Shiraishi knew that his team was insane. It was a fact – one only needed to spend a day with them; heck, one only needed to play against them once and one would leave shaking one's head over their insanity.
Then again, he was their buchou. That had to say something about him.
"Shiiiiraaaaiiiiiiishiiiiiii…" moaned Kintaro, tugging at the brunette's sleeve. "Talk to me…"
Shiraishi glanced at his team's (almost) unbeatable ace and got a mild shock. The normally uber-hyper freshman had drooping eyelids and his body seemed to be hanging on air. "… Why? Can't you talk to the others? I'm kind of busy right now." He gestured at the paperwork littering his table. Being a buchou always guaranteed plenty of paperwork, and with Coach Watanabe being the lazy bum that he was, it meant that Shiraishi had rather more than the usual amount of the stuff.
"Go see," said the redhead, pointing out of the captain's office that granted Shiraishi some measure of protection from his crazy teammates. With not a little trepidation, the buchou peered out of the door into the regular's clubroom.
"Oooh, that little boy is so cute!" In an attempt to get a better look at the unfortunate freshman who'd just walked past the window with a basket of balls, Koharu pushed his glasses up his nose – only to get them knocked off by Yuuji, who was wielding a water bottle with vengeance.
"Stop it, Koharu. You just want to get Yuuji's attention, don't you?" scolded Kenya, facepalming.
Zaizen sniffed. "Che, Koharu-sempai is so despo man."
Chitose, who was lounging against the wall, chuckled. "Better not to have said that, Zaizen."
The reason behind his statement was obvious – Yuuji had tears in his eyes. "K-Koharu, did you really go through all that for m-my attention? I'm so touched… I promise I'll make it up to you for hitting you! Will you forgive me?"
"Yuuji!" cried Koharu, also tearful. "Of course I forgive you!"
Groans filled the clubroom as Shiraishi hurriedly retreated back into his room – well, more like a cubicle than a room, really – to avoid witnessing yet another public display of affection between his D2 pair. Not that he'd never seen it before, but he did like to think of himself as innocent, and thus he tried to keep his eyes from burning too often even though it was often unavoidable.
"Okay, now I see why you decided to come in here," he sighed, though he privately thought Kintaro would have greatly enjoyed the show more than his company. "So what did you want to talk about?"
"You're really going to talk to me?!" Kintaro suddenly perked up dramatically. "YAY!! I GOT SHIRAISHI-BUCHOU TO –"
Shiraishi facepalmed. He really should have known better, but Kintaro didn't normally have very good acting skills – it was natural that he'd been fooled. "Right, right, Kin-chan, calm down. If you don't have anything sensible to say, then you can go out and join the other psychos we call our teammates out there in the clubroom."
The redhead pouted. "But I do have something to say!"
"Is it sensible?" asked his buchou.
Kintaro continued as if he'd never been interrupted. "I wanted to ask you why Hanajima-sensei says that it's impossible for there to be bones in an egg!" he rushed out excitedly.
When one was the buchou of Shitenhouji's tennis team, one had to learn to take such random remarks in one's stride. Shiraishi was proud that the statement only stumped him for three seconds. "Why do you think it is possible, Kin-chan?"
"Causecausecause you see if there's a chick inside the egg then the chick has bones and that's why there'd be bones inside the egg!!" explained Kintaro, talking so fast that the brunette had to process the statement for a moment or two before he really understood what he'd said.
The buchou sighed. "Tell me, Kin-chan, how many eggs have you seen with chicks inside? None, right?"
"Yes, but I might see one!" he defended. "They showed one on the farming documentary on TV last night!"
"Hm? Kin-chan, you actually watch documentaries?" Chitose stood in the threshold, grinning lazily. "When did you get a brain?"
"Kin-chan got a brain? Whose did he steal?" inquired Zaizen, peering around his sempai – well, he couldn't really peer over, Chitose being that much taller than him.
Once again, the small redhead pouted. "I always had a brain!"
