This is my first oneshot. It will stay a oneshot unless…unless I get a huge amount of reviews (hint hint) asking me to write more.
I don't own anything.
Bella's Point of View
The doorbell rang signaling to me that Edward was here. We were going to spend some time together today. Even though we were going to go out and do something, I couldn't help but feel annoyed.
I had been feeling annoyed for quite a while now, and only recently did I discover what was bugging me. It was Edward and his family.
I loved Edward with all of my heart. I would do anything for him and his family, but they have been aggravating me so much lately.
I felt as if I was not a good daughter to Esme and Carlisle. I felt like I was constantly disappointing them in every way possible.
I felt like nothing, like a piece of worthless dirt, whenever I was around Rosalie. She never smiled at me. She acted like she was better than everyone, including myself.
In front of Emmett, I felt like a freak. He was constantly laughing at me. He took joy from my 'humanness.'
I felt like nothing but a Barbie doll to Alice. I felt like she didn't like me except for the fact that I couldn't fight back when she wanted to take me shopping and dress me up.
I felt like I was constantly bugging Jasper with my emotions and my blood. I felt like he wanted me gone but was too nice to say so.
And then there was Edward. I felt like he was constantly catching me when I fell. He was constantly saving me from evil vampires. And he always laughed at me when I fell as if he enjoyed my clumsiness.
I felt low whenever I was around him and his family. They acted superior to me whether they meant to or not. They were constantly on the look out for me, and they always had to show me just how strong and powerful they were.
Never in all of my life did I want to be changed so badly so I could show them that I wasn't just a damsel in distress. I wanted to show them just how strong I was. I wanted to show them that I didn't need to be saved all the time. But Edward refused to change me.
Slowly, I made my way to the front door and opened it. There stood Edward in all his glory smiling down at me.
"Hello love," he said. He leaned in and kissed me softly.
"Hey," I said. "I just have to leave a note for Charlie and then we can go."
Edward nodded and followed me into the kitchen.
I'm out with Edward. I will be back later tonight.
"Are you ready?" Edward asked me.
"Yes," I said quietly. "Where are we going?"
"I thought we could go to the meadow. Is that okay?" He seemed so cautious lately. But I couldn't blame him. I hadn't been acting like my self lately.
"That sounds fine," I said. "Let's go."
Edward tried to take my hand, but I pulled away. "I can walk by myself Edward," I said aggravated.
"O-okay," he said looking confused. "Let's…let's go then."
I led the way outside to Edward's Volvo. He opened my door for me and was in the driver's seat less than a second later. We were off.
I put my head against the window and looked out at the quickly passing trees.
"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked quietly.
"What do you mean?" I asked keeping my eyes on the trees.
"You have been acting…strange…lately. Is anything bothering you?"
I sighed and closed my eyes. "No Edward. I just have a headache."
"Do you want us to stop by the store and get you some medicine?" he asked even though he knew I was lying.
"No. I'm fine."
The rest of the drive was silent. When we finally reached the forest that lead to the meadow, Edward opened my door for me and waited for me to get out.
"Do you want me to carry you?" he asked cautiously.
"No Edward. I can walk by myself."
"Alright," he said with a frown.
We started walking through the forest, Edward leading the way. It was silent, and I preferred it that way. Every time Edward talked, I felt stupid and worthless.
Along the way, I tripped over something, my own feet probably, and began to fall. But of course, Edward caught me. He always did.
I pulled away from him and brushed off my clothes. "You didn't need to do that Edward," I said angrily. "I could have caught myself."
"Just…just nevermind. Let's go."
When we made it to the meadow, we went to the middle and lay down looking up at the gray sky.
"Do you know what I wish?" Edward asked quietly.
"What?" I whispered not wanting to break the peacefulness that I felt for once.
"I wish I could read your mind."
"I'm glad you can't," I said. "I like my thoughts being private."
Edward sighed. "Bella, could you please just tell me what's bothering you?" he asked propping himself on one elbow.
"I don't want to tell you Edward. It would only hurt you."
"I won't get hurt. I promise."
"You can't promise that Edward. You don't even know what it is."
He sat up and leaned over me looking into my eyes. "Bella, I will not get hurt. Please just tell me."
Slowly, I sat up and looked at the ground. "It's just…I feel…" I couldn't say any more. I didn't want to hurt Edward by telling him I was aggravated with him and his family.
