Yah... so my face is gone now. lol. this took a lot longer to get out than I planned. I wrote the first ten pages of this within the first 3 days of posting chapter 17, and the next 11 came over the crazy month that ensued.
So offering my humblest apologies, I hope you enjoy this last chapter of Axis.
No sequels. absolutely not. lol. you can expect LOTS more akuroku from me tho.
I got too impatient to have it beta'd, so if you come across any mistakes, please pass em along to me and i'll take care of em.
Roxas had no first reaction. No instincts or impulses. All he could do is stand there, staring at mass of red spikes and the face sitting beneath it. When Axel began to advance, however, he was snapped out of reverie and he quickly slammed the door shut and locked it, retreating into the confines of his old bedroom.
Damn that brother of his! Damn his boyfriend too. Those meddling, conniving bastards. Roxas closed the blinds to his bedroom window and wished that he could somehow lock the door in there as well. But the bedroom door had no lock, (if he had been thinking more clearly at the time, he would have gone into the bathroom) and so he could only listen, while sitting very tensely on the edge of his bed, to the door unlock and footsteps make their way down the hall.
They stopped in front of his door and Roxas' heart was thrumming loudly and out of control.
"Don't bother knocking," Roxas heard Sora's voice command, "He wouldn't answer. Just go in, there's no lock on the door."
Roxas had never felt more like more of a coward in his life. He'd probably stare down the barrel of a loaded gun more readily than he would face Axel right now.
The door opened in a dramatically slow fashion (or was that just Roxas' hallucination?) and Roxas jumped to his feet, prepared to run out of the room as soon as Axel was all the way in.
Axel stepped into the room, didn't bother meeting Roxas' eyes and closed the door behind him. Roxas didn't have time to launch his plan into action before the redhead had leapt forward and tackled him back onto his bed.
"Hey!" Roxas complained loudly, attempting to escape, "What are you doing! Get off me!"
"If I let you go now," Axel began as Roxas continued to struggle, "You're only going to keep running."
Roxas kept wriggling, but the more he moved, the stronger Axel's hold seemed to get, until the former grew too tired to keep trying. It didn't keep the frown off of his face.
"Are you ready to listen yet?" Axel asked.
Roxas was lying completely under Axel, arms clamped immovably to his side and his face was only inches away from his. Roxas made sure to keep his eyes averted.
"I guess I don't have much of a choice now, do I?" Roxas grumbled.
"No, you don't," Axel agreed, "So just give me a few moments here, ok?"
Roxas was silent.
"Roxas…" Axel began. The sound of that alone was to send Roxas' already racing heart near heart attack status again. "I love you."
Well, now that was comical.
"Ha!" Roxas scoffed, and began struggling again, "I give you a word and you start with crap like that. Get off me!"
Axel bent down and kissed Roxas, immediately rendering the blonde motionless. Without much thought, Roxas returned the kiss before remembering the situation, and pulling his head away.
"Roxas," Axel said again, "I'm going to need you to stay calm, and listen."
Roxas thought about it. Did he really want to look back at this moment and remember how much of his dignity he had left behind? Shouldn't he at least be able to look back in the future and remember himself having dealt with this situation with a little more pride about him?
"Ok," Roxas said, halting all movements, "I'm listening."
But Roxas was still refusing to look Axel in the eye.
"And I don't believe you." Roxas went on, "We haven't even known each other for a month."
"I know," Axel said, and Roxas could swear he heard a hint of grimacing in it, "believe me I know. I've told myself the same exact thing several times. And I know this is like, the mother lord of clichés, but I feel like I've known you for so much longer."(1)
Roxas would have frowned and called it impossible if he hadn't been feeling the exact same way. So he kept silent.
"Last night I was sitting in my bedroom," he smiled ruefully, "after Hayner had come back and told me your message, and I was trying to remember where it started. And I couldn't really figure it out. I mean, I know I've always been attracted to you, but I don't know when I started to fall for you. It just seems like one moment, it didn't matter to me one way or another if you were by my side, and then the next I didn't want you gone for even a second.
"I hadn't planned for things to happen, three days ago, like they had. I fell asleep that night the happiest man in the world! Not because I had finally I had you, but because of the meaning behind it. You must have felt at least some of what I felt for you. At least some… But I was afraid. Afraid that it was all a dream, afraid that you had lost your senses, afraid that it was just the heat of the moment. That's why I tried not to say much. I thought that if I said something—anything—it would snap you back to reality and you would realize what a mistake you were making. If I had told you then how I felt, you would have come back to reality and pushed me away.
