Title: The Costume Makes the Clown.
Pairing: hinted NaruGaa, NejiGaa
Inspiration: Was bored...so very bored.
Summary: Don't have one. Deal with it.
He was pleading, beyond desperate.
"I don't understand you, he's not gonna forget about him. Can't you understand that?"
When will it end? There was nothing left for my hopes to lean on, but apparently that was too much for him to understand.
"There is always a chance." this was said as low as possible, almost as if I did not want the other to hear. In truth there was no chance. I knew, but I refused to believe.
As long as there was a desire.
A curt snort.
"No, there isn't. Sasuke has been his obsession since before you came here. Nothing, nothing you do will change that."
"You don't understand, Neji, I--" but I was cut off from continuing.
"Yeah, I know, you love him. It doesn't mean he feels the same way about you. Think about it. How many times has he left you for him? How much time have you spent with Naruto, compared to him? How many times has he told you he loved you?"
Never, not once. He knows it hurts for me to think about it, but he brings it to my attention nonetheless.
Am I really that desperate? That transparent? No. If I was, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
I continue. "It doesn't matter. I'm prepared to wait."
"But for how long? Days? Months? Years? It's already been three years; how much longer can you wait for him, Gaara?" His face is broken, defeated. He looks near tears already.
Doesn't he realize what I really want? Can he truly see? How many things are those eyes blind to?
"You... are so stubborn, I just... augh...!" He holds back his curse, covering his beautiful face with his hands. His eyes are hidden.
I try once more.
"I know where you're coming from, Neji, and I realize you only want the best for me, but this is my life and I choose to wait for Naruto."
Will he bite? or break down?
"But he doesn't care for you the way you--"
"The way I should be cared for? To tell you the truth I don't even know how he's supposed to love me. I've never felt this way before..."
There is nothing I want more. Perhaps I am truly a masochist. Perhaps not. Maybe what I really want is to be told the truth and not lied to over and over again. Is that too much to ask?
"This isn't healthy, Gaara," he says. "You'll only end up with a broken heart," he says. "Is that what you really want?"
All nice words, nothing I want to hear. My heart is in the right place, now it is safe. It is up to this person if it will remain this way or not.
Tell me, I beg silently. Recite the words I want to hear. Allow me to remove this mask, so I don't forget myself. I wish he could see.
But we continue with this charade.
"It doesn't matter, as long as I can be near him." I look into his faded eyes and say. He is stricken, his face has fallen, lost some of the passion that was there only moments before.
"He's already hurt you once, are you just going to forgive him like that?" He gives me a look that catches my heart, stops it from beating.
One more blow.
"It was worth it. I'm sorry that I can't explain the way I feel, Neji. It hurts, you'll probably never know the pain of unrequited love. It feels like someone is squeezing my heart in their hands and--"
"You can't breath..."
My face is in his hands.
"But when you are close enough to that person it doesn't hurt as much," his lips whisper, inches from mine.
The beat of my heart accelerates.
"But you still long for that person." he finishes, but does not move. We are frozen in that one moment, hanging in time, me staring into his eyes. Him staring into mine.
"Neji, I..." His lips interrupt mine, I lose my thought.
His lips are warm and wet. He kisses me unyielding, possessively. My body leans forward and molds into his, perfectly. His hair sweeps past my cheek in a gentle caress. Sighing, my eyes drift close and his tongue claims my mouth.
No more pretending.
His lips leave mine, slightly swollen, but contented. He fixes me with his stern gaze, still pleading, but somehow different.
"Neji?" I breathed, my thoughts still a muddle inside my head.
"Moron, I know exactly how you feel."