A/N: I'm finished my animation and submitted it to the school Film Fest!! So to celebrate, I give you smut! Yay!!

"Fuck!" Renji slammed his empty beer mug on the table with a loud bang. "You know, I haven't had sex for what feels like centuries!"

Ichigo looked up at Renji with a perplexed look, surprised at the sudden outburst from the pineapple. The two men were sitting at a table at their favorite bar in Sereitei. Ichigo had come over to visit for a while seeing as he was on summer vacation. So there he was, sitting with Renji, drinking his beer. "Renji, you haven't been dead that long."

"It's a figure of speech asshole. Anyway, I need to get laid, but whenever I try getting some sex there are always friggin strings attached. (Renji cleared his throat and put on his best imitation of a female voice) 'Oh Renji, I want a relationship…Oh Renji, I love you…' I'm sick of it! I just want sex for fuck sakes!"

"Heh, I can relate. I have my hormones waking up my boy any time of the day. No matter what I'm doing, he springs up! I hate it - I'm always horny! But I don't want to deal with women right now…"

Renji grabbed the pitcher resting innocently on the table and poured himself a full glass. He seemed very concentrated as he did so – his brows were furrowed and he was biting his lower lip. Finally, Renji spoke after he took a swig of beer. "You know… I think I have an idea that could help us both."

"Oh? What do you have in mind? I ain't going for prostitutes, that's not my game!"

"Nah, nah…I'm not into that either…tha's just wrong." Renji took another gulp of his beer before he spoke once more in a lower tone so no one could overhear. "This may be the booze talking but…what about us…doing it…together…?"

"WHAT!?" Ichigo stood up abruptly, landing both his palms on the table. "I'm not gay!"

Several shinigami turned towards the two red-heads with a shocked and interested look on their faces.

"Me neither! But hear me out here." Renji motioned for Ichigo to sit back down as he gave the eavesdropping shinigami a look of death (a look so deadly, none of the shinigami even tried to listen in to the conversation anymore). "We both agree that trying to have sex with a woman only gets us stuck in a relationship, right?"

"Ya, bu-"

"-And we both want sex without any strings attached, right?"

"Ya, bu-"

" –And seeing as we both want the same thing, we should help each other out, right?"

"YES, bu-"

"-So I don't see anything wrong with my suggestion."

"Renji! You forgot one little important fact. I – DON'T – DIG – MEN!" Ichigo said with his teeth clenched.

"It's not that bad. You just stick it in a different kind of hole. Look, it's just sex. So what does it matter with what gender you have it with? As long as you relieve the pressure in your pants."

"I dunno about this. How am I supposed to get a hard on if I'm not into guys?"

"Didn't you just finish saying you get hard all the time? Besides, I can make you feel good. I'm not too bad at the whole sex thing, man. I know what gets a guy off, seeing as I AM one."

"You're such a perv."

"Look who's talking."

Ichigo growled as he took his mug and downed all the contents. He then waved at the bartender to bring some more beer. "I'm gonna need all the booze in me if I'm gonna do it with you."

"So that means you accept?"


Renji smiled as he took the mug brought to him from the barkeep. I'm gonna get some tonight!

The two shinigami stumbled along the streets of Sereitei, on their way to Renji's apartment. They were obviously very drunk: swinging their arms and singing loudly as they walked in a zigzag pattern.

They finally reached Renji's place and went in. After Ichigo closed the door behind him and turned around, he was pushed roughly back to the door with warm beer-smelling lips pressed against his. Ichigo was frozen on the spot, blushing as he felt those lips caress him and the tongue lick him. A hand snaked between their bodies and pushed Ichigo's kimono off one shoulder, exposing a nipple, which was quickly pinched by Renji's fingers. Ichigo groaned as his senses were filled with a pleasure he never thought he could get from Renji. Renji took this opportune moment to slide his tongue into Ichigo's mouth, urging the other to return the kiss.

Ichigo gave in when he felt the soft muscle explore his mouth. He took hold of Renji's head and pulled him closer as he deepened the kiss. Renji moaned at the gesture, a heat wave passing through his body and stopping at his mid-section.

Renji instinctively jerked his hips forward, smashing his semi hard-on into Ichigo's. Ichigo shivered as Renji moaned a 'shit' as he did so.

Renji then tore away from the kiss and buried his face in Ichigo's neck, continuing his movement of his hips and sucking on Ichigo's skin. Ichigo looked up at the ceiling with wide eyes and mouth open as he felt his member hardening with the friction he was receiving from Renji.

