We, the Sparky Army, decree 2008 to be the Year of the Spark. We pledge to post a new sparky story or chapter of a sparky story every day from January 1, 2008 to December 31, 2008. Though the Powers that Be have removed Elizabeth Weir from the regular cast of Stargate Atlantis, we feel that she remains an integral part of the show, and that the relationship between her and John Sheppard is too obvious to be ignored. We hope that you, and anyone might happen to read these works, agree.

And if that isn't official enough for you, we don't know what is. Seriously, guys, we're just trying to have some fun--and show TPTB that Sparky is the way to go. So sit back and enjoy the 366 stories coming your way!


Disclaimer: It isn't mine, but I wish it was because a Season Four of Stargate Atlantis would then exist (no I am not in denial!!)
Author's Note: This fic was born from a challenge given to me by Hannah554 to help me drag my muse back from vacation. Oh and this fic takes a while for Elizabeth to appear, so just be patient. But Sparky will commence! And this isn't angst! Everybody celebrate! It's actually quite fluffy…
The Challenge
: You must write a fic which includes the following lines:

"How was I supposed to know there was a law against walking on the grass?"
"Everyone else knew and none of them are now chained up in a cell."

So here we are…enjoy.

Stupid Laws
By Stargatecrazy

It had started out so simply. A trip to a quaint little planet on the edge of the galaxy. The Athosians had dealt with them before, and the people were known as fair, happy to help, traders. Teyla had said that they would happy to become Atlantis' allies. And she had been right in that statement. John just wondered why he was now in a small, wet, prison cell, while the rest of his team was allowed to wander free.

John's team had stepped out of the Stargate onto a wooden platform, in a large wooden hanger, with steps leading down to a group of very small people; the Brevis. Quite ironic, since Rodney had told him that Brevis was Latin for 'short'.

The Brevis greeted them, speaking perfect English; a fact that John had now established as normal for races on other planets in the Pegasus Galaxy. The Brevi closest to John held out his hand and John took it, expecting a handshake. Instead the green, little Brevi squeaked in shock and backed away as soon as John's hand connected with his.

The bigger, bulkier looking Brevis near by pointed what John assumed were weapons at them.

"Wait. We come to trade. We are not here to fight." Teyla stepped in front of John and then whispered to him over her shoulder. "Are you trying to get us killed, Colonel?"

Teyla then turned to face the Brevi that John had frightened. She put a hand on either side of her head, closed her eyes and bowed to the little man. He squeaked again, but this time in acknowledgement.

"I am sorry for the misunderstanding. I am afraid that Colonel Sheppard does not know of your people's customs. Therefore he does not know of your law of physical contact. Please forgive him." Teyla spoke, dropping her hands from her head.

The little Brevi stepped forwards and spoke, his voice surprisingly deep. "It is alright, I understand. Many are not aware of our customs. It usually makes first contact difficult. My name is Malis of Telek, leader of the Brevis."

He extended his hand towards Teyla. She also extended her hand but did not touch Malis. Instead they both wiggled their fingers. John had to force himself not to laugh.

"I am Teyla Emmagen; this is Colonel John Sheppard, Dr Rodney McKay and Specialist Ronon Dex. We are all pleased to meet you Malis of Telek."

John stepped forwards, wanting to apologise for his earlier behaviour. "Yeah, I'm sorry about earlier Malis. I hope I didn't offend you too much."

"All is forgiven Colonel John Sheppard. Please follow me."

The group of Brevis lead them away from the Stargate and out of the hanger, into brilliant sunlight and lush green plants.

Teyla walked up front, next to Malis, Ronon only a few steps behind her. John lagged behind. Next to him, Rodney was smirking.

"What's so funny, McKay?"

"It's just; it's usually me that screws up our diplomatic missions…not you. You didn't read the report, did you? Didn't you hear Teyla or Elizabeth when they said it was important?"

John sighed. "I must have been distracted."

"By what? There were no alien women in the briefing room." Rodney laughed at his own joke, John glared.

"Nothing, McKay."

"You were distracted by nothing? Well that's idiotic, even for you." Rodney was enjoying this immensely; John had had enough.

"Is that a lemon tree?" He pointed to his left, just out of Rodney's line of sight.

"What?! They have lemons here! Don't they know I'm allergic to citrus?"

