Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. Thank you.

Author's Notes: Some swearing. I couldn't remember how many items were banned by Filch, so I surmised neither would McGonagall (not because she didn't care, but because she had more important things to remember, like not to get too angry when someone complained about her favourite Slytherin). A quick beta by MS Word (computers are love) and a beta-listen (like a read only you read it to them, instead of them reading it) by deltadasher. Enjoy, and please please please review. They make me work faster... Or at least give me something to read when my writer's bloke sets in.

"We have a new faculty member joining us. A few of you may remember Hermione Granger from her years as a student. She will now be teaching first through to third year Potions." Hermione waved a small wave to the Hogwarts population. She would be teaching all the younger children, and an insistent headache was already making itself known. Forcing a smile, she tried not to imagine the myriad of catastrophes that might occur as she tried to teach.

"As always, the Forbidden Forest is just that, forbidden. Any student found there will lose house points and serve detention. Mister Filch has asked me to remind all pupils that all Weasley's Wizard Wheezes products are banned from school property, along with all other banned items listed. For those wishing to see the list, please visit Mister Filch…"

"I bet you had all the items memorised," a small, sneering voice whispered in her ear.

"Of course, how ever else would I be able to flaunt the rules if I didn't know them?" Hermione bit back sarcastically.

"So you admit it then?" he probed as the students prepared to file out.

"First rule of life; admit nothing." And with a mini swirl of plum coloured robes, Hermione was gone.


"Seriously, I honestly heard that Professor Granger was teaching…" a poor first year murmured as Snape walked through the first Slytherin-Gryffindor class of the year.

"Perhaps you heard incorrectly. Ten points from Gryffindor for disturbing the rest of the class."

The first year nodded and went back to his work, slowly dicing dandelion stalks. Happy that everyone was working, he sat at his desk facing the room. Instantly his eyes searched for his new adjunct, sat in the back, totally unassuming. Every child was so shocked when the Head of Slytherin, and their new nightmare material, crashed in through the door that they missed Hermione following in his wake, hidden in her own black robes.

Each member of the class had sat enraptured as Snape recited his perennial speech, including Hermione. The words washed over her in a manner akin to a waterfall, drenching her with promises of power. She had another speech like that to sit through and she didn't know if her knickers could take it.

Finally, the bell rang. "Pack up and leave." The crowd of students rushed through the door as Hermione stood from her chair, stretching, unknowingly drawing Snape's attention.

"I shall see you at lunch professor," said Hermione, politely.

"Where are you going? You have a lesson now."

"No I don't. It's fifth year Ravenclaw, a class I am not teaching."

"How many lessons have you observed?"

"One as a teacher but--"

"Sit down," he commanded.

She did, as haughtily as a spoilt brat, her arms crossed and her nose in the air. Severus smirked; she looked… less annoying.

"What?" Hermione demanded.

Severus' smirk grew nastier and he just walked into his office, moments before the fifth year Ravenclaws entered.


Hermione had a new found respect for Professor Snape. Not just him; all her ex-teachers, now colleagues, were higher in her estimations. Her last lesson of the day was with the raucous third year Gryffindors and Slytherins, hell bent on destroying each other. Fear was her constant companion, especially when Severus was sat behind his desk as they stirred. Obviously, any wrong doing was punished, but more so if the fault was Gryffindor in origin. Nothing much had changed on that front.

Of course, the righteous indignation she felt whenever Professor Snape took away House Points hadn't left her, but she knew where, and when, to get her revenge.

Her day over, she had retired to her quarters, intent on reading until some silly hour called bedtime, then sleeping until an hour before breakfast. However, Severus Snape had other plans for her.

"Mi—Professor Granger." This was said with as much calculated venom as deemed this side of polite. "Come down to the Potions lab immediately." His head disappeared from her fireplace.

"It's half past flipping ten. What could he want now?" Hermione muttered as she pulled on her boots. "Couldn't it wait until morning?" she groused as she walked to the Potions lab. It wasn't too far, but several Slytherins lost many points. "You wished to see me Professor?" Hermione asked, grinding the words through her teeth.

"Yes." He didn't look up from his cauldron.

Hermione waited. "Well?"

Snape looked her over once, before explaining. "I shall need your assistance Thursday evening."

Hermione blinked. "And you couldn't tell me that over the Floo?" she asked, getting angrier by the minute.

Snape's eyes narrowed as he added the next ingredient. "You'd do well to keep that temper in check," he murmured.

"Yes, well, you'd do well to sit on it and swivel. Goodnight!" she replied angrily, before flouncing out the door, almost slamming it as her bratty mood felt like doing.

Severus glared at the door, almost making the paint flake and the door to warp, until he realised the semi in his underpants. "Damn that woman!" he growled, tossing in the last ingredient. The perfect way to end such a "perfect" day.