A reason for being

by Kelly Moreland

I guess it's the biggest mystery of life, your reason for being here. Everyone wonders about it at some time. I just recently figured mine out, but I'll get to that in a second. See, I'm an Air Force Colonel, special ops trained, I've been through things and situations that would make most men crap their pants. I can handle myself in almost any situation, and for years that is exactly what I have done, spent my life just handling things.

Now it's different. Very different. When she first came to me and asked, I thought she was joking. It took a week for it to sink through my thick skull that she was indeed serious. Carter wanted to have a baby.

We know how we feel for each other, but we can never be together because of the regulations. But that doesn't mean she can't be a single mom. Then I went from shock to feeling honored in a way. Rather than go to some sperm bank she asked me if I would donate. We don't have to sleep together, personally I would rather do it the old fashioned way, but it would be too personal for both of us. So we went the clinical route and it took the first time.

Even though I wasn't there for every minute of the pregnancy, it seemed like I was. I knew when she was sick in the mornings, I felt the baby kick. So did Daniel and Teal'c, which made me oddly jealous. I was the one she called when she went into labor. I was there when an eight pound nine ounce baby girl came into this world and I heard her first cry. It was the most beautiful sound in the world.

So I'll be a father to this child in every way I can. I can't marry Sam, but I can help raise my daughter. That's my reason for being here.