"But I felt more guilty than I did afraid, just when I was about to take you. If I was going to do it, I didn't want it to be because you had temporarily lost your mind. So I asked you if you were ok with it. And you nodded! You nodded!"
Roxas didn't need reminding of that embarrassing moment, and could feel his face heating up at just the memory of it.
"Roxas, I couldn't hold myself back then. But when I woke up the next morning, you were gone. And I found out from Hayner, right then, that you had proposed to that—to that woman. I was trying to figure out why you would do something like that. Why you would sleep with me if you were fully prepared to marry her. I couldn't figure it out.
"I waited around a long time for you to come back, but you didn't. And just when I was ready to give up, your brother came and found me, and told me your side of the story."
Damn that meddling bastard.
"And so here I am," Axel went on, "to convince you that I don't just want you for your body anymore, Roxas. I want you. All of you."
Roxas turned to meet Axel's gaze at that last claim, and found the brilliantly green eyes not inches away from his own. He'd barely had time to get a good look at them before Axel closed the gap there was between their lips.
The kiss wasn't like any of the other ones he'd shared with Axel. This one was soft and gentle, caring. It sent chills all over Roxas' skin as Axel gently coaxed his lips apart. Axel slid his tongue into Roxas' mouth and the faintest of moans escaped.
For a minute, his senses almost fled him. For a minute, he found himself about to believe Axel's bullshit. Roxas was almost positive this was just another ploy to get him in bed.
He pulled away from the second kiss and glared furiously at Axel. He wanted to plead to the redhead to just stop. Leave him alone. Go ruin someone else's life now, because he'd already wreaked all the havoc he could on Roxas'.
He wanted to say that, but he didn't.
"I'm engaged now," he huffed as an excuse, trying to catch his breath again, "And this isn't some goddamn movie. We can't just go skipping off into the sunset together."
To Roxas' surprise, Axel let a loud, frustrated groan out and jumped off of him.
"Why the hell not?!" Axel asked, anger clear in his tone.
Roxas sat up, the urge to flee almost completely extinguished.
"You don't want her, Roxas," Axel went on, a pained look on his face, "You want me. You. Want. Me. If you loved her, Roxas, if you really loved her and you really wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, I swear, I wouldn't try to stop you."
Roxas looked at him incredulously.
"I wouldn't!" Axel repeated, "Maybe in the past—maybe with some other person. But… not with you, Roxie."
Axel walked towards Roxas again and (none to gently) brought the latter to his feet. Roxas stiffened as Axel snaked his fingers into his blonde spikes, and forced cerulean to lock with viridian.
Axel kissed Roxas again.
Why did he keep doing that? Roxas wondered, unable to bring himself to end the kiss this time. It was all he could do to stay on his feet.
Axel pulled away and Roxas was inwardly cursing himself out. For his weakness of mind, and for his damned heart! Why couldn't he make that infernal organ stop beating so fast!?
Why was Axel presenting him with a completely impossible situation? Even, by some glimmer of chance, if Axel were telling the truth, how could Roxas just walk away from Namine? From his engagement? After he'd told everyone about it, after everyone was expecting it? How could he just let everyone down like that?
Axel seemed to read his mind with eerie accuracy, because his hold on Roxas grew more impassioned.
"Damn it, Roxas!" he hissed, "Just forget about what everyone else wants! Forget about what your parents want, forget about what Namine wants, forget about what Sora wants, forget about what I want! What do you want?"
What Roxas wanted…
What I want…
Roxas knew the answer. It was immediate. But he had to wonder, why? Why Axel? Didn't he used to hate Axel? When had that fabled thin line become smeared and distorted?
Why was Axel so important to Roxas?
Was it because he kept coming back, even after all the "no"s Roxas threw at him? All the names he called him? Was it the fact that Roxas never had to hide himself from Axel? The self that yells at people when they're angry, the self that doesn't bend over backwards just to avoid a little dispute.
Maybe it was that Axel had always accepted that self that Roxas himself had hardly been prepared to accept.
Roxas' gaze refocused and he felt his breath begin to speed up again. Axel was still looking at him, still anticipating a response.
Roxas parted his lips to speak, choking a little on the words.
"I…" he began, "I… want… you--"
The words could barely escape Roxas' mouth before Axel had latched onto Roxas lips again. Roxas didn't even have to think about it before he was kissing Axel back, and anything in the world that wasn't Axel cast from his mind.
He wrapped his arms around Axel's (very) thin waist with a little hesitance. But that slight gesture was all the encouragement Axel needed.
