The first time you ever kiss Sam its an accident and while it is by definition a kiss you doubt anyone but you would consider it as such if only because it was a painful mishap more than anything else that leaves you with a cut on your lip and Sam with a bruise on her mouth.
But for a whole week after you lick at the cut despite the sting and think about Sam's mouth on yours and ignore the fact that it happened when you were standing behind her at the breakfast bar, reading the iCarly message boards over her shoulder on the computer and when she turned her head to tell you something and you dipped your head to get a better look both moves culminated in a face to face collision that ended in blood but in your opinion was totally worth it.
You count it because there's lip to lip contact and it's Sam so you'll take what you can get.
You'll take what you can get because you like Sam, you do, in the same breathless blushing way you use to like Jake Crandall before his singing turned you completely off.
It's like that except more.
And even though you're 14 you're not naïve about what liking another girl means, after all your aunt Sissy is a lesbian and despite being in the military your parents are surprisingly liberal and you get it. You do. But you still like her a lot but the difficult part is you doubt Sam knows because your Carly and you're nice and polite and boys like you and Sam, despite all of her excellent qualities, isn't the most observant person. You like her anyway.
The second time you kiss Sam she's crying and you're crying and there are purple bruises on her wrist and upper arms that you can't stop staring at through your tears as she tells you about the fight she and her mom had in a soft broken voice.
You're both tucked into the couch and your arms are wrapped around Sam's smaller frame and nobody knows about this part of Sam, about what she sometimes goes through, not even Freddy. It's the reason why Sam spends so much time at your house and one of the reason why you're so protective of her.
She shakes softly against you and when you lean in and press your lips against the wet tracks her tears leave its nothing like the millions of times you've imagined kissing her. Her skin is slick and salty and she doesn't say anything , just tilts her head into your lips and cries a little bit harder.
The third time you kiss Sam it's in your room.
"Sam, you still up?" You ask as walk into your bedroom fresh from the shower dragging a towel over your wet hair.
"You do know who you're talking to right?" Sam asks as you drop the towel on your desk chair acknowledging the fact that Sam is a night owl, making up for lost sleep in class the next day.
She's sitting cross-legged on the foot of your bed in her pajamas with a bowl of popcorn in her lap, which isn't all that odd considering all of the time Sam spends at your house. No, the odd thing is that Sam is wearing your pink bra, the one with little blue hearts, on the outside of her grey pajama tank top.
"What're you doing?" You squeak indignantly and Sam gives you that lazy gaze like she's not wearing your bra and gestures at the television.
"Tuesday Night Movie Madness." She says like you should already know and you do but she knows very well that's not what you're talking about.
"No, What're you wearing?!" You bark looking pointedly at the bra she's wearing ridiculously on the outside of her pajamas.
"Oh, this old thing?" She asks glancing down at her chest before shrugging. "I found it under your bed. You should really clean up under there because I think I saw something growing." Sam grins and you take a menacing step towards the bed but Sam doesn't flinch, just pops another piece of popcorn into her mouth.
"Take it off, Sam." You growl and Sam shakes her head.
"Hi, I'm Carly Shay…" Sam begins in a absurdly high pitched voice that sounds nothing like you.
"That sounds nothing like me!" You cry and Sam just laughs and you're pretty sure she never sees you coming before you tackle her backwards on the bed.
You grin at the way Sam squeals and popcorn flies all around you and for a moment you two wrestle around on the bed until you have Sam's hands pinned over her head and you're stretched out over her form.
Beneath you Sam is panting and giggly with pink cheeks and her blonde hair spread out under her and you laugh breathlessly as you stare.
"Take it off." You laugh and the way Sam sort of squirms under you makes your insides twist in a way that's weird. Not bad, just strange.
"Why? By the way your boobs are way bigger than mine. With this thing I'll catch all the fellas." Sam laughs and you shake your head.
"You don't need my bra to get a guys attention." You say somewhat sincerely and Sam twists under you again in an attempt to get free and you shift your weight forward over her wrists.
"It can't hurt." Sam grunts lifting her hips and you're not expecting the way the movement makes your breath catch.
And you've gone through the whole sex ed classes and the extremely uncomfortable talk about the birds and the bees with Spencer which ended with him throwing up and in tears and you've done your own research and you know what that throbbing feeling between your legs is but you ignore it and shift your weight over Sam.
"Take it off." You request again and Sam just laughs, jerking against your hold and snapping her teeth playfully at your nose and you rear back slightly with a cry.
"Hey, no biting!" You shout over Sam's laughter.
