Title: Little Too Late
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Warnings: Character Death
Summary: Sometimes you come to realize things when it is a little too late to change any of it and you are forced to live with your regrets... SLASH!
Disclaimer: All Known Characters belong Tolkien, I'm just borrowing them.
Little Too Late
As I stand on the wall of Helm's Deep I can't help, but glance in Legolas' direction. He refuses to look my way however even though I am sure he is aware of my stare. I didn't expect him to lock eyes with me though anyway. Even though we may have made our peace long before now in my heart I know he is still upset and with good reason.
Our brief argument keeps replaying in my mind and I have to wonder if what he said is justifiable. I understand how he could fear this upcoming battle, but yet at the same time I guess I always expected that out of everyone he would be the one to maintain a level head and not cave under the pressure of uncertainty.
In that brief argument however he managed to prove me wrong and I must admit I didn't know how to deal with it. This battle has everyone on edge, including myself, and when Legolas expressed his doubts and obvious fears... I lashed out. I know now that he probably needed me, needed comfort and reassurance. There is no time to offer that now, but if he would just look at me maybe I could provide this with my eyes.
Alas it seems as though it is not meant to be for he is intent on avoiding any and all eye contact with me. Who knows maybe in the long run it is better that way, he needs to keep his focus on the upcoming battle and doesn't need to be looking at me... it would only manage to distract him.
Still as I wait for the fast approaching battle I think back on our argument and I wonder if there was a better way I could have handled the whole situation.
Legolas looks at me with a hardened expression and all I can do is stare back at him with troubled eyes.
"Look at them, they're frightened. I can see it in their eyes."
He begins to pace now and all I can do is follow his movement with my gaze, listening to what is passing through his lips.
"And they should be..." He is now speaking in his tongue and I am glad I learned elvish for this conversation would be difficult other wise. "Three hundred... against ten thousand!"
I glance around at the others within the room who are watching us, knowing we are having an argument, even though they cannot understand a word we are saying.
Thinking of a response I return my gaze to Legolas and in elvish reply, "They have more hope of defending themselves here than at Edoras..."
"Aragorn." He interrupts me with intense, defiant eyes. "They cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!"
At this statement I lose all self control, screaming in my language for all to understand. "Then I shall die as one of them!"
Once this is said all becomes silent and Legolas just stares at me with what I can only describe as hurt within his eyes, I have never raised my voice to him before and I cannot say I feel all that good about it.
I can no longer stand to look into those eyes of his without feeling ashamed so I turn and walk away. I can feel his eyes upon my back, but I do not turn back... I have to get away.
Later on after that altercation he apologized and I told him that there was nothing to forgive, not once did I apologize for yelling at him and that could very well be why he won't look at me now. In my head I promise to make it up to him once this battle is over, when I have more time to say what needs to be said... make sure he believes every word.
Before I even realize it the battle has begun and I have little time to prepare myself for it. Instantly I throw myself into the fight and slash my sword into the first orc that crosses my path. Many others fall from my sword as well as I make my way through the army of them. Chancing a glance in Legolas' direction I see him releasing arrow after arrow into the surrounding orcs and once I am assured that he is alright I resume my fight.
Out of the corner of my eye I see the foul creatures placing a bomb in place at the entrance and fight my way toward the elves. It is then that I notice one of the creatures running for the entrance with a torch in hand and my eyes widen as realization sets in for what his plans are.
I fight even harder through the surrounding orcs and scream out to Legolas in elvish, catching his attention. "Bring him down, Legolas!"
Legolas aims an arrow at the foul creature and releases it. The arrow lodges itself in the creature's right shoulder, but it doesn't faulter... just continues running. Becoming panicky I scream again, "Kill him! Kill him!"
Determinedly Legolas readies another arrow and releases it, having it lodge itself into the creature's left shoulder this time. The creature almost looses his balance, but to my dismay he continues running and throws himself at the bomb. I only have a moment to be shocked by the fact that he committed suicide before a loud bang sounds and I am thrown into the air.
I land heavily on the ground and for a moment am disoriented. I am aware of movement all around me, but can't function enough to move. An Urik- hai stomps over to where I have fallen and I am sure I am about to meet my death when an arrow hits him straight between the eyes. I watch in amazement as he falls to the ground and when a hand is thrust in my line of sight I look up at Legolas in gratitude.
He helps me to my feet and once again the battle is in full swing. I cannot help, but watch Legolas in amazement as he fights with his blades... his elegance something to marvel at. I can't admire his skills for long since orcs and other foul creatures need my attention, but later I must compliment him on his fighting skills. I am sure this will bring a blush to his face, as compliments seem to do, and I consider this to be a reward... it is always a joy to bring such an emotion out of the proud elf.
I am engaged in battle with an orc when I hear a loud cry of pain from my left. Slashing the orc's throat I turn toward the sound and stare in horror as Legolas clutches at his stomach, crimson blood staining his fingers... his blood. I rush forward just as he falls to his knees and kill the offending creature that was prepared to slice his weapon into Legolas a second time. There was no way in hell I was going to allow this foul being to go in for the killing blow.
Dropping down beside Legolas I pull him into my arms and apologize softly when he winces from the movement. His eyes express his pain and I have to force myself not to look away. Gimli's voice reaches my ears and I nod my head in agreement when he suggests I take Legolas to safety. As gently as possible I pick Legolas up and rush to the King's quarters.
Thankfully we make it there safely and I lower myself to the ground, placing Legolas' head in my lap. He coughs and flinches in pain, looking up at me pleadingly. I run my hand through his beautiful blonde hair before removing his tunic and checking his wound. I frown in concern when I see that the wound is deep and look into his pain filled eyes. He just looks back at me as a calm expression overcomes his features, looking completely at ease and this worries me.
