It's a short oneshot I thought of writing today. Actually, I'd been meaning to write about that scene since I watched the episode. I thought of maybe writing a couple more chapters later on, but I'm not sure. For now, I'll focus on All The Things We Said and this is gonna be a oneshot. If I can think of a good way to continue this, I may do it. If someone wants me to, of course. But, like I said, that's for later, like a few months from now, maybe. Either way, let me know what you think, ok?
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, and not even most of the scene and the dialogues. Anything you recognize was taken from the season 5 premiere.
Warning: Slash implications, very subtle, but it's still there. Don't like it, don't read it.
Where your heart is
Brooke had gotten home a few hours ago. She was exhausted, and not on one of her best days. So she took a shower and went straight to bed, wanting nothing more than to just sleep and not think about a thing.
She didn't know how much time had passed when she woke up with the phone ringing beside her. The clock showed that it was past 2 in the morning. She was ready to curse whoever was on the other side of the line, and didn't bother to check the id. But when she heard the weak voice of her best friend, she forgot all about sleep and exhaustion.
"Hi, it's Peyton."
Whatever was going on, she knew Peyton was far from ok, just by those few words. And just the fact that she was calling was a big indicator, too. "Hey… what's going on?"
"I'm sorry, I know it's late there, I just..." Peyton sighed and try to suppress her sudden urge to cry. She knew there was no use in calling Brooke and asking her all these questions that, in fact, had no answer. But she needed to talk to someone who would at least understand. And when it came to Peyton Sawyer, no one understood better than Brooke. "What happened to us? You know? I don't know who I am anymore. Or how I got here."
"Honey, what happened? Why are you crying, and where is all of that coming from?" Brooke asked, but her friend didn't seem to be listening. She knew Peyton probably just needed to let it out first, so she kept silent and waited for her to say more.
"I miss who I used to be. I wanna have a home again. And… real friends. You know, the kind of friendships we used to believe in. I miss that. And I miss you", the brunette had to smile, even if at that moment she was worried as hell. She and Peyton hadn't exactly been close lately. They talked over the phone from time to time, but things weren't the same. But she kept telling herself they were both too busy, and things were complicated. They both missed each other, almost too much to put into words. But none of them said it much. "I guess I just miss all of it. Does any of that make any sense?"
Her heart broke for the blonde. Yeah, it made sense. It made so much sense, it scared her. Peyton had always been able to read her mind, and to her it seemed like she'd just done that again. Like she'd broken into Brooke's head, taken all of her feelings and put them into words. Peyton wasn't the only one who missed the way things used to be.
"Yeah, it makes all the sense in the world, Peyton", her voice was sweet, especially when she said Peyton's name. "Four years ago, it all seemed so clear, didn't it? Conquer the world, save the world. Live happily ever after."
"Are you happy, Brooke?"
The question took her by surprise. She walked to her couch, sitting down slowly and trying to get her thoughts in order. Truth was that hearing Peyton's voice that night had been one of the best things she could think of that had happened lately. Few people could get away with waking her up in the middle of the night to talk. And the way she dealt with those people was talking what needed to be talked about, being polite, thanking the skies when they hung up and going back to sleep. Peyton was the only one she could keep talking to, that she wanted to keep talking to, not minding the time of the day, or how tired she was, or how early she had to wake up the next day. She didn't like to think about the girl too much, though. It made her sad that they'd grown apart over the last years. But a little selfish part of her was glad to know she was still the one the other girl chose to call when she really needed to talk to someone. That she hadn't been replaced.
"Sometimes. Not always", she answered, sincerely. "Are you?" It made her feel ashamed, that she even had to ask the person she used to know everything about something like that.
"No", the answer came fast, too fast, she thought. Peyton was crying now on the other end of the line. Brooke felt her heart ache at the realization. She wasn't used to this, and that was probably why they weren't as close anymore. Cause being this distant hurt too much. Hearing Peyton crying through the phone, and not being able to be there and hold her, it was almost too much to take.
"Ok, then let me ask you something. What is gonna make you happy, Peyton?" she attempted to help in the only way she could, through words. "Is it how you look, or the car you drive, or the people you know? Is it money, or celebrity, or power, or accomplishments, because I have all those things", she finally took a deep breath and added her little confession. The confession that something was missing for her, too. "And I don't think it's enough."
"Well, then, what is?"
