DISCLAIMER: I don't own House - never have. Never will. No money here. Don't sue.

AN: Okay, I got distracted away from my other story by this idea. I own Del and in my mind she's played by Stephanie Romanov (Lilah Morgan from Angel). I think she's believable as Stacy's baby sister.

This story was prompted from the fact that the more I watch House - the more I'm convinced House has some pretty compelling reasons to remain the ass that he is. I really don't like Wilson. That being said - everyone will likely be bashed - and I have no idea if anyone is going to end up with anyone else. Or who will end up with whom. Though it's fairly likely that it will happen.


"What do you want House?" It wasn't an unusual question. Nor was this an unusual circumstance. In fact there were times she wondered why she wasn't more paranoid than she was – especially given that more often than not Lisa Cuddy found herself being stalked like prey by the diagnostician. Of course, what was good for the goose was good for the gander as well, so she spent plenty of time stalking him. Mainly to get him to complete his assigned clinic hours, or to prevent him from carrying out one of his more insane treatment plans.

Or at least that was what she told herself.

She'd been expecting a smart ass comment about her ass or her breasts, so what came next surprised her. "Your help." It was delivered in a more serious tone then she expected, but the fact that he wasn't playing on her guilt – 'yet' the more cynical part of her mind provided – caught her attention.

"If you're looking to get out of clinic…" She said warningly as she turned to face him, her eyes narrowing.

"No clinic…" House rolled his eyes. "Not everything revolves around the sniffling noses and idiots down there." He paused. "There's a new pain relief trial starting and I want in…"

Her brow furrowed. "Where? When?" She certainly wouldn't stand in his way but she needed to be prepared for the questions the board would send her way. This was going to be looked at as more catering to House.

"As soon as I'm accepted. You'll probably be asked to administer it here – it's being conducted remotely – as long as you or someone here agrees to be my Doctor for it." He paused for a second. "They'd prefer you – can you imagine – I mean, are you even really a Doctor any more?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "You know for someone who's asking for help…" She shook her head. "Fine, yes, I'll be your Doctor." In actuality she was touched he asked her and not Wilson, Foreman or one of the others.

"That's not all…" House stopped her before she could turn away. "There's another part that I really need your help for… They're sending a shrink." The distaste showed in his face. "They're not just shrinking me – they want to interview my friends…"

"Friend in your case…" Lisa smirked.

"Fungus is more like it…" House retorted. "… but they're also interviewing…"

"His colleagues, friends… Lovers." The southern drawl echoed through the hall as both House and Cuddy slowly turned to face the newcomer. She winked as she moved towards them. "Now since I know what my sister thinks of you, I'll try hard not to hold it against you, Greg."

"Del…" A seldom seen, honest grin took up residence on House's face. "Del Hudson… You're the shrink? I thought you were working for the FBI…"

"Quit when they started calling me Spooky – I'm so much hotter than Duchovney. Besides which profiling isn't much fun, if I want to get into a sociopath's head… Well here I am." Her green eyes sparkled mischievously as she focused on Lisa and leaned in, stage whispering conspiratorially to House. "Now set me up on a date with the gorgeous brunette and you're in..."

Lisa laughed out loud and pulled the other woman into a tight hug. "Just what I needed Stacy's evil baby sister – did you go see your sister?" She ignored the scowl on House's face.

"Now why'd you have to go and bring her up again?" Del feigned a pout as she pulled away from Cuddy. "I was enjoying that hug you know…"

"More action than Cuddles has had in months…" House's scowl changed abruptly to a grin. "I've been personally making sure no one gets their hands on her colossal ass but you…"

"More likely keeping it for yourself…" Del answered his grin with a smirk of her own. "Don't try to fool me, Mister." She slid her hands along her power suit to smooth any wrinkles from the hugs and ran her fingers through her auburn hair, making certain it fell just so.

"Now why would I want it, when I could watch the live hot girl on girl action instead – no more TiVoing L-Word – Del is back in town. Save Wilson and me ring side seats." House waggled his brows. "Now when you're done with Cuddles, I want to introduce you to Cameron – she's your type – dyed her hair 'hooker honey blonde' when she came back. Maybe you could have a threesome…"

"No sugar, that's your type…" Del winked at Cuddy. "And yes, I went and had dinner with big sis and Marky Mark." A shudder ran through her body. "She always had good taste in men until Mark." Glaring at House, she poked him in the chest. "I blame you."

"Now I know you're insane… You think House was a sign of good taste?" Cuddy said only half teasingly.

"If he was a woman, I'd sleep with him." Del contributed with a smirk after looking him over critically. "Hell, I might consider sleeping with him anyway… Things have been a little dry as far as getting some and getting gone lately."

"Hmmm… Decent ass – not as monumental as the she-devil's but it'll do… Like the fun bags…" House eyed her just as critically. "But no, you probably have more man meat than Wilson."

"Well that goes without saying…" The line couldn't have been delivered any straighter. "Just give me permission to interview a few people, and I'll see if I can't get the old cripple off the juice."

"Actually she's just interested in getting me hooked on their juice – so that I have a new dealer. You and Wilson will have to find yourselves some other addicts to supply, Cuddles." House rattled his pill bottle in his pocket.

"Well, that sounds great…" Cuddy rolled her eyes and sarcasm dripped from every word. "I can't make anyone interview with you – but I think most of the people you need to, would do pretty much anything so that he'd be less annoying. Talk to my assistant James and he'll set up a time for us to chat."

"I think I'd need psychotropic drugs to make him less annoying…" Dell waggled her brows. "But go out on a date with me, Lee and I'll see what I can do."

"Tempting…" Lisa had already turned and started walking away, so she smirked over her shoulder at the pair she was leaving behind. "… But your line about getting some and getting gone isn't really luring me across the fence, Del. You two behave."

"I think she's the one who needs psychotropic drugs…" House tapped his cane mischievously on the floor. "… Obviously delusional. So… Strip joint?"

"Sounds like a plan…" Del didn't take her eyes away from Cuddy's swaying hips. "Know any hookers that …"

"Nah… Normally Cuddy'll just put out." House quipped with just the perfect amount of snark. "But for you, we'll call some of my favorite numbers."