The radiant sun shone brightly over the village of Konoha, to anyone, the day was the same as the one before. However, the truth couldn't be further from reality. In fact, to the observant ones, there was something missing from the daily streets of the market area, where people always filled them.
The shinobi population seemed to have diminished noticeably. More specifically, the higher-ups of the military population from the village had completely vanished overnight. Many were sent on confused rounds of assumption, specially the one Nara Shikamaru, but he couldn't come up with a credible solution.
The most important construction to the Konoha shinobi, the Hokage Tower, held the position of power and where the main two characters of the greatest victory and defeat of Konoha were standing. Victory and defeat, all at the same time, in the same day.
"Would you two please explain to me how you could leave: Jiraiya, the whole Akatsuki except that woman, and seventy percent of the active shinobi, without any possible chance of uttering a single coherent thought and in Konoha's mental institute?" Tsunade was clearly pissed as hell. To newcomers, they would later tell stories of the devil woman that commandeered Konoha and how her eyes would blaze sparks when her anger was peaked. On the other hand, the ones who knew her could effortlessly distinguish between her real anger and a faked one. This one was clearly one more becoming of hell, rather than the buxom blonde.
In front of her with equally triumphant and sheepish smiles at their deeds, stood two people from the group that held the biggest potential in fighting power. The Jinchuuriki.
One, with a Konoha hitai-ate clad in black and orange clothes, wore his smile with more embarrassment than achievement. Of course, it was a common occurrence of Uzumaki Naruto to make this kind of actions, mainly due to his upbringing and his constant pranks, his most grandiose one being the doodling of the Hokage Mountain. Scratching the back of his head, he shared a pointed look with his partner in crime.
The other wore one that twenty years ago would have had her hanged on sight within Konoha, a forehead protector from Kumogakure. Her garments were mainly black with white cuirass-type armour around her abdomen and a red sash around her slender waist. Her arms were covered in bandages and on her left, praying beads, which she was fumbling nervously with at the moment, snaked all the way from her wrist to her elbow.
"Er…" Naruto locked up his mind. Of course, the way they had dispatched so many people was quite simple and he wondered how it had succeeded so much regarding the original idea. However, it was most embarrassing to discuss with other people except the sun-kissed Jinchuuriki at his side.
Said pony-tailed girl opened her mouth to explain dutifully, as she had a certain oath of correspondence to the positions of power. Instead of spouting coherent words, a grumble escaped her covered mouth. In a rush, the urchin-haired boy had shushed her in fear that she would say something that they would lament later on.
"Yugito-chan, don't…" Naruto warned and slowly removed his appendage from her face under her burning glare. Did he think so lowly of her? Of course she wouldn't publicise the "battle" they had emerged victorious of.
Sighing, he gave Tsunade a heavily edited version of the last day. It was common knowledge that the two Jinchuuriki had met a long while ago, occassionally meeting, and were set on a joint mission to augment the relationships between the two villages when this happening occurred.
How that deviated into the final encounter against Akatsuki, which strangely, decided to go all out and went with all of its members, was the mystery that eluded the Hokage. This time she didn't have the library of events from among the world called Jiraiya. From the half-defeated Deidara to the mysterious Tobi, now known to be one Uchiha Madara, all of them had been completely mind-raped in such a way that left both active Yamanakas envious of the mental proficiency the job needed.
That or it had to be something so horrible and nauseating that ten S-Class Shinobi landed in the mental ward with no possibility of going back to normal.
Tsunade was more pushed to accept the second thing, but for some reason she wanted to take the first option and not know what really had happened. But, formalities as well as law demanded that she know what elapsed. "Well? Are any of you two going to really spill it?" She fumed scowling at the silently bickering pair, clearly seeing through Naruto's play. She could have sworn they looked like a married couple…
At Naruto's sudden lack of initiative for talking, Yugito took the lead. "Hokage-sama." She began addressing the older blonde. "Naruto-kun and I planned this six months ago during one of our meetings. At first, it seemed too farfetched and he landed in Kumo's hospital. But after he presented solid proof of what he was saying, I was pushed to accept."
"What are you talking about, Nii-san?" This caused two chained events. Naruto's sniggering at the implied joke and his immediate silence by a deathly glare from the other Jinchuuriki. Tsunade sighed at this, making a quick mental note that she got him whipped, something that not many women were able to do. In fact, last time she checked, it had only been Sakura and herself.
