This is a companion piece to Combustion in the Study. It's in Bella's point of view and it's between Edward and Bella. I know a couple of you requested that it be Bella and Jasper but I'm a firm believer in the fact that Bella would want Edward to be her first time, and no one else.
I own nothing!
It had been a two weeks since I had gotten Jasper to "help" me out. Edward had come back since that time and, true to my word, I hadn't breathed a word to him. I was pleased to know that Jasper had also kept up his end of the bargain, since it was apparent Edward didn't suspect a thing. I was nervous the first day they came back from hunting, terrified that Alice had seen what had happened in a vision, but Jasper had pulled me aside and assured me that it wasn't possible.
Edward and I were currently lounging in the meadow, his arm was my pillow and I was playing with the button on his shirt. I sat up to look at him, my Adonis, and my heart skipped a beat. Hearing the betrayal of my spastic heart, he cracked an eye and shot me my favorite crooked grin. I couldn't help it, I melted. Damn him, who does he think he is?! Stupid, dazzling, godlike vampire. I was berating my ability to think coherently when he was suddenly pulling me onto his lap.
"Love, you seem distracted today. Tell me why…please?" He whispered, his breath cool against my neck.
"Bella, please. It's so frustrating not knowing what it is that you think." He chastised
I grinned to myself, I might think I'm a freak, but I'm extremely happy he couldn't read my thoughts. Especially now, I couldn't help it! I'm a teenager for god's sake! And my boyfriend…no, scratch that; fiancée, was a Greek God. I turned to look at him, his eyes had turned dark again, and for some strange reasons, fire leapt in my lower belly.
"I was just thinking how wonderful it's going to be to, you know…finally be with you." I said, while blushing…of course; how I hated my blood sometimes.
He clucked his tongue and put his hand to my cheek, cupping it gently. "Bella, I can't either. I'm just scared that I would hurt you. You mean too much to me and I…I-I couldn't stand to look at myself if I ever hurt you. You're my everything. My sun, my moon, my stars…my life. I love you, Bella."
His eyes burned into mine as he spoke his words, and I couldn't help but fall even more in love with him; if that was possible. He placed his lips on mine then, sending chills and fire throughout my body. I broke the kiss off, knowing all to well that if it continued he'd just get angry with me for "pushing his control". Ugh…he drove me crazy sometimes. I wasn't kidding when I had told Jasper that I was going to spontaneously combust one day, not at all. I had so much pent up sexual frustration running through me that sometimes, I was afraid to leave Edwards room after he gave me a too persuasive kiss, knowing all too much that his family would be able to feel it.
I looked down at my hands folded in my lap, I knew it was crazy, especially after what he had just told me; but I still felt rejected after he told me "no". I heard him sigh, and lean into me body, burying his face into my hair to get my scent. The scent that he loved so much, the scent…the reason he couldn't be with me intimately. Just in case he lost control and bit me to get to my "delicious" blood. Heat flooded my cheeks as he ran a finger along the waistband of my jeans and I swear I could hear him chuckle. Oh yes, how I hated my blood sometimes.
"Fine, if that's the case then you can't touch me at all until the wedding" I told him in anger.
He looked at me, confusion and shock swept across his face until finally, he settled with amusement. Well, that's just enough to piss me off even more I thought to myself.
"I'm serious Edward Cullen, if it's not okay for me to touch you in that way…then you can't touch me…that way"
"Bella, I ju-"
"NO! You know what? Every time I try to kiss you and I mean really really kiss you, you look at me like I'm a child that needs to be scolded. Every time I go to touch your chest you pull away and shake your head no. Well you know what?! What makes you think that its okay for you to touch me in such manners that gets me all worked up? Huh?" I was fully aware of how ridiculous I sounded, and Edward's eyes were already so dark that I could see the red in my cheeks intensified by my anger.
I pulled myself out of his lap and stalked away, sitting on an old tree stump as my fury was bubbling uncontrollably. I watched as he sat there, his head in his hands, and I instantly felt my anger melt into guilt. Here he is, announcing his love for me and how he just wants to make sure that I'm alright…and I yell at him because I'm going to need a cold shower when I get home. I sighed deeply, hating myself for the undeniable pain I had given him. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to walk over and fall to my knees while begging for forgiveness. I almost did - almost.
Instead, I got up and started walking back to my truck. I could hear him walking behind me, he even caught me a couple times when my shoe would catch on god knows what; but he would always let me go, and I'm sure that I never once said thank you. When we got back to the "heap of metal" that Edward hated but I loved, I realized that Edward had my keys. I took a deep breath and climbed into the passenger seat, looking out the window and saying nothing at all as he started the truck and drove home. I still said nothing to him as I opened my door and stepped out; I simply put my hand out and let him place the keys in my palm. I noticed that he was being careful not to touch me too often, and although it hurt me…ultimately, I had asked for it.
We stood there, inches apart, I don't even know for how long before I told him that he should go. I peeked at him through my curtain of hair and regretted it immediately. The hurt was written all over his face and I was sure that if vampires could cry, he would be sobbing. I almost caved and threw my arms around him – almost. I didn't because in many ways, I was right. I deserved to have a say in how our relationship worked. I deserved it, damn it! So, instead of doing what my heart wanted to do, I did the opposite. Turning around swiftly, I walked into the house and ran into my room. I made sure that the window was shut and locked tight before I grabbed my bag of toiletries and sauntered into the bathroom.
What a better time for the phone to ring? Of course…right when I had practically stripped myself. Wrapping a towel around me, I dashed into the kitchen, grabbing the phone from the cradle.
