A/N: This was set in September 2010 so pre-Baby Daniel, who I love.
As they pulled up to the white and blue clapboard house she fought back the dread that started to gnaw at her insides.
You don't deserve this Sammy; he'll figure it out soon enough the voice repeated over and over until she could feel the beads of sweat start to form at her hairline.
Closing her eyes she sucks in a deep breath and tries to remind herself that Cody is dead and gone…he means nothing anymore. She wishes it was true…wishes he didn't haunt her dreams, or star in her nightmares. The car stopped and she tried to remember to smile, "Wow, I can't believe it's ours" she says hoping he doesn't detect the tremor in her throat.
When he looks at her with those dimples caved into his cheeks; she doesn't feel dirty anymore…because he loves her and to have earned that; there must be good inside of her.
"Samantha" he utters placing his hand over hers on the gear shift.
He's the only one she lets call her that because she loves the way it sounds falling off his lips. He is perfection. As trite as it sounds; he is. It's something she never thought she wanted and was sure as hell she didn't deserve it.
John Jagger Cates…upstanding officer of the law, amazing man, wonderful father, and lover of Samantha McCall, ex-grifter, con woman, scrapper…sure, it seemed quite the mismatch but for someone who had been chasing wrong her whole life; this felt too damn right to let go.
"You okay?" he asks concern written in deep brown eyes.
She had never expected to fall for him when he sought McCall/Jackal PI's help on a case…he wasn't her type, much too straight edge and on the right side of the law. Every moment she spent with him was her peeling back his layers waiting to find the one she didn't like…instead she found herself slowly letting him scale the walls she had around her and yet still fighting him at every turn.
It was practically a birth lesson, the art of biting before being bitten…and she had bared her teeth at him, pushed him away trying to ruin anything good in her life…because ruining it later would hurt more in the end.
Instead of being scared away, he tried harder, spoke sweeter, asked her out to dinner, brought her lattes in the morning, charmed her mother, Maxie, Spinelli and anyone else who would listen and persisted until she was too tired to fight any longer.
Looking at him she can't help but sigh softly, "I'm…"
He knows her…not the badass PI the rest of the world knows. No, he knows the scared little girl, the one who wanted to love her so damn bad she gave her body to a man hoping he would take her soul too…and he knew the woman who had more last names than she could count...yet he loves her more than everyone she tried to hide all that from. Loved her enough to put a ring on her finger, to give her his last name, buy her a two story house on the right side of town, make her the mother to his son, and get their names at the top of the list at an adoption agency.
"Sam!" Stone cries walking out onto the front porch.
The sound alone is enough to make her heart swell. Sometimes he reminded her so much of Danny that it made her want to hold him close and never let him go. It had been a long road, for him to start trusting her, but it had been worth it…and now seeing him reacting to her presence made her smile, "I'm fine Jag…really, really fine"
Nodding he lets it go as they climb out and Stone runs up to them. Robin is right behind them smiling, "He picked out his room already" she said smiling, "And I'm really glad to have you guys in the neighborhood" she finishes before Jagger scoops her up in a bear hug.
This was part of the package deal with him…this extended family and when Robin smiles and hugs her too she feels like those cracks in her heart are slowly being filled up with all this love.
Stone takes her hand, "Can I show you my room?" he asks.
Smiling, "I think I'd like that"
Walking upstairs she can imagine the pictures of them lining the wall, the master bedroom where the love would be made, Stone's room, their dual offices, and then there was the little room adjacent to the master bedroom…with the huge bay window facing the little park they would take their kids to play, that was where she would bring her baby home…and he would be the one to make that dream a reality.
His arms wrap around her and she rests against the hardness of his chest, "The movers are coming tomorrow" he whispers in her ear.
At that moment she realizes how much her life has changed since the moment she entered Port Charles. The woman she was before this had been a thrill seeker, chasing the next adrenaline fix and blowing wherever the wind and money took her…then she fell in love. Baby Girl McCall had been her first real love…and for those few moments she was in her life; it had changed Sam. Then it was Jason, Lucky, her mother and sisters that shaped her into this person…the one Jagger Cates chose to be his.
"I'm really happy" she murmurs.
Lips touch her temple, "You have made me the happiest man on Earth Samantha, I was waiting for something to come along and complete my life…you did it"
There is something different about him, maybe it's that he knows what it was like to grow up to fast and hard and to lose everything more than once. Maybe that's why he knows all the right things to say to put her at ease. Pulling away she turns to him before wrapping her arms around his neck, "You say all the right things Mr. Cates" she teases letting the happiness take over every other feeling.
"I speak the truth...Mrs Cates" he answers before kissing her lips.
Maybe she doesn't deserve him…but the scrapper left in her is hanging on for dear life.
One Month Later
The roast sits on the stove burnt to a crisp as they stare at it, "Ginos?" he asks.
Blowing a piece of bang out of her face she sighs…just another thing that she can't do right for him, "Sure" she says defeated.
Leaning over he kisses her nose, "Hey, its okay, I like take out" he tells her teasingly and smiling.
Rolling her eyes she watches as he walks out. Stone sits at the table, "Sorry Sam" he says reading the cookbook, "I think I worked out Celsius and Fahrenheit wrong"
Tussling his hair she smiles at him, "It's not your fault honey, I think maybe we should start with something easy next time…like something frozen or boxed"
Smiling up at her she leans in to hug him and places a kiss on his head, "You're the best kid I could have asked for, have I ever told you that?"
In the background she hears Jagger answer the phone and hopes it's not the PCPD asking him to come in tonight. Sitting down she flips through the cookbook with Stone deciding what their next adventure is.
Jagger enters the kitchen and his eyes look serious, "What's wrong?" she aks standing up.
Stone is staring his two dark eyes volleying back and forth between adults until dimples cave into his father's cheeks, "That was Mrs. Morello from the adoption agency…she has a baby Sam…tonight, we are getting out baby tonight"
For a moment his words don't really sink in...and it's not until Stone speaks in back of her, "I'm getting a brother and sister?" he asks the wonder tone filling their kitchen.
It's then she is in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist, tears soaking through his shirt. This was it...the fairytale ending for the girl with the nobby knees and sad eyes...he was it, "Thank you so much for loving me" she whispers into the crook of his neck, "Thank you"
That night she sat in the rocking chair in the room that faced the park and she held the dark haired little girl against her chest, Stone curled up asleep on the body pillow at her feet and Jagger knelt down next to her marvelling at their tiny daughter, "You deserve this Samantha…you deserve all of it" he murmurs in her ear.
When he tells her it, it's finally enough to drown out all the other voices in her head.