Yeehah, the next chapter is out. A bit late I know sobsBut beware, this is a little different to the rest of the story and YES the old man did have an important role to play! Medals for you!

Kakuzu blinked, the morning light shining dimly into his eyes. He'd forgotten to shut the great glass doors in the night and now they swung freely, striking the walls making a terrible racket. The noise echoed in his head and a chill wind ran across his skin where beads of sweat still lingered. His mouth was dry, only the bitter aftertaste of tobacco still remained and from outside the smell of fresh rain invaded the guilty room. He threw the heavy blankets off him, sparing a single glance to his partner half buried in the silken pillows. Sleeping or still unconscious? He didn't wait to find out, grabbing a quick fag and then a shower Kakuzu began to search the place for anything remotely valuable. The paintings on the walls were too big and clumsy to cart all the way across open country and so he hunted for jewels, cold hard cash or even better – valuable secrets.

First on his hit list was the large airy office a few floors below. The door opened silently and he stepped onto ridiculously thick carpet, scanning the mahogany desks and book-filled shelves for expensive trinkets. Nothing caught his inverted eyes and he pounced upon the half open drawer to the far right hoping for better luck.

"Paperwork, paperwork and more useless fucking paper- WHAT?" his five hearts almost ceased their beating when in front of him a new file was exposed. A single name on the front simply read:


He pulled it from its position in the drawer and threw it onto the floor in front of him. With his stomach fluttering with dread he checked the rest of the room for files on himself. Had this sick bastard been keeping tabs on all of them? The dusty tomes yielded nothing, however and the waterfall nin collapsed back to the floor to open the offending folder bearing his lover's name. Pages and pages of handwriting and data fell out into his lap, along with a diary like progress report. What he read made him nauseous, and unspeakably angry. Rage welled up inside him until he thought he could take it no more, his fists clenched crumpling the records and numbers between his strong fingers. He threw the decrepit bundle from him and almost smashed the door down in his haste to get away. If he'd have known...

He burst like a thundercloud back into the room he and Hidan had shared, barely registering relief that the zealot was awake.

"Come on, we've got stuff to loot" he growled dangerously through clenched teeth, fists balling and relaxing by his sides – a tell tale sign he was on the edge.

"Kuku" Hidan began mockingly, enjoying the way his partner twitched at the mention of the sickeningly sweet nickname, "I can't even sit up, let alone walk."

"Oh you'll walk allright" Kakuzu whispered and his partners smile faded, he grabbed Hidan's thin wrist and forced him to his feet, throwing a pair of baggy pants in his direction and ignoring the painful protests. Hidan staggered, clinging onto the bedposts for strength

"FUCK!" he gasped, and Kakuzu grinned in sadistic pleasure,

"Move" the dark haired nin commanded and within minutes they were walking (and limping) across the grounds towards the servants quarters, where Kakuzu was sure something of value could be scavenged. The heat of the day was already creeping over the hills, and inside the cheap walls there was no shelter from the onslaught of summer. Hidan clung to the cracked plaster, desperately trying not to fall to his knees. He really shouldn't be walking after a night like that, he should be in bed, still curled up in Kakuzu's warm arms...

"You're lagging!" he barked from up ahead and strode out into the sunlight. Hidan heard his footsteps retreat across the parched grass and into a barn. Hidan cursed under his breath and made to follow him, the boards' creaking under his feet. Kakuzu was crazy he thought, there's nothing here worth more than a few pence – we'd do better to look back in the house. He took a deep breath, planning to say so. An oppressive silence seemed to fill the barn he'd just entered. His eyes blinked, trying to get used to the lack of light and the dust and hay made him sneeze. He clung to the doorframe and waited pitifully for the dark haired man to come and help him. Not a sound broke the silence and Hidan grew uneasy. What had befallen his partner?

He staggered further in, noting nothing but crates and farm equipment laid to waste to his left and right. Mouldering logs blocked his path through, no one had been here in years. Old fashioned ploughs and picks were hung rusting on the walls and his dim reflection caught his eye, shining back at him from a blunt saw.

"There's nothing here!" he bellowed into the darkness, hearing only his echo in return, "I can't see a damn thing!" he cursed again waving his pale arms about. He felt a sudden warm droplet on his thumb, he'd brushed against the saw and realized with slight dread that it wasn't quite as blunt as he'd thought. The cut was deep and bled freely over his hand. The equipment looked old and yet it was as sharp as if it was brand new. Was this a trap?

