"Can you believe we actually got away with that?" Bobby asked his partner excitedly. "Tell me, my friend, what were the odds that the police would've shown up like that? Whoo Hoo! Bobby Hobbes is feeling lucky today!"
As Bobby swung his van into overdrive and skidded away from the scene as fast as he could, his unusually subdued, and currently visible, partner, Darien Fawkes, sat quietly next to him, an expression of shock and confusion on his face.
Sparing his friend a glance, Bobby nudged him in the arm.
Bobby grew concerned.
With a quick shake of his head, Darien looked down at his hands, "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm ... I'm okay … I think."
Bobby looked more closely at his partner. "What do you
mean you 'think?'
Darien scratched at his head. "It's just …"
"Just what?" Bobby pushed.
"Just … well … you … you …"
"You, you, yo, yo, what, what?
Darien winced and turned to look at Hobbes.
Hobbes was stunned, and a little hurt by the hostility in
his partner's voice.
Darien couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Bobby slammed on the breaks roughly and pulled the van
over. "Is that what's got you all in a tizzy? Aw, come on, Fawkes!
"And the best you could come up with was shoving me up against a wall, ripping my shirt open, latching on to my nipples and sucking like a Hoover?!"
"Well you're alive aren't you?" Bobby asked, indignantly. "If Bobby Hobbes hadn't 'made like a Hoover' on those precious nubs of yours, then we'd both be dead by now!"
Darien shook his head impatiently. "Don't you go trying to Bobby Hobbes your way out of this one, my friend. You and I have been in tight situations before and I don't ever recall your getting off on my nipples being a vital part of the escape plan!"
"We were stuck in the middle of an alley, for
"Yes! Think fast. Think about it, Darien.
Darien considered the question and shrugged. "Maybe."
"But," Hobbes continued, "If you look at it from a different standpoint and, instead, see two guys like us not just standing around but groping at each other like two dogs in heat, then you might what? Assume we were a couple of perves having a little illicit fun?" he suggested.
"Not necessarily," Darien responded stubbornly.
"Oh, come on, Fawkes! Considering the way you happen to be dressed today, it would hardly be an odd assumption." Hobbes persisted.
Darien's mouth flew open and stayed that way for a few
"Well … look at you."
Darien looked down at his clothes. "I do not!" he protested loudly.
"Oh you don't, do you?" Bobby said, looking Darien up and down. "You've got on a white, tight fitting tee shirt with the phrase 'Do Me' on it, that rides up so high when you move your arms that I could swear your belly button's been winking at me all day. Add to that, those bright red, high-water pants, that sissy looking beige leather jacket, those filthy, beat-up sneakers you're always so fond of wearing, and you could easily bag a role as a walk-on in a gay porn movie! And don't even get me started on that hair."
Darien had absolutely no idea how to respond to that. So,
frustrated, he turned away from his partner and stared huffily out the window.
"Well at least I've got hair!" he stated.
Bobby dismissed Darien with a wave of his hand and
restarted the van, shaking his head as he pulled back onto the road. "Freaked
out," he mumbled under his breath.
"Now you're being ridiculous, Hobbes!"
"Don't try that coy act with me, my friend. Bobby Hobbes
has been around the block a few times.
Darien flung his head back with exasperation. "You have got to be kidding! You can't possibly think that I … that I was actually trying t-to … seduce you?!"
Bobby laughed mirthlessly as he shrugged. "Whether you were trying to seduce me, or the Keep, or even the Fat Man … it doesn't matter. The point is that those nipples of yours are dangerous, my friend." Bobby furrowed his brow and paused. "Tell me something? Did those things get you into a lot of trouble in prison?"
Flabbergasted, Darien reached for the van door just as
Bobby pulled the vehicle into the Agency garage.
Bobby glanced over at his partner and smirked. "Trying to run away, huh? It's no use, my friend. I know this first hand. You can't escape 'em. Wherever you go, there they are!"
Darien ignored him and pulled his jacket closed.
Hobbes didn't say anything further until the van was parked and they were in the elevator on their way to the Official's office.
"You know, I been thinking …"
"No. No. I'm serious here, Partner.
