Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Disney and Square Enix.


Answering Machine

As everyone knows, a bored Axel is never a good thing. In fact, it's safe to say that a bored Axel can have disastrous consequences. The last time he got bored, things exploded.

This particular time, it is poor Sora who is stuck with the bored pyromaniac for the day. And that may mean even more trouble than Axel being alone and bored.

Axel lays sprawled out across the couch of the Strife's living room, taking up as much room as he possibly can. Sora sits in a recliner a few feet away, chatting on the phone with his best friend Riku. Axel heaves a sigh, trying to get Sora's attention. When the spiky-haired brunet only laughs at something Riku says, Axel loudly groans and rolls over onto his stomach, burying his face in the couch pillow.

'I wish Roxas was here…'

The single thought gives Axel an idea. He gets up off the couch and walks over to Sora and plucks the phone from his hands. He ignores Sora's complaints and attempts to get the phone back and puts the phone to his ear to talk to Riku. "Hey, bitch, sorry to take you away from your precious lover-boy but I have a Roxas to call."

"You bas--!"

Axel ends the call before Riku can finish what he's saying. With a grin, he opens Sora's contacts page and locates Roxas's number. He commit's the number to memory and then presses send.

Sora scowls and tries to get his phone back, only to have Axel dance out of the way. "It's rude to take a person's phone to call their twin. Especially when said person is talking on the phone with their best friend!"

For once, Axel doesn't take the opportunity to tease Sora about being in love with Riku and them being much more than best friends. "Shush, it's ringing." He says, gesturing for Sora to be quiet. He patiently waits while the phone rings. And rings. And rings… and then picks up and Axel nearly falls over when he hears Roxas's voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Roxy! It's--"

"Sorry, I can't pick up my phone right now. If this is Sora or Cloud, leave a message. If this is Kairi or Selphie, then no, I don't want to participate in another girls night out. I don't know where you got the idea that I would enjoy something like that. On second thought, I do. If this is Axel, then Sora will die for giving you my number and leaving his phone unattended. Oh, and Riku, you can go die in a fucking hole!" -BEEP-

Axel doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at Roxas's message. After a moment, he does both, which gives Sora the opportunity to get his phone back while the redhead's defenses are down. Realizing that the phone is waiting for a message, he quickly puts it to his ear and explains what's going on.

"Hey, Rox, Axel stole my phone to call you and is now rolling around on the floor." He says. "I'm not sure if he's laughing or crying or what. Jeez, whatever you left as a message on your phone must have been something good." He watches Axel for a moment and then grins when he gets an idea. "Eww, Axel! Stop humping the floor! It's a good thing I got my phone back!" He quickly snaps the phone shut and jumps back when Axel reaches over and tries to grab his leg.

"You did not leave that as a message." Axel says, glaring at Sora.

Sora keeps grinning and slides the phone into his pocket. "I did. And you brought it upon yourself, you know. You shouldn't have taken the phone from me while I was talking to Riku."

"Is that so?"

"Yup."

Axel sits up and Sora warily watches him for any sign of attack. They both know that the battle over the phone isn't over yet. Axel stands up and stretches out his lanky body. Sora tenses, ready to run or dodge whatever Axel will throw at him.

A mischievous light enters Axel's eyes and a smirk plays across his lips. "Worried, Sora?"

"Of course not." Sora replies, trying to make it look like he's relaxed. He can't fool Axel though.

Deciding that getting his revenge sooner rather than later is better, Axel attacks.

Ten minutes of screaming and cursing later, Cloud walks into the room to see Axel laying face down on the floor with his arms pinned behind his back by Sora, who is sitting on him.

Cloud raises an eyebrow. "Do I want to know?'

"He took my phone and called Roxas." Sora explains. "But he's sorry now, aren't you Axel?"

"Mrrmph hmm." Axel says through the carpet.

Cloud sighs, wondering how stealing someone's phone managed to become such a big offense. Wanting no part in the mess, he leaves the room. "Don't forget to let him breathe." He reminds.

"Don't worry." Sora says. "I'll let him up when he starts turning blue."

Axel makes a noise of protest and begins struggling, but Sora keeps him trapped in place.

And so, Axel learns a very valuable lesson: Don't mess with Sora's phone.


END


And once again, I have Axel calling Riku a bitch and Riku calling Axel a bastard. I still think that's funny. You do something silly in one simple little story and it ends up stuck in your writing for the rest of forever.

So, the point of this? There is no point. Me and my friend were talking about what Roxas would leave on his answering machine as a message and then I thought of Axel trying to hump the phone when Roxas calls and so this was born! Not the greatest thing ever and I have no idea if I'll continue with this and do a few more. It depends on if I get inspired again.

By the way, I've got a poll up so people can vote for what story I'll be posting once I finish 'Princess'. There are 3 story choices and I have the summaries of each one at the top of my profile page.