Before Yachiru came along, all Kenpachi knew was crimson, the colour of blood. Now he wakes up to a head full of pink every morning when he's lucky (and a dive-bomb into his stomach when he's not).
As captain of his division, Kenpachi is supposed to separate shinigami who get into fights. Sometimes, though, he can't help but sit back and watch limbs fly.
"Look, Ken-chan! It's a pretty birdy!"
"Yachiru, that pretty birdy just pooped in my eye."
Yachiru has been bathed in blood long before most other shinigami, but somehow she retains her childish innocence. (There is no angst-ridden emo teenager here.)
One day, after having her hair dyed blue (it's a more beautiful colour, apparently), Yachiru decides to introduce Yumichika to what's called a rat tail. The poor shinigami's cries are so pain-filled that even the most seasoned of the 11th division cringes, noting never to annoy the pink-haired assistant captain.
It takes him a while, but Kenpachi eventually grows accustomed to the tiny girl who totters along beside him. After a few weeks, he stops looking at her with suspicious eyes.
" – AND YOU TOOK MY DUCKY AND YOU DYED IT ORANGE AND THEN YOU PUT IT THROUGH THE SHREDDER AND THEN YOU GAVE IT TO KUROTSUCHI-TAICHOU FOR TESTING AND THEN YOU – "
"WHAT IS IT, IKKAKU?!"
"I didn't touch your ducky. It was Yumichika's idea."
It takes a while for Yumichika's hair to recover from Shiba Ganju's attack; when his meticulously arranged wig falls apart for no apparent reason, the first thing he sees is Yachiru's snickering face. But who can blame her? Even Kenpachi's lips are twitching.
"Hey, hey, Ken-chan, what is this?"
"Yachiru, leave Kurotsuchi's computer alone. He doesn't need smilies on his data files."
"Would you like some more tea, Ken-chan?"
Kenpachi groans and wonders how he got roped into a lacy dress as Yachiru "helps" a stuffed rabbit splash liquid into his already full cup.
"Mou, Ken-chan, how come your handwriting is so pretty? It looks like Unohana-taichou's writing!"
"…Be quiet, Yachiru."
"Ooh, Ken-chan! It's so pretty! Look at all of the crystals! And it sparkles!"
Kenpachi shakes his head at her naiveté. "It's just a chandelier, Yachiru."
There are no windows where 11th division stays; all they're good for is stopping people who smash into them during brawls.
"Dear lord," Kenpachi moans, watching the pink whirlwind wreak havoc upon the rest of the shinigami. "How much sugar did she have?"
Locked in his room, Byakuya wonders where his secret stash of chocolate has gone. His mattress is completely empty.
"And I – what the hell did you just stab me with?!" Ikkaku sputters indignantly.
Yachiru grins toothily, holding up the spoon and fork which she has somehow managed to smoosh together into one strange contraption.
"Ken-chan, get out of the shower."
"I happen to like singing, Yachiru, and I don't think my voice sounds all that bad."
"Yeah, but you're using up all of the hot water."
Pulling the pink-haired menace off of his head at last, Ikkaku threatens to leave her on the side of the road like an abandoned puppy. She promptly demonstrates that even puppies have teeth.
"Get off my heeeeeeead!!"
"No, Yumichika, I will not go and proclaim my adoration for the captain. I'd sound like those two from 13th division. You go do it."
"But you have a nicer voice than I do…"
"No. If you want to kiss up to the captain, then do it. Just leave me out of it."
Sometimes Kenpachi wishes he had a net big enough to capture his whole division at once; it's so troublesome to shout at them (never mind that most of them are deathly afraid of him).
The ball leaves Yachiru's hands, bounces off the side of the building, and hits Ikkaku in the face.
Kenpachi watches Yachiru's tiny hands, coated in blood, leave shining crimson marks on his legs.
"Wow, Ken-chan! I didn't know you could weave! Are you sure you're not like Unohana-taichou?"
"Yachiru, let go of my head! I can't see out of one of my eyes!"
"How is that different from wearing your eyepatch?"
Kenpachi stares, entranced, at the tiny flame which is so delicate, wavering with each breath he exhales, but which can cause so much destruction when placed against flammable material.
Ikkaku has a sword, and he is willing to use it on anyone who calls him bald.
When fighting with Ikkaku, Yachiru often smiles sweetly and mouths the word "Bald".
"Eeeeeeew… Ken-chan left his socks in my bed again."
"Hey, Ken-chan, skunk-chan wants to meet you!"
"Yachiru, don't you dare – !"
She does it anyway.
"Yachiru, be quiet, please."
"WHAT'S THAT, KEN-CHAN? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
Kenpachi knows Yachiru is sick when she blinks sleepily and asks to take a nap.
"Open wide, Ken-chan!" She giggles. "Oops, Ken-chan's face is purple!"
Kenpachi's eyes widen in horror when Yachiru pretends to marry two of her stuffed animals.
"Oh, no. She's entering that phase," he mutters to himself.
"You have no hair, Ikkaku; therefore, I have the most beautiful hair in 11th division!"
"…At least my head doesn't look like a storm cloud."
Yumichika cries in his little corner for three days.
Yachiru's eyes sparkle. "I want to pretend I'm a princess, Ken-chan!"
Ikkaku doesn't like playing "Let's bite Ikkaku's head because it's shiny". Yachiru's teeth are sharp, man.
Whenever Kenpachi comes to an abrupt stop, Yachiru's nose bumps against his back.
Yachiru smiles, comforted, whenever Kenpachi's reiatsu surrounds her.
Yachiru squirms as the needle nears her ear. Suddenly, getting her ears pierced doesn't seem like such a good idea.
"SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR – "
Kenpachi slaps his forehead. "Here we go again."
Byakuya frowns. "That's the second time this week…"
When Kenpachi stops moving after his fight with Ichigo, Yachiru is worried for the first time in her life.
"Yachiru, don't chew with your mouth open."
Animalistic sounds tear out from Kenpachi's throat when he fights; afterwards, Yachiru is tempted to try and pet him to see if he purrs.
Compared to her tiny figure, Kenpachi is a giant.
Mushing pieces of food and flicking them at Ikkaku's head is fun.
None of the shinigami read the human newspaper; why would it interest them?
"Say 'aaah', Ken-chan!"
The unfortunate patient opens his mouth obediently and wonders what he has done to deserve this torture. Oh, that's right. He killed quite a few people. But surely no one deserves this kind of pain…
"Ken-chan, I'm going to DIEEE!"
"Yachiru, you're already dead."
Ikkaku gulps nervously as Byakuya ignorantly gives Yachiru some of his precious chocolate.
When Yachiru is out sick, Kenpachi even goes so far as to offer to carry Ikkaku on his back. Needless to say, both are immensely relieved when Yachiru recovers.
"I can do it, Yachiru."
"Of course you can, Ken-chan!" And Yachiru takes the brush from him anyways and finishes tying up his hair.
- - -
For MidnightStar24's birthday present. She asked for 11th division drabbles (and honestly, I can't write Bleach stuff. Argh). Happy birthday, Emilky.