He was damn beautiful. I think he knows it too because he struts around shirtless, teasing me with the view. Except…he's too sophisticated to strut and he only goes shirtless if we're alone; only if Momiji is nowhere to be found. It makes me wonder…does he just do it to tease me or…or is there another reason? Maybe he's just oblivious.
I would like to think that but he's often caught me staring and I always look quickly away because his eyes begin to darken and I fear his anger. I busy myself with something, anything, to tear my eyes away from that perfect tanned torso, from the way his muscles ripple beneath the smooth skin. At least, I think its smooth, I've never touched him.
Vaguely, I can hear him asking me if I'm alright. Me? I'm fine, I'd be even better if he put a damn shirt on. But I don't tell him that. I stare blankly at him, like I always do, and tell him I'm tired. His broad hand rests on my shoulder for a minute and it's so hard not to shiver. Even his hands are smooth but then, I think, he's a doctor, why wouldn't his hands be smooth? I can feel his eyes on me, like he doesn't believe what I'm saying. But it doesn't matter because if I told him the truth, he'd never look at him again. So I turn to walk away. That's all I'm really good at; walking away
I watch him walk away from me, unable to say something, anything to keep him here. Keep him next to me. I really shouldn't even been entertaining the notion of being with him. It's not right; it's something Aaya or Shigure would be doing, not me. Not responsible, level-headed Hatori. So I won't tell them about this one little indiscretion.
As I watch that boy walk away from me, my heart breaks. He seems so sad suddenly, so lost. And when I look into his eyes, the sparkle and life I used to see there is dead and only the coldness remains. I don't want him to be like me. I want him to be happy. But I don't think he's happy here. It's this thought, I believe, that breaks my heart the most.
Because I want him here, with me.
He's calling me again. I think dinner's ready and I dread walking down the stairs just to see him sit across from Momiji and I, silent and completely unreachable. So I don't move. I don't want too, I don't want to eat. I want to stay on my bed, lost in my day dreams forever because it's in those dreams that I'm happy because he sees me.
I hear footsteps getting closer and I bury myself farther beneath my blankets until I feel a weight on my bed and I freeze. I wait, holding my breath until my lungs burn. It's then he speaks, the deep tenor voice shattering the silence of my room.
"You're…not happy here, are you Haru?" The question surprises me so much I sit straight up and stare at him with disbelieving eyes. Was he sending me away? Had he figured out my secret? Was he so ashamed of me he wanted me gone? I must have started blurting out these questions because he put a hand over my mouth and looked at me curiously.
"Why would I be ashamed of you Haru? What secret?" My mind reeled as he asked his own questions. Shit.
I turn away from his questioning eyes, unable to look at him. He wouldn't let the issue drop, if he felt it was something serious he needed to know.
"It's nothing, I just don't feel well. I am happy here, Hatori-san." I hoped it would work but Hatori didn't buy it and he grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him.
"Don't lie to me."
Haru was a horrible liar. His black eyes betrayed everything. Or maybe, I knew him too well. But here we are, in his room and he's staring at me with those eyes and not saying anything. He's so close…I caught myself leaning forward a bit and I stop myself, watching the hope in his eyes die. Maybe I imagined that flicker because Haru could never want someone like me. Right?
"I'm happy here. I'm just not…happy. It's a teenage thing, right?" He laughs mirthlessly and I don't release my hold on his chin. He doesn't pull away.
"I wouldn't know. I haven't been a teenager for a long time. But tell me, honestly, why are your eyes so sad?" I ask and note how much he pales, as if he'd thought, or rather hoped, I hadn't noticed, hadn't seen through him.
"They're not." He protests and my hold on him tightens and I scowl.
"I told you not to lie."
"But what if…you hate me for the truth?" If it's possible, his eyes darken farther and the sadness there increases, like his heart is breaking but he doesn't look away.
" I don't hate people, Haru, and I wouldn't hate you." I don't think I could ever hate the black and white haired boy sitting in front of me. He's far too cherished to be hated. I see war in his eyes and I know he's torn about something but before I can demand he tell me, his lips are crushed against mine.
My mind is racing and I can't breathe. I've just kissed him, or rather I'm still kissing him, and I'm afraid; afraid that any moment he will get up and walk away, telling me to go to sleep. I'm so caught up in my thoughts, I barely feel his hand slip around me and pull me closer. A nip at my lip requests entrance and I gladly give it to him.
I open my eyes to find his closed, to find him pushing me back on the bed before he gets up, breathing heavily and goes to the door. I want to cry but instead of leaving, he shuts the door, locks it and crawls, crawls dammit, back over me and captures my lips again.
Maybe there's hope after all.
Haru tastes sweet. Much sweeter than I thought anyone could be. I'm watching him sleep now and he looks…happy. Peaceful. It's a memory I think I'll keep the closest. I pull his bare body closer to mine and lay my head down to sleep, surprisingly exhausted. Haru's young and energetic and he may just wear me out but I think it might be worth it, if he keeps smiling at me like I'm the only thing that makes his world go around.
If he keeps loving me and never stops.
An: ohayo! First Furuba ever so be gentle T.T. one shot, enjoy