Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Now before you guys bombard me with questions; I mixed this chapter with the prologue. Since I just wrote this on a whim, I didn't really think the plot through. So I decided instead of having this, and going back, that I am just going to leave off where she is about to kill herself.

Sorry for the confusion. PM me for any questions

Song of the chapter: Welcome to my life. By simple Plan. For the full effect, I would put on this song.

I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. It was just always there. It was unstoppable. I've tried everything that I can think of to fit in. I have joined clubs, sports, anything to meet new people. But it never works.

Its like I was made to be ignored. Its so hard to know that there is nothing to live for. I cant even describe the pain it has caused me. Feeling so worthless all the time, it is un bearable. And eventually it became just that; it was to the point that I could no longer continue to live like this. Something needed to change.

I wish I had just one person. Any person. Girl, boy, friend, boyfriend, it didn't matter. Just anyone. Someone to turn to when I needed a shoulder to cry on. But I had no one. I was completely, and utterly alone.

All I could do was sit and watch the world pass me by. I would watch in envy as I saw any normal, any happy person have fun. I wish I could have fun. Its like I was a complete waste of time. A waste of space.

I just don't see why it was so impossible to love me. Sure, I mean my parents were there, but its not like I could talk to them. No, they were too busy for that. Like I said, I was a waste of time.

Its not fair. I know, I know. Life isn't fair right? It was fair to everyone else, I was the only exception.

Now you might think I am being a little dramatic. But the truth is, I'm not. I'm really really not. Sure, I have never been abused, or sexually harassed. I've never been without food, or a house. And I've had to go through some really hard times. But I've also never been wanted, or cared for. I've never been loved or had anybody to count on. And I've been through more emotional tragedy's then you can even imagine.

But I'm sure you guys don't want to hear about that right now. That's for later.

I am getting ahead of myself; and for that, I am truly sorry.

My name is Isabella Swan, but I prefer to be called Bella. I live in Forks, Washington; where nothing, and I mean NOTHING ever happens. Well, at least to me it doesn't. I am not ugly, but I'm not anything special either. My parents are divorced, I live with my dad, Charlie, while my mother Renee lives in Phoenix, Arizona. I used to live with my mom, but then she met Phil.

Now, I don't have anything against Phil. He just took my mother away. We used to be the best of friends. I could tell her anything, and everything. She was the only one I could count on.

That was before she met him. When he was suddenly in the picture, my mom didn't have time for poor Bella. No, she was to wrapped up in the glorious feelings of love.

Bullshit. There is no such thing as love. Love gives someone the power to break you. All love is, is a mixture of lust, and infatuation. You may think your in love, but your not. People think that their in love when their lonely, and they want something new to do. But all it is, is setting yourself up to get disappointed.

You cant count on anyone but yourself. I promise you that. People will only be there for a short period of time. But eventually, they to will be gone. Sure, you think that you have such great friends, or a sweet, caring boyfriend. But they don't care. They couldn't care less. They are in it, because something about you, is convenient for them. They are selfish. When you need them most, they will not have your back.

I can guarantee that.

Sure, there is the occasional person that you believe that you can trust. A friend, family member, boyfriend. But eventually, they will drift away.

That's why, you don't set yourself up thinking that its going to work out. That this time is going to be different. Because it wont be. It never is.

You can only depend on yourself.

My heart races just thinking about what I'm about to do.

I turn the radio up for one last song.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don't belong,

And know one understands you.

For some odd reason this song comforted me. I don't know why though. Maybe it was the fact that it was practically the soundtrack of my life. I can always relate.

Do you ever run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room?

With the radio on turned up so loud,

That no one hears you screaming.

I Listened to the lyrics, as the tears silently fell.

No you don't know what its like,

When nothing feels alright.

No you don't know what its like,

To be like me.

It was true. Nobody could relate to me. I was absolutely, utterly alone.

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark,

To be kicked when your down, and feel like you've been pushed around,

To be on the edge of breaking down, and no one's there to save you,

No you don't know what its like, welcome to my life.

It just isn't fair. What did I ever do to deserve this? I'll tell you what, nothing. I. didn't. do. ANYTHING! It just not fair.

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more?

Before your life is over.

I would. I would do absolutely anything to feel included. But of course, life doesn't work that way. I will forever be unhappy.

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With they're big fake smiles, and stupid lies,

While deep inside your bleeding.

Nobody knew. Nobody cared. They didn't care if I lived or died. Nobody would miss me.

No you don't know what its like,

When nothing feels alright.

No you don't know what its like,

To feel like me.

I am just so miserable. I cant take it anymore.

To feel hurt, to be lost, to be left out in the dark,

To be kicked when your down, to feel like you've been pushed around,

to be on the edge of breaking down, and no one's there to save you

No you don't know what its like.

Welcome to my life.

I was broken beyond repair. It was way too late to save me.

No one ever lied straight to your face,

No one ever stabbed you in the back,

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay.

Everybody always gave you what you wanted.

You never had to work, it was always there.

No you don't know what its like,

What its like.

I tried. I tried to do everything I could for it not to end up like this; but in the end.. I just couldn't take it anymore.

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark.

To be kicked when your down, to feel like you've been pushed around,

To be on the edge of breaking down and no ones there to save you

No you don't know what its like

You know; the strongest of people can only get piled with weights for so long. Its only a matter of time before they collapse. Now was my time.

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark,

To be kicked when your down, to feel like you've been pushed around,

To be on the edge of breaking down and no ones there to save you

No you don't know what its like

Welcome to my life.

I was only delaying the inevitable. As much as I hoped, nothing was ever going to change. My life wasn't a fairytale, I had no happy ending.

Welcome to my life.

Welcome to my life.

Welcome to my life.

As the song came to an ending, I knew that I could not delay it any longer. It was time.

It was time to end this stupid game once and for all. I was actually kind of looking forward to it. It would be a big relief.

So I grabbed the keys to closet, in my dads bedside drawer.

I took a deep breath as I raised the gun to my head.

I, Isabella Swan, am no more.

Now, I just wrote this on a whim.. So please tell me if you like it. If not, well then, I wont continue.

For future reference, this story will have Edward in it.

Also, I know this is depressing, and to be honest that is how a good portion of the story will be. But at the same time, It is intriguing.

Okay so this is kind of a prologue. But I'm only saying that because it is not the end of the story, unless you would like a sequel. I can either make this a really long story, or have two slightly shorter stories. Watcha think?

Again, And I know every author says this, but please review! I wont know if you guys think that i should continue if you don't.

Also, I am really sorry if there are any errors. I have no beta as of now, and there's not much i can do. But... If you are interested let me know PLEASE!!

Love always,


Megan9688