He felt a draught against his leg, a cold breeze on his face and before the shock had time to register he was thrown backwards, slammed viciously against the wall. Familiar tentacles pulsed and twisted around his wrists and ankles, holding him back against the rotten wood. He could smell the cloying stench wafting through his hair and it almost made him retch. A nagging doubt grew in the pit of his stomach. Anything could have happened while he was out, the files...Dr Okama... Kakuzu said he was searching the house...

"I can explain!" he wailed as a kunai rushed at his face, stopping an inch above his eye. Kakuzu's mutinous glare bore into his own fearful one, his heat and strength promising danger if he uttered a single word out of line.

"You'd better" Kakuzu growled low in his throat, moving the kunai down to press cold against Hidan's abdomen. All the colour drained from his face,

"You wouldn't" he whispered, his hands sliding in to protect his stomach. It had a slight bump to it now, something no one else had noticed, but give it a few months and...and...

Kakuzu leaned in, nibbling on his lover's earlobe. His hot breath blowing over the side of Hidan head, "I'll cut this baby from you" he murmured and Hidan began to tremble.

"NO!" he shouted and beat against Kakuzu's chest with his smaller fists. He dug in his nails and ripped at the larger mans skin, but the thick black tendrils kept tugging his arms away. The attack had no effect – too much of the waterfall nin's skin was scar tissue, he couldn't feel much. With agonising slowness he pushed harder on the cold metal knife until it broke the skin just below Hidan's belly button.

"It's wrong...we have to get it out" he hissed almost to himself and tears rolled down Hidan's cheeks. He himself was immortal, but the baby? He didn't think he could live without its tiny heart beating inside him and he cried out in earnest as the blade dug deeper.

"Kuzu no!" he wept, "anything but this. I'd do anything!" hot blood gushed down and soaked into the waistband of his pants but the pressure eased. He gave a sigh of relief which was brutally snatched away a second later when the blade smashed into his shoulder, driving deep into flesh and bone. He howled in anguish. It felt so good, but in this situation he was terrified. Not scared for his own life, but for the life of his baby.

"Fucking hurts" he grimaced and Kakuzu chuckled, a low noise hardly more than a deep vibration of lust in his throat. He clutched Hidan's broken shoulder and squeezed it, making him groan against all the odds. He took the limp body in front of him and forced him harder against the wall, allowing rotten splinters to enter the wounds from the night before. The saw rattled above them on the wall as Kakuzu pounded into his partner, rubbing against him, grinding their clothed hips together until Hidan was screaming for more.

"Kuzu!" he huffed, "want it...give it –to me"

"No" his lover replied calmly, removing himself from Hidan's sweaty clutches. "Tell me, what was this Dr Okama to you?"

Hidan hung weakly from the tentacles holding him up, unwilling to answer but desperate for more attention. He needed that man, detestable as he was. His cock twitched for his touch and he wriggled, trying to ease the pressure. If he answered would Kakuzu spare the life of his child or slaughter it while the unborn entity still rested inside him?

"He was my...nurse" Hidan choked. "when I fell pregnant, I couldn't tell you. I knew you'd kill our baby..."

Our baby... the two words echoed around Kakuzu's rage filled mind. Reminding him that this...thing...was part of him, the words bound him to it, tied him to it and prevented him from doing it harm. But if he couldn't hurt the child...

"urgh!" Hidan gagged as the kunai was dragged reluctantly away from his pregnant belly and thrust between his ribs. He arched his back away from the wall, blinded by the pain and anguish yet practically begging for more.

The cold metal grew warm with his blood and his chest became slick with the crimson substance. Kakuzu's fingers slipped in it as he drew his arm back for another swing, landing the blow above Hidan's heart and pushing it far into the rapidly beating muscle. He screamed then, a scream full of pleasure and wrenched his hands free from the tentacles that held him. He laid his hands on Kakuzu's chest, running his fingers over the fevered skin and rubbing his blood into the stitches.

"Hidan – above your head" he whispered and the priest looked up. High on the wall the saw was swinging - about to fall, and with a kick at the rotten wood it landed in his outstretched arms. He handed it with shaking hands to his lover then pressed his bare back against the wall, dreading and welcoming that which was to come. His hands fumbled with the waistband of Kakuzu's pants, finally finding their way in, battling past thin cloth once more and clutching the prize within. The skin was soft and hot and he ran his hand up and down the length of it, relishing the moans that forced through his partners open lips.

Thick arms wrapped around his back, drawing them closer together and he felt the sharp metal of the saw play across the sensitive skin of his lower back. His teeth bit into Kakuzu's shoulder as the saw was pushed harder into him. Expert hands dragged the weapon higher, raking through skin and across his shoulder blades then down across his back, the tingling pain it left behind sent all his blood south. Unknowingly he bucked into Kakuzu's groin, letting out another needy cry.

