Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm borrowing characters and the like. Do not sue…

Author's Notes: Yes, this is it. The end. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this fic, and had it on alert or favourite-ed (yes, it is an awkward word, and Word doesn't like it, but that's what you get when you make a verb into a noun… Or however that works. I never did get that part of grammar in English.). And, since you've lasted to the end of this fic, with a drabble as a chapter, here's something longer. Thanks to deltadasher for the encouragement, and MS Word for the beta (which is why it doesn't like favourite-ed).

Also, some naughty words ahead (as a reward for the silly hijinks and drabble chapter you had to endure). Enjoy.


"So then what happened?" Ron asked excitedly, cradling his head in his hands, his elbows on the hardwood table. On the table, next to a stump of wax the pub called a candle, stood his Appletini, getting warmer with each passing moment.

"With a soft, clean feather duster, he teased me all over. He really is a dungeon master," Hermione confided, slightly drunk on alcohol, oxygen and sex.

"He's got chains?" he asked incredulously, a bit drunker than Hermione.

"Yes." She was grinning like the cat who got the canary.

"And whips?"

"Yes," she sighed dreamily.

"And a big knob?"

"Ye—None of your business Ron Weasley!" she replied, stopping herself from disclosing too much information.

"So then what?"

"Why do you want to know?" she asked carefully, hoping that the question didn't set off the hysterics of past meetings.

"My mission in life is to make sure that the hole between your legs is saved! Is it?"

"Yes -- "

"But I need proof before I can say that my mission was a success. So then what did he do?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and carried on with her story. "With one of the scented candles he…"


"You're sneaking in, Professor Granger. Where have you been?" a dark, velvet voice whispered softly into her ear, as large, warm hands rested against her stomach. Effectively, she was pinned against his body.

"I was visiting a friend…" she explained as Severus started nuzzling her throat. Pushing her riotous curls to one side, brief kisses found their way to her neck. "Really?" he asked, before licking her earlobe gently.

"Reh—really," she replied breathlessly. "Would you want my friend to arrive at the door in a drunken tangle, asking why his wards wouldn't recog--"



"Be quiet," he commanded, before turning her in his arms to face him and kissing her soundly on the lips. Her body reacted instantly; arms wrapped around his shoulders, her body pressed flush against his, her nipples tight, his cock hard. Nimbly, Severus set to work on Hermione's clothes, taking away each layer of her cotton armour. Soon her skin was exposed, the low fire in the hearth painting intricate shadows on the planes of her stomach. Kneeling, he began kissing her abdomen, his hands on her bum cheeks.

Hermione's hands came to rest on his head, to keep contact between his delicious lips and the skin he was anointing. Slowly, she knelt before him and started kissing his neck as he fiddled with her bra clasp. Those warm hands that kept her bum cheeks warm found their way to her breasts, the perfect flesh begging to be kissed, the nipples taunting him to suck them, nibble them.

Moving away slightly, he motioned for Hermione to lie on the floor. Between her legs he placed himself, before latching onto one lush, rosy nipple. A moan of pleasure and Hermione's back was arching, wanting more pleasure from his mouth, with a short gasp dashing from her lips as Severus flicked her other nipple. Nails ran down his naked back, making him shudder slightly as he swapped his attention from one nipple to the other.

And there they stayed for a while, a tableaux of passion before a light fireplace, until Hermione's hips began bucking, trying to calm the fire between her legs.

"Calm yourself," he whispered, before kissing the valley between her breasts. Then, slowly, he moved down her body, his fingers tailing down her sides, making her shiver. Reaching her knickers, he kissed her clit through the material, her sighs now long moans of unquenched passion. Languidly, the supple cloth released her soft, aching flesh. Grinning, Severus kissed the tops of her thighs, waiting for her to beg.

"Please… now… sex…" Hermione gasped as she reached for Severus.

"All in due time," he murmured to her hips, before kissing her clit, licking it slightly. In opulent heaven, she offered herself to him, bringing her hips closer to his lips. One digit slowly entered her and, as it moved, Severus removed his pyjama bottoms.

Hermione's hands were busily playing with her nipples, pinching and rubbing the bundles of nerves, when Severus slid his cock into her. Her hands stilled. "Keep playing," he breathed into her ear, then kissing her neck. Acquiescing, Hermione began anew her playtime with her breasts, enjoying Severus watching her as he thrust into her willing flesh. "Can I ride you?" she breathed, matching his tempo with her hips.

With a pleasured sigh, he rolled them so that Hermione was on top, her hair cascading down to her shoulder blades. A few errant curls tried to hide her nipples, but she soon pulled them to their rightful place. Severus' hands were on her hips, and then on those delicious nipples she allowed the room to see. "Pinch them," she pleaded, her hips moving faster.

"With… pleasure…" he replied, his own orgasm nearing as he helped Hermione gain more pleasure. The wetness around his cock was increasing, the friction building in Hermione, making the sensations push both of them closer to the edge.

"Se… Se… I'm… I'm…!" The rest of the sentence was cut off with a long groan of pleasure. Her warmth increased and Severus moved her hips for her, made the muscle spasms work for him. He flipped them over and started pounding into her, caring little for much other than his own orgasm; close, so very close, he soon realised Hermione was talking. "Fuck Severus, your cock is still the best I've ever had. You're banging me so fucking hard, my cunt loves it. Come up me. Make me yours with that amazing dick you're fucking me with. Make my cunt wet with your come." She started playing with her nipples again and Severus, closer than ever with his nubile partner talking dirty to him, flew over the cliff of pleasure he had been gripping onto.

"Hermione…" he began, panting, as he came down from his orgasmic high.

"Yes?" she replied, equally breathless.

Looking into her eyes, he smiled and kissed her softly on the lips.

Smiling back, she said, "Severus?" He grunted quietly. "Severus, next time, talk dirty to me."

Chuckling, he Accio'd a blanket. "Yes dear," he replied, kissing her head. Thank Merlin for gay Weasleys.

Thank you and good night.