldn't do any sport.

Remembering about Yamamoto made Tsuna giggle. "Don't worry, Mom," said Tsuna happily. "Everything would be fine. I will do my best from now on at everything I can do. I believe I can do anything as long as I struggle hard, right?" Tsuna said while raising his thumb to his mother in confident expression.

Loosing his sight would never turn his light off. Even if Tsuna was nothing to strangers, his mother and father loved him and made him be their sun. Even if it was only for the two of them, Tsuna would do anything he could to shine on them. He lost nothing, really. He still had his light. It was his family's love which always shone on his path and on his life.

"Tsu-kun…," Nana sighed in still a worried but somehow relieved face. At least, knowing that his son still could laugh cheerily like that relieved her a bit.

"As long as Mom and Dad are there for me, I can still move forward. I promise I will not disappoint you two, even if that old man isn't right here now…. Jeez—, that old man, not even coming home hearing his son injured," Tsuna muttered his last sentence in annoyance under his breath.

Nana chuckled when she heard Tsuna's muttering. She giggled slowly and then heartily while Tsuna laughed at that as well. The doctor who saw all the events smiled small in a relieved face. It was a good thing that this family was strong psychologically—that was the doctor thought.

"Ah," suddenly the doctor remembered something, interrupting happy-family-time Tsuna had with his mom.

"What is it, sensei?" asked Tsuna noticing the doctor's surprised tone.

"It's regarding the kid you'd saved," the doctor began.

"Oh, yeah!" the cute browned haired boy shouted, having just remembered about that as well. "How about the kid; is he ok? He wasn't injured, was he?" Tsuna asked, rather concernedly.

"No, he's not. It was only scratches," the doctor said, smiling, fond of Tsuna's kind heart.

"Oh, thank God," Tsuna said, relieved. The doctor smiled even more widely. He was happy that there's still a really good person like Tsuna.

"Oh yeah, Irie-kun said he would go visit you today," the doctor said again.

"Irie?" Tsuna asked wonderingly who Irie was.

"Ah, you didn't know? Irie Shouichi, it's the kid's name, Sawada-kun,"

"Oh! I have just known that…," Tsuna punched his palm in understanding face. "Heheh…guess I have to be more considerable to my surrounding," he continued while scratching his cheek sheepishly.

"I think, you-who intentionally save a complete stranger from danger is indeed an unusual feature, but…you're so kind. That makes me admire you, Sawada-kun," the doctor said again softly, and somehow Tsuna knew that he was smiling gently right now. Tsuna grinned again at that, a bit blushing for getting a flattering praise from the doctor.

"Umm, excuse me," someone knocked at the door, making Tsuna, Nana, and the doctor in Tsuna's room turned their faces at whoever it was.

"Oh, Irie-kun," the doctor seemed knowing him.

Irie…it's the kid I saved yesterday.

Tsuna smiled in a relief as he heard his voice. Even if it was not so cheerful, his voice somehow showed that he was healthy.

"Sensei…ah, Sawada-san's mama, good afternoon," the small Irie greeted them both politely in full respect while bending his head. "I am sorry for troubling you at a time like this, but…I really like to see Sawada-san…," he said, a bit embarrassed while fidgeting nervously.

"Welcome, Irie-kun," Nana said while smiling friendly at Irie. No sign of grudge for making her beloved Tsuna get injured was displayed on her clear brown eyes.

Irie blushed lightly for being treated so well. "Ah, thank you," he said in a happy look, face rather pink for being embarrassed. Irie came inside Tsuna's room and seated himself beside Nana. "Umm…how are you, Sawada-san?" Irie asked Tsuna nervously. "Umm, ah, my name is Irie Shouichi, sorry for being late to introduce my name," he continued, rather panicked.

Tsuna giggled when he heard that and made Irie blush even more red. "Heheh, you no need to be so formal to me, Irie-kun," Tsuna said while scratching his cheek again, even if now he was smiling friendly. "You can call me Tsuna," he continued.

Irie's face brightened. "Thank you, Tsuna-san!" Irie said happily, like an elementary kid. Nana and the doctor smiled as well.

"Then, we will let you talk. I need to talk about something more to the mother though," the doctor said suddenly.

"Oh, of course," Nana responded to him and stood. "Well, then, Tsu-kun, I'll be back later," she said while kissing Tsuna's forehead. Tsuna blushed a bit, being treated like a kid, but he would not protest since he had made his mother cry earlier. At least he could only make his mom happy if he let her show her concern. "Then, Irie-kun, take care of Tsuna for awhile," she continued and smiled once again to Irie.

"Ah, ye-yes!" the boy responded to it, stuttering a bit stiffly, being entrusted Tsuna's wellbeing when she was not around.

"Jeez, mom…," Tsuna smiled again while sweat dropping.

Ah, well…at least the boy became more cheerful.

Tsuna thought silently in soft smile. Even if he couldn't see this Irie boy, he could tell that the boy became more spirited after coming to see him. He could tell because Irie's voice showed that cheerful tone.

"Is your injury getting better?" the smaller boy asked suddenly after Nana and he doctor left them alone.

"Well, yeah, my body sill hurts though…but it's getting better," Tsuna answered.

"Umm…," Irie began again. "I am sorry," he said suddenly, surprising Tsuna.

"Why are you apologizing?" Tsuna asked, unable to understand this boy's action.

"You're hurt because of me," the boy replied apologetically. "I should have been more careful," he continued, really in regretful tone.

Tsuna sighed and smiled small. "It is not your fault," he said softly. "After all, I rescued you knowing well about the consequence. It was my own choice, so you don't have to feel responsible for what happened," he continued.

