A/N – So this is the final chapter! I hope everyone enjoys it and leaves a final review!
Thanks: othfan326, dolcegrazia, pink5288, princetongirl, Mosie1213, Erika x3, lusciiousx3hsm, Brucasforever09, brucas3, TeamxxBrucasxx, tanya2byour21, Brucasfan23, and brucas333. Thanks so much!
(Oh, just to let you know: there are a couple of flashbacks in this chapter (2 to be specific…each at completely different times, which I think you'll be able to figure out.) And I also skipped a few years at one point, but I do point that out in the chapter, so don't worry about that! Okay, enjoy it and review it!)
Searching For What We Lost
Chapter 16 -
"Brooke." He spoke cautiously, careful not to alarm his wife. "What are you doing in here?" He asked, letting his eyes wander and take in the room. Blue painted walls, murals of basketball courts.
It was Alex's room.
"I'm thinking." Brooke stated simply, motioning for Lucas to take a seat and join her on their deceased son's bed. "I'm not…" She paused to take a deep breath. "I'm not sure I want to clean out this room just yet. I feel like if I do, then I don't know, maybe all the memories will be gone. They'll just disappear. And I don't want that to happen. This room is like a piece of him that I'm just holding on to."
Lucas nodded and wrapped an arm around her small body. "I understand. We have other rooms to choose from…we don't have to put the new baby in this one." At the mention of their unborn daughter, he placed hand on Brooke's stomach, rubbing it affectionately.
"I know." She whispered. "I know…but on the other hand…I think I need to do this. Every time I walk by here, I swear, Luke, my heart just breaks into even tinier pieces. And I know that that's part of feeling the pain and it's normal, but I just don't know if I could bear it any longer."
"Clearing this room out, painting over the walls, refurnishing it…it's not going to change anything, Brooke. His memory will always be here, whether the walls are painted blue or pink, with basketballs or flowers. This room will always be Alex's first."
"You're right." She sighed, leaning into his body. "It'll be for the best."
"The painters are coming tomorrow. I'll start clearing the room out later." Lucas replied, kissing her head. "For now…I just want to sit here and hold you until you feel better."
The second Brooke heard the shrilling sound of crying come from their newborn, she knew that all of their hard times, all days left wallowing, left feeling depressed, were over. Because this was their new beginning, and that was all that mattered.
It didn't mean that they'd never feel that pain again, because it was pretty obvious it'd always still be there. It'd always remain when they'd pass their backyard and take notice of the small basketball hoop as memories of their son enjoying the game would be remembered. It'd remain every April, the month of his birthday. And it'd remain every September, the month he died.
That pain, those memories, would forever be embedded in their lives; it was inevitable.
But their new beginning meant they would have something good to look forward to; like spending the rest of their life with their beautiful new daughter. She would be their new reason to live.
"We're going to be okay now, pretty girl." Lucas leaned in, whispering in her ear.
She nodded with a smile, beaming down at their daughter wrapped in a pink blanket. "I know."
The door creaked before them and in came Nathan, Haley, and Jamie, each carrying balloons, teddy bears, and other assorted items purchased from the hospital's gift shop.
"Hey, guys." Lucas smiled and got up from the bed where he sat with Brooke to give the other Scotts all hugs.
After receiving a hug from his uncle, Jamie walked up to Brooke with a warm smile. "Hey, aunt Brooke. How's my baby cousin doing?"
"She's doing great. How 'bout you come up here next to me…I think she wants to meet you."
"Really?" He asked excitedly.
"So." Haley walked over to Brooke with Nathan and Lucas following behind. Lucas walked past his two friends and back to his wife, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "What's the decided name?" Haley asked.
"Well." Brooke started, and stopped to give the baby's forehead a kiss. "I got a little help from my buddy Jamie over here." She smiled at the young boy and mouthed a thank you to him. "Her name is Alexandra Haley Scott. Alexandra is for Alex, that way one day when she's old enough we'll be able to tell her how special her name is." Brooke explained and looked over to Lucas next to her who smiled. "And of course Haley, for my best friend who has helped me tremendously." Brooke finished, looking towards Haley who had tears in her eyes.
As Brooke looked around the room of smiling faces, she realized this truly was her new beginning. She was getting the chance to make everything better.
And so far, it was working.
Five years later –
"Go on, Ally. Me and daddy will be with you in a minute." Brooke said to her five-year-old watching her walk to a gravestone before turning around to face her husband.
"Brooke…what's on your mind?" Lucas asked, taking her hand in his.
"I don't know." She shook her head. "It's stupid but…every time we take her here I just feel like maybe we shouldn't have told her so young. I mean, she was the one that asked, but I don't know. I feel like by telling her what happened we scared her or something."
"I know Ally's young, but she seems fine. She likes coming here to talk to him." Lucas reassured her.
Brooke nodded. "So you don't regret telling her a few months ago?"
"No. I feel that she deserves to know about her brother. It's fine, Brooke…She's fine. I mean, look at her." Lucas gestured towards Alexandra who sat cross-legged in front of the grave, playing with the flowers she'd placed in front of it.
"Hey, big brother." They heard her say.
"You're right." Brooke told Lucas. "You're right." She smiled, proud to have raised such a great little girl. She took his hand as the two walked over to their daughter; glad in those small moments they all got to be a family.
Nearly six years ago that had been impossible. They were broken and dysfunctional and just a mess. But they had searched for their happiness, their bliss, their acceptance. And they had found it.
"Ally! What did mommy tell you about going through her things?" Brooke, hands on hips, walked into her bedroom to find her four year old sitting on the floor with small boxes she must've dragged out from her mother's closet.
Brooke noticed Alexandra didn't move, yet instead was staring at a picture.
"Alexandra, what are you looking at?" She asked as she advanced towards her daughter.
Alexandra turned around to face her mother and held up a small picture. "Who is he, mommy?" She pointed to a small blonde boy that stood next to her cousin Jamie. "Next to Jamie, who is that?"
"Ally, honey…"Brooke spoke, but turned around at the sound of Lucas stepping in the room. "Luke…" She spoke in a whisper.
At first Lucas was confused. What was going on? But as he walked closer to his daughter and saw the boxes of pictures on the floor it was impossible for him not to know what was happening.
"It's okay, Brooke."
Brooke took a deep breath, not quite ready or quite sure of what to do next. She took a seat next to her daughter and asked Lucas to join them as she picked up Alexandra, placed her in her lap, and took the picture from her hand.
"Ally…" She began and looked at Lucas for support.
"That was Alex." Lucas said.
"Alex?" The little girl looked up at her parents for further explanation.
"Yes, honey. Alex." Brooke nodded, hugging Alexandra tighter. "And he would've been the best big brother ever."
A/N – And that's the story! I hope I wrote a good final chapter for you all!
Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story, it means a lot! I know it wasn't easy because this story was pretty sad and I did leave some pretty mean cliffhangers every now and then, but I hope it was worth it!!
Whether you've been reading from the start or have just started to read, please leave a final review!!
Thanks so much!!