Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.
Summary: Some things are better left unsaid. Unrequited Allen x Lenalee, Subtle Lavi x Lenalee
A/N: Hope you like this! I'm continuing chapter 2 of Memories of Love weeks later because my computer broke down, and I wrote this using my friend's computer. Enjoy this one-shot! I apologize for the many grammar mistakes and spelling error, because there isn't any automatic check for mistakes. Sorry once again!
Allen laid on his hospital bed, his face crinkled with pain. It wasn't the pain caused by the stomach cancer he had been suffering for years, but it was the pain inflicted on his heart just the day before when Lenalee had announced happily that she and Lavi are officially dating. His heart shattered into pieces then, but he regained enough composure to congratulate the Chinese girl with indiscernible elation.
He didn't know it was this difficult to accept the truth that her heart now belongs to another and it even took fifteen minutes for him to digest this small "joyful" piece of information, after Lenalee left, that is.
Lenalee Lee was Allen's Raison d'être. Because of her, Allen had tried to survive, tried to outwit the God of Death and try to counter his stomach cancer for almost a year now. He wanted to stay alive, to confess his true feelings to Lenalee and pray sincerely that his genuine feelings will be returned. And better still, he might even survive a few more years due to the positive outlook to his Lenalee-filled life, marry Lenalee and produce a child with her, despite the grieve he knew he would eventually bring about. However, at that time, he would comfort Lenalee and say that they'll together again in their next life, along with many mushy sweet nothings, and then after hearing his child calling him "papa" for the very last time, he would enter a deep sleep and his heart will finally stop.
All those dreams were crushed. All those times he regarded (and hoped) as hints from Lenalee were nothing but a bluff, a feint that diabolically develop itself so that Allen would hold on to the one hope that he once thought was, and survive even a second longer.
Those words, "I am with Lavi" replayed numerous times in his mind. Allen recalled Lenalee's embarrassed expression and red blushes when she related the news. What he expressed as joy and gladness for the girl were merely sadness and sorrow accumulating inside him.
Thinking about it, Allen's heart still ached. He tried to be positive by trying to laugh the matter off, convince himself that this was just a foolish teenage teenage crush. But the attempt was unsuccessful. But he did try, so hard so that he might gain another grain of sand in his hourglass. But he could not smile still, and his melancholy opened doors for Death.
"Lenalee belongs to Lavi now," Allen mutters to himself sadly, "I have nothing to hope for now."
He looked around the empty lifeless hospital room, the white painted walls reminded so much of Death. With a final smile - a sad smile - Allen closed his eyes, welcoming sleep. A sleep that comforts and soothes his sorrowful and broken soul, dispelling all the painfulness in his heart. Suddenly, he felt peaceful, and he entered a slumber he wouldn't mind not waking from.
A/N: As I said, there are many grammar and spelling mistakes. I know that's a grave crime, but please understand that there isn't any automatic check for spelling and grammar. I apologize sincerely. Thanks for reading and please, please review!