"All right," Shawn intoned seriously, looking at each person who was seated around the small restaurant booth. "I think we all know why we're here."
Gus nodded in solemn agreement, but James and Dule just glanced at each other quizzically before finally looking back at Shawn.
"We don't." James answered for both of them. "What's going on?"
Shawn cleared his throat delicately, trying to find the most tactful way to broach the apparently sensitive subject.
"Just tell them!" Gus urged, nudging his friend with his elbow.
"Okay…" Shawn sighed in resignation, finally turning to James. "…First of all, I love the hair."
"Thanks…" James murmured, running his fingers through his hair, still slightly perplexed.
"Seriously, dude. What do you use? Paul Mitchell?" Shawn pressed on, doing anything he could to avoid the actual subject.
"Shawn!" Gus snapped impatiently. "We're not here to talk about hair!"
"Then why are we here?" Dule demanded, glancing at his watch. "We're supposed to be on the set."
Shawn coughed loudly, still hedging for some reason. Gus rolled his eyes and finally stepped in.
"Stop playing us like goofballs!" He exclaimed.
James and Dule blinked in surprise.
"Goofballs?" Dule snorted, folding his arms across his chest defensively.
Shawn shrugged apologetically at James.
"I think you're cool…" he murmured.
"Cool?!" Gus hissed, glaring at his best friend. "Shawn, we talked about this! They're making us look like goofballs!"
"We are not!" Dule insisted. "We're just remaining true to the integrity of our characters!"
"Integrity?! Gus shot back, grabbing his briefcase off the floor.
"Oh, God, Gus…" Shawn groaned. "Not the briefcase…"
But it was too late. Gus had already opened it and produced several photos, which he plopped on the table between them.
"Look at this!" He shouted, grabbing one of the photos and holding it up for everyone to see.
It was a screen still from Psych. In it, Dule's shirt had been ripped open and his head was covered in shaving cream.
"You call that integrity?" Gus demanded, absolutely fuming. "You made me look like a…a…"
"…a goofball?" James finished the thought for him, trying to suppress a laugh.
Dule glared at him.
"Not helping, James." He growled.
"That never happened!" Gus yelled. "I've never been attacked by girls at a bachelorette party in my life!"
"Really?" Shawn grinned, his eyebrows arching. "You should try it sometime, Dude…it's fun!"
"Look, Gus." Dule sighed. "I don't know what to tell you…it was funny!"
"Funny? You think making me look like an idiot is funny?"
"Well…" Shawn shrugged, assuming he was speaking for the group. "….It is kind of funny…"
"Oh, yeah?" Gus snapped, grabbing another one of the photos. "Then how about this?"
He held it up, and James immediately burst out laughing.
It was another screen still from Psych. This one was from the Nine Lives episode, and it showed Shawn sitting on Lassiter's lap after recovering from a "psychic vision", which had involved a dazzling, stretchy dance number.
"That never happened, either!" Gus continued. "Shawn wouldn't sit in Lassiter's lap! And he sure as heck wouldn't dance! And why is he always fighting with that guy from Major League? His dad's not like that at all! Actually, Henry's a really nice guy!"
"We wanted nice…" James explained, shrugging limply. "But Corbin thought gruff was the way to go…and Steve Franks agreed…"
"Well, Henry's not gruff!"
"Oh, come on!" Shawn rolled his eyes. "He's a little gruff…"
"The point," Gus snapped, glaring at Shawn. "Is that you aren't accurately representing us! We're not bumbling goofs! We are serious detectives!"
There were several more screen stills left on the table. Gus picked them up and showed them to James and Dule. Each of them showed Gus making a different facial expression, ranging from apprehensive to terrified to mildly amused to smug.
"And what is up with these faces?" He growled at Dule. "I do not make faces like this!"
"Are you kidding?" Shawn laughed. "Dude! He has you nailed!"
"He does not!"
He looked around the table, expecting someone to back him up on this. But no one did.
"You do kind of make faces…" James told him quietly.
"…I just act what I see…" Dule added.
Gus' eyes narrowed bitterly.
"Well, I was still never attacked by girls at a bachelorette party!"