Children, in general, are treated with great caution and care due to their short attention spans. It is especially rare for 'children' to be mistreated in the prosperous village of Konoha. Take note of the word 'children'.

A small blonde haired boy, roughly the age of seven, could be seen sitting eagerly in a classroom with his fellow students. Most of said students couldn't wait to learn and become ninja, and no doubt go pillaging for treasure, or anything else their sugar-high minds could think up.

This blonde haired boy was unique from his peers in many a way. It was rare to find someone in Konoha to have bright blonde hair such as his, if you exclude those from the Yamanaka clan. Another unique trait of his was his bright cerulean eyes, filled both with mischief and happiness. And then of course, there were his 'whiskers' as they had been dubbed. The blonde had often cursed these 'whiskers' as 'no good useless birthmarks', but little did he know how much of use they would have in the future...


The class had eventually started and all were busy reading out of their textbooks in order to learn 'that-which-ninja-needs-to-know'. Suffice to say, they were learning stuff, well... most of them at least.

One spiky-haired blonde was busy minding his own business, when the substitute instructor for the day had grabbed his textbook, as well as the others he had with him, from under his nose. Blinking slightly in confusion the blonde turned to his instructor.

"Eh... Mizuki-sensei? What are you doing with my books?" Said instructor that had taken his books blinked owlishly at the blonde, and spoke with complete seriousness. "Would you like to see a cool jutsu, Naruto-kun?" Naruto, ever the impressionable little brat that he was, nodded eagerly with a cheshire cat grin.

The white haired substitute grinned slyly and threw the books on a pile on the ground, then ran through a few set of hand-seals. "You ready? I call it bonfire-no-jutsu" Mizuki then proceeded to set fire to the pile of books, turning said, pile of books, into a rather nicely burning bonfire.

Naruto stared at the small burning pile of what used to be his books in silent awe. Such a cool jutsu! He definitely had to badger his teacher to teach him that, that is... until he realized what exactly just happened. "Wait a minute..."

Eyes widening to the size of dinner plates to blonde yelled. "Ah! My books! Crap, crap, crap. CRAP!" The blonde was currently stomping his feet on the small bonfire in an attempt to save his books, but alas... it was in vain. All that remained after he had taken care of the small fire was a pile of soot.


Apparently school had come out and it was time to go home. Our poor blonde seemed oblivious to it though as he was silently weeping, tracing his fingers through what used to be his books of knowledge.

Naruto heard someone clear their throat behind him. "Eh... School's out gaki. You should probably head home and go eat ramen or something, ne?" Sorrow forgotten, the blonde grinned and dashed out of the room, mind set on finding the food know as 'ramen'.


Naruto had just finished eating a few cups of instant ramen and was currently walking through the streets of Konoha, hands in his pockets, trying to find a solution to his delimma. 'Books... I need new books. Where the hell do books come from? Maybe there's a bookshop just like there's a ramenshop?'

His mind having been made up, the blonde headed in no particular direction to find a 'bookshop'. Eventually he saw a small run down looking shop with a few books being displayed.

Entering the shop the blonde rose an eyebrow at the scenery. Dust. Everywhere. On the floor, the walls, the books, the ceiling and even on the old geezer sitting at counter. Shrugging, the blonde started looking around the shop at the choices of books that he could pick from. Not finding anything of his liking the blonde decided to ask the old geezer for some help. "Hey old geezer!"

The old fossil behind the counter lazily opened a single eye and hummed. "You got any ninja books here, huh?" At first it look as if he wasn't going to answer, until he slowly rose his right arm and pointed a small collection of books in a corner of the small shop. Grinning the blonde took off to the books to see his choices.

Naruto mentally checked through all the titles available. ''Basic academy ninjutsu', 'basic academy taijutsu', 'basic academy kunai and weapons theory'? Yeah, these look pretty useful to me... hope I have enough money.'

The blonde slowly rummaged through his pockets trying to find his small frog shaped wallet. "Ah ha!" Having dug his wallet out from the inner confines of his clothes, the blonde opened it, only to sigh. 'Damn, don't even have enough for one of them... Guess I'll have to see if there's something cheaper.'

The blonde continued searching through the pile of books in search of something cheap enough that he could afford. Eventually he found a small booklet of probably no more than a hundred pages. Looking at the front page the blonde saw a 'no-entry' sign on the book and a number near it saying '18+'. Having no idea what it meant, the blonde took the book to the counter, payed for it and left for home.


When Naruto eventually got home he sat down on the comfort of his bed and flipped the book open. "Alright, lets see what I got. 'The ways of the super pervert – by Jiraiya the Frog Sage'? The hell!?" For several seconds the blonde contemplated returning the no doubt useless, in his mind, book and use the money for a cup of ramen takeout instead. The blonde shrugged instead. "Guess I can't judge a book by its cover like Old man Sandaime always says." Deciding to continue reading, Naruto skipped the foreword and index to the first chapter skipping some of the boring stuff.

Chapter 0 – What you will achieve

... If you follow the instructions in this booklet that I wrote, then I can guarantee you right now, that you will have the love of many, and have many eating out of your hands! Imagine the possibilities! The people you will influence will do anything for your own pleasure! After 'converting' them as I will explain later you can make any request of them, and it will come true! ...

The blonde blinked slightly, the grinned and let out a small whoop. 'Yeah! I'll definitely do everything in this book, then I can become a super cool ninja like the Yondaime! Maybe even better...'

Turning to the next chapter, the blonde continued reading.