"I…" Axel's entire being was hinging on how Roxas would finish his sentence, "I… want…you--"
Whatever self control Axel had been showing until that point had been broken, and he seized Roxas' soft lips before that sentence even had time to be fully completed.
Axel started the kiss off with relative gentleness, but soon ended up ravaging the shorter man, pushing him backwards onto the bed that lie behind him.
Axel's hands wandered all over Roxas' body, taking his time and truly enjoying the feel of him like he was afraid to before. Now that he knew that Roxas really was okay with it, now that he knew that Roxas really did want him.
Axel let his hands slip under the blonde's shirt and explored every inch of his touchable, smooth skin, savoring it, enjoying the reactions it got out of Roxas.
Axel broke away from the kiss to stare at Roxas. To drink it all in before lust took him over completely. Roxas stared up, breathing a little more heavily now.
Roxas' eyes were closed, head thrown back, and chest heaving up and down very noticeably.
Just when Axel was about to continue, Roxas suddenly reached up to stop him.
"Wait," he breathed, "just wait a second."
He sat up and shoved Axel to the other side of the bed. Axel peeled his face out of the comforter it had just been pushed into and frowned at Roxas.
"What?" he asked, "Are you just trying to kill the mood?"
"This is… a lot, Axel," Roxas said, face slightly flushed.
Axel sighed and sat up.
Roxas frowned a little, almost imperceptibly, and got to his feet. A quick stab of panic shot through Axel's heart, however, when Roxas started heading towards the door. Roxas had barely taken a step before Axel had gotten to his own feet and grabbed his hand.
Roxas looked back confusedly at Axel.
Axel realized in embarrassment his own clinginess, but couldn't find it in himself to let his hand go. He still hadn't fully convinced himself that this was all real, and as far as he knew, Roxas would be gone first chance he got.
From the expression of realization on the shorter man's face, Axel knew that Roxas had put two and two together. He opened his mouth to talk but then closed again, then opened, then closed.
"I'm sorry," he finally settled on, before snatching his hand free and quickly exiting the room.
Axel's initial reaction was to follow Roxas, but the fear of Roxas' exit being the blonde's way of letting Axel down rooted him to the spot. So all he did, all he could do, was listen to his footsteps until they were concluded by the sound of the front door shutting.
Roxas wasn't entirely sure that he should be driving with his mind focused on two million things, and none of them being the road. Had he really just admitted that to Axel?
Roxas groaned aloud and threw his head back violently against his head rest. Honks from surrounding vehicles brought his sight back to the stretch of road in front of him.
Could he really believe Axel? Why would he lie to such an extent though? It made no sense. The red light that he had just ran didn't make sense. Nothing made sense anymore.
Deciding it wasn't worth his life, Roxas pulled over into the nearest parking lot (to a fast food joint) and killed the engine.
One thing was absolutely certain: he couldn't stay with Namine anymore. If his conversation with Axel just then had made him realize anything, it was that he couldn't put himself through a life time of the same misery he was putting himself through already. He pulled out his phone and called her.
The ringing sounds seemed to drag on a lot longer than usual.
"Hello?" Namine's voice came from the other end, "Roxas?"
"Hey," Roxas voice cracked. He cleared it, "Hey. What're you up to?"
"Just going through my things deciding what I should or shouldn't pack," she said, and Roxas could practically feel her broad grin through the phone, "Why? What's up?"
"Can I come pick you up?" Roxas asked, not allowing himself any time to hesitate or dwell on it, "We need to talk."
She laughed blissfully, ignorantly.
"Famous last words," she said, "how far away are you?"
Roxas revved up the engine.
"I can be there in 10 minutes."
"Oh good," she said, "let's just stay on the phone then. I wanted to talk to you about what airline we should use. My parents already got us two first class tickets with Kingdom Airlines as a going away gift, but in my opinion they're a little iffy lately. Three crashes in two months—"
Roxas didn't really care to listen to her any more. Her voice was starting to make his stomach queasy.
"I'll just see you in a few," Roxas cut over her, "You know the new cell phone law."
"Oh," she gasped, "right. Well, see you in a few then! Bye hon."
Roxas hung up and forced himself to think of nothing but operating his vehicle up until he pulled into the parking lot of Namine's very large home. That car ride wasn't long enough. Roxas hadn't had enough time to properly work out the speech he'd been going over in his head. Break-ups weren't his thing. He wasn't a naturally charismatic speaker either. He wasn't suave or tactful. He didn't know how he was going to pull this off.
Man up! He inwardly shouted at himself, Just get out of the car and get it over with.
