fear

Disclaimer: You know what's cool? The more I write these, the less annoyed I'm getting. I never used to be like that, but now I don't mind writing these *everyone looks at her other disclaimers on the fics, most say crazy stuff* Anyway, I don't own digimon. Sad, ne?

Author's Notes: I got this idea somehow... And I hate Jun, but I thought this was a good idea... And remember, I will never ever have Matt and Jun together in my fics. Why did I write that? This fic doesn't have Matt at all *everyone gasps* I know, hey? No Matt... Now that's a scary thought!!

This follows Season 02, like right after Malomyotismon was destroyed, okay? And for the sake of my sanity, Matt and Sora broke up, okay? Though they are only mentioned once or twice in this fic...

It's a Fear... Can it Ever Go Away?
By: Crysie

**~**

A quick glance to my right and I see it all: those... those monsters fighting one another. The noise of people screaming is almost oblivious, but I can hear their snarls, the roaring coming from the tyrannosaurus' mouths.

A glance to my left saw Matt pushing Sora out of the way from crashing rubble. Jealousy struck, but at this point, all I could see him doing was barking orders, and I think he was yelling at that brunette who plays soccer with Davis.

The brunette yelled something back; a strange orange monster at his side, somewhat similar to the black tyrannosaurus.

A few minutes later, I found myself on top of a building, watching with hundred of others the scene of monsters. More monsters came, and I could see Matt riding one! I couldn't believe it.

But then I saw him. My own brother, riding one himself. A black monster with a lightening bolt on his head, or at least, that's what it looked like.


That image left, a new one appeared. I watched in sullen as Matt, Tai, Joe, Sora, Izzy and a young girl––who I have yet to find out her name––vanish into thin air. Theywere gone after this strange light took them away.

A short time later, everyone returned, including my little brother.



My eyes forced their way open, leaving me to stare at the red glowing from my clock that told me it was three in the morning. I groaned, rolling away from the sight and desperately trying to get that dream out of mind. Except it wasn't a dream...

Those were images of the past. It's been over six months since all of that happened, since I learned what my brother is. A Digidestined.

Like my parents, I had no idea he was saving the world for almost a year. I was shocked, to put it simply.

But now the shock is gone, leaving me scared. I have a fear, a fear that my brother will have to save the world once more, except that he will fail. Him and his precious friends will die, including Matt; and that there will be a force too strong for them and because of that, they will die. Perish. Be a simple corpse under the ground.

How sad, how pathetic of me to think this, but it's true. I fear for my little brother, Davis, and I want him to be safe. Sure I find him annoying, especially since he finds me the same way. I can't help loving boys.

Anyway, this fear haunts me. Every night I dream of my brother's attempts to save the world. It's funny, my brother succeeded in saving the world. And what is more strange is that Matt is a Digidestined too. Him, Tai, Her (my dislike for Sora because she stole my Matt away from me), Izzy, T.K. –– all of them. It's strange, why am I not a Digidestined?

In some ways, I'm jealous. There is no denying it. I hate the fact that She can save the world and impress Matt with her abilities, and I can't. In another way, I don't want to. It seems horrible. One day, Davis sat me down and told me everything, and it wasn't just about his time being a Digidestined. He told me about Matt and Tai's days in the Digital World, where they spent weeks and weeks trying to survive and save the world. Now that's scary.

And I thought getting a zit on my face was bad!

My thoughts went back to my brother. He was so brave that I respected and admired him much more than I used to. And if he has to do this again, I want to support him, I really do. But there's this part of me that wants to hold him like a child and not let him go through any of that ever again. I used to think he was immature. But really, who's the immature one?

I sniffed, thinking of how my brother had to do all of that. It wasn't fair. I always thought his life was just video games and... video games but now, I know I was wrong. He not only had to push aside what he wanted to do, but also had to risk his life doing it!

I fluffed my pillow and laid my head back upon it, wanting to get rid of these feelings and go into a deep sleep forever. Would that happen? Of course not, I even knew that. But all I wanted to do was escape these feelings, even if it was just for another five hours.