He then looked down at Renji, who had trailed kisses down Ichigo's exposed shoulder. "Fuck," Ichigo cried out as he pulled on Renji's hair tie, making the red locks cascade down the tattooed man's shoulders.

As he felt his hair tumble down his back, Renji stopped his ministrations to look at the berry-head. "You know, this doesn't make me any more female with my hair like this."

"Shut up, it's helping." Ichigo growled as he sunk his face into the red-head's hair, wanting to avoid seeing Renji's face. As he unavoidably inhaled the pineapple's sent, he couldn't help but want to breath in that sent forever. Aside from the beer, he smelt deliciously like vanilla chai. The sent was an aphrodisiac. Of course, Ichigo would never admit to Renji that he likes his smell. As he continued to inhale the sent, Ichigo took Renji's ear in his mouth, sucking on the lobe. He discovered that his sent was best right behind his ear.

"Oh my god, Ichigo…that feels fucking amazing."

Renji's hand snaked back between their bodies, moving down towards Ichigo's sash. As he undid the tie, Ichigo's hips bucked unintentionally.

"You can do that all you want in a second," Renji cooed in Ichigo's ear.

Ichigo's hakama loosened as the sash was pulled away, giving Renji access to sneak his hand into the pant. As he gripped the younger man's arousal, Ichigo groaned and bucked his hips once more.

"God R-Renji, I need this s-so bad."

Suddenly, Renji spun Ichigo around, making the berry-head the one pinning Renji against the door.

"What are you doing?" Ichigo asked, confused at Renji's actions.

"You'll see."

Leaning his back against door, Renji slid down into a crouching position, resting his weight on the balls of his feet. He pulled Ichigo's hakama all the way down to expose his beautiful arousal. Quickly, Renji licked the head, which was dripping with precum – receiving a loud gasp from Ichigo.

Ichigo wasn't expecting this. As he stared down at the pineapple, he rested the palms of his hands against the door: unable to keep his balance as Renji took the cock into his mouth.

Renji took Ichigo in all the way until the head hit the back of his throat. He then closed his lips fully at the base of the penis as his tongue swirled inside.

"Oh f-fuck. That feels too good." Ichigo couldn't tear his eyes away from the arousing sight of Renji taking him all in. What was more arousing were the naughty things the lips and tongue were doing.

Renji then relinquished his hold on Ichigo's member and looked up at the berry, who was panting so erotically. The sight alone made Renji's bulge twitch. He unconsciously rubbed his own arousal with his hand through the fabric of his hakama.

"Ichigo, I want you to fuck my mouth. Drive me into the wall." Renji's determined look sent shivers down Ichigo's spine.

"But, you'll cho-"

"Just do it!"

Ichigo took his left hand off the wall and used it to hold Renji's head steady as he positioned his cock at Renji's lips. Renji immediately opened his inviting mouth and licked the head. Ichigo then drove his member in hard, unable to restrain himself.

"Oh Shit!" Ichigo jerked his hips repeatedly, loving the feeling of Renji's hot wet mouth. Ichigo's pace grew faster as he continued fucking Renji's mouth into the wall.

Ichigo shut his eyes tightly and moaned loudly, feeling the heat inside him build up. "Renji, I think I'm gonna come."

Renji moaned loudly as he heard this, bracing himself for the load he was about to receive.

Ichigo bucked his hips as he came violently in Renji's mouth. Several spurts of hot seed shot out, filling Renji's mouth completely. Renji held back his gag reflex as he milked the berry clean.

Ichigo moaned as his hips continued to jerk, completely riding out his orgasm. When his panting settled down into normal breathing, he reluctantly took his member out of Renji's mouth. He then crouched down in front of the pineapple, unable to utter any words because he felt too embarrassed for what he just did.

"Did you like that," Renji said as he rubbed his jaw with his hand.

"I sure as hell did. I just…I must have hurt you."

"Bah! Don't worry about that. I'm fine. And I'll feel even better now that it's my turn."

Renji suddenly pushed Ichigo onto his back and climbed on top of him. "It's my turn to feel ecstasy. And I'm gonna fuck you so good."


If you wanna read Renji's turn, you gotta review and let me know!

Just a side note – Renji smells like my favorite drink at Starbucks (Chai Latte)!! So yummy, yet so expensive godammit!