"I have to do something! I can't let you just kick my butt like this. I've got a reputation to uphold." Sam smiles and you lean down to press your forehead to hers and watch as her grey eyes jump back and forth between your eyes, nose and mouth.
"Your eyes are like a mood ring." You whisper because they are, they way they change from blue to grey to green seemingly at will and you laugh softly as Sam crosses her eyes playfully before turning her head slightly left and then right and she laughs when you move with her making sure your foreheads stay in contact.
"You know what? You're eyes are like the bottom of a Hershey Kiss." Sam whispers and its not the most romantic or even flattering thing you've ever heard but it's Sam and she's saying it to you and before you can really stop yourself you're leaning down and kissing her. On the mouth.
And its nothing like the time you and Donnie Hutchinson kissed behind the school because Sam's lips aren't dry and sharp and her nose isn't huge and in the way and when your tongue touches hers the feeling shoots straight through you and Sam's mouth doesn't taste like a grilled cheese sandwich at all.
The kiss ends abruptly when Spencer yells 'Fire!' somewhere in the living room and you jump back quickly and fall promptly over the foot of the bed with a thud that sounds as painful as it should.
Sam leans over the bed in open mouth shocked and for a moment you and Sam just stare at one another until Spencer bursts into the room.
"There's a fire!" He screams right before he grabs Sam, hefting her over his shoulder, then grabs you like he's carrying a watermelon under his arm and all together you flee the apartment.
The first time Sam ever kisses you its in the handicapped stall of the 2nd floor girls bathroom which wouldn't be a problem except you guys are in the bathroom. At school. And even though you're in a stall anyone could walk in and catch you. And you should be voicing these concerns but its kinda difficult with Sam's hands on your neck and her tongue twisting in your mouth in a way that makes it hard to breathe. It makes you not want to breathe. But you do.
"Sam." You gasp softly pressing your hands to her cheeks as you pull back slightly and you watch her lick her lips and squeeze her eyes shut. "Sam." You whisper again because you guys haven't talked about the kiss in your room and you were under the impression that it was one of those things you'd never talk about again guessing from the way you and she can hardly be in the same room together. But she's kissing you here and now of all times and places and you need to know why.
"Why did you…?" Your question trails off aimlessly and you watch her take a slow shuddering breath before she speaks.
"Did Jake Crandall ask you out after third period?" She asks and her voice is tight like you've never heard it but you nod anyway because it's true, he did ask you out two hours ago in front of your locker. You'd told him you'd think about it so you wouldn't have to reject him in front of the crowd of people that gathered around you two. Besides you're so over the Jake Crandall thing
You wonder for a moment who told her and then it hits you that Freddie probably unknowingly told Sam in a jealous rage and here you are.
"I like you, okay." Sam whispers and this time her eyes are wide open when she speaks and you nod dumbly because Sam just said she liked you and its almost surreal. "Okay? So don't go out with him, alright?" And you nod again as she steps away in the small space.
You've never really been speechless before but right now you can't seem to find any words at all as you watch her adjust her backpack nervously before turning and reaching for the sliding lock on the stall door and disappearing .
During 5th period you tell Jake that you can't go out with him because you have to wash your hair.
The first time you ever think about Sam and sex together it feels like it comes out of the blue.
And its not like you don't think about Sam, think about kissing her and touching her but you've never really imagined specific things like touching her breast or sucking on the skin on the underside of her jaw or shoving your hand down her board shorts and touching her there but it seems to crash into you suddenly as you watch her eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while you, her and Freddie watch Cuddlefish perform on Seattle Beat.
You're sitting tucked into the corner of the couch with Sam sprawled across the rest of the sofa, her feet kicked up into your lap so that you guys make a kind of right angle while Freddie sits on the floor in front of the couch and this in itself isn't distracting.
The distracting part is the way that Sam's shirt is riding up leaving a strip of pale white skin between the hem of her shirt and the top of her shorts and it shouldn't be so distracting but it is. You want to touch her there and your fingers flex where they rest on her ankles but you don't touch.
"Cuddlefish is awesome." You hear Sam sigh and you tear your eyes away from the flat of her belly to look back at the screen.
"Yeah." Freddie agrees from the floor and you can't help but grin.
"Oh my god, it's a miracle. I can't believe you two just agreed on something." You laugh and you laugh a little bit harder at the totally offended sound Freddie makes.
"Well, then we can all agree that Freddie is a giant nerd bomb." Sam throws the insult lazily around a mouthful of sandwich and Freddie twists around angrily.
"And we can agree that Sam is a lazy slacker who will probably amount to nothing in life." Freddie hisses and Sam just shrugs.
"Alright." Sam grunts finishing her sandwich and Freddie just shakes his head and pushes himself off of the floor. He stretches and Sam whispers 'ew' when his stripped shirt rises and shows off his stomach.
"On that note. I gotta go study for my math test because if I don't pass my mom threatened to sign us up for couples swing dancing lessons." Freddie sighs and you wince because Freddie's mom is well…Freddie's mom.
"I'll see you guys later."
"Bye." You wave watching Freddie leave, the door shutting behind him before you turn back to Sam.
"Hey." You smile and it comes out a little more lascivious than you intend but Sam just grins back and digs the heel of her socked foot into your thigh.
"What's up Cupcake?" Sam asks and you two haven't talked about what happened in the school bathroom a week ago but she kissed you two days ago in the studio and its confusing.
Almost as confusing as the way your eyes keep falling on the fly of her pants.
"Nothing." you whisper but you're thoughts must be showing on your face because she gestures for you to come closer and the way you sort of clamber on top of her is not very lady like but with Sam you don't have to think about it.
Sam is half sitting up but mostly laying and you situate yourself between her legs and swallow at the way your body reacts.
"What're you thinking about Carly Shay?" She asks tapping your head lightly with a grin and you laugh.
"Stop that." You laugh shaking your head and beneath you Sam sort of turns away to look at the television again so your staring at the line of her jaw and her ear.
Later you're sure you won't even remember what possesses you to do it but you lean down and press your mouth to Sam's ear and its meant to be playful, it is, but your not expecting the chocked off sound Sam makes and the way she sort of bucks up against your weight when you suck on the lobe of her ear.
Sam's hands clutch at the small of your back and you do it again a lot less playful this time. Your teeth find the shell of her ear and the way she twists against and gasps makes your entire body throb.
"What're you doing." Sam hisses quietly turning her face towards you and you shrug slightly.
"I dunno. Did it hurt?" You ask and Sam shakes her head and you can't help but notice how hard she's breathing beneath you. You can't help but touch the now reddened rim of her ear proudly.
"No, not really." Sam whispers and you kind of grin and kiss her. And you and Sam have never really 'made out' like on television and the movies and you're ten minutes into slipping your tongue past Sam's teeth before you realize that is what you guys are doing. You're making out with Sam.
Sam's breathing is soft and shallow and she kisses a little clumsy in a way that makes you press your fingertips to her jaw in support and it's all heady and addictive.
You're not expecting Sam's hands on the bare skin of your back and you jump a little at the contact and she immediately stops.
"It's okay." You murmur pulling away a little and Sam licks her lips with a nod but doesn't put her hands back under your shirt. "It's okay." you sigh again and this time you press your lips to her throat and feel Sam smile, a tentative hand coming up to tangle in your hair.
"What're you doing?" Sam whispers and you make a noncommittal noise in your throat right before you decide to paint a hickey on the curve of Sam's jaw. You use your teeth and suck hard at the soft skin and beneath you Sam whimpers softly and sort of rocks her hips into yours and its so hot you can't focus.
"Geez." Sam breathes quietly and when you finally pull away you examine the purpling mark proudly.
"Well would ya look at that." You raise your eyebrows smugly but your expression falters at the look on Sam's face. Its foreign and intense and before you can say anything there's a rattle of Spencer's key in the door even though the door isn't locked and you and Sam jump apart quickly, Sam's hand flying to the mark on her neck.
"Sam! Carly! Look!" Spencer cries bursting into the apartment and it takes you a moment to realize he's talking about the shopping bag in his arms that looks like its full of…
"Are those super balls?" You ask squeezing your thighs together absently against the throbbing low in your stomach.
"Yes, Carly. Yes they are."
The first time you and Sam ever do more than just kiss it starts with homework. More specifically you not being done with yours while Sam, who isn't quite the slacker she'd like everyone to believe she is, is in fact finished and is currently tossing paper balls at you from where she is sprawled hanging upside down on the bed.
"Ow." you breathe frowning at your math as another paper ball bounces off the side of your head and lands beside the twelve others by you where you sit cross legged on the floor.
"Carly, c'mon! This is boring. Let's go to the Groovy Smoothie. I'll let you buy me a smoothie." Sam sing songs and when you glare at her she gives you an upside down grin.
"No Sam, I've gotta finish this." And before you even complete the sentence your hit in the neck with another piece of paper.
"Why don't you go get smoothies with Freddie?" You suggest and you don't even look up when Sam groans dramatically. "Or you can wait patiently until I finish this work."