"What I meant…" She continued, her gaze lingering on Naruto for a second more before warming up and the tips of her lips rose just a bit. "Was that he firmly stated that at least ninety percent of the male population is a pervert." Tsunade grinned from ear to ear effortlessly at hearing this. "Fact is, he was right." She said, not ashamed at all with admitting Naruto was right.
Diminishing her grin just a bit to make it look almost normal, she continued her inquiries. "But that doesn't explain anything."
"Well…" Naruto took over now and scratched the back of his neck embarrasedly. "Let's just say that we got advantage of that and by using ourselves as bait, the Akatsuki was bound to come. Two Jinchuuriki together was a chance they wouldn't miss." He paused to give a melodramatic grin. "After telling her my plan, and suffering her wrath, I proved to her what I was saying was true. So she accepted and we began training in earnest."
The two teen sun kissed had the dignity to blush bright red at this while looking at the floor.
"And what did this "training" consist of?" Tsunade said raising a brow at their abnormal behaviour. Her previous smile having vanished seconds ago.
"Er…Well…" "Um…" Both stammered in perfect imitations of the elder Hyuuga scion.
"Anyway!" Naruto exclaimed changing the focus of the conversation. "After we finished our training with more success than expected, we only needed to practice one technique in order to finish our plans. So, we trained on how to use Henge no Jutsu without hand-seals. That was a crucial part of the plan to make it believable, as well as tampering bit with our seals."
"I still don't understand how Henge could have raped their minds to that point." Tsunade admitted confusedly.
"We're getting to it." Yugito said strangely smiling and grabbed Naruto's closest arm to her. She couldn't have been more obvious to the implications of that little act and the internal explanation it had.
Tsunade immediately caught on the basic idea, but still was dubious. Did these two really do it?
"Once we finally ended, we just needed to set up the best position to put our plan in action." Naruto finished grinning, not minding at all the clinging blonde. "So, we set everything up and after some… How long was it?" He asked turning his head slightly towards Yugito.
"I don't know. I lost track of time after the first ten hours."
"Right… I forgot that all of us are stamina freaks…" He said absentmindedly, warning bells rang all over Tsunade's brain, still stubbornly negating the truth lurking in the shadows. "Let's just say that easily more than fifteen hours had passed… and after the whole audience was set, even those ANBU and Jounin idiots as unwanted extras, we put into action the last part of our plan and we Henged into two known people throughout the world. The effect was immediate."
Somehow, as they explained the events and the sudden grabbing of Naruto's arm, courtesy of Nii Yugito, the pieces began to form the bigger picture and she didn't like where this was leading. Mainly because the mental images that would cause might rob her of her sleep for at least two months. The truth was showing its horrendous face.
"Luckily, we manage to survive with our sanity intact by tormenting our Bijuu with a quick modification of the seals. Every time our mind decides to try to remember what we did, instead it gets sent to the Bijuu's mind."
"We're so evil." The girl grinned deviously to the childish statement and scooting much closer to the slightly taller male Jinchuuriki.
"But who did you transform into?" Oh, kami. Please, not them. She valued her resting time more than even perhaps the youngest Nara.
Naruto copied Yugito's wicked smirk when he heard the Kyuubi's anguished screams and desperate scratching of claws against the cell's bars, since this whole thing made the urchin-haired teen try to recall what happened. When the screaming ended a second later, pitiful whimpers could be heard throughout Naruto's mind.
"One Maito Gai and one Rock Lee hugging tightly..." Naruto stated with as much evilness as his voice could muster.
Tsunade blinked. That wasn't so bad, they do it all the time.
However, Yugito finished the phrase.
Tsunade's screaming reached all over the continent.
Mind you, I don't hate the spandex freaks at all or Nibi and Kyuubi, in fact, another author from here and me think that Kyuubi is UBER, I took it up a notch by adding Nibi being UBER. It's just that this story had been bugging me for a while now. And since it was a one-shot, I decided to make it spring to life. The plan was something that had ME cringing at the outcome. Even now I shudder sometimes... This came up to mind when I was thinking of ways to defeat Akatsuki easily and trying to make a quick crackfic. It all summed up, even the pairing.
Yes, Yugito. Got a problem with that? Sorry, you already read the story if you're reading this and have no choice at backing out now. Lately, I've been developing insane amounts of liking towards NaruxYugi pairings, so I placed my grains of sand to make the small beach grow.
Don't ask for continuations. This won't have any. So please abstain from putting this in the "Story Alert" section. It WILL be useless. Although, you CAN leave a comment, you know. Clicking on that little light blue button and typing something hasn't hurt anyone yet...