Weakly he raises his hand and takes a hold of my own, squeezing slightly. "It's alight; I know there is naught you can do. I can feel it... I am beyond saving now."
"Don't say that mellon-nin; you're going to be just fine... you'll see. Don't give up just yet, I won't let you die!" I tighten my hold on his hand as I say this.
"This is out of your hands Aragorn and you know this." He says sadly as a tear slides down his cheek and I quickly wipe it away.
"You cannot leave me Legolas, I cannot lose another friend." I say as tears begin to fill my eyes, knowing that I am about to lose him. "I shouldn't have allowed you to come on this quest, shouldn't have put you at risk."
"It was my choice Aragorn, you couldn't have stopped me. Besides..." He trails off, looking at me with expressive eyes that I cannot define. "Amin khiluva lle a' gurtha ar' thar." (I will follow you to death and beyond.)
My eyes widen when he says these words. He cannot be saying what I think he is. I think to myself in disbelief. "Lle lakwenien?" (Are you joking?)
He shakes his head with a wistful expression on his face. "Of course not mela a'mael (my beloved), I meant every word."
"Mela a'mael?" (My beloved?) I ask in disbelief and he lifts his other hand to cup my cheek tenderly.
"Amin mela lle Aragorn, gerich veleth nin an-uir." (I love you Aragorn, you have my love forever) He says sincerely and tears fill my eyes, though I am uncertain as to why.
"Legolas I don't love you I'm sorry, I wish I did, really I do." I feel terrible for saying this, but I know I cannot lie to him. Though maybe I should have, he is dying in my arms after all.
He smiles softly and shakes his head. "You may not know it yet, but you do. You do love me Aragorn, you're just too afraid to admit it and that's just as well. I only wish you happiness, please don't grieve over me."
I am baffled by these words, but decide not to argue with him on this. What would the point be anyway? It won't hurt to let him believe what he wants to. "Well in that case... amin harmuva onalle e'cormamin." (I shall treasure your gift in my heart.)
The light in his eyes brighten when he takes in these words and before I can do anything he pulls me down, crushing our lips in a passionate kiss. At first all I can do is freeze, not moving a muscle. Then as my senses slowly return to me I decide to kiss him back, pressing my mouth to his more insistently. Slowly he opens his mouth in invitation and I gladly push my tongue into the warm cavern, tasting him for the first time. I am surprised to find his taste to be sweet and exotic; I never imagined kissing a male could be like this. Never thought kissing Legolas would be such an experience.
Once air becomes an issue I pull away and stare down at Legolas in disbelief, I cannot believe I just willingly kissed him and loved it. He just looks up at me with such love in his eyes that it feels as though the look alone is consuming me. Then the moment is broken when he turns his head away as coughs wrack his body and blood escapes his mouth. My heart aches at the sight and I pull him closer to me, wrapping my arms around him. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and smiles at me somewhat sadly.
"I love you Aragorn, I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you." He says softly and I just shake my head in answer, hoping he understand what I am trying to say. "Never forget me."
I choke on a sob when these words reach my ears and I unconsciously tighten my hold on him. "That is not even possible mellon-nin (my friend), I may not love you, but you are the best friend I have ever had. I was blessed the day I met you... cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au'." (my heart shall weep until it sees thee again.)
"Cormamin lindua ele lle." (My heart sings to see thee.) He responds with a blissful smile and his body slowly becomes limp in my arms. Before his eyes close for the last time however he looks intently into my eyes and I swear I will never forget the blueness of his eyes, they will haunt me for the rest of my days.
"Namaarie mela amin." (Farewell my love.) Are his last words before his eyes close and his head rolls to the side, breathing no longer.
My lower lip trembles as I stare down at his peaceful form, tears falling from my eyes. I clutch his lithe frame to my broad body and whisper into his ear, "Namaarie (Farewell) Legolas."
- Three Days After The Final Battle -
I know I should be celebrating with everyone else for the victory we all accomplished, but I am just not in the mood. I just don't see the reason for celebrating. Legolas should be here with us, celebrating; only he is not. His funeral was beautiful, one befitting an elf such as him. They laid him to rest beneath a beautiful oak tree, a place we would love to spend eternity. Despite the beautiful funeral it just doesn't feel right to me, he shouldn't be six feet beneath the earth... he should be alive and smiling.
He is all I have been able to think about since the battle was won, even when Arwen showed up at my coronation I felt no joy at seeing her. Instead of rushing into her arms I turned away from her and left without a word. Later we spoke and decided it would be best that she left for the grey havens. I am no longer in love with her and oddly enough she understood.
Now I stand at the oak tree where Legolas was put to rest and tears are cascading down my face, I have no will to stop them. I have come to realize that Legolas was right and with this realization I have resentment for life. How could the higher beings take him away from me? What did I do to deserve such pain and torment?
Not caring that my clothing is getting dirty I lay my body on top of his final resting place and stroke the earth tenderly, my tears turning into full blown sobs. "God I miss you so much Legolas! I realize I was blind before, just please come back to me. I can't make it through life without you." I cry out and then switch to the elvish language; knowing he would appreciate it. "Amin hiraetha Legolas, mela amin. Goheno nin saes, im-boe le-sii. Le boe sint, gerich veleth nin. Amin mela lle Legolas. Tenna im ele lle au', quel kaima." (I'm sorry Legolas, my love. Forgive me please, I need you now. You need to know, you have my heart. I love you Legolas. Until I see thee again, sleep well.)
A/N: This isn't my best work, sorry to have subjected you all to this, but I figured there might be someone out there that might enjoy it. I hope it wasn't too terrible!