Roxas was finding that command exceedingly difficult to do. Almost three years of relationship was coming to an abrupt end because of three weeks with some crazed redhead? Roxas was banging his head against the steering wheel in agony when a voice suddenly snapped him out of it.
Roxas started and looked out his window to see Namine standing there, with a concerned look on her face.
"Are you ok?" she asked, taking the liberty of opening Roxas' door for him.
Roxas, still looking wide-eyed and stupid at her, shook his head and tried to gather all the courage and determination he could muster.
"Ah, yeah," he said, turning the car off and stepping out of it, "Listen-"
"You came just in time!" Namine smiled, and began dragging Roxas towards the house, "my parents were just about to leave, but now you can help me convince them about exchanging the tickets before you go."
"Two heads are better than one, after all," she went on, "two mouths too I guess."
"So which airline do you think we should go wi-"
Roxas froze and snatched his wrist out of her hand. Namine turned around with the utmost shock and confusion on her face. Roxas had become very agitated by her refusal to listen, and was sure that anger was quite plainly seen on his face. But he had to calm down if he was going to do this in the least painful way.
He averted his gaze to the smooth pavement beneath his feet and began to recite the speech he had half way worked out.
"You want to leave me, don't you?"
Roxas' eyes shot back up immediately to the woman in front of him, and he couldn't bring himself to respond.
"I knew it," she sighed with the saddest smile Roxas had ever seen on her face, "I knew it. These last few days were just too be true, especially after what I did at the party…"
"Namine," Roxas began, "it's not that-"
"It's Axel, isn't it?" she asked, rendering Roxas absolutely silent again. She looked like she was about to cry. "I knew that too. The instant you went after him instead of staying with me. I mean I'd suspected something from him but…"
Her voice was lost Roxas was simply at a lost. Were you supposed to console the person you were breaking up with? Was that allowed? Roxas didn't want to add insult to injury, so he just kept quiet and let Namine support herself.
"Oh," she said shortly, "you should probably…"
She slipped the golden, diamond encrusted band around her finger and held it out for Roxas to take.
"Namine, you really don't-"
"I want to," she said, taking Roxas hand and forcing him to take the ring, "it's just a symbol of a lie, right?" Roxas said nothing as Namine closed his fingers around the ring. "Classic break up lines, but, as long as you're happy. Right now, that's all I can really ask for right?"
She tried her best to put on a real smile for Roxas, who had now averted his gaze once again.
"But it sure does hurt a girl's ego," she continued, "being ousted by a man…"
Axel didn't know what day of the week it was, or the day of the month, and all the people who'd come up to the bar on his shift could notice that something was off with the redhead. All Axel knew was that it had been over six days since he'd seen Roxas.
Since he'd walked out on him last week, he hadn't been able to bring himself to even check up on the shorter man. The way he'd left was so ambiguous that it allowed Axel to hope that it hadn't been a total rejection, and the fear of having that hope completely extinguished kept him from even attempting to communicate with Roxas or anyone that he knew.
"—what I ordered. Hello? Axel? AXEL!"
"What?" Axel asked, jerking his head into reality, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
There was a tall dirty blonde in front of him with a beer belly. Axel hadn't noticed that he'd come in.
"This is the third time you've got my drink wrong," the guy said, "are you alright man?"
Axel heaved a long sigh and took the guy's drink.
"What did you ask for?" Axel asked apologetically.
"That's alright," he said, getting off of the bar stool, "you should take your break though. Unwind. Take it easy."
He left into the loud crowd of dancing idiots and Axel turned around to slap himself. He couldn't even do his job properly anymore. Maybe he should take his break; no one else was on shift though…
Axel turned his head around for a second to look at the bar. It was deserted anyway. He sighed and rested against the bar with his back to the rambunctious crowd, trying to block them out.
He heard it though when someone came up to the bar, took a seat, and cleared his throat.
Axel suppressed his sigh and turned around to face the customer.
"What'll it b…"
Axel's lips stopped moving and his voice stop working the instant he saw Roxas sitting in the chair directly in front of him across the bar. Roxas, small, blonde, blue eyed, beautiful Roxas. If Axel wasn't rooted to the spot, he might have jumped at the younger man for joy.
But that probably wouldn't have been the wisest of decisions. It would probably scare Roxas away. If Axel even allowed himself to think about moving or speaking, anything he would do would surely send the boy running right back out the same way he came in.
So he stayed there. Just like that.
"Hey," Roxas spoke, with that voice that that Axel hadn't realized how much he'd really missed until he heard it again.
Which made it even harder for Axel to keep quiet and still.