Passion was a heady scent on the air and Hidan felt warm blood gush and splash down the backs of his legs. The saw clattered to the floor as he fell forwards into his lover. Unwillingly he buried his head in Kakuzu's chest, the room was spinning and he felt really ill. His stomach heaved and he pushed himself away, he backed into a corner and to both their surprise threw up all over the floor.

"Morning sickness!" Kakuzu laughed

"Fuck off!!" Hidan muttered and staggered out of the door.

Mid day had long since passed and as the birds sang their evening tune the shadows lengthened beneath them. Kakuzu was making his way back to base, after giving his partner a head start. His pockets jingled with the riches he had always intended to collect from the house but he had hoped to come across Hidan by now. He grew slightly worried, not wishing him to be alone when night fell. Thoughts tumbled round in his head, thoughts about fatherhood and family. He and Hidan would not get another good nights sleep or another good fuck for years after that thing was born.

Raising his eyes from the dusty grass he looked ahead to see a familiar silver haired head resting against the trunk of a tree. Hidan's body was slumped on the floor and his chest was rising and falling with the effort to stay upright. He spared a glance to his right when Kakuzu approached and he was shocked to see dried tear stains over his lover's face.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to talk to you" Kakuzu murmured as he sat down on the floor next to the Jashinist who turned his watery eyes away. A moment of silence passed before Hidan was shaking and crying again, surprised Kakuzu draped an arm round his bleeding shoulders. Now he regretted treating him so roughly inside the barn, he was pretty cut up inside and needed comforting.

"My baby" he sobbed, stroking his stomach, instilling a sense of alarm in the stitch man's conscience, "I can't – I can't feel it kicking anymore!" Hidan wailed and fresh tears spurted from his amethyst eyes.

Slowly and carefully, Kakuzu laid his ear close to Hidan's belly. It amazed him how he had not noticed before - there was a slight bump there these days. With a smile he slowed his breathing and listened intently. Because of his rash actions earlier, there was no sound from Hidan's heart for it had stopped. But deep inside he heard a tiny steady thump and a relieved grin lit up his face. The priest had stopped his sobbing and now merely sniffled as Kakuzu raised his head, calmly explaining that the baby was still alive.

"How can you hear that?" he choked, "I can't even feel it"

"5 hearts" Kakuzu explained, laughing, "I'm used to listening for them!"

"How many does...the baby...have?" Hidan asked tentatively, straightening up and gripping his torn shoulder. Kakuzu watched him fumble with the ripped flesh, stared as he tried to pinch the skin together and slow the steady ooze of blood. He felt the beginnings of excitement well in the pit of his stomach, but hell he couldn't get turned on now! What would happen if Hidan passed out? The unborn child had survived countless missions and still dwelled on inside his partner, it must have inherited their strength, he mused. And as for the hearts,

"One for now" he concluded, "but possibly two" Hidan grinned and Kakuzu smiled bashfully back. "I'm here with you, we're doing this" he met Hidan's purple gaze seriously. They had so much to work through, so much upheaval and so much to tell the rest of the Akatsuki.

"Help me up!" Hidan complained, struggling to his feet and groaning unwillingly as his injured back scraped the rough bark of the tree. Kakuzu lent him his arm and together they staggered off into the grass, leaving a trail of blood behind them.

"How far along are you?" the stitch nin asked when the akatsuki base came into view, more than 6 hours later. The return trip had taken much longer due to the wild night before, the morning in the barn and Hidan wailing about pregnancy and exhaustion the whole way back. Right now the priest was silent and thinking, dragging his scythe along in the dirt. The blood had dried on him, highlighting his good looks and creating a striking contrast to his bloodless lips. Kakuzu was fighting the urge to tear his clothes right off and rape him right here, in front of the rest of the organization if he had to. It wasn't usually this bad, he could normally keep it in his trousers at least until they had some privacy, but today Hidan was driving him insane!

"Seven months" he blurted out. "It's been about seven months"

Wow. Kakuzu tracked back in his mind. Seven months ago, that was New Year-January time. The time they were caught red handed in the torture chamber. He grinned, relishing the memory. Hidan got pregnant that night? The idea seemed incredulous and he gaped open mouthed at his partner. It had been a bit...extreme.

