Max: This is so disgusting... Severus/Filch... (Pukes) I was looking at fanfiction and I accidentally read one... And this popped into my head... IT WOULDN'T GO AWAY!! (Dies) Please! (Begs loyal readers) Don't kill me for this!! I SWEAR! This is the only one of this pairing I shall ever write!! I'm gonna have nightmares... Please read and review! And believe me! I WILL ACCEPT FLAMES FOR THIS STORY!! FLAME TO YOUR LITTLE HEARTS CONTENT!!

Warning: YAOI! Severus Snape/Argus Filch, Severus Snape/Harry Potter, Mentions of MPreg!

Disclaimer:I do not own Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Argus Filch or anyone from that world. I simply own this disturbing plot bunny... Oo I doubt it would be this disturbing if it was Sevvy/Lucius... Ooooo Sevvy/Lucius... (Drools)

ALSO: Beta'd by my dear boyfriend Alex! (BlueCrow24) I WUV JOO HUN! :)


Distorted

Argus Filch was sitting silently on a ratty old desk in the front of the Potions classroom. The thing was covered in scratches from students pressing down just a bit too hard on their assignments, and burn marks from failed potions. The rest of the room wasn't very different from that small desk; the walls had yet to be cleaned from the classes earlier in the day, stickiness caused by the many explosions due to the incompetence of many of the students. 'I'll have to clean this' he lamented with a cringe.

The slight squeaking of a door tore Argus from his musings. Idly thinking, 'I should fix that…' he lifted his head in the direction of the disturbance, noting the tall dark form of the feared Potions Professor. He gave a slight nod of acknowledgement as the other man stepped forward, his robes flowing gently behind him. Argus had yet to move when the man suddenly stopped directly in front of him. He knew what was coming, and yet, he refused to protest.

Severus leaned down and pressed his dry lips roughly against his own. The younger mans tongue snaking past his slightly parted lips. Argus leaned forward slightly, a soft moan escaping his lips when Severus began to undo his trousers, pushing them down past his knees, letting them drop to the floor. Calloused old fingers reached up and began to do the same to the younger man, the dark trousers dropping next to his own, leaving Severus in only his top and robe.

Argus spread his legs farther apart, allowing Severus to step closer, their erections rubbing together, causing both to moan happily. This was as far as they would go, neither wanting more from the other then this simple pleasure. Neither needing more then the simple touches. They would both reach their ends soon, no words would be spoken.

Argus quickly put his clothes on, his eyes shifting to look at Severus who had finished dressing. He could say for a fact that they were not physically attracted to one another, they were merely alike in certain aspects of their lives. They both knew what the other craved, and were able to willingly give it. Even if the younger man was married.

Argus glanced at Severus one last time before quickly walking to the door. He reached his hand out to open it, but was nearly whacked in the face as Professor Harry Potter walked in. He glared silently at the young teacher and slipped out the door, letting it shut behind him, the hinges squeaking quietly. He could hear the voices of Severus and Harry as he walked down the hall.

"So Severus, how was your day?" Harry asked happily.

Severus grunted, annoyed, "Uneventful as always brat."

Harry pouted playfully, "Is that anyway to talk to your pregnant husband Sevvy?"

Argus thought, amused,'If only Mr. Potter-Snape knew what went on in that room everyday before he arrived.'

"Some things are not always how they seem to others who are not involved in the situation. What may seem to be a silent calculating look may be laced with hidden desires. Though, for this particular situation, things are merely distorted from the truth."

Max:Please review lovies! I know it was really bad but... I promise I'll make it up to you! .

Lovies,

Mr. Max