zombie root bug love
Pit kills a pikmin and is very sad :'(

For Helga-G-Pataki since she wanted to see a Pit and Olimar friendship fic :3 Brawl is property of Nintendo and co.


Sleeping in the sun, Pit dreamt of wondrous things: flying low to the ground with all his friends waving to him, eating a delicious cake with Palutena by his side, crawly and itchy things in his wings...

Wait.

Immediately upon jolting awake, Pit made a strange sort of noise that resembled a cross between a strangled duck and a vomiting cat. Then he shook his wings, wiggling and jiggling the itchy crawlies out. They hung for dear life, however!

...Except for one. It fell from Pit's wing, taking a feather with it, and splatted against the warm grass as it vanished into the sun.

Pit's mouth slacked in horror as he realized that the itchy crawlies were pikmin...and he had just killed one. His breath quickened, and he searched around his feathers for the remaining creatures.

A pink one stared at him in disgust, and Pit began to cry.

"Ike! Ike! Ike!" he cried out frantically as he ran (since he was so afraid now to fly) to his friend resting underneath a tree. "Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike!"

"WHAT?"

He stopped at Ike's feet and looked at him pleadingly. "You have to help me, Ike!"

"WHY?"

"I accidentally killed one of Olimar's pikmin!"

"SO?"

Pit scowled and put his hands on his hips in a huffy fashion. "Stop using caps, Ike. The pikmin don't like it when you yell."

Ike rolled his eyes and murmured, "Fine. So you offed one of Olimar's little buddies. What do you want me to do about it?"

"Well, I expect you to be a little more concerned since you always say, you know, 'I FIGHT FOR MY FRIENDS!'"

Scrunching up his face at being reminded of just one of many stupid things he'd said in caps, Ike sighed, "Pit, we kill the pikmin all the time. Remember that day you, Snake, and I were on the roof, and Link was on the ground distracting Samus in her Zero Suit? And we kept throwing pikmin at her boobs just to see them bounce? And she thought they were trying to commit suicide? ...It's okay, man. The pikmin always come back no matter what."

"But what if they don't, Ike?" Pit asked, nearing tears as his hysterics failed to be mollified by Ike's nostalgic words. "What if that stupid little root bug never comes back and Olimar loses all his matches and cries himself to sleep every night because I killed a pikmin? Olimar and I talk, Ike. We talk about our feelings. He's one of my best friends! I just couldn't live with myself if that happened!"

Ike considered this for a moment. "...Do you want us to throw you at Samus' boobs?"

"No!" Pit stomped his foot in frustration. "I want you to help me tell Olimar!"

"Tell me what?" Olimar asked as he appeared next to his friend, and the angel made that strangled duck/vomiting cat noise again.

"O-Olimar!" Pit laughed nervously as he squat down to the spaceman's level, trying to ignore Ike laughing at him. "Uh...uh, how are you?"

Shaking his head in worry, Olimar admitted, "Not so good. I can't find my pikmin anywhere..."

At the sound of their master's voice, the pikmin hiding in Pit's wings hopped down and gathered around them.

Olimar was overjoyed. "Oh Pit, I'm so glad they were with you! My pikmin really do like you best, you know! They're always so happy to play with you and the guys...although Samus seems to think they're depressed for some reason. But anyway, thank you for keeping the little buds safe and sound."

"Um, you're welcome," Pit murmured as he stood and scratched his head.

But then the little man noticed something. "Hey...Pit, do you happen to know where the purple one went off to?"

Immediately Pit began to stammer uselessly. "I, uh, er, uhm, uh, I mean, um, well..."

Ike was rather concise, however: "Pit killed it."

"I am so sorry," Pit apologized as he launched himself as Olimar's feet. "I was, I was, I was sleeping and dreaming and, and, and they were in my wings, and I shook be-because I was dreaming and sleeping and, and I - o-o-one fell off, and he, he, he... It was an accident, and I am so sorry, Olimar!"

The little spaceman chuckled and patted the angel's hair. "It's okay, Pit," he reassured and pulled the purple pikmin up from the dirt. "See? There he is. No harm done!"

Pit looked up to see the strange root thing do a little jig in his face. "I...I still feel really bad, though."

Patting his head again, Olimar helped him up. "Come on, Pit. Let's talk about our feelings over tea."

"Okay," Pit agreed, and they walked hand in hand into the sunset.

Ike barfed.