Servo: Otherwise known as chapter nine, but I guess the writer didn't learn how to count.

The class of 2-F restlessly mumbled amongst itself. Their teacher did not reprimand his students because,

Crow: He was slowly being roasted as his students performed eldritch chants around the bonfire.

well, he was not there. This was the topic of discussion in the classroom, before the substitute walked in.


Crow: Gesundheit.
Servo: Thanks.

one of the students called out, waving an arm wildly.

Mike: It quickly detached and flew out the window, never to be seen again.

"Where's Itoshiki-sensei?"

Crow: Gesundheit.
Servo: Thanks.

The substitute peered at the students' worried faces and sighed sorrowfully.


Mike: If you need some Tylenol, just say so.
Servo: Nope, I'm fine.

has called in sick today."

Crow: I'm wondering. Was that necessary at all?
Mike: Well, I dunno. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

The teacher who everybody was worried about was currently lying on the wooden floor of his living room. The television was on, and though various colorful scenes played, flashing

Crow: Gross! The things they show on TV nowadays!

colors across the walls, his eyes were focused firmly on the ceiling.

Mike (Nozomu): I'm gonna focus the hell outta that ceiling!

Nozomu Itoshiki was feeling depressed as usual, the reason why he called in sick today.

Servo: If depression is usual for him, why didn't he call in sick before? Why did the school even hire him?

The other residents of the house saw his prone figure and

Crow: Immediately feasted upon his weak, elderly body.

wondered what could possibly be bothering poor Nozomu now.

Majiru, the teacher's nephew, stared at his uncle for a few long minutes before tip-toeing to the closet.

Crow (Majiru): Heheh…no adult supervision…time for some fun

Opening the door, he was not surprised to see Kiri Komori, wrapped in a thick brown quilt.

Crow: He has a girl in his closet?!
Mike: Well yeah, where've you been the last few chapters, hm?

Even so, he blushed.

Servo (Majiru): I swear, I didn't know you were taking a bath in there!

But no, she loved her teacher (why else would she camp out in his house?). He had no chance against an older man.

So he coughed and said, "Uncle seems…

Mike (Majiru): …A little more pregnant. Was he always like that?

really down today." He couldn't exactly tell with all that hair covering her face, but it looked like Komori was worried.

Mike: Well, I don't know if this helps, but…'seven days'…

"Let's see," she said, and they both walked back to Nozomu. Matoi Tsunetsuki had beaten them already. Nozomu's stalker

Crow: He has two girls living with him?!
Mike: Well, yeah, where've you been the last few chapters?
Crow: Why is he so depressed?!

had his head in her lap and was massaging his shoulders lightly, crooning soft nothings into his ear.

Servo (Matoi): …And then Susan, that slut I told you about before, remember? Well she had the gall to insult my dress, I mean, hellooooo, has she seen her own wardrobe lately? Well then Jane…

Majiru glanced sideways at Komori and noticed how she

Crow: Was sucking blood right out of his jugular!

stiffened at the sight of the stalker, but still walked towards the lethargic man, her quilt dragging on the floor.

Mike: Aw, no, no! You'll ruin the fabric!

"What's wrong?" she asked politely.

Matoi glanced up briefly. "Oh, don't worry. It's none of your concern."


Mike (Komori): Well, I guess this knife in your back is none of your concern.

She huddled further into her cocoon

Servo: Where she'll stay until springtime, when she'll burst forth, a beautiful butterfly.

and appeared to slowly glide away.

Majiru stared at her retreating back,

Crow (Majiru): Yes! The battle is won! Victory is mine!
Servo (Komori): You may have won
this time, but I'll be back! This I sweaaaar!

stared at Matoi, now smirking down at his uncle,

Mike (Matoi): Oh, I'm sorry darling, but I can't take you seriously with that milk moustache…

and ran to catch up with the long-haired girl.

When he saw her again, Komori was sitting back in her closet. Her head was buried

Servo: Ten feet deep and fifteen miles away.

amongst the folds of her quilt. She wasn't crying…was she?

Mike: Oh, no.
Crow: No way.
Servo: Whatever gave you that idea?


Crow: Ah, Tom, now I'm sick!
Servo: Hey, it's not my fault! …Actually, I guess it is.

No answer. The little boy walked a little closer.

Crow: Oh, classic horror movie mistake. His head'll be ripped off soon, you'll see…


She looked up. He noticed that her hair carefully covered her face. "Majiru-kun…

Mike: Well, it looks like none of these are for robots…
Crow: Curse this human-centric society!
Servo: Are you in despair, Crow?

come here…" Majiru dutifully obeyed. He let Komori

Mike: Sell his kidneys, those useless vital organs.

force him to sit down in front of her. He let Komori play with his fine hair. He let her play with his hair until she fell asleep.

Crow: After which he immediately punted her out the window.

It was warm, being so close to her.

Crow: …So that whole first part was meaningless!
Mike: Yeah, I guess so.
Crow: Man! That's so…so…argh! It really…
Servo: Are you in despair, Crow?

Suddenly, Nozomu noticed the snarky commentators. "Aah! This is an MST fic, isn't it?!"

Crow: Crap! Our cover's been blown!
Servo: Quick! Run awaaaay!

"Don't you realize these fics are against the rules as specified in the Rules and Regulations of this website?! Now we'll get reported and the Almighty Authoress could be bann--