He raised his eyes to the sky – at this time of night it was a beautiful dark blue with stars only just beginning to shine. Underneath sat the grey moss covered stone which hid the lair inside. A cold wind swept across his face, reminding him that both of them were very late returning. As the heavy door rolled open, Pein stood with his cloak blowing in the evening breeze looking positively furious. His expression softened however, when he saw the preoccupied pale faces of his subordinates.

"Where have you been!" he hissed, but Kakuzu barged past intent on getting Hidan upstairs to rest. He caught only a few words as their irate ginger leader practically bounced with anger.

"meeting...mission...blah blah" he ranted but the sound of dripping water in the distance and their own steady footsteps eventually drowned him out. It didn't feel good to be home, and as soon as Leader found out about his partner's...condition...there would no more missions for a while. With a heavy heart he watched Hidan climb into their shared bed, shivering from the cold and damp. This was no place to raise a child, he must inform leader-sama...or perhaps Konan would understand. Distantly a prisoner screamed in agony from the confines of the interrogation room and the haunting sound sent a chill down his spine. Could their child really grow up listening to that?

Midnight came and went and still Kakuzu had not left his place by Hidan's bedside. The hideout seemed even emptier now, even more silent. The hushed sound of bats screeching was the only accompaniment to Hidan's soft breathing as he tossed and turned on the bed. Kakuzu moved a hand over his tender skin, ran his touch down Hidan's exposed chest. He felt the plump swollen shape under his fingers as he reached his lover's abdomen and Hidan sighed contentedly in his sleep. The light happy sound mingled with the crooning of the birds high in the rafters and his fear mounted.

What if this all went horribly wrong?


It was a different story at breakfast. Kakuzu awoke alone, finding Hidan downstairs feasting. He was wide eyed and pale in the cold shadow of morning. The priest's hair was a state – unlike his usual self, and he was eating what looked like mustard on toast.

"Er...morning" Kakuzu stifled a giggle and took a place at the charred and dented wooden table. His partner got up to get a jug of water and hurriedly turned his back as someone entered the kitchen. As the cloak swished around him he buttoned it, trying to conceal his own terrible secret.

"Good morn-" Konan began, but her sentence was cut off as she paused to stare at the mess on Hidan's plate. "What the hell" she laughed, "you're eating like a pregnant woman!"

Hidan spun around, dropping and smashing the jug he was holding as his hands raced to his stomach, cradling the growing bump. His eyes narrowed, and his gaze bored into Konan's.

"what?" he hissed

Silence followed. Nobody breathed. Kakuzu clenched his fists under the table. It seemed like the whole day had stopped to watch the impending explosion, that even the faintest sounds had been snuffed out. Konan's eyes travelled down from the Jashinist's angered expression and clenched teeth to the bulge his spread fingers tried to hide. No longer did the cloak hide it and her mouth formed a round O of surprise.

"Hidan – I..." she stuttered, "You have to tell ..." her voice softened and she stopped mid sentence as a solitary tear rolled down his cheek.

"What if I get thrown out?" he whispered, massaging his round belly and staring at it in a mixture of adoration and horror.

"Thrown out for what!" a new voice carried into the room as Pein bowled round the door, half in and half out of his cloak. "Konan we gotta go – there's this new mission, ninjas and bombs and they've even got this new - are you even listening to me?"

Konan had taken his chin in her hand and turned him head to face Hidan who was framed by the counter in a puddle of water and broken china. His hair was wet and drooped like his sullen expression as he awaited his punishment. Kakuzu rose in a split second decision and shuffled through the mess to stand at Hidan side.

"I'll take responsibility for my actions" he whispered hotly into his lover's ear, taking his arm and resting a scared hand on his stomach, feeling the tiny heart beat within.

Sadly, the couple met the eyes of their leader, fully expecting him to order the execution of their child. How could he extinguish this tiny mortal life, still its heart before it had chance to beat outside the body of its father?

"You'll need time off work then" Pein calculated, his expression unreadable, "you can stay in the base, keep an eye on things..."

"Y-you're not gonna chuck me out?" Hidan gasped then doubled over with pain. His stomach was cramping badly. "Shit!" he panted and Kakuzu caught him as he fell.

"Bed" Pein said firmly, and watched them leave.

The next weeks passed in the never ending torment of house arrest. Hidan's stomach grew steadily larger until, much to his horror, he needed help doing practically everything. Deidara laughed and Tobi got confused. The happy couple spent their days doing jigsaws in the lounge or just resting- menial tasks for s-ranked criminals but poor Hidan wasn't capable of much else,

And about that...

