So here I sit, bored out of my mind - and also anxious as hell. These places always make me this way. *shrug* May have something to do with being held in a place like this on-
Is that him? Nope. Wrong one. He shows up, he'd better not have that much blood on him. Have to kill him then.
Look down at shoes, look at clock, glance across room at other person, look down at shoes, look at clock... Gods, what has my life come to that I'm just sitting here doing this? Surely there must be something, I don't know, useful, I can do! Look down at shoes, look at clock... Has it only been seven hours? It feels like an eternity!
A pale hand pushes a white paper cup of water into my hands. I stare at it blindly for a moment, nod at the considerate person (Friend! He's a friend now!) who have it to me, and gulp it all down in one go. Strange. I never noticed my throat hurt till now. "Doomo," I hear myself saying. Why am I thanking him again? Oh yeah. The water.
And for being here. Do you really think you could stand to
be here alone? Would you?
No, but I'm not telling him that.
Wrong one. This guy won't let it go to his head.
Well, I'm not admitting it either way.
Fine. Be stubborn.
I will, thankyouverymuch.
And who does that sound like?
I give that strange inner voice a sharp mental kick for that barb and promptly set to ignoring it and all other sounds around me. Look down at shoes (when did that scuff mark get there?), look at clock.. It's only been five minutes?!?
I hear a faint sound and look aside to the location; oh, someone was talking to me. "... you've been here for a while now. Why don't you go lay down?"
"I'm staying right here."
When did this guy start talking so much? "I'm staying right here." I promised I wouldn't leave; this is the best I can do.
How much longer is it going to take?!?
Well, it was rather nasty, remember?
All the same, it shouldn't take so long!
Want him to rush and do a bad job?
I'm worried, okay?!? I don't like it, but I'm worried. It's been so long already. They would have told us if... anything happened, right? Right?!?
Usually, I demand it, but now... now it's grating on my every nerve. Oh, I don't like this!
God, Goddess, whoever's out there... I know I've never believed in you or prayed to you before, but please... don't let this one die! Life is bad enough without that light. Just please don't take -
Is that - It is! It's him! So much blood...
I feel myself spring to my feet with more energy than I feel and fix the man scurrying towards us with the most piercing glare I can manage. Not quite the usual Glare of Doom (okay, not even close)... Damn, I must be worse off than I thought. How the hell did this happen to me? No time for that now. He's talking and I need to know everything he says.
" - massive tissue damage, several broken bones, some head trauma..." Head trauma? That's really bad, isn't it? Worse than bad... "... really lucky to be alive. If we'd been any later getting started operating, these injuries would have been fatal."
I feel the others looking at me. It's my fault we got here so quickly. I saw all that blood and... panicked. There's no other word for it. Strange to think of me panicking, but I did. At least it got us here in time. Otherwise... no! I won't think of that! Unacceptable, unrepeatable, inexcuseable, bad, bad, bad!
This is why we weren't letting anyone in, you know? So we
wouldn't worry about them or be afraid of them dying? That's why
we agreed, so that this
would never happen.
Well, I know better now. And I... like not being alone.
Faint amusement. You like it, eh? And I thought it was just the mind-blowing sex.
I really hope I'm not blushing. It's that too, but I like the way I feel... loved with...
"Can we go back there?" that soft voice asks. Who? Oh, that one, the one who gave me the water, the nice one.
"To keep the patient from getting overwhelmed, only one of you can go back at a time," the doctor states. I hate doctors. Really do. This is the place people you love come to die.
The other three exchange glances and then push me forward. "You go," the nice one states. "We can wait till later. You need to go now."
"... need to...?" I repeat vaguely. Okay, yes, I'll admit, I'm worried. Getting caught in that explosion was phenomenally stupid, demo...
Fires, loud explosions all around me. We did our job good this time. No way those bastards are coming back to this place again. We beat them this round. Maybe -
A figure hits me from the side, just as one last explosion goes off. Heat and scrapnel blow over us, followed by a piece of metal. I hear a dull but loud bang as it hits the ground around us; part of it has to have hit the person above me...
A thick, wet substance flows onto me, sinking into my shirt, covering my skin. Blood... but it's... not... mine... No!
I shake myself free of the memory and follow the doctor through the aniseptic halls into the ICU. Must brace myself. It won't be good. Must brace myself. It won't be good. He said "lucky to be alive"; that's always a bad sign.
"Third room on the right," he tells me before turning to the nurses' desk for a file. I keep going. The only sound I make is the slight squeeking of my shoes against the pristine floors. I hate hospitals... I already said that, didn't I?
I turn into the doorway, and my breath catches in my throat. I was prepared for the worst, maybe even a mummy of bandages, but I'd failed to prepare myself for the utter stillness that prevailed over the room. All the noise and smiles that usually accompanied the person on the bed were missing. It almost hurts worse than seeing all those injuries. Almost.
Lip caught between my teeth, the only sign of nervousness I'll allow myself, I slowly cross the room and pick up the hand without the IV in it. This is my fault; this happened to protect me...
Movement? Can't be coming to already! Surgery just ended, and surely all those drugs...
Large eyes sleepily flutter open, and a small but tired smile appears on that face. "You're here."
I can't help but snort lightly, even as I let my other hand get tangled up in some of that long hair. Thank the gods none of it was damaged or burned off; I'd never hear the end of it - and I wouldn't be able to run my hands through it and reassure myself that this is real on some sleepless nights. "Of course. I said I would be."
Baka...! Why did you have to get hurt protecting me? I'm not worth your life. I'm not worth your...
A knowing smile appears on those so familiar lips, no matter how pale they are now, as if their owner knows exactly what I'm thinking. "I love you, you know, Hiiro."
"Baka," I whisper, briefly kissing the smile away. I can't say it... I can't... "I love you too, Duo."
26 May 2001
YAY!!!!!!! My first shonen no ai ficcie! *claps hands and glomps muses* I'm so proud! *glomps Tenshi-chan* Thanks for helping me with it - and putting up with me while I wrote it.