Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except Mr. Snuggerdoodleswitch!


I just had the greatest idea! I'm going to start my own fan club! For myself!

And I know the perfect person to be my president!

I sat at my desk, and pulled out my pink cell phone! (Don't mock Jeffery! He's very manly!) I went through my contact's until I got to her phone number. I pressed 'send'.

"Hey, Bella's Bff! I want to start a Fan Club for myself, and I wanted you to be the President, 'cause I don't know how to start a club and stuff." I said to her, in my super-hot voice.


"Good. And from now on, you will say "OH MY EMMETT!" not "OH MY CARLISLE!", okay? Good. Now, the club will be called The I Love Emmett Cullen Fan club! So get a staff from or whatever. I want everyone to know that I have Fan girls too! NOT JUST EDWARD!"

"But Edward rocks!"


"Oh, n-not a-as m-much as you!" She stuttered.

"That's better. Now get your staff!"

"YES MAM- I MEAN SIR!" I hung up, and leaned back on the chair, putting my feet on the desk.

But then it broke.

"EMMETT CULLEN WAS THAT ANOTHER CHAIR! THAT'S THE SECOND ONE THIS WEEK!" Esme screamed. Scaring me to fricken death and I screamed (a very manly scream)-

"EMMETT YOU SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!" Stupid Edward. He's just jealous of my cool manly screams.

"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A PRUDE!!" I screamed back.


"I HAVE MORE FANGIRLS THAN YOU DO!" I screamed back, running into his room, and tackling him to the ground.





Esme pulled us apart and screamed at us, "WHERE IS MY WINDEX?!"

Poor Esme. She's finally lost it.

"I HAVE NOT LOST IT!" She screamed.

"Wait... I said that out loud?" I asked.

"No Esme can read minds now, too!" Edward said (AN: Sarcastically).

"NOOOO!!" I screamed running to my room. I grabbed Mr. Snuggerdoodleswitch, and ran to my closet.

I wrapped myself into a ball, and rocked in circles "Not Esme, not Esme. No privacy. Need mind to be safe from alien invaders..." I muttered.

"HA! EMMETT SUCKS HIS THUMB!" Edward screamed.

"DO NOT!" I quickly pulled my thumb out of my mouth.

He's just jealous of my manly thumb sucking.

"Oh my-" Edward started.

"LANGUAGE!" Esme screamed.

What do you think? Hate it? Love it? Somewhere in the middle? The worst thing you've ever read? Should I continue? If you want to part of the I Love Emmett Cullen Fan Club, then tell me in the review. You will be part of the next chapter! (If anyone wants one) The next chapter, if there is one, will be the first Club Meeting!