Roxas looked up and down the bar, noticing is desolation.
"You always have this much company?" Roxas asked, attempting a smile.
Axel gathered his balls and self control and willed himself to answer.
"It's the band," Axel answered, "stealing all my customers."
Roxas stared at him with an intensity that made Axel want to look away and stare back at the same time. It energized him and seemed to make it hard to stand.
"They're not that great," Roxas said, just above a whisper.
It took Axel a while to make it to the next line.
"So what's your story?"
Roxas finally looked away, releasing Axel from a little of the trance he was being held in.
"My love life's kinda screwed up," Roxas sighed, "I mean, I kinda screwed up my love life." Roxas looked up at Axel to gauge his reaction, but Axel was remaining determinedly unreadable. "I've been going out with this girl for two and a half years now and we just got engaged not too long ago. In a normal situation, everyone would congratulate me call it a day."
Roxas paused again and took a look at Axel.
"But I met this psychotic lunatic who decided to turn my whole world upside down. He's actually the reason that I decided to propose-"
"Wait, what!" Axel blurted before he could stop himself.
"But it didn't seem to help," Roxas went on nonplussed, "In fact things only seemed to get worse from that point. Especially when he tracked me down to convince me he was actually in love with me. Well if having sex didn't tip the scale, that certainly did the job."
Axel could see the flush across Roxas' face, but was still holding his breath. Axel wasn't entirely sure he was ready for this. No matter what happened at the end of the conversation, it was the end, and the little hope Axel had managed to hold on to would be gone.
"I broke up with Namine-"
Axel leaned over the bar and kissed Roxas with a swiftness and firmness that took the blonde off guard completely. Axel quickly backed off though, and put as much distance between him and Roxas.
"I'm sorry," Axel said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "g-go on."
Roxas recovered quickly from his surprise and went on as though nothing had happened.
"I broke up with her a week ago," Roxas went on, "and have spent these last days trying to work up the courage to come and see you agai-"
"Roxas," Axel cut over him, "could you please hurry up and make your point?" Before I rape you.
Roxas looked away and rested his face on his hand and mumbled something that Axel couldn't understand, and Axel's patience was wearing thin.
"What?" Roxas sighed, "you're really going to make me spell it out completely?"
There was no misinterpreting that. Axel stared at Roxas dumbfounded for a second, and walked slowly towards the blonde.
He leaned over and his face and Roxas' were only inches away.
"I would take you right here, and right now," Axel began, enjoying how red his cheeks became, "but you get really, really loud."
Axel had already predicted Roxas' reaction, and so was prepared when a tightly clenched fist began flying towards his face. Axel caught the fist effortlessly and in one swift motion closed the small gap that was between his and Roxas face. When the kiss ended, Axel was barely an inch away from Roxas when he felt a sharp, painful set of knuckles collide with the side of his face.
"Psychotic bastard," Roxas mumbled under his breath.
"So what does this make us?" Axel wondered aloud, rubbing his cheek, "are we together? Like, officially?"
"Roxas!" Axel heard a familiar voice call out, and when he looked up he saw Hayner and his friends coming up towards Roxas, and inwardly cursed them all for their horrible timing. "Hey Axel. I see you two have patched things up."
"Hayner, Pence, Olette," Roxas turned around and greeted, "perfect timing. Let's have all have a drink."
"Did we interrupt your conversation?" Olette asked politely with a smile, taking a seat beside Roxas at the bar.
"Nothing important," Roxas waved, and there Axel a covert glare that clearly wanted for him to remain quiet.
Axel only smiled and kept grabbed a glass to start cleaning. He stared at Roxas, laughing, smiling, and joking with his friends. It looked like one of the pictures that come in a new picture frame. Axel still wasn't entirely satisfied, he wanted to go home right then, take Roxas with him, and screw him senseless. But he'd waited for Roxas for long enough already, and one more hour or two wasn't going to kill him.
The ending is rushed as i was feeling very impatient with it and im very disappointed with it, and maybe in some later point in time, i'll extend it and give this story the ending it deserves, but right now, i just don't want it to stay incomplete. Sorry for all who share my sentiments.
When I sat down and decided to start this fic, I had just been drowning myself in chick flicks. So I decided, I'll write a chick flick too! And I decided I would follow a pretty generally accepted chick flick sequencing format:
The falling in love.
The falling out/catastrophe/something that's inevitably going to go wrong.
The happy ending.
Now my mission of having written a full fledged chick flick of my own (excluding characters used) is complete.
(1) I certainly feel like I've been writing for more than three weeks worth of story. D: