A/N: Inspired from that scene in Corporal Punishment when Ziva 'punches' his gut .This is the other possible ending.
"Ziva did you kill Houdini?" Tony asked.
"It is possible. I do not remember all their names." I replied.
That was a lie. I remembered all of their names, the method I used and the family and friends that they left behind.
I opened the book that was on my lap and flipped through the pages. Names and pictures of my victims lay before me.
I remembered the Arna's. They had been the first family that I had been ordered to assassinate. I had killed couples, but never a family. Gadiel and Gana were the parents to two sons, Givon and Hanan, and a daughter Levana. I killed them all by a shot to the head.
I sighed, and flipped to the back of the book. I read the last few names.
I felt the tears that had been prickling behind my eyes, slowly fall down my face.
I remembered my big brother. He was there for me when no one else was. I remembered coming into Gibbs' house and hearing Ari say that he killed Kate and that he was going to kill Gibbs. I remembered pointing my gun at my big brother's head and pulling the trigger. I watched as he fell to the floor. Dead.
I remembered Dr. Burns. She had been involved in the death of Staff Sergeant Warren Sorrow. Dr. Burns had a gun trained on Ducky and told me to drop my gun. I threw my knife into Dr. Burns heart. I watched as she fell to the ground. Dead.
I remembered Brian Dempsey. He was the obnoxious jerk that Tony and I had arrested for possession of heroin. I offered to pay Tony to take him up to interrogation, but he declined. I remembered getting into the elevator and hitting him in the jugular. Ducky ruled it an accident, but I know he only did that to protect me. I watched as he fell to the floor. Dead.
The tears started to flow freely as I picked up my pen and wrote the name of my newest victim.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
There was a raid at the warehouse today. Drug dealers and terrorists. Gunfire broke out and somehow the bullet from my gun ended up in Gibbs. I was in shock at first. But then I realized that I knew it would happen sooner or later. The people I care about always ended up dead. I remembered watching my boss fall to the ground. Dead.
I know that the team doesn't blame me. I blame myself, but it was an accident. I know that it killed Ducky to have to do another autopsy on another dear friend. I know it killed Jen to see a former lover killed by a friend. I know it killed Abby seeing her boss and friend laying in autopsy. And the fact that Abby had to match the slugs that killed her friend to her other friends' gun, only made it worse. I know that it killed McGee to see his mentor killed. Thankfully he wasn't there when Gibbs hit the ground, but the effect was the same. I know it killed Tony to see his boss, and the man who trusted him with his team, die. It killed me to see the man that I shot my brother for, dead by my own hand. Every time someone I love dies, it takes a piece away from my already distant and cold soul.
I moved my pen down to the next line and wrote, in careful letters:
I picked up my gun. The same gun that I had used to kill my brother. The same gun that I used to kill Gibbs. Tears started to form in my eyes again as I remembered the good times, and the bad times that I had with my team, my family. I put my gun to my temple, whispered my apologies and goodbyes to them, and pulled the trigger. I watched from up above as I fell to the floor. Dead.