"Fine!" Sam cries and for a few minutes there's silence and no more flying projectiles. You're not sure how long you frown down at your text book but when you finally finish, shutting your book, Sam is watching quietly.
"What?" You ask self consciously and Sam just gives you one more look over and shrugs.
"Nothing." She says folding her arms under her head and you stare back at her for a second which is a little weird because she's still hanging upside down.
"If you keep hanging like that all the blood is gonna rush to your head." You inform as you stand, walking around the bed to grab Sam's ankles and yank her flat on the bed before laying down on your back beside her.
"And that would be bad?" Sam yawns and you close your eyes and smile.
"Yeah, that would be bad." You whisper and you don't open your eyes when you hear Sam move, the mattress giving with her weight and you feel her shift closer right before her lips press against your jaw.
"I thought you wanted to go to Groovy Smoothie." You mumble but you completely loose your train of thought because Sam leans over you and kisses you full on the mouth and spreads her hand against the flat of your stomach.
Her touch is hot even through your tee shirt and you're kissing her back eagerly, pushing her onto her back before stretching out on top of her.
"You always have to be on top?" Sam asks against your lips and you smile pulling back to sit on your knees.
"I like it up here." You laugh and it's true while you don't mind Sam being on you you would much rather be the one pinning her under you.
Sam just laughs as you grab her shins and sort of use them to hike her legs up around her waist.
"I should've known you're a power monger." Sam grins brushing her bangs out of her eyes and for a second you just look at her, at your best friend, at Sam.
"What? Do I have something in my teeth? An eye booger?" She asks in that charming way that only belongs to Sam and you're shaking your head when you kiss her again.
You're not expecting her to flip you over onto her back and so when she does you squeak as your back hit's the mattress and she straddles your waist triumphantly.
"You're sneaky." You whisper and Sam just shrugs and toys with the hem of your shirt.
"It's one of my best qualities."
"Agreed" you laugh but it comes out weak and breathless because Sam's hands are on your stomach again but this time they're slipping up under your layered tank tops.
Sam kisses you again slow and careful and you can't focus because her right hand is curling around your breast and when her fingertips nudge under the edge of your bra you stop kissing all together and squeeze your eyes closed.
"You're soft." Sam whispers quietly and you nod breathlessly as you feel your nipple tighten against her palm. And Sam's nervous touch feels good, it makes your stomach tighten and when she brushes a thumb over your nipple it makes your back arch away from the bed and having Sam touch you is nothing like touching yourself.
You lean up to kiss her again and but Sam pulls away with a grin and a giggle and leaves you completely bereft.
"Sam, what?!" You gasp dumbly, propping yourself up on your elbows as Sam quickly pulls on her sneakers, not bothering to even loosen the laces.
"C'mon Cupcake." Sam smiles, raising her eyebrows and you don't mean to seem so…dumbfounded but your staring at her at disbelief and your jaw in your lap.
"But we…you…where are we going?" You manage to spit out as you straighten your shirt and bra.
"Groovy smoothie, duh." Sam laughs dragging the back of her hand over her lips quickly. "You know for a kid with straight A's you're not that smart."
"But, Sam." You begin pleading and trying to focus past the throbbing between your thighs.
"C'mon, Carly, I'm gonna go get Freddie." She says and then she's opening your bedroom door and bouncing out.
You watch her go, running a hand through your dark hair and you can't help but think that for all of Sam's awesome attributes her hyperactivity and her love of food is sort of a problem sometimes.
The first time you ever tell Spencer about you and Sam it's an accident and you don't really tell him that Sam is the person you're talking about when he asks about your new "crush" but you don't lie either.
"So do I know who it is?" Spencer asks and you lick your lips and watch him pour way too much salt into the pasta sauce he's cooking.
"Yes, you do." You say calmly and swing your legs idly as you sit on the counter top rolling a tomato between your hands.
"Oh yeah…wait its not Freddie is it?" Spencer asks suspiciously and you shake your head with a smile.
"No it's not Freddie."
"Well, whoever it is it seems like you like them a lot since you're hiding them from me…Is it David Irons on the 12th floor?" Spencer asks before he tastes his sauce from the wooden spoon he uses to stir it with and promptly spits it out.
"No, hot…and salty." Spencer sputters wiping at his mouth.
"I do and , no its not that crater face David Irons." You say tasting the sauce and wincing .
"Well whoever it is, I'll like them 'cause you like them. You know that right, Carls?" Spencer asks and you really do love your brother.