Chapter 1 – Your mindset

.. And despite what many pervert-haters may have told you, or any morals that have been driven into your mind thanks to your upbringing, one should always be open minded. With anything. Period. I learned this lesson when I was asked whether I was bisexual or not after I questioned a young lady of said question. It was my foolish close-minded behavior and homophobia that caused me to miss out on a threesome with her twin sibling. I was devastated of course but, like any man would, I learned from my pain and shame! Always have an open mind! Don't judge! Try something first, before being against it, as you'll never know. Now I'm not telling you to go do another guy, because that's just wrong! To me at least. What I mean is accepting and tolerating the fact that such things are possible. The moral of the above story should be pretty obvious too. You will score big time, if you give anything a shot! Within bounds of course...

The small blonde boy pumped his fist in the air. "Yosh! I'll give anyone and anything a chance, then I'll be one step closer to becoming stronger than the Yondaime!" The blonde grinned evilly at the thought of the people of Konoha bowing down to him and finally respecting him, before he continued reading.

Chapter 2 – Your tools

... And therefore it is important that you realize the importance of utilizing these 'tools' correctly, for if you don't, dire consequences shall be suffered! Now as I was saying, your most powerful weapon in your arsenal would be your personality. You'll really need to crank up the charm for the ladies for this. A good way to use this tool is to act the way that they'd never expect you to act. Be an exception to the norm! Change your ways and make yourself attractive to them! Make yourself become their desires!

Another powerful tool is your looks, whichever look you choose, it HAS to be found attractive to your targets, otherwise your efforts will be futile...

Naruto continued reading the rest of the book well into the darkness of the night, committing everything to memory to use when he could. Tomorrow was Saturday, he didn't need to worry about going to the academy.


The next day was a sunny day, with not a cloud in sight. Naruto could be seen walking in no particular direction. He was currently looking for someone to test the theories of his new book on. While walking he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going, so it is no surprise that he bumped into someone much larger than him. Looking up, the blonde saw it was one of 'those' villagers that would always hurt him intentionally.

Cringing slightly the blonde panicked and scanned his surroundings. Looking to his left he saw two young women coming out of a nearby restaurant. The first had ebony black hair with exotic crimson eyes, and the second had violet raven hair and eyes of a light chocolate brown shade. 'Perfect! Here goes...'

The blonde proceeded to bite his cheek, hard. Feeling tears coming from his eyes he allowed them to roll down his cheeks and masked his face with a sad pout, sobbing in front of everyone. The man in front of him, that was about to hit him, fist raised in the air and all hesitated for a second, which was enough for him to be knocked onto the ground thanks to a purple haired young woman.

"HEY! What the hell do you think you're doing to this kid!!" The question was snarled in a feral manner effectively scaring the shit out of the man. "T-the little demon attacked me and tried to steal from me!" The young woman turned her eyes to the small blonde at her feet, and gave him a questioning look. "Is this true?"

Naruto grinned inwardly, outside his lower lip quivered and he looked up at the woman with large teary eyes. "No! He was being mean to me! He touched me between my legs!" The blonde let out a choked sob when he finished, and turned his teary eyed, pouting face to the other woman with the red eyes. "Are you going to be mean to me too?"

Kurenai felt her heart being crushed by the look on the cute little blonde's face and shook her head. "No, but I sure as hell will be to this child molesting bastard!" she said turning narrow eyes to the man. Kurenai and Anko then proceeded to turn to the 'child molester' each with looks of fury on their faces.

The mans eyes widened in fear.

"AAAAH! Dear Kami-sama! No, NO!! That doesn't go there!"


Having finished punishing the 'evil man' appropriately, the two Konoichi's turned to the small blonde still sitting on the ground looking like a kicked puppy. When they neared him, he scampered back from them in no small amount of 'fear'. "N-no! Please don't be mean to me." The blonde finished this statement by forcing more tears to his already chibi-fied eyes and quivered his lower lip once more.

Kurenai was the first to break. She quickly pulled the small blonde into her arms and stood up holding him tightly. "We wont hurt you little one. Right Anko-chan?" The violet haired young woman next to her nodded and also pulled the little blonde into a hug of her own. "Yeah! We'll kick the asses of anyone that tries to!"

The blonde peeked out from under his cover in Kurenai's bosom with wide 'innocent' eyes. "Weally?" he asked eyes shining with hope. Both girls blushed and hugged the blonde while yelling. "Kawaii!"

Naruto froze when they pulled him into a hug, unused to this new sensation. Then started relaxing and untensing when he realized he enjoyed the attention. Eventually they untangled themselves and put the blonde back on the ground.

The blonde smiled shyly at the two woman. "Can you teach me how to beat those meanies?" Kurenai sighed slightly. "I'm sorry kid we can't-" She stopped mid-speech when the blonde's face returned to its previous chibi appearance, teary eyes, quivering pouty lips andmu everything. "Pweeease?" Kurenai resisted the urge to hug him again, while Anko did and cuddled the young blonde to her bosom. "Of course I'll teach ya kid! Nobody's gunna mess with you once I'm done with you! I'm sure Kurenai will help too, right Nai-chan?"

Kurenai frowned at them when they looked at her expectantly. "I don't think that's such a good ide-" So stopped short when the blonde turned to face her in his 'chibi-mode' along with Anko, both pouting at her with teary eyes. Kurenai sighed, and fought against the twitch on her lips. "Oh alright."



Yo! Just me. I'm sort of doing an experimental fic here. So I'm not sure if I'll go beyond one chapter. Tell me what you think, and I might add more chapters!