"Love, I think", this time, the answer came out easily. She even surprised herself, really. And as she kept on going, she tried to avoid her thoughts from running to the only place they went to lately, whenever the word love was spoken. She avoided it, cause she didn't want Peyton to notice. Because she didn't want to influence Peyton into making any decision. She needed to do what was best for her. But, subtly, she tried to give her a clue, or an indication. That she wanted them to be close again. She wanted them to be able to see each other all the time, she wanted somewhere to run to when things got bad, she wanted the arms to curl up in, she wanted to feel safe again. And there was never a safer place to her than Peyton's arms. "And that love can be for a boy or a girl, or a place, or a way of life, or even for family. But where you find it, it's up to you", she stopped and asked the question, hoping to hear the words that would change everything again. She needed that change, perhaps even more than Peyton did. "So where are you gonna find that love, Peyton?"
"I think I need to go home", Peyton's sniffing voice said, bringing a smile to Brooke's face. It wasn't the same, but at least Tree Hill was way closer than LA.
"Yeah, I was hoping you would say that. Tree Hill will be happy to have you there again."
"Brooke?" she continued, after a few moments of silence, "Tree Hill isn't really home… if you're not there, too."
"In that case… I'll see you soon, P. Sawyer", she tried not to let her voice show just how happy Peyton's last words had made her.
Hanging up the phone, she looked around her huge apartment. If five years ago, someone told her that's where she'd be living, she would've thought of herself as the happiest person in the world. But that's only cause, when she pictured it, she'd surely picture Peyton there with her. This image never seemed weird to her. That Peyton would always be there. It made sense, since they were kids. It never made her think it meant something more than it apparently did. Simply meant that she was lucky enough to find a best friend she could actually love completely, that she felt like protecting and taking care of, someone who made her feel safe, a place to run to when there was nowhere else. She knew not many people had a friendship like hers with the curly haired blonde. What they had was definitely special, but could it be more than that? All she knew, though, was that, for now, her friend needed her, and she would be there. She just needed to think of a good plan to get to Tree Hill as soon as possible.
Peyton rested her head back on the couch while she waited for the airline website to load. It still amazed her, after all this time, how well Brooke knew her, and how she could tell exactly what she needed, even after being away for so long. She'd hesitated before calling her oldest friend, mostly because she was afraid of what it was gonna feel like. It wasn't that hard to be away, when they barely talked. But hearing her voice on the phone again, it made the distance almost palpable. People often told her, as soon as she got to LA, that she was too dependant on Brooke, that it wasn't normal. They were best friends, of course it was normal. At least that's what she always said. Some things were just carved in stone. She and Brooke were best friends, they were supposed to always have each other's backs, no matter what. But, with time, both of them realized it wasn't that simple. Life happened, especially to Brooke. It wasn't like she disappeared, but she didn't always have time, neither did Peyton. As the months turned into years, both of them saw that not talking at all, strangely enough, was easier than talking all the time without being able to actually be there for the other. All those times Peyton had heard Brooke's voice on the phone, she knew she wasn't happy, and knowing that she couldn't do a thing to help hurt even more than the distance. In the end, they ended up barely keeping in touch, except for special occasions, or emergencies. Peyton's call changed it all. She couldn't stand it anymore, and she needed her Brooke more than ever. She chose the first available flight, early next morning, and bought a one way ticket. She didn't plan on returning to LA anytime soon.
She got there a little more than an hour before Brooke's flight arrived. That gave her enough time to eat something, or even do some shopping. Except she didn't feel like doing any of these things. She just wanted, needed to see Brooke soon. The hour seemed to drag longer than a whole day till she saw the plane landing. She ran to the gate entrance, cursing all the landing procedures and baggage claim, which seemed to be taking forever. And then, suddenly, she saw her, standing out between everyone else.
Brooke was nervous throughout the entire flight, although she wasn't really sure why. She'd booked a seat as next to the door as possible, so when the plane landed, she was the first to get out. Luckily, she soon found her luggage on the carousel and was out of there as soon as possible.
When their eyes met, they could see their own feelings mirrored in each other's stare. Brooke smiled widely and rushed to the other girl, hugging her as tight as she could.
"I missed you, Brooke Davis", it was all Peyton could say, still refusing to let go. The contact itself had the power to make everything seem better already. They were both there, and that was all that mattered.
"I missed you, P. Sawyer", she was glad to say the words in person, not have to say them over the phone and feel helpless and unable to do a thing. Peyton was right there, and she wasn't going anywhere, either.
Peyton smiled at her friend's use of her nickname, and they reluctantly pulled away. Brooke put both her hands on Peyton's arms and examined her closely. "We're home now. It's gonna be ok."
Peyton had said she wanted to have a home again. And she'd just found hers. She found it the moment her eyes locked with Brooke's. Home. They both knew it was true. Not only because they were back in Tree Hill, but because they were finally together again.