"Oh yeah. Like you're going to be able to take my nipples seriously?" Agonized, Darien threw his hands up in the air. "This is ridiculous! I can't even believe we're having this conversation!" Rolling his eyes, he turned around and banged his head, none too gently, against the elevator door. Unfortunately, he was only able to get two bangs in before the door opened and he was forced to step out.
"Look, Dare," Bobby said, reaching out and grabbing his partner by the arm, inadvertently loosening Darien's jacket in such as way that he once again found himself face-to-face with the objects of their discussion.
"I am NOT discussing this any further with you, Hobbes.
Understand?" Darien practically shouted, shoving Bobby roughly away.
The next few days were really weird.
Bobby really wanted to talk about the matter but every time he tried, Darien would shoot him a look that made it clear he was through with it.
As the days passed, however, Darien was becoming more and
more confused. After spending some time going through his wardrobe he realized
that his partner had been right -- he really didn't own any shirts that did not
show off his nipples or outline his physique in some way. So what? He tried
telling himself. He worked hard to keep in shape. Why shouldn't he show off a
There was also the fact that Hobbes seemed to be unusually
fascinated by his nipples. During the course of their partnership, he had
caught Hobbes checking out his buds on several different occasions.
Even more, he recalled, that on the day that the
"incident" took place, his partner had seemed particularly preoccupied with
Feeling the need to get an outside opinion on the matter,
Darien decided to go and talk to the Keep.
Claire tried her best to keep a straight face as she
listened to Darien tell his tale.
"If you don't mind my asking, Darien. Why is it that you are so skeptical about Hobbes' ability to discuss this situation rationally?"
Darien raised his brow in surprise as he looked at the
tall blonde scientist. "You're kidding me, right, Claire?
Claire smiled warmly. "Yes, Darien. I am quite aware of whom we are speaking of. That is exactly why I find it hard to understand your attitude."
"What do you mean?"
"You forget, Darien. I'm not just your doctor, but Bobby's
Darien nodded thoughtfully as he considered what Claire had said, and it didn't take him long at all to realize that she was right.
"So you think that if Bobby really sees this as a problem
for us, then he'll do whatever he can to try and resolve it?"
Claire smiled and nodded. "Yes.
Darien got up from the chair and went to go pick up his
jacket. "Thanks, Keep," he said sincerely. "I appreciate your advice."
"Oh Darien?" Claire called after him.
Darien stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"
Claire approached him carefully, her expression somewhere between solemnity and sympathy. "There is one more thing I'd like to add, if you don't mind?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"Before you speak to Bobby, you might want to consider … well … that the problem might be more delicate than either of you may fully realize."
Darien began to feel strangely uncomfortable and actually found himself beginning to blush slightly. "What do you mean?"
Claire crossed her arms over her chest and tried her best to give her friend the most reassuring look she could. "It's just that, as someone who has had the chance to observe you and Bobby – objectively, of course – I couldn't help but notice a certain amount of 'flirtatiousness' in your behavior with one another."
"Flirtatiousness? Oh, come on, Keep! You know how Hobbes and I are? We like to joke around and stuff, that's all."
Claire looked skeptical. "Well, yes, of course you do. But there's an … shall we say intimacy to your banter."
Darien was appalled. "Oh come on, Claire? You make Hobbes and me sound like a couple of horny teenagers or something!"
"You know, I should have known better than to come here and talk to you. I figured that as a doctor you'd be able to look at this objectively, not turn it into some kind of gay fantasy!" Angry, he turned to leave.
"Darien?" Claire called out to her departing companion. "I didn't mean to insult you. I just thought it was something you should think about before you talk to Bobby!"
Darien ignored her and continued down the hall.
As Darien headed toward his car, he heard someone calling him. Turning around, he saw Hobbes driving along side him in his van.
"Need a lift?" The shorter man called out to his partner.
"No!" Darien yelled back, none too friendly.
"You might want to reconsider, my friend," Bobby persisted, dangling his hand out of the window.
Still angry, Darien glared up at his partner, ready to rip
him a new one, when he noticed Bobby pointing at something.
