Here we are, at the end…

Song; 'G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T.' by Billie Piper. (ANYONE ELSE LOVE HER COS OF DOCTOR WHO?!)

"No more sittin' at home alone
While you're out with somebody else
No more staring at the phone
'Cos I can do better by myself."

Doesn't that just set a grim mood for the future of Mello and Near?


Chapter Eighteen

G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T.



Mello had learned a trick or two from Near. Mostly, the ability to swiftly and accurately slap handcuffs on. Raito discovered this with a yelp of pain, before being dragged by the chain connecting the two cuffs out of his bedroom.

This time, it was Mello's smug filling the Yagami household as he held the notebook in one hand and his criminal in the other. Feeling the need to bring him down at least a fraction, Raito hissed; "That was in my pants, you know."

Yelping, Mello dropped it, before recalling that he was wearing gloves. Fingerless, maybe, but they were still gloves. Glaring, he recovered the notebook and continued to drag Raito out the door.

"Nothing to see here," he barked at the mother and sister, before pausing to regard Sayu. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"U-um, y-yes, Misa-Misa," she stuttered, face flaming red. "B-but, I'd be willing to join in…"

"SAYU!"

Moment of guilt passed, Mello continued with his dragging. He couldn't wait to see the look on Near's face. He was so eager he didn't even notice Raito's eerie silence, or the smug smile which refused to fade.

Kira had another trick up his sleeve. This one involved Mello's idol, who liked Raito. More specifically, Raito's ass, but Japan's number-one egoist liked to believe that everyone loved him for his wonderful mass murdering self.

It made him wish he'd grabbed the bag of potato chips on the way out. After all, victory tasted like potato chips.

"Hey Mels, hey Kira," Matt greeted without unpeeling his eyes from the DS screen. "Fuckin' sharks…"

Scowling, Mello smacked him around the head with the Death Note. "Hello, I just caught Kira, can I get some praise?!"

"Good boy, have a doggie treat."

"FUCK YOU MATT!!"

"Not in front of Kira, Mels. Save it for the bedroom."

Seeing Mello stutter nonsensically made Raito sneer. He wanted to comment on how Mello was the bitch and thus the dog, but he refused to say anything until they were standing before L.

Queen of the New World? Raito pondered. It wasn't a bad thought.

The theatrics of capturing Kira was ruined by having to use the subway. Mello was probably used to ignoring strange looks, but Raito was a respectable student and future GOD OF THE NEW WORLD. Being held by a leather-clad teenage bondage slave disguised as a gothic pop princess and his game-obsessed minion was attracting blatant stares from everyone on the train.

"…Mummy, what's wrong with those boys?"

"They're gay, honey."

"Oh…"

Everything felt surreal. Mello was dressed up like Misa, holding the Death Note in a vice-grip, Matt had a hand holding Raito's upper arm to the point of bruising, and he was chained up. They had evidence that he was Kira, and Ryuk wouldn't stop cackling. Now there were children and their mothers making assumptions about the actions he and his capturers took. Were children even supposed to know about sex? That boy looked about six.

Raito sulked the entire train trip. At least he was certain that L would bail him out.


As he booted the door open, Mello felt powerful. More powerful than anything alive. Holding his head and Raito's Death Note high, he was an investigating god.

"MISA-MISA CAME TO VISIT US oh shit it's just Mello." Pausing, the childish police officer, gave a sheepish grin. "You look pretty as a girl, Mello-Mello."

For a moment, Mello had been an investigating god. Then, with those words, Matsuda ruined it.

"Mello!" Chief Yagami cried, wiping the sweat from his brow. "What is the meaning of this transsexual travesty?!"

Gritting his teeth, Mello pulled Raito away from Matt and into the room.

"Raito," the chief swallowed heavily, hands nervously twitching around each other. "Please tell me that you are not… involved with this – "

"HE'S FUCKING KIRA, YOU DUMBASS!"

"CHIEF ISN'T DUMB HE HAS SPINACH POWERS!"

Gasping, Chief Yagami cried an alarmed; "My son is having sex with Kira?!"

Even Matsuda face-palmed at that.

"No, Dad!" Raito cried, "Mello's just pinning involvement with Kira on me, he's pretending that notebook – "

"This is a Death Note," Mello announced, giving Kira a sharp kick to the groin. "I found it – "

Hair twirling in hypnotic spirals, Near padded into the room. Sending Mello an inquisitive look, he settled down on the floor and started to play with blocks. Fighting back a snarl, the blonde decided to rephrase his sentence.

"I pulled it from Raito's pants."

Atoms could be heard shifting.

"…M-Mello… y-you…"

"Yeah, I caught Kira." The attempt at casual failed; Mello reeked of smug, and he knew it. But it was damn well justified. He'd just caught Kira.

"YOU MOLESTED MY SON!!" Chief shrieked, before breaking down sobbing. "My s-son… My boy… I-I feel s-so violated…"

Spotting an opportunity, Raito nodded, collapsing into a twitching pile of crocodile tears by his father's side, howling about how awful that moment was. "H-his hand was s-so cold… C-cold as his heart, his dark, dark heart!"