As Rodney moved to get a better look, John moved passed him to join Ronon. The large man grunted in acknowledgement, knowing first hand how annoyingly persistent the astrophysicist was.

Finally the group of Brevis lead Sheppard's team to a large open plaza. "Feel free to look around. I will be a while. I have some business to attend to. You will be notified when I am ready."

Malis left before the team had anything to say. Ronon shrugged, happy to get rid of the small, green aliens. Rodney sat down on a stone bench and pulled out a ration bar, hungrily. Teyla walked up to John.

"Colonel, I would be careful. If you have not read the report on the Brevis then you must be very wary. These people have very strange but strict laws. And if you break any of the serious laws, no plea of ignorance will help you."

"I understand, Teyla. Don't worry I won't do anything stupid." Rodney laughed from behind him.

Ignoring Rodney, John looked around at the plaza. It was beautiful. Baskets of flowers hung everywhere, giving off strong, relaxing scents. There was a large shady tree a few metres in front of him. Feeling the need to unwind, John headed towards it.

"Sheppard! No!" The shout came from both Rodney and Ronon.

"What?" Before he knew what was happening, John was surrounded by at least five armed Brevis, small but powerful.

"Please come with us, sir." They gave him no choice. And the next thing John remembered was waking up in a prison cell.


He'd been there for six hours without seeing anyone. No one had come to explain what he had been imprisoned for, no one had come to tell him not to worry and no one had come to give him basic needs, such as food or water. Of course the guards had taken his radio, weapons and Kevlar vest, with all trying their hardest not to touch him. Thankfully they hadn't taken his watch like a lot of alien imprisoners seemed to. Watching another minute tick by, John decided that maybe he wasn't so thankful after all.

Suddenly he heard voices, but they were too far away to make them out. Footsteps soon followed and John couldn't contain his grin as his soon to be rescuer rounded the corner.

"Elizabeth, you don't know how glad I am to see you!" He didn't even try to conceal his relief.

"Hmm…I wish I could say the same, Colonel." John frowned at her tone.

Elizabeth obviously noticed this as she opted to explain herself. "Next time Teyla and I tell you that reading a report is important, I expect you to listen. You have no idea how hard it was to get the Brevis to let you go."

"I don't understand. Why was I imprisoned in the first place?!"

"You walked on the grass. That's a federal offence on this planet. Don't expect me to tell you all the details, because frankly I don't understand them. But that's what you did. You violated one of their most serious laws, Colonel." Elizabeth sighed, her irritation clearly showing. "It's usually Rodney that gets us into this sort of mess."

"He said as much…how was I supposed to know there was a law against walking on the grass?"

"Everyone else knew and none of them are now chained up in a cell."

"Technically, I'm not chained up. And I'm sorry! I was distracted at the time." John's face fell as he realised what he'd just admitted.

Elizabeth frowned, her irritation dissipating. "You were distracted? By what? There were no alien women in the room, John."

She smiled, letting John know that she'd forgiven him. He smiled back. "You know, you spend way too much time with McKay."

"Don't try and avoid the question."

John gripped the bars of the cell. They were quite primitive for such an advanced looking people. Sighing in defeat he braced himself.

"Well, I…you…it…" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and it was apparent that she wasn't letting John out of the cell until he gave her a believable answer. "Your…um…t-shirt…when you stood up…it had ridden up slightly."

John swallowed nervously and looked at his shoes, waiting for Elizabeth to admonish him for being so unprofessional. Instead he heard laughter. Looking up, Elizabeth was laughing at him.

"What's so funny?" John asked, his pride slightly wounded by Elizabeth's response.

"Oh John, you were distracted by that?" She laughed again and John found himself smile despite the situation.

Leaning forwards Elizabeth whispered, "So it isn't as hard as Rodney thought it was to distract you…"

Turing around, Elizabeth walked back down the corridor, but not before swiping a card down a panel on the wall, opening the bars to John's cell, effectively freeing him. John could only stare after her, mouth hanging open.

Suddenly realising he better follow, John ran after her. By the time he caught up with her, they had already gone up a staircase and through the main building. Opening the doors which lead outside, John was greeted by his team.

Rodney was smirking and John was reminded of what Elizabeth had said to him down in the prison. Ronon looked the same as ever and Teyla had the air of 'I told you so' about her, even if she never said it out loud, she'd be thinking it. Ronon handed John's P-90 and other equipment back to him.