My brother is going to die! As soon as I closed my eyes, that thought entered my mind. I breathed deeply and closed my eyes again. An evil digimon will kill him!

I sighed in frustration and sat up, wiping my forehead of any sweat that was there. I curled my knees against my chest and rested my head on them, squinting through the darkness to the doorway. Tears silently rolled down my cheeks, and one tear slid over my mouth, making the skin irritated.

I don't want to lose you, I whispered, into the dark room. I was the only one in there. He would never hear it. I really wanted to go to my brother's bedroom, but I didn't want to disturb him, or deprive him from any sleep. After all, what if he had to save the world tomorrow? What if he did and didn't get any sleep because I felt like I had to say I don't want him to die?

A slow creak caught my attention back to the doorway. The door shut as quickly as it opened (which was actually very quietly, as not to disturb my parents), revealing a silhouette of my brother, at least, I was pretty sure of it. Neither of my parents had spiked hair.

Hey Jun, I came to see if you were up.

I found myself asking. I wasn't used to Davis coming to my room so late at night, or should I say, so early in the morning.

I need to ask you something. He sat on the bed, looking intently at me.

I waited for him to ask, and when he didn't, I grew inpatient. Well, are you going to ask?

Oh, sorry. Um, I know this may sound silly, but I was thinking, how would you like me to bring Veemon here? I know he would like it, and well, I miss the little guy. I never showed you him properly because you didn't know about me.

Are you insane? I screeched, quickly clamping a hand over my mouth. I didn't mean to be so loud, but as usual, I came out loud.

No I'm... It was just a suggestion. I really care about my digimon and I––

How can you care about your digimon?

Davis reached past me and turned on my lamp, eying me carefully. Why wouldn't I? A bond with digimon is so much stronger than any other friendship, and well, I wanted to share it with you.

Your digimon caused you nothing much trouble.

How so? he asked, crinkling his nose in confusion.

Isn't it obvious? He basically forced you to fight against your will.

Against my will? I share being the Holder of Courage with Tai. I wanted to fight to save the world. It was my destiny.

Well if Veemon was such a good friend, then why would he do this to you? To drag you into fights where your life was in danger.

You know nothing about friendship! I'm also the Keeper of Friendship, and you know who also has that? Matt does. He taught me a lot about friendship and the thing that stuck most in my mind is that you have to fight even when you think––no, know–– it is wrong. Davis stood up. I just wanted you to understand more about my life, that's all. Maybe it was a bad idea. He began to walk away.

I bit my lip, struggling to fight back all of the emotions I was feeling. I wanted to throw my arms around my brother and tell him the truth why I was against his digimon coming here. I couldn't fight the struggle, I'm too weak to stop myself from doing anything I feel.

I'm sorry, I cried, throwing my arms around him. I just don't want you to die.

Davis must have been shocked, for he stood there, not speaking. After all, when has anyone seen me, Jun Motomiya, cry? Well, except over pimples, but that's a different story.

I can't stand this. I'm so scared you are going to have to fight again.

he protested, I'm not going to anymore. We aren't needed again. Gennai even said that. Oh wait, you don't know who Gennai is. Well, anyway, don't cry... I've never seen you cry before, except sobbing over some zit that Matt might see.

I can't help it. It's a fear... Can it ever go away?

What do you mean? he said, placing his arms around me.

I've felt like this for a while now. I just want this feeling to stop. Everyday, I wake up with this dread in my stomach, and if anything, I just don't want to lose you. You're my little brother.

Again, Davis must have been shocked knowing that I actually give a damn about him. But what he did amazed me. He pulled away and softly kissed me on the cheek.

Thanks, Jun. Just showing that you care makes everything seem less hopeless. You see, I have that same fear. I'm supposed to have lots of courage, but I get scared that I will have to be the leader of the Digidestined again. He quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

Somehow, after everything that was said, made me feel content for the first time in six months. Just knowing that I wasn't the only one with that fear made it seem a lot less worse than it was before. Now, things will be different. I just know it!

**~**

Author's Notes: Mmm, should I make another chapter? I have an idea forming, though this was supposed to be a one shot fic, it would still be. Please review your opinions on this fic.