Twitching, Mello almost threw the Death Note at them. "Matt has it on video, you fucking retards!"

"HE TAPED IT AND SAID HE'D TURN IT INTO PORN IF I SAID ANYTHIIIIIIIIING!!"

"A plan worthy of a moron," Near murmured.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU – "

"Guys," Matsuda piped up. His voice was filled with all the seriousness of manhood, causing every person within a hundred mile radius to freeze. Those who wouldn't hear him wondered what was wrong with themselves. "I just realised something."

"What is it, Matsuda?" Aizawa asked, hoping for some legitimate policing for once instead of cross-dressing Germans, bawling chiefs, and little kids in pyjamas playing with toys while ranting about the sins of humanity. That L wasn't much better, with his cake palaces…

Aizawa was ready to retire.

"It's been minutes," Matsuda noted darkly, "minutes since this scene started, and I haven't wet myself."

"…bravo," Aizawa groaned. Before he retired, he was giving Matsuda adult nappies and coupons for therapy.

"The fuck is he on about?"

"Matsuda's under the impression that we're all fictional characters in a story," Chief replied disapprovingly. At least he wasn't crying any more. "Currently, he believes it is being twisted by some Australian girl in her spare time."

"These kids need more homework!" Matsuda cried.

"Shut up Matsuda!"

"Yessir…"

Raito was crawling closer and closer to Mello, reaching to snatch the Death Note. Hissing, the blonde kicked him away. With a yelp for his Daddy, Raito has clearly given up on dignity. All he wanted was freedom.

"Where's L?!" he cried, glancing around wildly. "L needs to confirm this! Mello's insane! I don't even know Kira!"

"…son, everyone knows Kira."

Swallowing heavily, Raito grumbled; "L still needs to be here."

"Mello," Near started. Eyes narrowed, Mello glanced in the completely opposite direction just to prove his defiance. "I wish to see the Death Note."

"Then maybe you should've caught Kira."

Matt laughed. "Buuuurn, sheepy, burn! Make us some lamb!"

"Mello, I was – "

"I don't care, Near, you weren't doing anything, I caught Kira, quit trying to ruin my victory you spiteful bitch!"

"WHERE'S L?!"

"Try curtain number one," Matt suggested, jerking a thumb towards the nearest thick velvet drape. From under the material, pale toes wiggled with abnormal dexterity.

"Come out of the curtain, L," Chief demanded. Behind him, Matsuda was break-dancing with surprising skill to celebrate his dry pants. "We need your guidance."

As the pale detective emerged, thumb curling his lip, Mello felt his smug drain. Just laying eyes on the world's greatest detective and recognising who and what he was reminded Mello that he was a young teenage orphan whose entire life had become unnecessarily complicated thanks to one genius. Someone who would rather play with toys all day and ignore the issues of the world begging for his mind, the very same someone who could always get a wild reaction out of him, the person he simultaneously despised and adored most.

Sitting there, twirling his hair, eyes down on the floor.

Was Near pondering losing?

For once, as he surveyed the scene before his eyes, L didn't have Mello's full attention.

"Raito-kun is Kira, correct?" L questioned.

"Definitely."

Giving a thoughtful noise, L scanned the chained boy. Briefly, Mello wondered what was going through the detective's mind, before realising he'd much rather read Near's mind. He didn't want to be tossed aside like last year's toy, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle that, and if he could maybe pre-empt it with the contents of that demon's mind…

"Raito-kun is not Kira," L concluded, nibbling the chocolate off a strawberry. He seemed to believe that any strawberry which wasn't coated in chocolate had a genetic mutation. "I know this for Raito-kun is too yaoilicious."

Excited, the Chief started to sweat profoundly. Matsuda whispered to Matt to break out the DDR and Singstar games, as Chief enjoys performing song and dance routines when he's ecstatic.

His favourite song to perform was 'Toxic' by Britney Spears.

"L," Mello hissed, fists clenching. "I found the Death Note, filled with his handwriting, covered in potato chips which we all know he likes way too much. We even damn well recorded it. He's Kira. You know it, I know it, even strangers on the street know it!"

"Suspecting and knowing are very different things, Mello."

"I pulled the damn Death Note out of his goddamn pants, L! How much more do you need?!"

"May I say that Mello looks surprisingly beautiful in Ms. Amane's clothes?" He flashed a grin, thumb stroking his teeth.

Idol and all, Mello couldn't help but shudder. Having lost his train of rage, he had to wonder whether or not L had planned that outcome.

"Raito-kun is not Kira," L announced louder, eyes scanning the room. "He is too yaoilicious, as I said. Of this I am one hundred percent certain. Raito is very delicious yaoi."

Chief Yagami nodded proudly.

"However," the detective continued, "one cannot deny that his handwriting was in the Death Note, and the very same notebook in his possessions. As we have already concluded that Raito is far too yaoilicious to be Kira, there is one things this means…" Give him a pipe and call him Sherlock, he was pulling threads together from seemingly nowhere. And it was all complete bullshit. "This means that Raito was being controlled by another being."

Gasps rang out.

"…yeah, I was!" Raito cried.

"You did not know this, Raito-kun."

"You saying it triggered the memories."

"Oh, of course. How silly of me."

Body trembling, Mello hung his head. So much frustration and rage was flooding him, it didn't even know how to get out.

"Of course," L continued smoothly, toes reaching up to scratch his lower thighs, "I am perfectly aware of who this culprit who tried to violate such delicious yaoi is."

"FUCKING MELLO!!"

"…no, Raito," L sighed with a shake of his head. "It was the one and only…"

Since when had L paused for dramatic effect?

"…Aizawa's afro."

Mello was so disgusted he screamed. Matsuda soon joined in, hiding behind the Chief and babbling about how much he enjoyed having dry pants and spinach balls.

L misinterpreted Mello's action as horror. "Indeed, Mello. Quite the nightmare."

"You've got to be shitting me," Aizawa groaned.

"Take that man and shave his head immediately," L ordered, before settling down in a seat. "This case… is closed."

Matsuda clapped slowly. Chief soon joined in, followed by Raito, while Mogi was comforting Aizawa while simultaneously dragging him to the door.

"It's okay, you can't control your hair, I know I can't, and neither could Harry Potter, and he was magic."

To celebrate, Chief ripped off his suit to reveal a school girl's uniform and broke out into 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'.

Growling, Mello snatched up the notebook and stormed up to the roof. As he stood under the stars, he considered using the notebook. Scrawling down the name of Kira, maybe even the name of L for getting so corrupted. Of course, Mello didn't know L's name. No one did. Still, knowing that the personification of justice had become this…

It was a stake through the heart.

Everything he had worked for his entire life was a sham. Now he had nothing left, and nothing to show for his work.

Anyone would believe what L said.

If L said a man's hair was Kira, a man's hair was Kira, and the real culprit got away.

And Mello was still worthless in Near's eyes.

Apparently, anyone who touched the notebook would die within forty seconds of it having been burned. Whether this was true or not, Mello didn't know. He didn't know if there really were any absolute truths in the world.

Even love wasn't real.

He was fifteen or sixteen years old, and he had absolutely no faith left in humanity. He didn't care if the world burned. The sheer weight of the indifference was killing him. Did Near ever feel like this? Like his nonchalance was the worst thing in the world?

Of course nonchalance was the worst thing. At least hate has some feeling.

With that in mind, Mello set the Death Note on fire, counting as the flames consumed the book.

He was mildly disappointed to realise the pain in his heart was nothing physical, even ten minutes later. Frustration returned. Even the murder weapons lied. Mello had had the chance to scribble 'Nate River' as revenge, and he burned it.

Yet another failure.

And the very first one he was proud of. That failure, having had the chance to kill and receive no blame, proved that even if Near was painfully indifferent, Mello wasn't. Quite the contrary. He was painfully in love with a complete freak with nothing but flaws.

Mello smiled up at the stars.

"You burned it?"

Scowl forming, Mello glared. "What do you want." It wasn't a question because he really didn't want to know. He didn't want to hear that Near was bored, that he needed a new toy (Maybe even Matt), and oh yeah what a failure you are, Mello. He already knew it, so he didn't need to hear it.

"Hm, we're not dead," Near noted.

"Brilliant, genius. You can fuck off now."

Near made no move to depart. Instead, he came closer, crouching beside Mello around the ashes of the second deadliest weapon ever created.

The deadliest was love.

"We didn't work together very well," Near informed him.

Except for that one night, Mello couldn't help but think. He refused to open his mouth in case those words slipped out.

"But, Mello, I know that if we truly did work together… Properly, not manipulatively, of course, we would surpass L. Our skills combined would be – "

"Quit the bullshit!" Mello spat. "I know you don't give a fuck about me, fine, whatever, Near, you don't give a fuck about anything but being the best. And that makes you the worst!"

It was cheesy, but Mello had to have a dagger to wound with rather than none at all.

"If you say so."

"I know so! You treat people like tools, and we're not, you arrogant son of a – "

"I do mean it," Near muttered reluctantly. "I do love you."

Mouth opening and closing with shock, Mello couldn't help but melt. Not completely; frustration, and hurt still remained. But the fact that some of it melted was enough to tell him that it could work. They could work. They could be partners in every sense of the word. Even if they had the power to hurt each other, they had the power to heal each other.

It irked him how easily Near got a reaction out of him. But at least they weren't always bad ones.

"C'mon," the blonde muttered, rising to his feet. His albino cream puff followed suit. "Gotta get back to Wammy's." Smirking, he dragged Near towards the door, fingers intertwining. "Plus, the sooner we get there, well… You owe me a go at being on top."

Faintly, Near smiled. It wasn't beautiful for Near's features; it was beautiful because Mello knew he had caused it.

He smiled back.


HOLY HELL that was pretty sudden.

But that's that.

If you're reading this, or have read any of the fic, I'd like to thank you. Most of all, I'd like to thank everyone for putting up with my shitty updates. More, you continued to support me. Every alert and favourite was a hint to hurry up. Every review was a beautiful guilt trip.

So, thank you.