"You feel what?" he asked.
"You're going to get hurt," I said quietly.
Edward took my face in his hands and forced me to look up into his eyes. "Bella, I want to know what is bothering you. I will not get hurt. Please tell me."
I couldn't resist his eyes. That was another thing that aggravated me. Why couldn't I dazzle him like he dazzled me?
"Fine," I groaned. I twisted out of his grip and stood up. I started pacing. "Edward, you and your family…you have been aggravating me for a while now," I said matter-of-factly.
Edward looked up at me confused. "Okay…"
"I feel…I feel like I am not a good daughter to Esme and Carlisle," I said quietly.
"Oh Bella," Edward said standing up. He tried to take me into his arms, but I pulled away.
"You wanted to know what was wrong Edward. Now just listen."
"O-okay," he said sitting back down. I sat down with him and looked into his eyes.
"Edward, I feel like all I do is disappoint Esme and Carlisle. I am not good enough for them." Edward's eyes showed anger. He wanted to tell me that I was more than good enough, but he knew better than to interrupt me. I kept going.
"I feel like nothing but a piece of dirt around Rosalie," I said still looking into Edward's eyes. "I feel so small and worthless around her. I feel like a freak around Emmett. He laughs over my humanness, and I hate that." It was all coming easier now. I stood up and continued talking. "I feel like nothing more than a Barbie doll to Alice. I feel like she only likes me because I can't fight back. I feel like I am bugging Jasper with my blood and emotions, but he is too nice to tell me to leave."
Edward stared at me stunned to silence. He cleared his throat and whispered, "And me?"
"And you," I said quietly. "You are always having to save me from something, whether it be an evil vampire or a little pebble that decides to trip me. I feel so worthless in your presence Edward."
He tried to interrupt, but I stopped him. "Please listen to me Edward. For once, just listen."
He nodded slightly telling me to continue.
"I feel worthless in your presence Edward. You are so beautiful and I am just an ugly human. You dazzle me to no end, and I have no effect whatsoever over you." Tears started falling down my face. "You and your family are so strong and powerful, and you are always showing that. You are always showing me just how weak and useless I am by catching me when I fall or by saving me from evil vampires."
"I want to show you how strong I can be Edward, but you never give me the chance. You and your family never give me the chance. And the worst part is that I am always the damsel in distress. If you catch me or save me, I am the damsel. If you let me fall and hurt myself, I am the damsel. I am always the damsel Edward."
I took a deep breath through my tears and continued. "I want to be a vampire like you Edward. I want you to change me so I can be strong like you. I want you to change me so I can be beautiful, so I can stop being the damsel in distress."
"Bella, I can't change you," Edward said quietly. He sounded pained. "I can't damn your soul. I can't put you through that kind of pain."
"So you would rather me feel worthless the rest of my life? And don't give me that crap about you not having a soul," I said angrily. "You have a soul and you know it. You are just too stubborn to admit it."
"No Edward. Just drop it okay? You asked what was wrong, and I told you. Obviously you don't care about how I feel, so just drop it okay? Let's just go."
I started walking away but found myself tripping over a tree branch. Edward was about to catch me, but he thought better of it. He watched as my ankle went one way and my body went the other way. I fell to the ground scraping my hands and knees in the process.
"I'm sorry Bella!" Edward exclaimed kneeling next to me. "I was going to catch you, but I didn't think you would want me to."
I closed my eyes and bit my lip to keep the cry of pain from escaping my mouth. "It's fine Edward," I said through clenched teeth.
I stood up slowly but immediately fell again. My ankle seared with pain making it so I could not walk.
"What's wrong Bella?" Edward asked anxiously.
"It's nothing Edward. I just hurt my ankle," I said.
Edward bent over my ankle to look at it. He examined it for a second and looked at me sadly. "I think you broke it Bella. I need to take you to Carlisle."
I closed my eyes and nodded slowly. "Okay."
"Can…can I carry you? I don't think you should be walking on that ankle," Edward said cautiously.
"It's not like I have much of a choice," I said bitterly. "Just carry me."
Carefully, Edward picked me up and ran to the car. He put me in and we were driving away in less than a second.
I put my head to the window and looked out at the quickly passing trees. Quietly, bitterly, I whispered, "Damsel in distress yet again."
Review please! Tell me if you want more or if I should just keep it a oneshot.