"Hey!" he yelled loudly as he began chasing after the
truck. "Hey! That's my car!"
"You sure you still don't need that lift?" Bobby called out to him.
"Shut up, Hobbes!" he groaned as he grudgingly headed toward the van.
"Whatever you say, my friend," Hobbes said in an unexpectedly reasonable tone. "Where to?" he asked after Darien was settled in beside him.
"Home," Darien replied, morosely.
"Then home it is," Hobbes said.
Darien looked at him glaringly. "Mine!"
"Okay," was all Hobbes said.
Twenty minutes later, the two men pulled up in front of Darien's apartment building.
Not even bothering to say goodbye, Darien climbed out of
"The same thing I've wanted for the last several days – to talk, my friend," Hobbes stated in a no-nonsense tone.
Darien sighed as he opened the lobby door. "Hobbes, I'm really not in the mood."
"Well, get in the mood," Hobbes said as he stepped in front of his partner and held the door open for him. "Because I'm not going another day working with you until we do!"
There were times when Darien knew not to mess with Hobbes
– this was one of them.
Bobby nodded as he shifted, somewhat uncomfortably, in his
Darien waited a few beats and then shook his head with confusion. "That's it? 'You've got nice nipples?'"
"Yup," Bobby replied with a nod.
"So what am I supposed to do with that, Hobbes?
Bobby looked disappointed. "Ya see? Now there you go getting all sarcastic!" He leaned in closer to Darien and fixed him with his gaze. "I'm trying to be serious here, and you're not willing to give me the same consideration. Is our partnership so insignificant to you that you can't even discuss this seriously with me?"
"Bobby, usually a discussion involves two people talking
to each other in a way that lets one play off of what the other is saying.
"Well what else do you want me to say?" Bobby protested
indignantly. "I'm telling you that you have nice nipples. That I find them …
and, by default, you … attractive!
Darien put the beer bottle down and took a deep breath. As
he ran his hands across his face, he couldn't help but think about what Claire
had said to him earlier regarding he and Bobby's relationship.
"Hobbes …" He started to say, before he even knew what it was he wanted to say.
"Wait a minute, Dare. Let me finish." Bobby said, inhaling deeply before continuing. "I've always pretty much been into chicks, you know. But, I've never been adverse to playing on the other side of the fence every once in a while, you know what I mean?"
Darien didn't dare answer.
"What I'm saying is that while I'm not some kind of
pervert or anything, I am only human, and as such am not impervious to certain
kinds of stimulus." Looking up, he pointed a finger directly at Darien.
Hobbes held up his hands. "Wait a minute, Fawkes. I'm not
through yet." He took another deep breath. "Now.
Darien wanted to kick himself.
Bobby nodded. "Yes."
"Hobbes! I wasn't the one sucking on your nipples!"
"Oh no! You were just the one flashing those babies in my face all the time. It was almost like you were daring me to suck on 'em!"
Darien stood up and began pacing the room. "You are unbelievable!"
"I'm unbelievable?" Hobbes said with chagrin. "You
are some piece of work, Fawkes, you know that?
"What do you mean my behavior?"
"Ha!" Bobby exclaimed. "I guess you couldn't see your role in this could you?" He paused. "Come to think of it you really couldn't see yourself at all – could you?"
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
It means that in the few minutes that went by with us
'pretending' to grope one another in that alley you were getting so caught up
in me sucking on the twins that you began to lose control and started going see
Darien was speechless.
Bobby started nodding as he saw the confusion spread over
his partners features. "See?
Darien's heart fell as he realized that he couldn't. "You were sucking pretty hard there, Pal!" He protested weakly. "I happen to have very sensitive areolas!"
Bobby smirked. "Yeah? Well Those areolas of yours were so sensitive that you were practically trying to ram my head through your chest in an attempt to get me to work those babies over even more."
Darien wanted so desperately to deny it, but realized
suddenly that he couldn't.
Not knowing what to say, he slumped down in his chair, moaning into his hands and feeling about as helpless as a newborn baby.
Things were quiet for a minute, each man lost in his own thoughts. Finally, Hobbes got up from his chair and went to stand in front of his partner.
