Title: The Pink Phone
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rule number 1 in Shin Makoku: Beware a bored Shinou.
Pairings: One sided Shinou/Yuuri and slight Shinou/Murata.
Warnings: This is pure crack XD.
Notes: This was inspired by a conversation on Live Journal, started when I first mentioned after listening to Shinou & Murata's drama CD, that Shinou had a voice that belonged on a phone-in porn line XD Also best to know the reason why Shinou gets so small when outside the temple.

The Pink Phone

In a rare moment of silence, (a.k.a Wolfram was out training his soldiers), Yuuri sighed happily and stretched, walking alone along one of the long corridors in Blood Pledge Castle. The sun was shining brightly through the windows, and the faint distant sounds of the maids busy with preparing lunch was coming from down the corridor.

He and Murata had arrived late last night from Earth, and as usual Murata had been acting rather suspiciously. When Yuuri had asked what was in the small waterproof box Murata had brought with him, all he got in reply was a pair of glinting glasses, and he knew there'd be no point in pursuing this question.

For now though, with the castle peaceful, Yuuri was on his way down to the grounds to find Greta. Humming to himself as he walked, he suddenly stopped as he passed one of the many wooden doors to his left. He could heard a strangely familiar sound coming through it, though not a sound he should be hearing in this world. He paused, and turned to look back at the door. A faint ringing tone, like a phone, was filtering through the ajar door. He blinked. Was he hearing things?

Walking back to the door, he called quietly through the gap, "Hello?", but when no one responded, he pushed the door open.

It was a small room, consisting of a couple of storage boxes on the floor and a wooden table and chair. On the table however, was the source of the noise, and Yuuri stared at it in disbelief.

Happily ringing away to itself was a mobile phone, a bright pink mobile phone.

"Eh?" Yuuri said to himself, utterly confused. How the heck did a phone get here? He looked around the small room as if expecting someone to step out and answer it, but when no one did, he cautiously walked up to the table to get a closer look.

He definitely wasn't seeing or hearing things, it was definitely a mobile phone and it was definitely ringing.

Looking over his shoulders again to check if anyone was going to walk in, and still with a look of confusion, he picked up the phone, stared at it, before pressing the little green button and placing it to his ear.

"Eh...hello?" he asked, feeling very stupid.

There was silence the other end, before a deep, velvety voice said, "Yuuri..."

Yuuri nearly dropped the phone in panic, but managed to keep it to his ear as he said in a stunned voice, "Sh...Sh-SHINOU?!" he exclaimed, staring wide eyed at the wall in front of him.

"Yuuri...no need to sound so shocked to hear me."

Not surprisingly, Yuuri seemed to have lost the ability to form sentences, "What...but...you..."

"May I ask you something Yuuri?" Shinou interrupted, and Yuuri managed to reply with a weak: "Um...okay..." his eyes wide and unbelieving.

"Would you like me to...remove a part of my clothing?"

What was left of Yuuri's brain trying to cling to the reality that he was talking to a dead King on the phone, dissolved instantly.

"...what?" he asked, in a deadpan tone.

A deep, heavily put on sigh emitted from the other end of the phone, "Ahh Yuuri...you are but a young man, I would not be upset if you had heated bodily feelings for me-"


"-in fact I'd be more than happy to oblige in any needs. You may touch me whenever you want, I have not felt another myself in such a very long time after all."

"Ah hahaa, Shin-"

"Ones needs grow after such a long time without physical contact, the heat of another body against your own, the erotic sounds of your partner. But, for now..." there was a pause, and you could practically hear his smile, "...why don't we both get comfortable and remove our clothing?"

By now Yuuri seemed to be having a mild heart attack, "Shi-Shinou!! W-what are you t-talking about?!"

"Mmmm?" Shinou asked, before there was a low deep chuckle, and in his usual smooth voice continued with: "I will assume you do not wish to stay a virgin forever, and I would like to tie you down to your bed and correct that for you."

"WAH!" Yuuri dropped the phone as if he'd been electrocuted! It clattered to the floor underneath the table, and in one swift movement the blur that was Yuuri Shibuya bolted from the room in terror.

Earlier that morning...

Murata sighed in relief. Having explained how to use the phone 14 times, Shinou seemed to finally understand, at least enough to use it without repeatedly asking how it worked.

"Will this keep you entertained for at least a few days?" Murata asked, as Shinou, sitting on one of the forbidden boxes, looked at his bright pink mobile phone with interest, turning it upside down and pressing random buttons.

"Mmm." he said distantly, and Murata resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Mah, I did have to pay for both of these myself you know, and they don't come cheap." he said, removing another identical pink mobile from his pocket.

"I'm sure I can think of a way to repay you." Shinou smiled across at him, and Murata sighed exasperatedly at those twinkling darkened eyes.

"Shinou, I've told you not to look at me like that." Murata scowled, but the smile on his lips removed any harshness from his tone, and Shinou seemed to agree as his smile widened slightly.

"Now don't go scaring Shibuya too much with these," Murata said firmly, waving his own pink phone at Shinou, "or I may have to take these toys away from you."

"Would I do something like that?" the blond king said far too innocently, and the raised eyebrow on Murata's face said that yes, he certainly would.

However, Shinou chose to ignore this expression, "Do ensure he answers that one won't you?" he called after Murata as the teen turned around towards the shrine doors.

"Yes yes," Murata waved over his shoulder.

Honestly, the things a babysitter had to do to entertain his child.

"Oh, and if I wake up tomorrow and find myself tied down to my bed again, I'll refuse to carry you outside the Shrine for a month." he called behind him as he walked through the doors, turning and flashing Shinou a wicked smile, before shutting the doors and leaving his previous King pouting in the darkness.

Really, his babysitter denied him all the fun things.

The End

Authors Note: Don't ask how the mobiles can work without a phone company or satellites, this is fanfic, fanfic don't need make no sense XD