Another Man's Wife

disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter,0020 though I really really wish I did.

As usual, the first reviewer will get the next chapter dedication.

This chapter is dedicated to Flickerphile. Hopefully the next few chapters will help make last chapter's dream sequence less confusing.

Chapter 5: Wherein One's Folly Leads to Disaster

Hermione snored softly in the living room, barely audible over the low rumble of the television. She tossed in her sleep, her hands clenching as she moved.

As she slept, she dreamt. And as she dreamt, she didn't hear a thing.

Hermione was sitting in a wicker swing, swaying in a gentle breeze that was playing with her curls. She heard children laughing and playing, and she sighed, a bit louder than she intended to.

"Mum! Mummy! Ma!" voices seemed to screech and echo in the space and Hermione raise her hands, pressing her palms to her temples.

Every day everyday EVERYday EVERYDAY

The cacophony. The near-disasters. The scheduling in of her own children. Ron's children.

A young girl ran up to the swing and flung herself on Hermione.

"MUM!" Hermione cringed.

"Y-yes, Millie," Hermione fought a grimace; she remembered hating the name and wondering where they'd gotten it: Ron's aunt Mildred; horrid woman.

"Granna says you'd be better with red hair like me!" Millie screeched excitedly. "Then you'd be a REAL Weasely, and fit in with us!"

Hermione swallowed and shook her head.

Millie's face turned red and she started hollering, calling the attention of any who could hear.

"Mum doesn't want to be a Weasely! Mum won't be a Weasely!" Millie shouted till Hermione heard what she could swear were the pitter-patterings of a baby elephant herd.

Child after child with noxiously red hair appeared on the porch and behind it, popping out of windows in the house and one even jumped out from under the porch swing.

"Hermione, the Medi-Witch is here with yet more congratulations, my favorite prego!" Ron's voice boomed through an open door.

Hermione opened her mouth to screa-

Medb shrugged her shoulders and shuddered as she shed the guise of Ron. She saw Hermione pass out in the porch swing and made a face.

"That may have been…a bit much," Medb agreed with what she knew her sister would think. But Medb had never been one to do things halfway. Hermione needed to be away from Ron, and Medb needed someone to be with a warrior she'd watched over practically since his birth.

Medb tossed her hair and snorted.

Harsh or not, Medb would see the ends justified the means.

Hermione was panting and gasping when she woke from her scream. Something was over her mouth so she couldn't scream. Her blanket was nowhere to be found and her robe was being pushing up above her thighs. She struggled and whimpered, wondering where Ron was, how he could be sleeping through something like this.

She got her answer when her would-be molester lifted his weight off her enough for her to shift her position on the couch.

It was Ron. Panting and pawing at her lower body, but making a horrible job of it. He looked to be half-asleep, which to Hermione's way of thinking was a poor excuse for the randomness of his act.

Hermione thought hard. Accio wand!

Her wandless magic came through for her, her wand flying to her hand, which she'd managed to get free.

"Expelliarmus!" Hermione hit Ron with the disarming spell to dislodge him, and she was satisfied when she heard the dull thud of his body colliding with the carpeted floor.

"Wh-what? What the bloody hell, Hermione! Stealing the blankets is one thing, but shoving me out of bed?" Ron's scowl was evident in his voice and Hermione fought her temper. He'd nearly molested her, and he was joking about stolen covers and bed space?

"We're not in the bed, I was on the couch because you're an ass who thinks I'm nothing more than a broodmare with no use but to breed with you," Hermione fumed. "And then I have a nightmare, and wake up to you on top of me trying to rut like a wild animal!"

"You were loving it, Hermione. Besides, Rose's nearly Hogwart's age and Hugo's starting his primaries at that Muggle school you demanded he go to. If we don't get back on the broom, they'll be married and giving us grandbabies and we'll never have enjoyed the whole cycle again!" Ron replied.

Hermione snorted. "Enjoy the whole cycle? You mean the bloating, the morning sickness, the hemorrhoids, the stretch marks, edema, and tearing of the birth canal? All for the middle of the night feedings, parent-teacher meetings, arguments, and being the bad guy?"

"Yeah, that!" Ron nodded sharply.

"How would you know, you were always at the quidditch fields!" Hermione screeched. She shut her eyes to regain her composure. They didn't live at an exclusively magically inhabited apartment complex and explaining quidditch was not something she was up to at the moment.

"I may not know every bloody thing about parenting, but I know a fair thing about having siblings and how that teaches you to fit in and be normal," Ron sneered.

Hermione froze. "Fit in? Be normal? You have no idea what you just did, do you Ron?"

"I damned do. I told you how its going to be in this family, and you're going to get on it," Ron said, more irrational than usual.

"You told me I'm neither normal nor able to fit in, and you're blaming my parents because they only had one child?" Hermione said softly, dangerously softly.

Ron smiled amicably and got up, sitting down next to her and trying to gather her into his arms. "No, love. It was their mistake, one we're not going to repeat."

"Heh. You're an idiot."


Back on her throne in Tir na Nog, Rhiannon shook her head.

Medb had done her job well, as usual.

And she'd made a hell of a mess, also, as usual.

a/n: this will start to make more sense as we go on. Perhaps Snape will make and appearance next chapter. I don't want him to feel left out. But he just hasn't spoken to me in a few chapters. Read, review, get a dedication