A/N: AUTHOR ON CRACK. THIS IS A DRABBLE.

Warnings: OCCness and uh…if I say the others, you'd know what happens.

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY.

If I'm Not in Love with You

I'm not in love with you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why when you hugged me, I felt loved. That's why when you wrapped your arms around my neck in joyful glory as I won against Daikoku in my first match, I felt support. That's why I felt the warmth of your perfectly shaped body.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love you, that's why I didn't even squint when I saw you half naked in front of me during your fight with Fujimaru. That's why I looked away and respected you.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why I didn't say thank you when you covered my eyes during Recca's battle when he summoned Setsuna. That's why I cared the whole heck about your safety then.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why I grew furious when Raiha came prancing in school, holding a bouquet of flowers, for you. That's why my heart felt a painful clench of jealousy then.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why I talk to you, that's why I smile for you and your antics. That's why I laughed for the first time my sister died as you told that absolutely cheesy joke. That's why above all girls I tell you what happens in my life, what I do, what I eat, where I go, what my admirers give me.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why when he approached you, and asked you to be his girlfriend, my heart simply crashed into tiny, irreparable pieces. That's why I drunk myself to death. That's why I forgot my studies.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why when you came to me, your face strewn with tears because of him, I opened my arms and let you in. That's why when you reached out, opened your heart, I listened, I relented. That's why when you told me you're pregnant of his son, I understood you. That's why I promised to protect you.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why you came back to him I let you go and roam free. That's why I widened the wings of my heart to accommodate you, your feelings, and consider your sufferings.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why I think of you, everytime, every second everyday. That's why I wish the best for you, that's why I longed to hear you say you loved me. That's why I want you like I do.

That's why when you stood in your wedding, I came and never said a thing.

Because I don't love you.

I'm not in love with you, that's why when he didn't appear in your church wedding, I stood by you and hugged you, that's why I told everyone I'll marry you, to save you from humiliation and judging eyes.

Because I don't love you.

And now you tell me I don't love you, it hurts like nothing else hurt before. And now that you lie unconscious, in my arms, you face pale and your blood not flowing through your veins because of the whole bottle of depressants you gulped down, I ask you.

If I'm not in love with you, what is this I'm feeling? If this is not love, someone has to tell me what love is.

END

A/N: Dunno what has gotten into me these days. Contradicting, confusing, redundant and all. Well, phrase redundancy is present in the wonderful world of whipped sarcasm of this fic.

Anyway, please R and R. This is inspired by the song If I'm Not In Love With You by Faith Hill, Chasing Liberty OST.