"So. What are we gonna do about this?" He asked, calmly.
Darien barely heard him. "Did I really go see through?" He asked, miserably, his head still in his hands.
Bobby leaned down slightly until he could look his partner in the face. "Yeah," he said gently. "You did."
Darien peeped through his hands and looked at Bobby then, really looked at him for the first time. As he did, he noticed how close the man was standing to him, the deep, soulful brown of his eyes, the gentle affection evident on his face. Suddenly, he wasn't looking at his short, bald and frequently annoying partner, but at someone else entirely. Someone whom he knew would give his life to protect him, would be there for him when he needed him to be, would do almost anything that he asked. And just like that, he realized that he was no longer looking at the face of just his partner, but at the face of a man he had grown to like, respect, and care for far more deeply than he had ever cared for anyone else before.
For Darien, it was the epiphany of a lifetime.
"So," Darien asked, his voice softening. "You gonna jump my bones now, or what?"
Bobby chuckled. "'Jump your bones,' Fawkes?" he asked with
Darien shook his head. Bobby was good at masking his feelings when on assignment, but not with him. "No," he said. "I don't think that's going to work. I'm thinkin' it would be better if you just jumped my bones."
Bobby looked surprised, but definitely interested. "You do?"
"Yeah. I do."
"Because," Darien began softly, barely believing what he
was about to say.
Bobby grinned slightly, yet he still looked somewhat skeptical. His body, however, was quite obviously all ready for a night of bone jumping. "Are you messing with me here, Fawkes?" he asked.
Darien smiled lasciviously as he glimpsed down at Bobby's bulging crotch before reaching up and grabbing his partner's shirt so that he could pull him down closer. When their faces were barely an inch apart, he let go of the shirt and instead took one of Bobby's hands and placed it underneath his own shirt so that it covered one of his nipples. "Does this feel like I'm messing with you, Hobbes?" he breathed out softly. His mind could hardly accept what he was saying … or doing … but already his body was reacting to the smaller man's touch.
"Shit!" Hobbes gasped out, watching Darien very
Darien leaned in and kissed his friend, gently, on the lips. "Could I be this gentle with you if I were?"
Bobby's breathing increased and he lifted his free hand up to caress Darien's cheek. "No. I guess not," he said, before leaning in and covering his partner's mouth with his own. "You taste so good," he whispered after a while as he pulled Darien even closer.
The action nearly toppled over the chair the taller man was sitting in. So Darien kicked it aside and stood up so that he could use his whole body to maneuver his partner over the short distance to his bed.
Both men happily fell back onto the soft mattress and
immediately began undressing one another.
"Fawkes, you know this could get real emotional for me," he said nervously.
"So," Darien replied, sitting up and nibbling lightly on Bobby's ear.
Bobby shut his eyes with bliss. "All I'm trying to say is that we should really think about this, that's all."
Darien moved back to Bobby's mouth, his hands reaching to
pull the last of Bobby's clothing (his underwear) slowly down his legs.
"Are you sure about this, Fawkes?" Bobby asked weakly one last time, all resolve virtually gone.
"I have never been more sure of anything before in my life!" Darien breathed out as he reached down and took hold of Bobby's engorged penis.
"Oh shit, Fawkes! What are you doing to me?" Bobby whimpered.
Knowing his partner wasn't really looking for an answer,
Darien leaned down quickly and engulfed Bobby's ample dick fully into his
(Much later …)
"Bobby, could you uh … could you get off of me please?"
"Wha? You say something, Fawkes?" Bobby asked groggily.
"Yeah, I did," Darien responded uneasily as he sat up abruptly in the bed and practically shoved Hobbes off of him.
"Hey!" Hobbes protested. "What the hell—"
Darien was up off the bed and more than half way to the
bathroom before Bobby's head cleared up enough for him to realize what was
Relaxing back down on the bed, he smiled contentedly to
Several minutes later, Darien emerged from the bathroom,
still naked, and wiping at his face with a damp towel.
Bobby opened his eyes and smiled broadly.
"Well," Darien began, leaning over the bed and gently pushing his lover over so he could have some room. "Once you move your horny little ass and give me some room to lay back down, I will be."