"Kakuzu- ah" Hidan panted and shook loose strands of hair from his eyes. It was night, the bonfire-scented air blowing cold onto their skin through the open window. Stars shone high in the heavens and outside the crickets and insects bellowed their buzzing tunes into the darkness. The cool stone room felt many degrees warmer than it had that first night they'd returned and Hidan lay sprawled naked on the sheetless mattress.

Somewhere in the gloom, Kakuzu stood apprehensive, at the end of the bed, just watching for now. His eyes took on a hungry edge as he looked again at his lover, who was slowly and tenderly touching himself. He gripped a stray pillow in one hand and in the other strived to hold his throbbing arousal as the pleasure grew in volume.

"Kuzu..." he moaned again and bucked into his own dirty touch, light fingers running up and down the hard length of Him until his eyes squeezed shut with the effort. Just a bit longer, he was nearly there. His free hand released the pillow and came to rest next to the other, slowly massaging and rolling his balls together. The friction was intense and not once did Kakuzu take his eyes off the sight before him. The mixed pleasure made Hidan growl again, made his muscles tense and his back arch. He groaned his lover's name once more as he shot his seed over himself, the act finally completed. At once a heavy body was on top of him, relentlessly driving and grinding himself into Hidan's hips and pressing maddeningly into his groin. Fevered hands stroked his neck, his full lips then tugged at his hair.

"Hidan I want to..." Kakuzu's deep voice trailed off. Both wondering if it was even possible. Their bodies were hot, rolling and rubbing together, Kakuzu just begging for entrance. Their muscles gleaming and pulsing for each other but one thing stood in the way...

"Fucks sake" Kakuzu cursed, avoiding the domed lump that housed their child, his hands explored lower and parted Hidan's soft flesh. One finger travelled inside, pushing and moving further inside.

"mhm" Hidan encouraged him with non-committal moans and clenched his teeth as inevitably one finger became two. He spread his legs wider, forseeing what Kakuzu planned to do and aching for him to gain entrance. Two hands grabbed harshly at his hips, lifting them higher and moving him into position. With pleasure in every touch Kakuzu rubbed sensually against his lover, gleaning every possible rush from the situation and forcing Hidan to beg,

"fuck me!" he gasped with need, "jus' hurry up and do it already!"

His wish was granted, as slowly Kakuzu pushed himself inside. Hidan screamed instantly, realizing Kakuzu had hit the wrong angle.

"No, no" he panted as Kakuzu pulled out and thrust again,

"Shut up! I can't see a thing with this in the way!" he complained, never halting in his onslaught of power and continuing to pound Hidan ruthlessly.

"Take it easy!" he cried, alarmed, but relaxed as his partner regretfully pulled out.

"I can't do this" he admitted, " a massage is so much safer..."


And so gradually the days turned into weeks, time stretching out until they were sure the birth must be soon. September came around fast in a flurry of baby clothes and hasty name-choosing, the rest of the Akatsuki had put forth suggestions though none were as good as Tobi's:

"I think we should call her Mergaloid!" he chirped, "after my great grandmother!" and the whole organisation fell about, doubled over with laughter. Tobi blushed and even Itachi cracked the briefest of smiles.

Privately, the happy couple tried to agree on a name...

"Saki is a good strong name for a boy" Kakuzu nuzzled into Hidan's hair, enjoying their closeness and peace. "It means point, like the point of a sword"

"Too violent" Hidan disagreed

"Ok" said Kakuzu, growing annoyed, "what about Yasuo?"

"Seriously!" Hidan turned to glare at him, their noses almost touching, "Peaceful-one? We don't want him to turn out a complete Jessie!"

Kakuzu glared, then grabbed the back of Hidan's head and forced their lips together in a dominating kiss. Breathlessly he kissed back, snuggling into Kakuzu's warmth and hiding from the chill when an idea occurred to him.

"Akimitsu!" he cheered

"Born in autumn" Kakuzu mused, "it's perfect!"

On a sunny but cold morning as the leaves spiralled down from the trees outside the cave, Konan walked tiredly into their room, explaining she'd be out all morning so she couldn't help with check ups. Kakuzu was leaning up against the wall, his legs apart with Hidan slumped against his chest. Two pairs of hands rested on Hidan's tummy, and two faces glowed with pride.

"He just moved! He moved did you feel that?" Hidan burst out, grinning

"who says its a he?"

Hidan just laughed,

"Two hearts..." Kakuzu murmured, "the cheeky monkey had two hearts!"

"Kuzu, you" Hidan whispered, meeting the stitch nin's lips in a long deep kiss. Behind the door Konan's eyes grew damp, she'd witnessed something extremely rare. These two never showed affection.

