AN: Dedicated to Jules, for prompting me with 'weed' and then changing her mind to 'chair' - so of course you get RJ, obsessing over his chair. Funny how these things turn out. Enjoy.

Oh, and not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine. :D


grievances of a mentor
the olcd and other important rules to follow

Okay, there was a problem. A very serious problem. This was a problem that outstripped all other problems. This was a problem with no clear and obvious solution, but one that definitely needed solving and soon - people's lives depended on it. Particuarly the Rangers' lives.

No one was respecting the Off Limits Chair Decree, as RJ liked to call it. At least, that's what he called it in his head. But none of the Rangers was following his number one rule and something had to be done. Immediately. He knew just the thing.

"I'm calling a grievance meeting today," he annouced to Lily that morning, as she praticed her flips on the center mat. Lily paused, upside down, and gazed curiously at her teacher. RJ sighed and stood on his head too, gazing at the Yellow Ranger. "A meeting where we all, like, discuss the problems of the loft." Lily's confusion cleared and she grinned cheerfully.

"Sounds perfect RJ, I'll be there!" She hopped out of her hand-stand and RJ watched her leave for as long as he could before his neck protested the angle it was at. He yawned and tapped his feet together as he gazed across the loft - upside down, which made for a much more interesting point of view. Perhaps it was time for some zen meditation, focus the mind, focus the body, focus the attention, focus-

Ooh, a penny.

Where was he? Right. Focus. So, some meditation and then to find Casey to inform him of the grievance meeting.

It was several minutes of calm, relaxed breathing and quiet serenity before the familiar screech of sneakers on the wood floor broke through RJ's subconcious. "Hi RJ," Casey said unconcernedly as he passed by, heading straight for his room.

"Un momento, my fine fearless friend, a talk must be had," RJ rolled out of his headstand to sit cross legged in the exact center of the large practice mat. That had worked out nicely. Sometimes, his skill and keen mind surprised even himse- was that a penny? Curious, he hadn't noticed that befo-

"What's up RJ?" Casey said, turning back to his mentor, breaking into his thoughts.

"Grievance meeting, tonight my man, and be not late. Or else," RJ raised a meaningful eyebrow, to which Casey replied with a slightly befuddled smile. Nice kid, but not the brightest spoon in the shed.

Or something to that effect.

RJ waved his hand in a clear dismissal and Casey hurried away, off to do whatever he did when he wasn't giving Fran enormous pay raises. Not that the woman didn't deserve them, but really - three times?

Theo was next, though RJ was in no rush to find him. Eventually the Blue Ranger would find him, as was inevitable. RJ puttered through his morning routine, puttering far enough that it was afternoon before Theo stomped upstairs, angry, though RJ was not surprised. Theo was always angry about something and no meditation or breathing technique yet had helped him release any of that anger yet - though not for lack of trying. He had never met anyone get so stressed over simply having stress.

"Theo," RJ began dramatically, but watched with furrowed eyes as Theo simply stomped past him, scowling.

"Now is not the time RJ, today was not a good day." RJ sighed. It was metaphor time.

"Theo, life is like a stool," RJ began meaningfully, before squinting. Wait, he'd used that one already. Crap, uh... "Or... a chair! That's it, a chair," RJ nodded sagely as Theo simply stared blankly at him. He gestured broadly, "Sometimes there are rules and regulations regarding this chair, ones that may seem tempting to break or bypass, but sometimes one simply has to take a seat elsewhere. Mmm?" Theo blinked several times and RJ was going to give it all up for naught before Theo's expression cleared and he smiled.

"You're right RJ! I'll go talk to Case right now!" With that, Theo proceeded - much more quietly - through the loft. RJ furrowed his eyebrows. Well, he'd been talking about the chair for real, but... He shrugged. Close enough.

"Grievance meeting, tonightamundo!" he called after Theo, who waved a hand behind him to show that he'd heard.

RJ peered around the loft and let out a long sigh. Hours still till the meeting and that meant some quality time with his TV, a banana and his blessed-totally-off-limits-and-soon-to-never-be-touched-again-except-by-him-chair.

-

"I think we are all aware of why this meeting has been called," RJ peered meaningfully at the circle - technically a square, he supposed, but he wasn't really into purporting labels or sticking people into boxes so perhaps they were a rhombus? or simply a parallelogram? - and made sure to catch each Ranger's eye.

"Definitely," agreed Lily immediately. "Casey, you need to stop leaving the toilet seat up." Casey gaped at her, astonished.

"Me? You need to stop leaving the cap off the toothpaste!" Lily gasped, horrified.

"Agreed, and whoever's mixing darks and lights during the Tuesday load of laundry seriously needs a refresher course on how to function like a normal person," Theo stuck in, staring at Casey meaningfully.

"Don't start tutoring me on how to be a normal person - normal people don't steal other people's food! If it says 'Casey' then guess what? It's not yours!"

"Oh don't even start with the kitchen!" Lily crowed, "Or I'll have to start in about someone whose name rhymes with Zeo who needs to learn how to use the disposal properly!"

RJ stared in horror. This was about his chair, not useless stupid things like bathroom timetables and someone's underwear being dyed pink. There was an ultimate purpose here, and he was not going to let it be derailed by the non-harmonious and totally un-zen-like whinings of these teenagers.

"I think we all know the real problem here," RJ spoke over the others, loudly enough to quiet them all. Lily nodded furiously, but didn't dare interrupt her teacher. Theo gave a meaningful glance at his two fellow teammates before smiling victoriously. Casey folded his arms across his chest and pretended he was elsewhere. "My chair," RJ said simply, outstretching his arms to the side as he gauged the reactions of his Rangers.

They all blinked.

Then they all started talking.

"Is that really it?" "Oh RJ, you're so selfish sometimes," "RJ man, it's just a chair, no big," "I wouldn't worry about it dude, seriously," "Don't tell me this was all about YOU RJ, I can't believe-" "The chair isn't even that comfortable, don't sweat it-"

RJ blinked. He couldn't believe what his ears were hearing. The Chair did not deserve such disrespect! The Chair was much bigger than all of them! The Chair was a metaphor for life!

RJ stared them all down until their complaints became grumblings and their grumblings dissolved into silence once more. There. That was better. RJ considered them all, perhaps there was a better way to go about doing this. "Do any of you have any suggestions then?"

Lily's hand flew into the air, waving it wildly in his face. RJ blinked before gesturing her to proceed. "Well, I think we should make a list of things everyone should do - it can even have your stupid chair rule on it," she said kindly to RJ, who raised an eyebrow but allowed her to continue out of the goodness of his heart, "And all those rules will be official loft rules that everyone needs to follow, yeah?" She glared meaningfully at Casey and Theo. The boys grumbled half-heartedly, but the solution was a solution so neither complained.

"Harmony and peace make much better bedmates than chaos and discord," RJ said sagely, though he got the feeling the Rangers were ignoring him. Ah well, his chair was still his and he was still their mentor, with much deeper and wiser knowledge of the world and an intense focus and keen observation skills like none that had ever-

Ooh, a penny.

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fin.

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