After season 8 finale

After season 8 finale. Phoebe and Coop aren't married yet. Piper and Leo are happily raising Wyatt and Chris. Paige and Henry are married. They're trying to forgive Billie…

I don't own Charmed, sadly… The flashback contains lines from "Centennial Charmed" written by Brad Kern and "Primrose Empath" written by Daniel Cerone . They're the same lines, but I added some detail in between.

Phoebe's POV:

His breathing was quiet and even. His kisses made me melt every time. When he held me, I felt like there was no one else in the whole world besides the two of us. I wake up close to tears when I look over at Coop. He snores softly and rolls over to his other side. How did I let myself get here?

I wake up crying a lot lately. Always for the same reason. I refused to let him get to me like this again, but he did. I put that wall around my heart for a reason, to stop the pain. He would have been 103 today. I'll never forget the night Paige told me he was finally gone…

Flashback

We arrived at Cole's apartment. The place was dark and empty. I walked in with my sisters close behind.

"Cole?" I called out, refusing to believe he was really gone.

"I'm telling you, he's gone for good," Paige assured me.

"Yeah, that's what we thought last time," I mumbled, walking around the seemingly empty room.

"And the time before that," Piper added.

"This time is different. He straddled two worlds just like I did, but he wasn't invincible there. Cole's not coming back, ever," Paige stated.

I winced at the thought. I had told Paige to just leave well enough alone, but she couldn't. I didn't want Cole dead, but how was I suppose to explain that to my sisters? There was a part of me that was still very much in love with him.

"It just seems far too easy. I don't know how I feel about that," I faintly heard Piper say.

"I think you should feel good about it, you know? We don't have to look over our shoulders anymore. It's over," Paige said.

"It's over." The words echoed in my head. I picked up a photo of the two of us. It was the photo that we both loved so much. I have a blue knit hat on and we're both gazing into each other's eyes, lovingly.

"I guess it just wasn't meant to be," I muttered, trying with every fiber of my being to keep myself from crying.

"Let's go," Piper instructed.

Piper headed for the door. I placed the photo on a side table and looked back into the apartment. I smiled slightly and walked into the elevator. I avoided eye contact with Piper.

"Happy birthday, Cole," Paige whispered.

In my head I wished him the same and apologized for not speaking up. Now he was dead and I was destined to spend my life as that lonely old woman I met last year while deciding if I should marry Cole. I needed to get home before I started crying in front of my sisters.

Paige joined us in the elevator. As the doors to the apartment closed, I silently told Cole I would always love him.

End Flashback

I cried myself to sleep for over a month after that. I don't why I let his death get to me so badly. But as I lay here now, engaged to Coop, I can't help but think of him. And the more I think about Cole, the more I realize I don't love Coop. He doesn't make me feel like Cole did. No one does. I've lost so many people: my mother, Grams, Prue… but never did I think that Cole was going to be one of them.

"Phoebe," Coop mumbles as he stirs next to me.

I shake my head and get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

Away from you.

"Work," I mutter, shuffling into the bathroom.

He groans of acceptance and goes back to snoring. It's four in the morning and he didn't notice. Cole would have. He would have pinned me up against the wall, refusing to let me go until I told him what was going on. And I would have told him, sinking into his loving embrace as he released his tight grip from my wrists. Of course if Cole was here, I wouldn't be having this problem.

I splash cold water on face and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I can practically feel Cole's arms around me and it brings back another heart-shattering memory.

Flashback

I couldn't take it anymore. Why was he pulling away from me, when Prue's new empath power clearly stated that he loved me? I arrived outside of his apartment, debating if I was actually going to do this. I decided to go for it and knocked. Cole opened the door without a shirt on. God he was so muscular and hot. Why was he punishing me like this?

"Phoebe, what are you doing here?" Cole asked, somewhat surprised.

"I, um, I came to tell you something. Actually..." I trailed off as my hormones got the best of me.

I kissed him passionately. He seemed to be resistant.

"I was always better at show then tell," I told him.

We continued kissing. Cole stopped resisting and deepened the kiss. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He leaned us against the door. Cole pulled away from the kiss and I trailed a finger down his jaw.

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into," Cole warned me.

"Neither do you," I whispered.

What happened next wasn't just sex. We made love that night. He was so gentle with me. It felt so right to have him inside of me. Prue was right, I had fallen in love with Cole.

I woke up the next morning to Cole touching my hair. My eyes fluttered open and he kissed my shoulder.

"Morning," Cole greeted me in his sultry voice.

"Good morning," I returned, rubbing my nose and smiling up at him.

"How you feeling about last night?" Cole asked.

"Um, last night was magical," I smiled. "You?"

"What do you think?" he asked, playfully.

He started to kiss me, but then pulled away teasing me. He started laughing. As I started to protest Cole tickled me and we both laughed even harder.

"Right here, right now, this place, it's perfect. I wish the whole world were just right in this room," I told him.

Cole hugged me closer.

"Then we won't have to worry about what happened next," Cole stated .

End Flashback

I shook my head to stop myself from sobbing and waking Coop again. That night had meant so much to me in so many ways. I didn't want to have to worry about what happened next. I just wanted to stay in his arms forever. I cursed that stupid Seer for ruining our marriage. She's the one who picked my husband, well I guess fiancé at the time it happened, to be the new Source. She tore us apart.

But then again, I did have the opportunity to fix it.. He came back. My sisters, all three of them, hated his guts. I already chose him over them once and I just didn't want to make the same mistake again. But had I just told Cole…

I suddenly felt too depressed to bother with a shower and quickly got dressed and left the apartment. Somehow, I was going to have to get into the manor before 5 am. I needed to look up something in the Book of Shadows…