Hobbes gave his partner the once over, twice over, before
skirting over and patting the bed in invitation.
Darien smiled. "Yeah?
Bobby grew concerned. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Darien assured him.
Bobby looked closely at his partner. "Look, Dare … um … if
I did anything … well, you know, to um … hurt you … you being a virgin and
"Whoa!" Darien exclaimed, cutting his partner off.
Hobbes colored slightly. "Well, you know what I mean.
Darien nodded as he considered his friend's statement.
Startled, Bobby focused closely on Darien, trying to find
even the slightest hint that the other man was teasing him. He found none.
Darien smirked. "Hobbes, I've been actively bi since I was 14 years old!"
Bobby was stunned.
Startled, Darien watched helplessly as Bobby scampered
quickly out of the bed and reached for his clothes. "Hey!
Bobby hardly heard him he was so furious. "Tell me the
"'A mercy fuck?'
"What's wrong?" Hobbes asked with a mirthless laugh. "You
tell me, Fawkes?
After everything that had gone on between them the last
several days, the only reason Darien didn't become hysterical himself was
because he could see that Bobby had already beaten him to it.
Angrily, Bobby turned his back on Darien and pulled on his undershirt.
"Bobby, what are you talking about?" Darien persisted as calmly as he could. "What did you mean by 'mercy fuck?'"
"For days now I've been watching you freakin' out.
"Well, yeah, I mean even you have to admit that you and me together might not be the best idea in the world, all things considered," Darien argued.
Having finished with his shoes, Bobby stood up and looked at him, shaking his head with hurt and disgust.
Darien couldn't think of another time when he had seen the
man look so sad.
Hobbes almost lost it.
Darien just stared helplessly at him.
"Look, Fawkes, I know I'm not the most attractive
Hobbes wasn't the only one misty-eyed at that point.
Sniffing slightly, Darien slowly approached Bobby and gently cupped his face in
his hands. "Aw, Bobby, you got this all wrong, man!
Hobbes began to relax a little as Darien continued on.
"Bobby, my life's been a virtual nightmare ever since I
let Kevin put this fuckin' gland into my head. Being dependent on the
counteragent … being forced to work for the Agency … having practically no
personal life … all of it's been really hard.
"So this wasn't just a mercy fuck then?" Bobby inquired with uncertainty into Darien's shoulder. He could feel the taller man's body move as he let out a loud sigh.
"No fucking way, man!
"You're kidding me, right?" Bobby asked, leaning his head
back so he could get a better look at his partner.
Darien smiled humbly at Hobbes, his eyes reflecting so much
emotion and warmth that Bobby thought he was going to end up with sunburn or
Bobby laughed lightly.
Darien leaned over and kissed the top of Bobby's head.
"That's only because they didn't know how to love Bobby Hobbes, that's all.
Bobby Hobbes is the kind of guy you've got to love with your heart, not your
head. Cause Bobby Hobbes is not the kind of guy to be taken at face value.
Bobby blushed against his lover's lean chest.
"You like that?" Bobby asked, now nibbling gently on the small dark peak of flesh.
Even with the barrier of clothing between them, Bobby
could feel his partner's cock beginning to swell.
Darien laughed as he began eagerly tugging at his friend's
"You'll find out soon enough, my friend. Soon
Darien smiled lecherously as he physically guided Bobby
back to the bed and shoved him, back first, down on it.
"And what's that?"
"Well," Darien began as he relieved Bobby of his underwear
and started a slow crawl up the length of the smaller man's sprawled out
"Whoo hoo!" Bobby hooted happily. "That's my I-Man!"
Leaning down, Darien caught Bobby's mouth in a soulful
"I've got to tell you, man," Bobby gasped out, lifting his
head up slightly to take a breath.
Darien paused briefly as he leaned down and kissed his lover gently. "You noticed that too, huh?" he asked softly, right before losing control and suddenly going invisible.
Bobby didn't reply, he just leaned his head back up and
captured his invisible lover's mouth in another, longer, deeper kiss.
"I love you too, Bobby," Darien replied breathlessly,
seemingly from out of no where.
Bobby was more than happy to oblige.