This is my first fanfic, I humbly ask for you to read and comment, for I would like to know how I am doing

This is my first fanfic, I humbly ask for you to read and comment, for I would like to know how I am doing.

Reason number 215 why I don't own Death Note: Mello and Matt are not a couple.

It's written from Matt's point of view. That is all.

Mello's Guide To Girls

Phase 1

Chapter 1:


What's ironic is that Mello's always surrounded by girls. You'd think a guy who looks so much like the other gender wouldn't be able to get a date, but no. He has like 5 or 6 of them every night.

There must be something about running the Mafia that causes this abnormal phenomenon.

And, they're loud. Abnoxious actually. It's quite painful to sit on the couch and pretend you are super interested in your God of War PS2 game (a manly game) and not super jealous of those girls fucking your roommate.

Your straight roommate who you have to pretend you are indifferent to because otherwise he might kick you out for staring at his (georgeous) ass.

I mean, it's not my fault he wears such tight leather pants.

But I certainly don't want to end up outside (which is where Mello just might send me).

Because he's certainly not gay, if the screams of the girls are anything to go by. Transgender? I'll give him that. But I suppose it's not his fault he looks so much like a girl.

I blame his parents, whoever they are.

Which makes me remember to hope he can't read minds. Because otherwise, I'm so screwed. And not literally, either. Which sucks, because literally, well that would be amazing. (What, you thought I played Super Mario to look at Princess Peach?)

So I think Mello's getting slightly suspicious of my less than holy intentions. I just can't stop staring at him (What? Mario and Luigi just don't cut it). And I also seem to have a force field against members of the opposite sex.

Mello gives me shit for that sometimes. But normally I don't mind. I only need it as a cover to save my sorry ass from getting kicked to the curb if he finds out what exactly goes through my mind.

I don't see what his problem is. I mean, we can't all have 80 bajillion girls at our every call to have sex with whenever we want. (Not that I'm interested in that. I'm more interested in keeping him out of my room so he won't find the new Zac Efron poster I just put up).

I think it has something to do with being a mafia boss.

I desperately needed a cover (that wasn't mafia boss). Something that said, "I, Mail Jeevas, no, Matt, am completely straight and am in no way interested in my unbelievable attractive, leather wearing, blond bombshell roommate." Then I decided.

Girl advice. Mello would help me with girls (and I wouldn't have to waste time doing stupid shit climbing up the mafia ladder).

The only flaw in that plan was the actual girls. I'm not particularly interested in spending to much quality time with them, if you know what I mean. Some are cute, like that idol, Misa-Misa or something, but only from a distance.

But it would allow me to spend some time with Mello.

It was a trade off. But, would he buy it?

Good question.

Only one way to find out!

Plan Devised: Level up!-

Please comment!