Suddenly Hidan grunted in discomfort and his eyes shone with pain. Konan stared incredulously, IT was happening. She rushed from the room to find Zetsu –an expert on surgery and herbal medicine, leaving Kakuzu to cope with the contractions on his own. Hidan howled in pain as another shock rocked his small body. Sweat broke out over his brow and he gripped his partner's hand tightly, almost breaking his fingers.

" feels like...urgh!" he gasped for breath and his muscles clenched as another contraction shot through him

"How the hell is it gonna come out?" Kakuzu asked worriedly, running a hand cheekily across Hidan's crotch making him moan. He grinned devilishly, repeating the motion and forcing a desperate groan through Hidan's dry lips. It had been ages since...well...

"Stop that both of you!" Zetsu's white side barked as he raced into the room tugging a medical mask over his nose and mouth.

"We cut it out by caesarean" his black side growled dangerously, waving a blade. The father's faces paled and Konan fainted dramatically into Pein's arms. Hidan gripped Kakuzu's hand even harder and begged him to stay.

"The rest of you, leave now" Zetsu commanded with surprising authority as he unwrapped the tools he was going to use. After snapping some gloves onto his disinfected hands he threw a surgical green paper cloak over to Kakuzu, demanding he put it on.

As Hidan practically quaked with fear, Zetsu fed wires into his veins, pumping in drugs to ease the pain and stop the baby going into distress. A similar green paper blanket was thrown over his prone form and he lay still under it, well aware that his swollen belly was exposed. Through the open door he could see the whole of Akatsuki trying to peer through and he smiled back as they waved.

"You'll feel a little pinch" Zetsu's white side muttered as he made the first incision into the womb. Coming to think of it, nobody ever found out how Hidan had grown himself one...It was Akatsuki, you usually didn't ask. Hidan felt a tug at his skin as clamps were put on him to hold the skin taut while Zetsu snipped. It seemed to take forever and so amuse himself he watched Kakuzu's expression as Zetsu carried out the surgery. His lover's face was growing steadily greener with each move Zetsu made inside the priest's stomach.

Four clamps now held him wide open and he listened as the plant-man made non committal noises of encouragement, telling him that so far all was well.

Hidan tried to call out, to comfort poor Kakuzu as he waited pale-faced for the baby to emerge, but his voice had been ruined by the drugs and all the screaming and came out only as a bare croak. He raised a hand, wires protruding from his fingertips, and gripped Kakuzu's scared fingers.

"Not long now...ah!" Zetsu cried and stepped back chuckling as a load of clear fluid shot clear of the bed. Kakuzu almost threw up, this was really putting him on edge. Blood and guts were fine, but wombs and baby fluid he really couldn't stand! He took a deep breath, listening to Zetsu explain that nobody was going to die. How the hell did Zetsu learn to deliver a baby anyway?

"I have many brothers and sisters," he sniffed haughtily, "my mother couldn't very well deliver them by herself could she?"

"Incoming!" The darker half of Zetsu exclaimed, as his hands slipped inside Hidan, fumbling around in the hot wet interior. His expert hands found the baby and carefully pulled it free.

"It's a boy!" Kakuzu yelled as soon as he laid eyes upon his first son, "I'm a dad! You're a dad! We're both dads!!"

Akimitsu just screamed.

Hidan cradled the small pink bundle in his arms after it had been washed, he twitched every now and then as the stitches pulled on his shrinking belly. Kakuzu sat by his side in the bed while the rest of the organisation surrounded them, he was glowing with fatherly pride. Everyone leaned in closer as the small body huffed and opened its big round unnervingly black eyes.

"Woa!" Deidara cried

"So cute!" Pein whispered and Konan looked worried, hoping he didn't wish to follow in their footsteps.

"He has my eyes..." Kakuzu murmured, surprised, and nibbled at Hidan's earlobe whilst taking Akimitsu's tiny hand in his own.

"He's got a few of your...stitches" Hidan said, puzzled, and angled his head, "must have been hereditary"

A few wispy strands of silver hair decorated the baby's head, it looked as if he was going to take to beautiful platinum like Hidan, but whose fighting style would he choose?

"Guys, lets give them some quiet time yeah?" Deidara insisted as Hidan began to look tired, and everybody backed out of their small room.

"I'll give you a few hours to sleep, then I'll be back" Kakuzu comforted his lover and placed a kiss on both his and the baby's forehead before he too walked out.

