Discaimer: I own nothing. This is just for fun
He hopes it will all end soon
'I can't stand this not for long anymore.'
No he didn't. He was sick and tired of being suspicious all the time, of keeping everything in his mind, all the lies he told his friends and colleagues, of thinking of them as traitors. How could he go on a drink with Aaron after work or invite Natalia to a box match, how could he go shopping with Calleigh or look after Alexx' kids when he had to be suspicious all the time and watch his every word?
But most of all, how could he go home and play video games with Dan, convince him that fondue was something very odd or tell him he loved him when Dan was one of his suspects?
Ryan usually knew better than to become involved with a co worker but after the whole thing with Erika, the new AV-tech had been the first person in a along time that had been friendly to him without having second thoughts and so things had happened fast between them after Dan had asked him out for the first time (which had been in his first month in the lab).
Dan was charming and funny, intelligent and he distracted Ryan from some of his obsessive tendencies and even though he was clumsy sometimes and couldn't keep his mouth shut, Ryan couldn't get enough of him.
He had been there for him after the nail accident and Ryan could vividly remember the moment when he had woken up to feel one of his hands placed against Dan's face and heard the whispered: 'I was so scared. Don't do that again. I love you.'
And now he lied to the man he loved every day and it shredded him up inside but he tried to comfort himself with the thought that it wasn't Dan and that he was doing it for the lab. Both thoughts didn't help. He didn't want to suspect Dan but he had to and that killed him.
He just hoped it would all end soon.