"Still, if only I had been more careful, you would not have been forced to save me…," the smaller boy whimpered a bit.

"Don't be fool. No one knew what would happen to you, not even yourself, so it was not your fault," Tsuna said again. "Cheer up! If you're down like this, I will be mad, you know!" Tsuna said seriously, but the he smiled again.

"Tsuna-san…," Irie sighed slowly, rather relieved. "Thank you," he continued again while closing his eyes.

"Irie-kun, how old are you?" Suddenly Tsuna asked, changing the subject as he didn't like the heavy atmosphere as well as wanted to know more about the boy he had saved.

"This year I turn 12, but now I am still 11," the boy answered. "What about you, Tsuna-san?" he asked back.

"Ah, this October I turned 14," Tsuna answered back. "Are you in junior high school?" Tsuna asked again.

"No, I'll become one after spring next year," he said.

"You're still in elementary school then. Heeh, I saw you reading a thick difficult book yesterday before I saved you even though you're still a kid. Do you aim to favorite junior high school?" Tsuna asked again.

"Yeah, I want to go to Namimori Junior High School," Irie said while blushing.

"Whoah, that's my school!" Tsuna claimed cheerily. "Wah, I am so happy that my school is considered as a favorite school. Then we will be senpai(3) and kouhai(4) next year!" Tsuna said happily.

"Yeah, it will be really wonderful if we can," Irie said in happy smile. However then, Tsuna realized that he had said something stupid. He couldn't attend his school anymore, right? He had lost his sight. He had to drop out from his current school and maybe his mom would get him a home tutor to teach him things as he had to be used to doing things without rely on his sight anymore.

Tsuna sweat dropped when he thought about that. He knew it would not be easy to do.

"By the way," Irie began again suddenly. "Why don't you look at my face when we talk?" he asked really wonderingly since Tsuna had his face be at other direction from Irie's face.

"Eh?" Tsuna sweat dropped again. "Ah, sorry, Irie-kun, where are you? Is it on my right side?" Tsuna asked while turning his face to the right.

"Eh…I am in your left…why are you asking like that?" Irie asked again in a confused look after answering Tsuna's question.

"Haha, sorry," Tsuna turned his face at Irie's direction, but his eyes still were not seeing him. "Well, seems the hit on my head was quite hard and some parts of my brain were damaged. I can't see anything right now," Tsuna said while grinning sheepishly.

"Eh—!?" Irie was really shocked when he heard that. "Your—, your eyes—!?" he covered his mouth, still really shocked as the tears began to fill his eyes.

"Err…what's wrong, Irie-kun?" Tsuna asked slowly, unsurely because he couldn't see him, and suddenly the boy stopped talking at all. "Ah, I know. Is it about the senpai-kouhai earlier? You must be confused right? True, I forgot that I will drop out soon from school because of my eyes. Well, we still can be friends even if it isn't at school, right? It will not be much different," Tsuna said again while grinning sheepishly. However, Irie still didn't respond to him, worrying him a bit.

"Umm, Irie-kun?" Tsuna called the boy again slowly until he heard the hic-cup and the whimper.

Ah…, he's crying…

Tsuna thought guiltily as he realized that.

"I-I am sorry…, I am re-really sorry…, Tsuna-san…!" Irie stuttered and cried hard after that, tears falling from his eyes unstoppably, wetting his glasses and his soft cheeks.

Tsuna sighed again and then reached his hands to Irie's direction, trying to find the boy's body. Then he felt that he touched the boy's hair. He traced his fingers from his head to his face, found the glasses and took it off from him.

"Don't cry…," Tsuna whispered softly as he used his thumbs to slowly wipe the tears from the tip of Irie's eyes and his cheeks. "I save you not because I want to make you cry," he continued while bringing the smaller boy's face closely to his. "I want you to live happily in future, and if sacrificing these eyes can save your life, I will not mind it at all." Tsuna then closed his eyes, putting his forehead on Irie's while smiling softly. "If you promise me to live happily from now on and be my close friend and family, I will consider that as a payment for saving your life," Tsuna opened his eyes again now, looking straightly and surely at Irie's even thought he couldn't see anything.

Irie was fascinated by the look on Tsuna's face. There's no sign of doubt, light of fire in his eyes even if he couldn't see. Irie knew that this person didn't lose his radiance. Tsuna was strong, and Irie believed that this person would become stronger even more.

"Tsuna-san…," Irie closed his eyes, and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I promise," he said while smiling bitterly.

If Tsuna-san loses his sight then…I will become his eyes and do what I can do to become his strength.

Silently, Irie made an oath to himself that he would always be by his side, protecting him. He himself would become stronger, so he could protect this dear person to him well with all of his body and his heart….

End of Chapter 1


(1) Dame-Tsuna: Tsuna's nickname; literally meaning useless-Tsuna because of his inability to do anything right and his loser personality

(2) Sensei: how people address a person with certain tittle such as: author, doctor, teacher, etc; literally meaning teacher

(3) Senpai: an older person in academic field; how to address an older person in academic field

(4) Kouhai: a younger person in academic field

A/N: Well, this is the first chapter. How do you think? Not many pairings? Well, it's still the first chapter, so you can't expect me to make any pairing here, though…Tsuna-Irie moment is quite sweet 'giggles'. Please be kind and leave some reviews, ne! That purple button down there looks lonely if you don't push them, don't you think? 'Grins.'

I welcome your idea if you want to give me ideas of how Tsuna will meet and be close to the others, k? Oh yeah, because it is AU story, don't expect me to make any battles in it 'laughs', just joking. Anyway, thanks for reading. See you again in next chapter!

With Love,