Wow, my first entry for Wallflower… Funny, but it's my favourite manga, after Naruto and Bleach
Wow, my first entry for Wallflower… Funny, but it's my favourite manga, after Naruto and Bleach. Meh.
I love writing in second person. It's so easy to do.
Disclaimer: Ha. I wish.
Dedication: To being up late at night, trying to stop your best friend from killing himself.
Sunako used to be afraid of the dark. You know that, because your crazy-ass landlady told you so.
Once, it wouldn't have mattered that she didn't like to sleep with the light out. It does now though.
When she smiles, you watch her, because you know those smiles can't last long. She's losing herself, and even now, as you watch, you wish you could save her.
But then again. She doesn't need saving.
She never has.
And she never will, and maybe it's that little fact that bothers you, because you want to save her. Wanting so badly to save her, to snap at her, then managing it, and then wincing in smug satisfaction as she beat the living hell out of you.
That's always the way you and Sunako were.
Even Ranmaru commented on it. Even Takenaga commented on it. Even Yuki commented on it. And Yuki had always hated the fighting.
Lately, she's not been coming home.
It's a little odd, because this is Sunako we're talking about, but lately she's… been going out. Noi has been bringing her out, bringing her into the sun, and showing her what normal teenagers like.
You want to think this is a good thing, because it'll turn her into a lady, but then you turn around and contradict yourself. You don't want her to change. She's still Sunako, and she's still yours.
And this matters much more now that you're alone.
The others have gone off somewhere (to mooch some food, no doubt), but something held you back. You wanted to wait for Noi and that stupid girl.
You've never said her name out loud.
That would be acknowledging she did exist, and that would hurt.
It would probably hurt more then the two days you were chained together at the wrist, because then, you were close to her. Close enough to notice that curled into a ball during the night. Close enough to hear the dry sobs ripping from her chest as she slept.
And that had hurt. It had hurt knowing she was crying without even realizing it. And you know you do nothing to help. But she's Sunako and she's yours and nothing can ever change that.
But she's running in, Noi trailing not far behind, both of them laughing happily. You note this, and an immediate reaction pulls to your lips.
You sneer, and call her 'Stupid'. Not ugly, never ugly. Sunako was not "ugly".
She glares at you, calls you bastard, and then rushes to her room. Noi too, glares at you, creases in her forehead, and then rushes after Sunako.
That night, you realize how much you've hurt her, when you hear the usual dry sobs, only a little thickened. A little thickened with tears, and you realize she's awake, and she's crying, and this is all your fault, and there's nothing you can do to save her now. She doesn't want to be near you.
That still doesn't stop you from getting up, and slinking carefully to her door. Even if you're a little closer, you know it won't change much. She'll still be crying a little later, and wake up with tear tracks on her cheeks, just like every other morning.
She just doesn't know where they're from, because she's always repressed bad memories.
You slip into her room, and close the door behind you with a soft click. She's tossing and turning, and you realize you hate yourself, just a little, for causing this.
She doesn't require the pain you know you're putting her through. That's unfair, you know it is.
She stops moving, stops thrashing, stops crying, and you think she's woken up, but you know she hasn't, so you slip under the covers, and wrap your arms around her. She's always been yours, and she'll always be yours.
She's so small, you marvel. Tiny waist, tiny arms, tiny frame. And her hair's grown down to her waist. When did that happen?
You know you haven't been paying attention recently, but you know this isn't fair to her. And besides. You miss her. Just a little.
It will be hours before she wakes up. You don't even have school today, so if she had her way, she'd sleep the entire day.
Knowing Noi, Sunako would be up by eleven.
The thought makes you smile a little. You really haven't spent much time together recently. Maybe you should take her to a batting cage, or another horror movie. She had liked that, and so had you.
But as you stare down at her sleeping face, you know you'll never do anything differently. Tomorrow will be just the same. You'll insult her, she'll smack you, and then run to the kitchen to hide for a bit.
You hate it, but you know it's the truth. This is unfair, to both of you (because she's yours and you're hurting her), but nothing's ever going to change.