AN: Quick one-shot based on a dream I had... Just a bit more extreme and random.
Pikachu sat under the stars, sipping an icy glass of tomato pulp. He was sitting on the top of a green hill. Lush grasses danced to a weak breeze across the rolling plains stretched out in front of him. It was obviously a dream. There was no way Pikachu could escape the stress of the city without killing someone. Oh well. Even if it was a dream, it was sure a peaceful one. He slurped his tomato pulp, taking in all that was.
"Ahh, this is what I call a dream..." He sighed, setting his pulp down by his head. The pokemon gently laid his body down on the cool grass.
"I'll say, but I'm surprised you haven't killed me yet!" Another voice spoke. "Gwah!" Pikachu shot up and looked from side to side. On his left, was a giant Easter egg, and on his right was a ferret. "Schweet." The ferret smiled, he had been the one talking before.
"Say, Pikachu. I'm glad we're friends."
"I don't know you."
"Pikachu, remember how we became friends?"
"Dude, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How am I supposed to remember something that never happened?"
"Well, we were at the meat market and..."
"Then the man's dog exploded and he started crying."
"So we went to the store to buy a carton of diet pepsi..."
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
The ferret immediately stopped talking. Pikachu sighed. "Peace..." He thought to himself. Everything was silent for about two seconds, then the ferret started sobbing loudly. His sobs turned into loud cries of grief that racked his ribs and shook the very earth. Gritting his teeth, Pikachu slowly turned his head to the ferret. "What is it this--"
"Oh, Pikachu!" The ferret turned to meet Pikachu's gaze, his eyes red and watery. A long string of bright green snot trailed from his nose to the ground.
"Pikachu! Oh Pikachu! Pikachu!"
"Shit man." Pikachu was pretty pissed. "Just tell me what's UP already you pea-brained animal!"
"Pikachu... I can't take it anymore!"
"What?" The pokemon questioned. "Your life? Then end it right now. Please. I'll watch."
"No... I'm... I'm in love with you!"
"I've been in love with you ever since I saw you in that old lady's hair net... Can't you see."
"NO! Because I FU--"
"Make love to me Pikachu!"
"Make love to me Pikachu! I need to be with you! I NEED IT! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING"
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Suddenly, a train whizzed by on Pikachu's left side, violently rolling the giant Easter egg along with it.The ferret gasped, stood up, and started chasing the train screaming at the top of his lungs. "ALICE! AAAALLLIIIICCCEEE!" Pikachu was left alone, dazed. "That ferret was insane."
It was quiet, for a while. Though he knew it would all return. Not needing to do anything else, Pikachu sat and waited. Sure enough, the train that had pulverized the egg chugged slowly to where Pikachu stood. The pokemon stood up, waiting for the unexpected. The train stopped, and out from under it, rolled the Easter Egg. It was cracked, but that was it. Pikachu sighed and patted the egg. "Nice egg... That was--GWAH!" The egg opened it's eyes and mouth, staring at Pikachu solemnly. He coughed. "Now child..." He spoke in the voice of a jazz singer/preacher. "I have a word of advice."
The ferret ran back up the hill stopping beside Pikachu to pant heavily. "REDEMPTION! REEEEDEMPTION!" The ferret wailed and collapsed to the ground, his body exploding into a mass of multi-colored butterflies, which flew in opposite directions. Pikachu blinked, then returned his attention the the egg.
"We are in this together, THAT is what my brother told me." Then everything dove into darkness.
"WEIRDPREACHEREGG!" His words came tumbling out in a blur as he shot up from his covers. Pikachu was in his bed, coated with sweat.
"Damn..." He rubbed his head. "I need some waffles."