Silence filled the room. He looked incredulously at his baby sleeping in its blankets on his lap. Who would have thought it? But then again, Lord Jashin-sama worked in mysterious ways. A tear of joy rolled down his cheek and he offered a prayer of thanks. Suddenly an idea occurred to him and he slowly took the rosary off from around his neck, placing it carefully around his baby's head. He sat back and admired the look, it definitely suited him.

That night three sleeping bodies huddled in their bed. The moon glowed softly outside as if surrounded by a ring of ice. A light frost lay upon the grass – the first of the early autumn and distantly a lone wolf howled, the fathers' lay together thinking bashfully that they were alone no longer. Hidan curled facing his lover cradling baby Akimitsu, with Kakuzu the other side with his arm around both of them. His stomach was stitched and was already returning to its normal size – 'thank Jashin' Hidan had cried. Konan had crooned and cooed herself silly by the babies cradle and promised to babysit anytime. She didn't know quite how soon her offer would be accepted...

Kakuzu woke up aching, a whole night spent next to his beautiful uke and nothing had happened. Quietly he slipped out of the shared bed and laid Akimitsu gently in his cradle, giving him a bottle and a blanket or two. He was still fast asleep as Kakuzu wrote the note and placed it beside him,

"little tyke" he muttered and pushed the baby's cot into Konan's room, sniggering all the way. When he returned, Hidan was tossing and turning in his sleep fretfully reaching for the baby. With a cheeky smile Kakuzu leaned down and captured the priest's lips in a morning kiss.

"Wakey wakey" he rumbled and Hidan's purple eyes snapped open. It was a pity the baby hadn't inherited those. Alarmed, he felt two arms wrap around him and pull him down onto the bed. He fell right on top of Hidan who wrapped his legs around his waist, bucking and moaning desperately. Kakuzu lost all self control as he felt something hard rise up his inner thigh, Hidan was rubbing closely against him.

"Oh god" he moaned, and ran his fingers through the priest's damp hair, itching to rip those shorts right off him. The legs around him locked tighter and he felt himself being pressed inescapably into Hidan. The heat was rising and he panted for breath,

"Let's go ...out" he panted, freeing himself from Hidan's grip and taking his lovers hand, leading him across the room.

"Where to?" he asked, confused as Kakuzu made his way across the damp grass outside the cave, then followed the line of the river upstream. Neither of them wore shoes and at this time of the morning the grass was cold and the air carried a biting chill. At least Kakuzu's hand was warm, hot even and gripping his like a vice. Up ahead a dull roar nearly drowned out the songs of the birds and the ground grew spongy and damn beneath their feet, yet still Kakuzu carried on.

Leading his lover carefully though a gap in the rocks they finally came out by a beautiful glassy lake, the water was crystal clear and looked ice cold. A tall waterfall cascaded majestically into the pool, setting a rainbow glittering across the sky.

Before Hidan had time to comprehend the situation, Kakuzu had stripped bare and slipped into the water, gasping at the freezing temperature. Ripples spread out across the lake, making the reeds sway. Hidan eagerly followed, feeling his lover's gaze sweeping his body as he walked naked to the edge of the pool. Painfully slowly he entered the cool water, running wet hands through his hair and making Kakuzu wild.

"Get over here!" he growled, standing up in the deep pool where Hidan's shorter legs couldn't even reach the floor. He swam over, aching to be by his side and clinging to Kakuzu's shoulders. Their bodies touched and once again Hidan legs curled around Kakuzu's stomach. He let out a hot breath of desire and began to move into him, closer and closer. His eyes were half lidded and beneath him he felt his lover rub tantalisingly against his entrance.

"Oh Kuzu" he groaned hungrily and arched his back, begging to be impaled on the stiff rod moving under him. His member felt hot and heavy between his legs, it had to be soon.

"What is it you want?"he whispered darkly, "do you want me in you, moving deep inside you... filling you completely, thrusting into you until you can't even speak"

"Agh..." Hidan moaned, almost letting go just from the thought

"Move" Kakuzu commanded and walked through the water to a shallower place, never releasing Hidan from his grip. The water now flowed around their knees and their dripping chests were subject to the icy cold punishment of the wind. Kakuzu lost no time in positioning Hidan just where he needed him, and they stood just for an instant unmoving. Then the stitch nin thrust forcefully inside and Hidan screamed with pain and desire. His nails dug into Kakuzu's shoulders and he felt the grip around his hips tighten as Kakuzu held him there, moving him exactly how he wanted.

He clenched his teeth as Kakuzu struck forward again, reaching deeper.

