17 things Edward Cullen would never say

"Alice, my room needs a makeover. I want everything to sparkle, and everything has to be pink and white. There has to be pictures of ponies and rainbows everywhere. There needs to be butterflies hanging from the ceiling, and I need a canopy bed, and- you're writing all this down, right?"

" IDK, my BFF, Jill?"

" I love you Carlisle"

" Bella, I never really loved you. I just stayed with you because I've always fantasized about drinking your blood, and am waiting for the right time to do so."

" OMG… like, LOL"

" Wazzup dog?"

" Bella, I lied. I actually prefer blondes."

" I'm failing biology"

" Jacob Black is my best friend!"

" I'm blitzed" (means 'drunk'. Its 60's slang)

" I am indeed, a badass. That is why Charlie hates me"

" Jessica, you are one HAWT chick"

" My hair is dyed this color"

"Bella, I have a confession to make. I married Tanya before coming back to Forks when we first met."

" I hate the piano"

" I want to go shopping!!"