"Bella, what happened?!"
I was floored…it was Jasper.
"Bella, I'm serious…what's going on? Edward is in his room throwing things around and I swear I feel like killing myself."
"Jazz, I'm just confused. He says that he loves me but he won't do anything with me! It's not like I have you on tap you know. All I'm asking for is some sort of satisfaction! THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING FOR!"
"Bella…Bella! Calm down. I'll talk to him, alright?"
"Thank you Jasper." I sighed deeply as I hung up the phone.
I sat down at the table, looking at my fingers as they laced on the cold wood. I took another deep breath and started thinking about how much of a fool I had been to Edward. I had obviously upset him so much that he was throwing things around his room. I decided that right after my shower…I was going to call him and ask him to come over. I walked up to my room, and opened my window. Walking back into the bathroom, I turned the shower on, smiling to myself as I saw the steam start to fill the small room. Letting the towel drop around my feet, I stepped in with a gasp when I felt the hot water make contact with my skin.
I washed my hair and body quickly, wanting to get Edward on the phone. I was about to back into the water to rinse my body again when I ran into the wall. Stupid wall. But wait…my bathroom wall doesn't have muscles, and it sure as hell doesn't smell so delicious. I whipped around and gasped at the sight that stood before me. Edward, was naked, something that I'd dreamt about for some time. Water was running in rivers down his incredible body, and I shivered involuntarily. He opened his mouth to speak, but I crushed my lips to his with such velocity that he stumbled backwards. I threaded my hands in his hair and tried to prolong the moment before he pushed me away. He didn't…actually, he went further.
I felt his cold arms wrap around my waist, and pull me closer to him. I felt his tongue trace my lips and I let out a moan against my will. I felt him grin as he deepened the kiss, running his hands from my back to my hips; pulling my lower body to his. I placed my tongue in his mouth softly as he mated his with mine. He pulled his lips off of mine then and started running his tongue along my jaw line. I tugged at his hair, desperate for my lips to be covered by his again and fire leapt in my body when I heard him groan. His hand traced around my hip to my thigh, gripping it; he hoisted me up so that my legs wrapped around his waist.
"Bella…I-I'm sorry that I didn't realize how much I was hurting you." He said breathlessly.
"Shut up and kiss me" I told him.
And, lord…did he. I didn't realize that I was lying on my bed until his mouth went from my lips to my collarbone. He kissed downward, massaging my breasts with his ice cold tongue causing me to whimper. I was lost in the moment of complete ecstasy when I felt his mouth at my most private of areas. He was gentle and slow and it drove me insane. I moaned loudly when I felt his tongue push into me, I'm pretty sure that I screamed when his fingers started playing with my sensitive bud. He tasted and teased me for how long? – I don't know, and I don't care. He made me feel so good, so powerful, so much like a woman. I loved this man so much, and that's what he was to me. He wasn't just a vampire, he was a man and I was his woman; and I was going to give him all of me.
He suddenly stopped, to my dismay let me just say and pressed his mouth to mine. I went to move downward, but he caught my waist and told me that this night was about me, and only me. My heart swelled as I looked deep into his eyes, I saw all the love he had for me in those black orbs. That's when I noticed for the first time since we had begun this journey that they were indeed black. They weren't black with hunger; they were black for another reason…for me. To please me, and make me his; when this realization hit me it caused my body to practically overheat and I begged him to continue.
"Bella, this might hurt…I love you" he whispered
"I love you too"
I felt him press into me, stretching my tightness with his pulsing member. When he got to my innocence he looked deep into my eyes and thrust forward, making my innocence his. I cried out from the pain that shot through me and I saw the panic and fear show in his face. Before he could stop, I wrapped my legs around his waist and crushed my lips to his. He stayed in that spot for awhile, waiting for me to adjust to his size and when I felt no more pain, I nodded at him to begin. He started slow…pulling out and then pushing back in, sending fire through my veins. I held onto him as he picked up speed, crying out and whimpering from the sensations that he was giving me. He kissed me passionately as he moved his hands to my hips, guiding my small frame onto his larger one. When I heard him moan, it set another fire in my lower belly that would only be put out with his frigid release. He pushed into me over and over, going faster but never harder. I knew then that this is what it was like to have someone make love to you. When they used all that they held in their heart for you to make you feel it on the inside of your body.
I felt a pressure begin to build in the pit of my stomach and gasped out loud when I felt him go deeper than he had been. I tightened myself around his manhood and moaned when he called out my name. He pulled me closer to him as he continued to move deeper into me than anyone before…than anyone ever will. I felt when he put his face in my neck; panting, moaning, groaning the entire time. I could feel the pressure growing deeper; it was sending rocking shudders through my body. I called out Edwards name when I felt the pressure beginning to release with each thrust he made into me. I felt him stiffen on top of me suddenly, I then felt his member jerking inside of me; then in the next moment, his freezing liquid spilled into me causing him to cry out. It was then that the pressure burst out, sending me off the bed and into his body with an earth shattering jolt. His name exploded from my mouth like a mantra as I clung to him.
He kissed my neck as I came down from ecstasy, pulling out and lying next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"I love you Bella, more than you'll ever know."
"I love you too, Edward."
"Sleep my love; I might just ravish you like this when you wake."
"Looking forward to it."
He kissed my forehead then, and as I was drifting into sleep I realized that I had to remember to thank Jasper. Again.
Don't forget to check out my other fanfic, A Twist In My Story...it's very good. Actually, I'm quite proud of it. But I need all of you to let me know how it is!