"You just didn't use it much, ne?" teased Yuuji, who, with Koharu, had also joined the group outside the door. Bending down, he pretended to peer into their freshman's ear. "I can see the light on the other side, Kin-chan. You don't even have the usual grey matter."
Just then, a loud groan – actually, a cross between a groan and a growl – sounded from behind them and everyone turned to see what had happened.
Kenya was glaring at his cell phone in extreme displeasure. "My memory card has apparently crashed. Does anyone have a spare?"
"Nope," said Chitose cheerfully. "Mine's completely taken up by crap, crap and more crap. The one in my brain, that is."
Kenya switched his glare to the tall boy. "I need a memory card – for my phone, you idiot. Don't horse around. It's crashed, for Kami-sama's sake."
"Imagine," Kintaro piped up, "what if your memory card – as in the one in your brain – crashed?"
"Mine already did," Chitose reminded him. "It's now under repair."
Shiraishi chuckled. "Not very effective repair shop, is it?"
"Well, I sent mine for repair several times," said Chitose thoughtfully. "But you see, the repair shop is always closed… so they keep delaying my repairs – and in the meantime, they keep my memory card." Upon finishing, he beamed around at the others. "I suppose it does provide an explanation my nuttiness."
"It certainly does," replied the buchou wryly as the rest of the team roared with laughter. "And now look what you've done – you've transferred your nuttiness to everyone else."
"Oh, but nuttiness is a gift," explained the other boy, mock-serious. "It is something reserved for only a certain exclusive group of people known as 'psychos'. The uninitiated consider this title to be a derogative term, but it is in fact extremely liberating, as all us psychos know."
Zaizen pretended to clutch at his head in pain. "Sempai, there were way too many big words in there for us to comprehend."
"You say that, but you just used one yourself," Chitose countered.
"Mou, I didn't understand what you said earlier about the psychos!" complained Kintaro. "Why were you talking in English? My English is bad! Why can't you use Japanese?""
For the second time in a few minutes, everyone (excluding Kenya, who was still grumpy about the crashing of his cell phone memory card, and Gin, who was at the moment answering the call of nature) burst out laughing. "K-kin-chan," choked Shiraishi, "he was using Japanese."
Late that night, Shiraishi lay in bed and contemplated on the day's events. He had argued with Kintaro over the possibility of eggs having bones inside them. He had listened to Chitose explain his attempts to repair his 'memory card' and his thesis on how nuttiness was actually a gift. At the very memory, he felt his lips stretch in a grin.
Suddenly an idea popped into his head. Reaching for his own cell phone, he pressed two and then speed dial. "Chitose?"
"Na, Shiraishi, why are you calling at such an unholy hour?" The voice carried no heat despite the rather harsh words.
"I just wondered if you ever realized that food and craziness have an inexplicable link," said Shiraishi.
Chitose yawned. "Interesting… elaborate?"
"Well, did you notice that the words 'nutty', 'bananas' and 'crackers', all of which are foodstuffs, can all also mean craziness of some form?" inquired the brunette. 'It's actually quite a thought-provoking concept, don't you agree?"
"Sure is. But y' know, I think I'd be more enthusiastic about this if I were awake," the other boy pointed out, yawning again. "Tell me again tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay. Oyasumi." He put the phone down and pulled his arms under the covers again.
Why had he even thought of that – or rather, why had he suddenly noticed that? The insanity of his teammates really was rubbing off on him. It just confirmed his status as the buchou of Shitenhouji.
A/N: Aimless and pointless, but it happens to be a birthday ficcy for Shiraishi Kuranosuke!! Please review, nya! It's also my first attempt to write entirely about Shitenhouji, not just using them as side characters. Hopefully they aren't too OOC.
The thing about the bones inside an egg came from Chinese class a loooong time ago… can't remember if it was the teacher who mentioned it or if it came up while sfetz and me were talking. And the 'brains under repair' came from an MSN conversation with sfetz and Roxxane Sanders. (screen names, everyone.) Yup, I credited, so don't complain ne? XD
PS. Oyasumi means something like 'good night'.
And lastly… Otanjyoubi omedetou, Shiraishi!! (happy birthday, Shiraishi)