"Let's head back to the 'Gate then. Send a team to negotiate with the Brevis." He saw his team's looks and added, "A team that's read the report. I said I was sorry!"

Everyone laughed and followed John as he headed back to the wooden hanger which housed the Stargate.


Hours after returning to Atlantis, John found himself unable to sleep, even though it was almost midnight. Elizabeth had scheduled a debriefing for tomorrow and told the team to get some rest as soon as they'd stepped into the 'Gate room. John hadn't seen her since.

Giving up on sleep, John quickly pulled on some trousers and a jacket, grabbed his radio and left his quarters. He walked up to the control room, intent on getting some fresh air from the balcony, before he noticed a light on in Elizabeth's office.

Elizabeth was bent over a tablet, reading then scrolling, then reading some more. John took the time to watch her, the dimmed light in the room playing with the colours of her hair.

"Yes, John?" John jumped in surprise, not realising she knew he was there.

"What are you doing, 'Lizabeth? It's almost midnight, you shouldn't be working."

"I couldn't sleep and I had reports to sign…working was the only obvious thing to do. You?"

"I couldn't sleep either." He admitted, walking forwards and sitting on the edge of her desk.

"Oh, here, before I forget." She reached into her pocket and brought out a ten dollar note.

"What's this for?" John asked as Elizabeth handed it to him.

Elizabeth smiled softly. "It's from Rodney. Remember I told you that Rodney thought it would be hard to distract you, well when I told him that it would be easy he bet ten dollars on it. I thought I should give it to you, since it was sort of my fault you got thrown in an alien prison cell."

John was shocked. "Elizabeth how is it your fault that I find you incredibly attractive?"

Elizabeth blushed at John's outburst, but couldn't stop herself from smiling. John on the other hand inwardly cursed himself and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"I did it on purpose, John." Elizabeth explained after clearing her throat. Noticing John's confusion, she continued. "I…well, I purposely let my t-shirt ride up…Rodney didn't think that that would be enough to distract you, and I guess he was wrong."

John smiled as another flush made its way to Elizabeth's cheeks. "It doesn't take much to distract me when you're involved Elizabeth."

"It doesn't?"

"All you have to do is smile at me and I'm captivated." He coughed, once again embarrassed by his admission.

Elizabeth smirked. "Hmm, maybe I should have bet Rodney more."

John shook his head in amusement. "Come on, Elizabeth. Let's go to bed."

At his comment, Elizabeth raised both her eyebrows suggestively. John's eyes widened in surprise as he realised what he'd said.

"I meant, not together…yours and mine…separately."

Elizabeth laughed at John's distress. "I know what you meant."

Together they walked to their quarters in a comfortable silence. When they reached Elizabeth's room, she opened the door and turned to face John.

"Well, goodnight." Looking at her watched she laughed. "Or maybe that should be good morning."

"Sleep well, Elizabeth." Not knowing if this would ruin their friendship, John mentally held his breath as he leant forwards, lightly brushing his lips against Elizabeth's.

Pulling back, John looked into Elizabeth's eyes, noticing the flicker of desire that flashed through them. But it was so quick that John wondered if he'd imagined it.

"I will. See you tomor…later. Maybe we can have a late breakfast together?" John could tell she was hesitant about asking.

"Wouldn't miss it." Flashing her his best fly boy grin he turned to walk down the corridor towards his quarters but Elizabeth's voice stopped him.

"John?" He'd barely turned around when Elizabeth's lips were on his.

His surprise soon turned to desire as his hands moved to tangle themselves in Elizabeth's hair. A moan escaped her, causing the last of John's restraint to shatter. Pushing her backwards, they entered Elizabeth's quarters, still in a passionate embrace. John managed to find the door control and grinned against Elizabeth's mouth as the door hissed shut behind them.

Since I don't think we're allowed a higher rating than Teen, this'll have to end here I'm afraid. Plus I can't write anything higher than a Teen bordering on Mature…so there we go. I was going to end it with John heading off to his quarters, but I thought 'What the hell! Let's make it even more fluffy and Sparky. So think yourselves lucky! (That's also the reason the ending's slightly OOC)

This is for Hannah554 because it was her that dragged my muse back and on the 4th April it was her birthday.

Your views are welcome of course!!