"Harder...please" he begged and gasped in surprise when he was dropped to the shallow water, the water encircling his head while hard gravel scratched at his back. They rolled upon the sandbank until Hidan was flat on his back with his lover poised between his wide spread legs. Seductively, Kakuzu took both legs and placed them on his own shoulders before grabbing Hidan's hips again and thrusting forwards with yet more power. He groaned and black mists seemed to cloud the corners of his vision.

"What are you doing?" Kakuzu asked, still inside the warm depths of his partner who seemed to be...changing

"Ah!" he cried, "I – I'm t-transforming" His skin became discoloured and black and white shapes appeared on him – giving him the appearance of the grim reaper. He was glad this was happening, Kakuzu didn't know that after transformations he became...bigger. Much bigger. He moaned again and arched his back, enjoying the tingling feeling the new form left him with. As his own eyes closed in bliss, Kakuzu's became round with surprise and dropped downwards to stare...

"Afraid?" sniggered Hidan, misreading the light in Kakuzu's gaze as fear,

"It would be better for you if I was" he sneered back and surged forwards with renewed strength.

Hidan screamed and writhed in pain and excruciating pleasure, the sand below his shoulders was churned into plain mud as he embraced the agony he'd missed for so long. His swollen manhood throbbed, the skin felt hot against his thigh and inside him he burned with heat and pain. Kakuzu pounded into him over and over, the friction and the stretching, the bruises on his abused hips, the searing hurt electrified him until he was sure any moment he would –

"Ahh! God yes!!" he grunted and screamed as his small body jolted with waves of euphoria, screwing his eyes shut, he spilled his seed over Kakuzu's chest who leaned down over him adoringly. A heartbeat later he gasped again when his insides seemed to glow with fresh heat, Kakuzu moaned above him and sank his hands into the mud as he slumped down.

The couple rested for a minute, just catching their breath, Hidan utterly exhausted and covered in mud and Kakuzu almost dying of a heart attack. All his energy was spent,

"You'd better not want...can't do that...again" he huffed between gulps of air. But this time Hidan had the upper hand. Squirming out from his filthy prison, he slithered on top of Kakuzu's body, straddling his hips and grinding slowly into his sore groin,

"Stay still" he whispered, and drew light fingers over himself while the other hand sought out Kakuzu's own entrance. He shivered slightly from the pleasure and the cold and grinned devilishly as his probing finger found its target. Using only the mud as lubrication he sank first one finger then another into his once dominating partner, relishing the pained expressions that crossed his scarred face.

"On your hands and knees!" he commanded suddenly, then was equally surprised as the stitch nin rolled under him, eager to comply. He too, rose from the floor naked and in control and moved closer to the hot body he was about to claim, to take. He offered no words of warning, no pieces of advice, and without regret or remorse slammed into Kakuzu as if his life depended upon it. The stitch nin screamed, a wanton needy cry that burst out of his throat unbidden. He shook with every thrust and quaked with the sheer size of Hidan, it was near impossible that He'd gotten inside and Kakuzu was feeling every bit of it.

"Stop! Oh god please stop!" he moaned, though both were sure he meant none of it. His fists clenched in the dirt, how was this happening? He was seme! Though, said a small voice, it would have been a sin to waste the effects of that transformation...

His knees were knocking together, and it felt like someone was tearing out his innards. Yet as the tip of his lover's engorged length touched him, finally, in that central spot he felt as if he was going to die from pleasure. White dots danced in front of his eyes and he felt hot semen blast down his legs as he came, hard. He suddenly didn't feel the cold, but distantly heard Hidan collapse next to him, moaning out his name. With an inane smile, he curled next to him, throwing someone's cloak over them and gave in to the blackness of sleep...

In the bushes, Konan rocked the baby once more and Deidara laid the camera aside.

"Wow, have we got enough for blackmail now – un?" the blonde asked but Konan shook her head.

"Blackmail would never work!" she laughed, "Those two are too proud. This is just for me when I get bored babysitting!"

"UN!!" exclaimed Deidara, toppling into a tree in surprise. "Don't let Akimitsu see that!"

No, she wouldn't, Konan promised him. And she kept the promise, though all the years of her life, through all the nights spent watching the baby sleep and all the days watching Kakuzu and Hidan's attempts to train him. He grew into a strong man, fearsome in battle and braver than a lion, someone both his fathers were eternally proud of. And the one thing that annoyed Kakuzu beyond measure?

He never did take that rosary off...

Halleluiah it is done. And no more! Gasps for air, that took me ages, reviews now please, I wanna know what you thought of that ending right there...and the rest of the story really!